Flogipedia - Bay 13 Induction Pack

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Porked04

Norm Smith Medallist
Jan 3, 2015
5,034
18,396
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Salutations Flogs, Friends and Foes,

In light of new member Alfred's first day on the Bay yesterday, it has come to my attention that Bay 13 needs a comprehensive induction pack for new members/walk ins from club boards.

Anonymous Flog said:
But Porked04, don't we already have the Bay 13 Rules stickied?

Yes, you are quite right. However think of these as like the 'street rules' - essential survival tips to survive on the Bay.

Anonymous Flog said:
Ok then. Great idea Porked04, I wish that was available when I first joined the Bay

Thanks AF, me too! Please observe the following and feel free to add any further instructions/tips/advice/hints to help new members of our community avoid being Tier 5 Posters.

FLOGIPEDIA - BAY 13 INDUCTION

Welcome: Hi (you can also spell this as "Hai") and Welcome to Bay 13. You have successfully navigated the Club Boards, the Main Board and the dreaded Trade and Free Agency Board to find Bigfooty's nirvana, Bay 13. Think of this place like a lovely 100g slither of triple-smoked beechwood ham in amongst shelves and shelves of canned spam; once you try some there is no turning back. If you don't take yourself too seriously and enjoy a laugh, this is the place for you. Simply follow the below instructions and you'll fit in great!

DRESS CODE
The common dress code for Bay 13 is casual-casual. Thongs (you may need gumboots to avoid the goo if Hawthorn 4peat), stubbies and your club jumper is fine. However when replying to CarndaTiggs/High Flying Tiger, do so wearing either an expensive suit or laying on an expensive piece of furniture (impression counts here)

BAY 13 VERNACULAR

- Flog; Flog is the most common term on Bay 13 you will come across. It has two distinct meanings; it is both an insult and a term of endearment. Observe the flowing:
Packedlunch, you are a goo-chugging Flog
In this instance, I am using 'flog' as an insult.
Packedlunch, you are a f888ing funny Flog
Here, the term 'flog' is being used in an affectionate manner.
- Divvy; If you see a shit thread/anything from CrazyKenny, don't be afraid of posting the word 'divvy' accompanied by a picture of a Police Van. However be warned; if you call out 'divvy' in a quality thread, you will look quite the muppet
- Spambot; Not to be mistaken for a Sooz recipe, a Spambot is a poster who constantly posts about the same thing. - see Tazhawk15
- Huewai -
The official choice of phone for all Bay 13 posters.
- Buttthurt - To describe an irate Poster. Note that this is similar in that the poster is angry but different to a meltdown because there are not walls and walls of text. See Plugger35's Ross Lyin Failmantle Thread
- F@#* Off Jose - The standard reply when Jose Mourniho replies to your post
- The Exers; The official AFL team for all Bay 13 posters. The Exers are a combination of Ex-Carlton players currently playing for opposing teams - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...tire-team-as-seen-on-afl-com-afl-360.1093464/
- D/H; Commonly used insult by a Richmond supporter who cannot change a tyre
- GAGF; 'Go and get f***' is the term to refer to when a player leaves a club. It is becoming obsessively overused. If you plan to use GAGF in the title of a thread, try to at least be creative. For example, if a player looks feminine; 'Seedsman's X chromosome tells his Y chromosome to GAGF'
- Don't quote/tag me minnow; To be used if you are annoyed a lower Tier poster is responding to you. For example;
Marto said:
Don't quote me minnow
- Goo; The sticky stuff Hawthorn posters leave on the Bay following a win
- Blow-in/Downhill Skier; Refers to posters who appear on the Bay only after a win/when there team is successful. See Cleric, an assortment of Sydney supporters
- TLDR; When a post if excessively long. Frequently used when Go You Pups posts
- Terror Squad/Tewwa Sqwad - A group of posters lead by Charcoalchicken/Burntchook who terrorised other posters. Now defunct, they allegedly hire themselves out as entertainment for children's parties nowadays.
- Bathwater; The choice of beverage for Bulldogs supporters
- Backfire. A Thread where the opposite of the opening premise comes to fruition. See any of Amstaff's Threads including http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/port-adelaide-will-be-10-2-after-round-12.1096072/
- Moran; Spelt with an 'a' and not an 'o'
- Elias; Spelt with an 'e' and not an 'a'
- Sauce; Spelt with an 'a' and 'u' instead of an 'o' and 'r'
- Mr Meanour - Misdemeanour
- Reacharound - When two posters become familiarly close and intimate with one another. See interaction between Hawthorn posters after a win for examples.
- West Horsham; The occupied lands west of the Victorian settlement of Horsham otherwise known as South Australia.
-
289_1432776742l.jpg
; The Badge given to the Flog of the Year (FOTY). Previous winners include longdaveyjetta, BALKAN, Black Flag, Mario, Wonaeamirri33. The current recipient is Tazhawk15. 2015 favourites for the title include Tazhawk15, DaVillaBlues and Tiggy Tiger. Avoid earning this badge at ALL costs

