Roast Essendon in no mans land

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Over the years, people (players, supporters, and media personnel) blamed Essendon’s coaches for their form. Rutten, Worsfold, Thompson, Scott. All have received varying levels of blame. The common denominator though is the playing group. From what I’ve seen, Essendon’s biggest issue over the years stem from two particular things:

1. Lazy role players, and
2. On-field leadership that don’t want to take true accountability.
Not the “we have to make finals” drivel every year. I’m talking about times where you see players like Cotchin, Selwood, Bontempelli, Neale, Toby Greene, Gawn, and Pendlebury take responsibility for the scoreboard and step up. Who steps up for Essendon? No one. It’s almost as if they think it’s not their responsibility to step up because they’ve “done” their role.

For as long as these two things continue to plague the playing group, things will not change. No amount of coach changes is going to change that.

I know that they’ll “work hard” and “step up” for, like, 3-4 games, but that’s not enough to do damage in the season. You have to be prepared to do that in most games, and Essendon’s playing group culture just doesn’t seem to promote that. Players just don’t seem to have the drive for it
This is word for word what’s playing out pretty much. The only player that steps up when needed is Zach Merrett. But that’s not enough. They have talent, but they just don’t put in the hard work required for success.
 

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We deserve priority picks in the draft this year.

It’s only fair considering how low we have sunk.
Nah. But you guys really deserve to have a banter thread with Carlton supporters for 2025..Bantering with Carlton folk has helped me deal with the Pies shitness this year. Could do wonders for you guys.

Thread title suggestions

"2025: Who will sh@t the bed and be out of finals contention first? Carlton or Essendon?"
or
"2025: Who will find the most embarrassing and heart breaking way of missing the finals? Carlton or Essendon?."
 
Fun fact; Essendon has not finished in the top 6 for % since 2002

that is mediocrity personified imho

WE havn't finished in the top-6 full stop since 2002, let alone talking about percentage. I posted earlier that the chances of this happening is 1 in 14,750.

We have also had a lower percentage than Geelong for 21 consecutive years. This is even worse because there is a theoretical 50-50 chance of finishing with a better percentage than any other team in any given year.

So, the chances of Essendon having a worse percentage than Geelong for 21 consecutive years is.... wait for it.....:


1 in 2,097,152
 
WE havn't finished in the top-6 full stop since 2002, let alone talking about percentage. I posted earlier that the chances of this happening is 1 in 14,750.

We have also had a lower percentage than Geelong for 21 consecutive years. This is even worse because there is a theoretical 50-50 chance of finishing with a better percentage than any other team in any given year.

So, the chances of Essendon having a worse percentage than Geelong for 21 consecutive years is.... wait for it.....:


1 in 2,097,152
Wow. 😲
How does Essendon do it?
 

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WE havn't finished in the top-6 full stop since 2002, let alone talking about percentage. I posted earlier that the chances of this happening is 1 in 14,750.

We have also had a lower percentage than Geelong for 21 consecutive years. This is even worse because there is a theoretical 50-50 chance of finishing with a better percentage than any other team in any given year.
Those stats assume that all teams have an equal chance. Factor in that Essendon is a rich and powerful club with a history of success. Meanwhile there are lowly minnows like St Kilda, North and the Dogs along with expansion teams battling to establish themselves, then the odds of that happening should be much, much lower. More like 1 in 25,000.
 
How's the days since last finals win counter going?

Whatever it's ticked over to today, there's another nearly 400 days to add until a possible final in 2025.

Eight year plan being implemented beautifully.

Fully expect, now that the pressure of finals are out of the equation, for Essendon to roll the ladder leaders this week
 
Those stats assume that all teams have an equal chance. Factor in that Essendon is a rich and powerful club with a history of success. Meanwhile there are lowly minnows like St Kilda, North and the Dogs along with expansion teams battling to establish themselves, then the odds of that happening should be much, much lower. More like 1 in 25,000.

Yes I know, but in a salary cap competition, with a draft, the odds are calculated on the assumption that all clubs have an equal chance.
 
How's the days since last finals win counter going?

2004: Here is a reference point to what albums came out that year, it was the first year that emo went mainstream, lol, as well as a lot of indie bands shining through, commercially??. Mr. Brightside etc..Anastacia, Avril..Lil'Flip, Outkast had a new album out. Weirdly, Mastodon's Leviathan came out that year, i always thought it was years later :drunk:


They still sold VHS format as well.

 
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2004: Here is a reference point to what albums came out that year, it was the first year that emo went mainstream, lol, as well as a lot of indie bands shining through, commercially??. Mr. Brightside etc..Anastacia, Avril..Lil'Flip, Outkast had a new album out. Weirdly, Mastodon's Leviathan came out that year, i always thought it was years later :drunk:


They still sold VHS format as well.

I remember Maroon 5 being big that year too.
 
2004: Here is a reference point to what albums came out that year, it was the first year that emo went mainstream, lol, as well as a lot of indie bands shining through, commercially??. Mr. Brightside etc..Anastacia, Avril..Lil'Flip, Outkast had a new album out. Weirdly, Mastodon's Leviathan came out that year, i always thought it was years later :drunk:


They still sold VHS format as well.

Great tune

 
Absolutely horrendous first round drafting these past few years.

Perkins, Cox and Reid from a few years ago are all either spuds, or injured.

Tsatas already has rumblings about him being trade bait as he can't kick and won't have a spot in the side any time soon due to others being better at his position.

Hobbs probably going to request a trade for the same reasons as Tsatas.

Their 2 biggest wins have been an SSP and mid season draftee.

At least Caddy looks a success.

Dodo needs to be loaded into a canon and fired into the sun.
 

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Roast Essendon in no mans land

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