Domestic Violence and AFL

[JackOutback]

It's astonishing how quickly a positive thread can be derailed...all hail the internet.

Anyone who refuses to acknowledge that domestic violence disproportionately affects women is being deliberately disingenuous. That doesn't mean men can not be victims or that help is not available for them, but it does explain why more resources are focused in that area.

Anyway, best of luck.

 

[The Passenger]

To all those having a whinge you are more than capable of going out and starting groups that focus on things which you believe have been ignored... But it's just easier to have a go at those who are doing something sometimes.

 

[domus]

Some cancer charities are for all cancers. Some are for prostate cancer. Some are for breast cancer. Being one or the other doesn't really matter.

It all starts with abuse in relationships, or any or all forms by either party. You don't abuse your work mates, you don't abuse your friends, you don't abuse your family so why abuse your partner? And obviously physical violence is probably the worst form of that abuse.

From an AFL perspective we have physically fit macho men playing (or formerly playing) AFL. A lot of footy fans are strong macho guys. It kind of makes sense to use AFL to promote awareness and help eradicate domestic violence from men towards women. You can do that without denying the seriousness of violent women.

You are promoting a stereotype that suggests strong, aggressive male sportsmen are more likely to batter a woman. This is simply not true. You are also suggesting that any man who has the nasty inclination to batter his wife or girlfriend will not do it if his favourite player says something like "Hitting girls is just not on!"

If reducing crime was that simple we should have similar ads with footballers saying-"Robbing banks is dumb!" "painting graffiti on walls is a waste of time." I'm sure that would have a big impact.

The reasons for domestic violence are not found in the gender of the perpetrator. There are so many predictors-mental illness, drug and alcohol addiction, reciprocal partner violence, financial stress , and unemployment just to mention a few. For many people it's just easier to say men do it cause they are men and they like to belt around their little women.

Is it any wonder the feminists keep telling us the dv problem is escalating and an"epidemic" with the ridiculous approach they have taken these past 40 years.

 

[little graham]

Thanks to those for their positive responses. Our Foundation primarily looks at domestic violence against women and children but is well aware of domestic violence against men by both women and other men. We have included this in our education programs. The reason we focus on violence against women and children is that my wife is a former sufferer of the most severe domestic violence. An ex partner made 7 attempts to take her life and put her in hospital many times. She is not a feminist .... She is a survivor and when she started our foundation women and children were her preference understandably. I admire her and respect that.

Your page states you heavily focused in indigenous communities. Why are you discriminating against aboriginal men then? There has been gov studies into family violence in indigenous communities for decades that clearly show it a 50/50 thing. Now if your walking into these communities helping women only, how can you be sure your not helping the abuser? Because she has a black eye? Maybe she threw the first punch. Clearly stats show that in half of all cases, she did.

How many females abusers given sympathy by demented agencies and activists bring up male abusers?

 

[domus]

To all those having a whinge you are more than capable of going out and starting groups that focus on things which you believe have been ignored... But it's just easier to have a go at those who are doing something sometimes.

How do you know we are not? Try and ask the government for funding for a shelter for male victims of domestic violence and see what response you get. Males as victims of anything is seen as a joke and if a few men do speak up they get responses just like yours-"Stop whining!" "Be a man" "Grow some balls" The same old macho crap that holds men back from sharing their pain with others.

Anyway-I pay taxes and why shouldn't I have the right to sit at my computer and criticise the government for spending four times more funding on women's health than men's or promoting the idea that only women are victims of domestic violence?

 

[Docker Alyssa]

To all those having a whinge you are more than capable of going out and starting groups that focus on things which you believe have been ignored... But it's just easier to have a go at those who are doing something sometimes.

Who is whinging? Not sure which thread you are reading. Someone mentioned the lopsided nature of cancer, and how it relates to women issues being prioritized. Pretty valid assessment?

Someone else brought up the statistics of DV studies. And how 70% of the 50% of one sided DV is women doing it? Pretty valid response, and anyone with some facts to retort it haven't been seen.

I questioned why someone who survived DV from a single man (just one man), would only focus on helping women and children. And whether it's understandable. I find it not, and hence this thread is trying to support this foundation that doesn't actively support men, sorry I don't think its that valid to equalisation of gender.

 

[domus]

It's astonishing how quickly a positive thread can be derailed...all hail the internet.

Anyone who refuses to acknowledge that domestic violence disproportionately affects women is being deliberately disingenuous. That doesn't mean can not be victims or that help is not available for them, but it does explain why more resources are focused in that area.

Anyway, best of luck.