USERNAME
By now, you will have created a username. Given that 50% of internet forum users probably have the first name of 'Eugene', 'Dirk' or 'Derek', this is your opportunity to create a more popular second name. You will notice many posters have an underscore '_' at the end of their username. They are entitled to as a sign of longevity. Do not attempt to copy until you have spent at least two years on the Bay, doing so comes across as needy. An example of an outstanding username is Jean Claude Vas Deferens

Another important item to remember in username on the Bay is to avoid using apostrophe's; this comes with connotations of being affected with J'AIDS.

AVATAR
Your Avatar is an important piece of your identity. Make it unique and a reflection of your personality. Avoid making your Avatar a picture of an attractive female unless you wish to be PM'd by Bombers2003. For iconic Avatars, see Packedlunch or Mofra

ELIAS
If you plan on starting an elias, make it witty and topical. The best way to use your elias is to think of it as the spare pair of pants you bring to school/uni/work in case you wet yourself; it is there for your protection but try to use sparingly. See Bender, Jose Mourinho or Bayer for advice on elias'.

MELTING
Melting refers to loosing your cool and posting aggressively. It can be at times funny but there is a negative stigma attached to it if used incorrectly. The basic principle to follow is avoid melting when you are being trolled, and it is acceptable to melt when your team suffers a loss. See Amstaff and Haduken for quality melting advice - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/off-essendon.1103064/

A Stat Meltdown is referred to when a poster excessively uses numbers to argue a point. See any Bay 13 post from Hawkk for examples.

GIFS
You will immediately rise to prominence if your I.T. skills are proficient enough to create gifs. See Oogac's work for some of the funniest gifs on the internet.

MEMES
Memes can be funny if used correctly and not overused. Common templates for Meme's include the 'Wat' lady (see Percel's avatar) or the old lady titling her glasses looking at a computer. Check out Royals1922's Meme's for further tips.

PHOTOSHOPING
Ahh the marvels of new technology. The Bay without photoshopping would be like a St Kilda off-season without a scandal. Benwah, Red Mist and Oogac are the masters; study their work as if you are a student critiquing a Monet or Picasso - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...lubs-now-with-bonus-cluedo-toty-2014.1069308/

SHITFIGHTING
Standard shitfighting

Shitfighting occurs when two posters from opposing teams constantly try to undermine the other. It does get tiring, methodical and clogs up the Bay worst than the Ross Lyon defensive structure. Obsession shitfighting occurs when a poster continuously shitfights about the same topic. In this instance, you may reply with a picture depicting a Bottle of Aftershave with the title 'Obsession' written across it.
West Horsham Shitfighting
Refers to shitfighting but between Port and Kamry supporters. Common retorts suchs as 'Trigg', '119', 'Tarps' 'Toyota' are common. Unless you support either team, they are best avoided at all costs

