Dwayne ' shit commentator ' Russell - PART 2 in 3d

[Mentallo]

It's my understanding that these people learned of Dwayne's fledgling career, and made a suicide pact. They didn't want to live in a world where Dwayne Russell commentates football. They did the right thing. Dwayne needs to apologise for robbing us of such talented people. Especially Ms. Lovelace. I know Dwayne tries to honour her legacy by engaging in sick sexual practices, but it's not enough. If the Pies coach doesn't sue Dwayne for defamation after tonight's effort, I don't know what I'll do. Can't take any more. I've absolutely had it. By the way, this is Mark Brayshaw. Mark is head of the coaches association. He is a spineless, lazy bastard who lets snakes like Dwayne treat coaches like pieces of excrement. If anybody knows what Mark does with all his free time I'd love to know.

What was said?

 

[Borussia Teeth]

It was 2002 I believe that Dwayne first contaminated the Melbourne airwaves. By sheer coincidence these celebrities died the very same year:

Dee Dee Ramone
Dudley Moore
Milton Berle
James Coburn
Billy Wilder
Joe Strummer
Richard Harris
John Entwistle
John Gotti
Peggy Lee
Layne Staley
Spike Milligan
Lisa Lopez
Hansie Cronje
Rosemary Clooney
George Roy Hill
Bruce Paltrow
Robert Urich
Princess Margaret
and last but certainly not least, Linda Lovelace.

It's my understanding that these people learned of Dwayne's fledgling career, and made a suicide pact. They didn't want to live in a world where Dwayne Russell commentates football. They did the right thing. Dwayne needs to apologise for robbing us of such talented people. Especially Ms. Lovelace. I know Dwayne tries to honour her legacy by engaging in sick sexual practices, but it's not enough. If the Pies coach doesn't sue Dwayne for defamation after tonight's effort, I don't know what I'll do. Can't take any more. I've absolutely had it. By the way, this is Mark Brayshaw. Mark is head of the coaches association. He is a spineless, lazy bastard who lets snakes like Dwayne treat coaches like pieces of excrement. If anybody knows what Mark does with all his free time I'd love to know.

I’ve no idea what you’re on about, but I like your style.

 

[richoatthedisco]

Deeerrrrwayne has also benefited more than anyone from the sad deaths of David Hookes & Clinton Grybas.

Oh my god. That is so true it hurts. I can't even be mad at Dwayne in this moment.

 

[Starburns_]

Did chuckle when he said before that Carlton need a safe word. He ruined it though by immediately following it with 2 consecutive mentions of the game being at "breaking strain."

 

[Cochblocked]

"Carlton might need a safe word!"

 

[CJApples87]

The thing is, I’ve heard him use that phrase several times. It’s not like he magically came up with something on the spot, it’s predetermined and overused.

 

[Dogs Rule]

The thing is, I’ve heard him use that phrase several times. It’s not like he magically came up with something on the spot, it’s predetermined and overused.

And completely out of context for a ******* football game.

 

[TigerGlory]

I think Eddie has kept him on a leash today. For some reason it hasn’t been as ear splittingly awful as usual and the only difference I can think of is that Eddie has been doing most of the commentary.

 

[Baltimore Jack]

"The elevator doors closed"

"He B-lined it"

 

[010203]

Last week when Nat Fyfe kicked a goal to extend Fremantle's lead over Carlton, Dwayne said ''Carlton need a safe word''.

There would have been kids everywhere asking their parents what Dwayne meant by 'safe word'.

 

[TexanKnights]

Oh yeah baby

 

[TexanKnights]

Dwyane goes home and 'drown his chaos balls in honey'

 

[workhorse]

Dwyane goes home and 'drown his chaos balls in honey'

I feel sick

 

[Sprout]

The latest addition to his rotation of turds: “Team A has gone up a gear. A gear that Team B doesn’t have”

He’s such a condescending POS.

 

[Mentallo]

The problem with being crook today and unable to attend Simmos 300th game was having to listen to this clown.

"Does a Stevie Wonder!!!"

Seriously Deeerrrrrrwayne what does that even mean?

 

[010203]

When Dwayne mentioned that Carlton had their biggest lead of the game, i changed the channel. Not because of what he'd said, just a bit of channel surfing. I turn it back to Fox Footy just as he tells me that Port Adelaide had their biggest lead of the game. I was just waiting to hear 'if you've just joined us'.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

“It’s getting hot in here!!”

Somewhere in the US Nelly just died

 

[Godchin]

2 minutes into the 1st quarter of the GWS vs West Coast and Dwayne pipes up with, "the intensity has lifted in the last minute!"

 

[CJApples87]

“The Barney Rubble bowling style”.

It’s Fred Flintstone.

 

[Mentallo]

I swear he has his own soundboard in the box with him and just mashes the buttons that play all the stupid things he says.

What needs to be done to get this clown off our TV's?

 

[pepsi]

I
What needs to be done to get this clown off our TV's?

Cancel your foxtel subscription and when the operator asks why, tell them you cannot stand dwayne russell. If enough people can do that, it will happen.

 

[George]

Was atrocious in the Saints v Port game on Saturday.

 

[Dogs Rule]

Was atrocious in the Saints v Port game on Saturday.

When is he not atricious?

 

[TeeKray]

When is he not atricious?

Sometimes he's not atrocious, he's just HORRENDOUS!

 

[CJApples87]

“That’s one of the goals of the year!!!”

Polson’s goal which was only just headed for a point and then took a freak bounce.

“That’s almost clean bowled them all and gone through for a goal!!!”

Harry McKay’s kick that was headed for going out of bounds before it was picked up by a Hawks player.

He just sounds thick when he says things like this.