Sigh. Why is it negative to ask if we can show as much empathy and concern for male victims as female victims? No-one said they don't want women to receive all the help they need. You are wrong when you say women are disproportionately affected. Countless studies have shown when it comes to hitting, slapping, using weapons that men and women suffer equally. Women suffer worst at the extreme end of the scale-(murder) but that is not what constitutes most dv. If you look at the surveys which give us the figures you believe you would be astonished by the broad definition of what constitutes Dv is-it is ridiculous. One could be forgiven for thinking feminists want their statistics to look as bad as they possibly can and they achieve this with their ever expanding definitions.

 

[JackOutback]

Sigh. Why is it negative to ask if we can show as much empathy and concern for male victims as female victims? No-one said they don't want women to receive all the help they need. You are wrong when you say women are disproportionately affected. Countless studies have shown when it comes to hitting, slapping, using weapons that men and women suffer equally. Women suffer worst at the extreme end of the scale-(murder) but that is not what constitutes most dv. If you look at the surveys which give us the figures you believe you would be astonished by the broad definition of what constitutes Dv is-it is ridiculous. One could be forgiven for thinking feminists want their statistics to look as bad as they possibly can and they achieve this with their ever expanding definitions.

You can show as much empathy as you like, I just don't understand why some felt the need to rush in an attack the good work one poster is doing because it doesn't encompass all the good work one could possibly imagine.

And your statistics are likewise disingenuous. You acknowledge that women suffer at the extreme end of domestic violence. Even if the stats support the idea that domestic violence is committed equally (something I don't agree with), you simply can not equate a slap or a kick to a brutal beatdown or murder. Ignoring the power play at work doesn't do anyone any favours.

But again, I don't see the point in derailing an otherwise positive idea (which I understand I am contributing to, which is why I will now step back, not because I am ignoring anyone).

 

[The Passenger]

How do you know we are not?

Maybe you are. I have no idea.

But lets say you were an advocate for domestic violence against men and/or you ran a group of some description... It would seem a bit ass about to attack someone who is running a goup about domestic violence against women.

Would it not be more productive to say hey that's cool, I've also got a support group that exists along similar lines.

 

[Chameleon75]

Sigh. Why is it negative to ask if we can show as much empathy and concern for male victims as female victims? No-one said they don't want women to receive all the help they need. You are wrong when you say women are disproportionately affected. Countless studies have shown when it comes to hitting, slapping, using weapons that men and women suffer equally. Women suffer worst at the extreme end of the scale-(murder) but that is not what constitutes most dv. If you look at the surveys which give us the figures you believe you would be astonished by the broad definition of what constitutes Dv is-it is ridiculous. One could be forgiven for thinking feminists want their statistics to look as bad as they possibly can and they achieve this with their ever expanding definitions.

according to the abs 73% of dv of men is committed by other men, granted lack of reporting will skew the figures, but its not all "feminists".

 

[DAWESOME!!]

Thread on family violence, hijacked by a Men's Right Activist within three or four posts. An internet law as immutable as Godwin's.

 

[AstroboyUK]

Anyone who refuses to acknowledge that domestic violence disproportionately affects women is being deliberately disingenuous. That doesn't mean men can not be victims or that help is not available for them, but it does explain why more resources are focused in that area.

Anyway, best of luck.

and your reaction to the the facts that say exactly otherwise......(50% of DV is mutual, of the other 50%,, 70% of that is directed by women at their male partners. The vast majority of domestic abuse to children under 12 is by their mothers.) ... your reaction is to totally ignore the facts and trot out the socially indoctrinated line that its really only an issue for women. Misandry101.

 

[South of the Yarra]

Please provide the details about these safe houses for men. You say there are many safe houses for male victims of domestic violence. I am very glad to hear it. If this is true why would you say it is very hard to focus on men when you are surrounded by battered women. Surely you can be equally concerned about men. If there are many safe houses for men this makes all of the domestic violence campaigns which focus exclusively upon violence against women even more outrageously bigoted. They know men are victims but just don't care.

Happy too. Will compile a list now.

 

[South of the Yarra]

No I simply don't find it understandable her "preference" for women and children. Sorry.

This is 2014. Not 1970, when feminists ran these shelters in secret. Wondering when society is going to find that way to equality for all.

That's because you are not her.

 

[AstroboyUK]

Thread on family violence, hijacked by a Men's Right Activist within three or four posts. An internet law as immutable as Godwin's.

1. so men are not part of a 'family'?
2. so mentioning facts and pointing out a clear injustice in the way family violence is perceived and funded is hijacking a thread on "Family violence"?

I didn't realise that the topic was so sancrosact that you're not allowed to bring up these things. DV... MEN MUST NOT DISCUSS UNLESS THEY DISCUSS WOMENS PROBLEMS ONLY. ok, I get where youre coming from.