TROLLING
Trolling is a more wittier and classier type of shitfighting. It is more of an art that requires prose, thought and humour. See Mofra, Bayer's Nathan Carroll Twitter account or A Cut Above for examples - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/mofras-bottom-50-2015-edition.1111757/

WELCHING
149_1376363628l.jpg

A poster is referred to as a 'Welcher' if they make a bet on Bay 13 and proceed to squib on what they promised. Avoid this at all cost; the stigma of being a welcher will haunt you throughout your Bay 13 career. See Black Flag, Waverley/Shepp, DaVillaBlues as examples

MAKING A THREAD
When making a thread you require 4 items;
1) An original thought (note, only post a thread if you still have the thought 10 minutes after posting - this example illustrates a poster who simply has posted his thought without proper consideration - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/sometimes-you-need-to-just-eat-crow.1112080/
2) Create a clever title
3) Write as if you are writing to a Year 2 audience
4) Include pictures/links/gifs/photoshops

See Benwah or Higgins2Waite for further instruction - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...personalities-private-details-leaked.1104823/

POSTING WHILE INEBRIATED
Yes it does happen. Try to avoid where possible as what you post will follow you. See Craffles, Duritz or Cheapchippy/Topjars for reference

TIGGY TIGER (TIGERBOYZ, TYREBOYZ, CROAT TIGER, GLUBBER LANG, PIXLE TYRE)
A member of Bay 13 royalty, Tiggy Tiger is an iconic part of the Bay. Born in the deep wilderness of the Croatian highlands into a tribe of Baltic gypsies, Tiggy mysteriously rocked up on to the Bay in 2004. A one-time Mod for Sooz's forum, Tiggy had a bitter falling out with Sooz and has had Bay Mod aspirations ever since. Tiggy found himself the subject of a decade's worth of ridicule for claiming he couldn't change a tyre on his car. He stated a 'bad back' prevented this. In 2015, Tiggy claimed that indeed he could change a car tyre and passed along photo evidence to Packedlunch, who subsequently created a Thread. Opinion amongst Bay posters was divided, with allegations of doctored photo's, unusual timelines and a curious clarity in picture quality. Ultimately, the myth was not busted and Tiggy still receives ridicule from Bay posters to this day about his inability to change a tyre, much to his despair. In his spare time, Tiggy is a budding photographer with some of his work demonstrated in the link below. It is beyond belief that Tiggy has never won a FOTY award however he has became the bona fide Patron Saint of all Bay Flogs. He has fought many battles on the Bay; Sooz, Turnip, DaVillaBlues - mostly in the Divvy Van and this community service is much appreciated. Tiggy has coined the catchphrase 'Shut up D/H'; if you receive such as reply consider this a badge of honour. Tiggy has deservedly won the respect of all Bay posters as the floggiest of all Flogs and his is an integral part of the Bay community. http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/kfc-boy-markii.1105280/

FLOYD
Floyd is a reclusive St Kilda poster who is the finest of all fine posters. According to some Bay posters, Floyd is a myth. Others say he is Chief's own perfect creation of a son. Whatever his purpose, Floyd is an exceptionally talented enigma of the Bay; consider yourself lucky if you stumble across one of his posts. Floyd produces a yearly Youtube video depicting the FOTY contestants and has produced award-winning videos depicting Tyreboyz. A Penfold's Grange amongst cleanskins on the Bay. http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/imperial-bay-13.691167/

BUTTON MASHING
Button mashing occurs when a poster reports another post. It is appropriate to use a gif depicting a finger rapidly pressing a button in the instance. According to an unnamed Moderator sauce (note the use of sauce here);
Sauceburns said:
Someone who reports posts. Flogs like to throw the accusation around at people they don't like, even though their guess is rarely correct and most flogs have mashed the button at some point anyway.
For examples, see regular interaction between Marto_ and Bayer_

AWARDS
One of the highlights of Bay 13 are the Awards on offer - both good and bad. Have a strong Bay 13 season and you may find yourself in the running for a prestigious award. F#$@ up, and you could be staring down the barrel at an award posters try to avoid.

Club Champions: Awarded to the best poster from each team on the Bay
Rising Flogster: Awarded to the best new poster on the Bay.
POTY: The peer-choice for best poster on the Bay. Think of this as the AFL-MVP equivalent
Toots: Awarded in honour of Toots Hibbert; a Bay comrade who has sadly passed away. Toots was a master troller and this award recognises the very best Bay poster as voted by the Mods. Oogac has owned this award in recent times. For Toots' masterpiece gift to the Bay, read further here - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...lly-youll-want-to-train-in-a-car-park.300967/
BMOTY: Awarded to the Button Masher of the Year. Bayer_ is usually the favourite, although his array of elias' usually result in some other poor old sod winning the award
AWOTY: An award usually fought out between Duritz and Amstaff, the AWOTY recognises the Attention Whore of the Year.
TOTY: Thread of the Year, an award that recognises the very best Thread on the Bay during the calendar year.
FOTY: The dreaded FOTY, this is the biggest and most feared award on the Bay; the Flog of the Year (in this case, 'Flog' is being used in a derogatory manner). JAID'S and Tyreboyz have miraculously avoided this award in the past. The winner often comes from he/she that melts the hardest in the nomination thread.

TAGGING
To tag a poster, simply place an '@' in front of their username. For instance, @ Jean Claude Vas Deferens can be tagged by following theses instructions - Jean Claude Vas Deferens

MEETING WOMEN
Yes, it can be done. Ask the Bay's very own Casanova Northernlights (one of many great Kangaroo posters) on how he worked his 'Norfern charm' to win over his lovely lady. Note, avoid Bombers2003's tips at meeting women on the Bay at all costs

THE VAG GANG
The group of regular female posters on the Bay (excluding Suburu). For membership information, contact Morganashlee, Wooshy, MEB, Kabanna or Alikat

EVIDENTIAL PROOF
In order to satisfy posters on the Bay of proof of claim, any picture you upload on to the Bay should include the middle finger raised within the picture. Note, this will subject you to ridicule about having either fat, hairy or ranga hands. See Duritz's Holiday Thread - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/i-am-going-on-holidays-you-floggos.1046371/

LIKE RATIOS
For members who have joined post 2013, a 1.2:1 post-to-like ratio is acceptable. If you find yourself below this figure, simply go to the West Coast or Fremantle Club Boards and post about how umpires robbed them during the finals to increase your tally. A ratio greater than 2:1 will get you entry into BigJoey's 2:1 Club. See Oogac and Benwah for outstanding ratio's


Follow these simple rules and you should be fine. As a wise old Moderator Oracle on the Bay once told me; 'A Flog on the Main Board is safe. But that's not what Bigfooty was made for'.

Enjoy your time here!!

Sincerely,


Bay 13 Community
 
Last edited:
Salutations Flogs, Friends and Foes,

In light of new member Alfred's first day on the Bay yesterday, it has come to my attention that Bay 13 needs a comprehensive induction pack for new members/walk ins from club boards.



Yes, you are quite right. However think of these as like the 'street rules' - essential survival tips to survive on the Bay.



Thanks AF, me too! Please observe the following and feel free to add any further instructions/tips/advice/hints to help new members of our community avoid being Tier 5 Posters.

FLOGIPEDIA - BAY 13 INDUCTION

Welcome: Hi (you can also spell this as "Hai") and Welcome to Bay 13. You have successfully navigated the Club Boards, the Main Board and the dreaded Trade and Free Agency Board to find Bigfooty's nirvana, Bay 13. Think of this place like a lovely 100g slither of triple-smoked beechwood ham in amongst shelves and shelves of canned spam; once you try some there is no turning back. If you don't take yourself too seriously and enjoy a laugh, this is the place for you. Simply follow the below instructions and you'll fit in great!