 

[South of the Yarra]

No I simply don't find it understandable her "preference" for women and children. Sorry.

This is 2014. Not 1970, when feminists ran these shelters in secret. Wondering when society is going to find that way to equality for all.

And that's because you and your 4 children weren't beaten to a pulp by a 6 ft 4 male, Locked in a boot and made to dig your own grave with a shot gun to your head.

 

[South of the Yarra]

Would love to have both AstroboyUk and Dormus on board with Phoenix Foundation. Perhaps you could open our male support and awareness division?????????? Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is????? The offer is there. We would love you on board.

 

[AstroboyUK]

And that's because you and your 4 children weren't beaten to a pulp by a 6 ft 4 male, Locked in a boot and made to dig your own grave with a shot gun to your head.

that's a truly truly horrible scenario - no one is denying this. No one is questioning this for a second. DV is a terrible issue.

 

[AstroboyUK]

Would love to have both AstroboyUk and Dormus on board with Phoenix Foundation. Perhaps you could open our male support and awareness division?????????? Are you willing to put your money where your mouth is????? The offer is there. We would love you on board.

PM me

 

[mottrain]

Thread on family violence, hijacked by a Men's Right Activist within three or four posts. An internet law as immutable as Godwin's.

Wow way to go playing the man and not the issue. It is the issue which is the concerning thing and also which what this apparent mens rights poster posted about is correct.

 

[South of the Yarra]

Your page states you heavily focused in indigenous communities. Why are you discriminating against aboriginal men then? There has been gov studies into family violence in indigenous communities for decades that clearly show it a 50/50 thing. Now if your walking into these communities helping women only, how can you be sure your not helping the abuser? Because she has a black eye? Maybe she threw the first punch. Clearly stats show that in half of all cases, she did.

How many females abusers given sympathy by demented agencies and activists bring up male abusers?

Because the elders in the community, mostly men asked us to focus on this. It was the communities request and they are extremely grateful for what we set doing.

 

[South of the Yarra]

PM me

Happy too.

 

[kickazz]

Jesus Christ.

Australia - don't get up off your arse and do something good lest you be criticised for what it is you are not doing; by those who are most likely doing nothing.

 

[South of the Yarra]

Jesus Christ.

Australia - don't get up off your arse and do something good lest you be criticised for what it is you are not doing; by those who are most likely doing nothing.

Cheers mate

 

[domus]

Maybe you are. I have no idea.

But lets say you were an advocate for domestic violence against men and/or you ran a group of some description... It would seem a bit ass about to attack someone who is running a goup about domestic violence against women.

Would it not be more productive to say hey that's cool, I've also got a support group that exists along similar lines.

The reason for this response is because the only domestic violence we ever hear about always has women as the victims and men as the perpetrators. Every day-be it on the tv or in the newspapers there are endless articles telling men they are responsible for the behaviour of a tiny minority. We have White Ribbon Campaigns, billboards, posters, feminists coming out to schools to point the finger at men and young males and treating them as if they are a problem to be fixed, a disease in need of a cure.Why should individuals have to set up programs or safe houses for men when the government funds all of the shelters/counsellours and programs for women? Why do we have an office for the status of women but no equivalent office for men? The majority of our homeless are men, 75% of suicides are committed by males, the vast majority of workplace death and injury happens to men and our boys are failing in our education system. Yet no-one thinks an office for the status of men is necessary. Why?

Men are entirely absent as victims and this is a disgrace.

Men suicide at nearly four times the rate of women. Would you not object if the government funded endless campaigns which never once referred to females who commit suicide? Imagine this campaign had slogans on billboards saying "Australia says no to the scourge of male suicide!" or " Show our men we care-don't let them turn to suicide." How long do you think a campaign like that would last before there were cries of-what about the women who commit suicide? How do you think the mothers/fathers and loved ones of female victims would feel about such a campaign? Would that not be a legitimate question? Or would you consider that a negative derailment of an important campaign?

If there were two campaigns running simultaneously focusing on men and women there would be no problem-but there never have been. Men's suffering is simply not regarded as being as worthy of our concern in comparison to female suffering of any kind and never has been. How do you explain the fact that women's health gets four times the funding of men's health yet men die years earlier?

I find the argument that more women are victims as a justification for the total absence of men as victims in any campaign a rather outrageous argument. Every year before our ANZAC clash the ex servicemen reads a tribute thanking our brave men and women for their sacrifice in our times of war. Perhaps 80 000 young men have died on the battle field for their country and many more have been mutilated or mentally damaged by their experiences. A literal handful of women have died(not on the battlefield) but in accidents during their service as nurses etc. Yet women are given equal recognition as victims. The ratio of male to female victims is infinitely more balanced yet men are invisible. Can you explain this?