DRESS CODE
The common dress code for Bay 13 is casual-casual. Thongs (you may need gumboots to avoid the goo if Hawthorn 4peat), stubbies and your club jumper is fine. However when replying to CarndaTiggs/High Flying Tiger, do so wearing either an expensive suit or laying on an expensive piece of furniture (impression counts here)

BAY 13 VERNACULAR

- Flog; Flog is the most common term on Bay 13 you will come across. It has two distinct meanings; it is both an insult and a term of endearment. Observe the flowing:

In this instance, I am using 'flog' as an insult.

Here, the term 'flog' is being used in an affectionate manner.
- Divvy; If you see a shit thread/anything from CrazyKenny, don't be afraid of posting the word 'divvy' accompanied by a picture of a Police Van. However be warned; if you call out 'divvy' in a quality thread, you will look quite the muppet
- GAGF; 'Go and get f***' is the term to refer to when a player leaves a club. It is became obsessively overused. If you plan to use GAGF in the title of a thread, try to at least be creative. For example, if a player looks feminine; 'Seedsman's X chromosome tells his Y chromosome to GAGF'
- Goo; The sticky stuff Hawthorn posters leave on the Bay following a win
- TLDR; When a post if excessively long. Frequently used when Go You Pups posts
- Bathwater; The choice of beverage for Bulldogs supporters
- Moran; Spelt with an 'a' and not an 'o'
- Elias; Spelt with an 'e' and not an 'a'

USERNAME
By now, you will have created a username. Given that 50% of internet forum users probably have the first name of 'Eugene', 'Dirk' or 'Derek', this is your opportunity to create a a more popular second name. You will notice many posters have an underscore '_' at the end of their username. They are entitled to as a sign of longevity. Do not attempt to copy until you have spent at least two years on the Bay, doing so comes across as needy.

AVATAR
Your Avatar is an important piece of your identity. Make it unique and a reflection of your personality. Avoid making your Avatar a picture of an attractive female unless you wish to be PM'd by Bombers2003. For iconic Avatars, see Packedlunch

ELIAS
If you plan on starting an elias, make it witty and topical. The best way to use your elias is to think of it as the spare pair of pants you bring to school/uni/work in case you wet yourself; it is there for your protection but try to use sparingly. See Bender, Jose Mourinho or Bayer for advice on elias'.

MELTING
Melting refers to loosing your cool and posting aggressively. It can be at times funny but there is a negative stigma attached to it if used incorrectly. The basic principle to follow is avoid melting when you are being trolled, and it is acceptable to melt when your team suffers a loss. See Amstaff and Haduken for quality melting advice - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/off-essendon.1103064/

GIFS
You will immediately rise to prominence is your I.T. skills are proficient enough to create gifs. See Oogac's work for some of the funniest gifs on the internet.

MEMES
Memes can be funny if used correctly and not overused. Common templates for Meme's include the 'Wat' lady (see Percel's avatar) or the old lady titling her glasses looking at a computer. Check out Royals1922's Meme's for further tips.

PHOTOSHOPING
Ahh the marvels of new technology. The Bay without photoshopping would be like a St Kilda off-season without a scandal. Benwah and Oogac are the masters; study their work as if you are a student critiquing a Monet or Picasso - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...lubs-now-with-bonus-cluedo-toty-2014.1069308/

SHITFIGHTING
Standard shitfighting

Shitfighting occurs when two posters from opposing teams constantly try to undermine the other. It does get tiring, methodical and clogs up the Bay worst than the Ross Lyon defensive structure.
West Horsham Shitfighting
Refers to shitfighting but between Port and Kamry supporters. Common retorts suchs as 'Trigg', '119', 'Tarps' 'Toyota' are common. Unless you support either team, they are best avoided at all costs

TROLLING
Trolling is a more wittier and classier type of shitfighting. It is more of an art that requires prose, thought and humour. See Mofra or A Cut Above for examples - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/mofras-bottom-50-2015-edition.1111757/

WELCHING
A poster is referred to as a 'Welcher' if they make a bet on Bay 13 and proceed to squib on what they promised. Avoid this at all cost; the stigma of being a welcher will haunt you throughout your Bay 13 career. See Black Flag, Waverley/Shepp, DaVillaBlues as examples

MAKING A THREAD
When making a thread you require 4 items;
1) An original thought (note, only post a thread if you still have the thought 10 minutes after posting - this example illustrates a poster who simply has posted his thought without proper consideration - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/sometimes-you-need-to-just-eat-crow.1112080/
2) Create a clever title
3) Write as if you are writing to a Year 2 audience
4) Include pictures/links/gifs/photoshops

See Benwah or Higgins2Waite for further instruction - http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...personalities-private-details-leaked.1104823/

POSTING WHILE INEBRIATED
Yes it does happen. Try to avoid where possible as what you post will follow you. See Craffles, Duritz or Red Mist on Monday night for reference

MEETING WOMEN
Yes, it can be done. Ask the Bay's very own Casanova Northernlights (one of many great Kangaroo posters) on how he worked his 'Norfern charm' to win over his lovely lady. Note, avoid Bombers2003's tips at meeting women on the Bay at all costs

LIKE RATIOS
For members who have joined post 2013, a 1.2:1 post-to-like ratio is acceptable. If you find yourself below this figure, simply go to the West Coast or Fremantle Club Boards and post about how umpires robbed them during the finals to increase your tally. A ratio greater than 2:1 will get you entry into BigJoey's 2:1 Club. See Oogac and Benwah for outstanding ratio's


Follow these simple rules and you should be fine. As a wise old Moderator Oracle on the Bay once told me; 'A Flog on the Main Board is safe. But that's not what Bigfooty was made for'.

Enjoy your time here!!

Sincerely,


Bay 13 Community

Also, if you do feel need to melt, don't be like this guy:

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...lent-really-piss-people-off-that-much.722729/
 

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  • Thread starter
  • Banned
  • #7
- Divvy; If you see a shit thread/anything from CrazyKenny, don't be afraid of posting the word 'divvy' accompanied by a picture of a Police Van. However be warned; if you call out 'divvy' in a quality thread, you will look quite the muppet
Thanks to my learned colleague GoCROWS! for providing a practical example for when the phrase 'divvy' should not be used
 
And be warned that the charm of GAGF in the fred title is waning and likely to rustle some jimmies.
For a definition on jimmy rustling, simply refer to the Kamrys club board after Dangerfield's declaration.
+
His = he is
+
No one is who you think they are, except Davillage idiot and SubUru (always spelt incorrectly), who are currently procreating to create one mega-welching flog.


This poster has 3 sensational assets:

weird_bad_ugly_people_with_unibrows_joint_combined_eyebrows_pics_images_photos_pictures_man-_zpsrx3lib4e.jpg
 

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Don't quote me minnow.

Porkies the above quote needs to make the guide as an essential tool for cranky seasoned campaigners.

Can also be modified to "Don't tag me minnow"

But will never be "Don't like me minnow"
 
Last edited:
Porkies the above quote needs to make the guide as an essential tool for cranky seasoned campaigners.

Can also be modified to "Don't tag me minnow"

But will never be "Don't like me minnow"

It's not for cranky seasoned campaigners. It's for closet Terror Squad members. Terra Skwad has to go in too.
 
Porkies the above quote needs to make the guide as an essential tool for cranky seasoned campaigners.

Can also be modified to "Don't tag me minnow"

But will never be "Don't like me minnow"
*Applicable whenever meltyoupups tags or quotes you
 
It's not for cranky seasoned campaigners. It's for closet Terror Squad members. Terra Skwad has to go in too.

Good point fellow Hawfie.

Newbies be sure to steer clear of their clubhouse.


image.jpeg
 
It's not for cranky seasoned campaigners. It's for closet Terror Squad members. Terra Skwad has to go in too.

Does anybody even remember these nobodies anymore?
 
To any new Bay 13 Members reading this, in this Thread already, you have already witnessed

- TLDR
- Melting
- Shitfighting
- Photoshopping
- Premature calls for divvying


Thread giving practical evidence :D:D:D

Couple of underscores as well
 
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