Roast Hawthorn related jokes.

[Gunstall555]

It's 2015. A guy walks into a mate's place to watch a Hawks vs Blues match. At the end of the game, the siren goes and his mate's 11 year old son gets out of the chair and goes to the fridge and gets his dad a beer.

The guest sees this and asks "What was that all about?"

"Oh that? Well every time the hawks beat the blues he gets me a beer from the fridge."

"what does he doi if the Blues beat the Hawks?"

"I don't know. It's never happened. He's only 11."

this is a good one…i might share with our Blue friends

You should have seen all the jokes Carlton supporters tweeted last time they....oh never mind.

 

[Lethality]

Every time we kick a goal I read a paragraph from Lethal's book "Accept the Challenge" to opposition supporters.

 

[grizzlym]

You should have seen all the jokes Carlton supporters tweeted last time they....oh never mind.

How about the Bulldogs?

"Robert Menzies walked into a licenced establishment...."

 

[eldorado]

You should have seen all the jokes Carlton supporters tweeted last time they....oh never mind.

Maybe some amusing telegrams were exchanged...

 

[Agent Smith]

Horse walks onto the MCG after Grand Final thrashing vs Hawthorn. I said 'Why the long face?'

Thank you, thank you. And on that note, time to bring in 2015.

 

[grumbleguts]

 

[MistyAvalon]

A man got a wish from a genie and he asked for immortality. The genie told him that was against the rules. So he asked to stay alive until richmond played north melbourne in a grand final. The genie said "you crafty bastard!"

ha ha, I like that one

 

[Samthegun]

There was once this team named Hawthorn.

They were the best.

The End

Not what I would call a joke

I think it's a great jokethorn.

 

[Samthegun]

Bloke walking down the beach one day found a lamp,gave it a rub and a genie appeared I will give you one wish he says.the bloke thinks I would like a bridge from Australia to America so i can drive the family over to Disneyland,the genie thinks about it can't be done the expense the engendering.the bloke agrees ok he says i want freo to win AFL grand final.the genie go's would that be 2 lanes or 4

I think you engendered this joke terribly!

 

[Samthegun]

What would you do if Jesus came to Hawthorn?....Play him at Centre half back!

Unfortunately, despite huge talents, I don't think there'd be room for him on the team!

 

[grumbleguts]

Show your friends you are psychic with this clever little mathematical trick.

Ask them to think of a number.
Double it
Add on 7
Multiply that answer by the number of times Carlton has beaten Hawthorn in the last ten years.
Add on 9.

Their answer will always be nine. It's amazing.No one knows how this works. But it just does. It works every single time.

 

[Samthegun]

Show your friends you are psychic with this clever little mathematical trick.

Ask them to think of a number.
Double it
Add on 7
Multiply that answer by the number of times Carlton has beaten Hawthorn in the last ten years.
Add on 9.

Their answer will always be nine. It's amazing.No one knows how this works. But it just does. It works every single time.

x= the number one thinks of
y = number of times in past ten years
z = total number

So we need z, where z = (2x + 7)y +9
We know from http://afltables.com/ that y = 0
Therefore z = (2x + 7).0 + 9 = 9
So regardless of the value of x, z will always = 9.
QED.

I'm bored...

 

[grumbleguts]

x= the number one thinks of
y = number of times in past ten years
z = total number

So we need z, where z = (2x + 7)y +9
We know from http://afltables.com/ that y = 0
Therefore z = (2x + 7).0 + 9 = 9
So regardless of the value of x, z will always = 9.
QED.

I'm bored...

I really hope you didn't think you needed to do that.

 

[illnino]

This is probably an oldie but I'd never seen it before and I laughed way to much when I recieved it for Christmas last year...



Best present ever, from my Essendon supporting brother of all people.

 

[A Cut Above]

Did you hear the one about the club who won more Premierships in the modern era than Hawthorn?

No, you didn't.

 

[Todman]

What do you call a woman with two campaigners?

Nikki Brownless.

 

[Hawker_85]

Nikki Brownless.

 

[Samthegun]

I really hope you didn't think you needed to do that.

Of course not. I was joking.

 

[Dipper]

This is probably an oldie but I'd never seen it before and I laughed way to much when I recieved it for Christmas last year...

View attachment 217826

Best present ever, from my Essendon supporting brother of all people.

That one's a rip off of comments made some years ago regarding the German soccer team by Gary Lineker.

 

[Roddy]

I have not one but two jokes.

The Carlton Football Club.

The Essendon Football Club.

Pretty funny hey!

 

[OhhhhhCyril]

I woke up this morning and started to watch a bit of AFL club day ..there must be a joke in there somewhere that ends with .. And Cameron Mooney misses again.

 

[Pessimistic]

When I first came to Oz, lou Richards had a daily joke in triple M. the de generation thing.

When asked how the finals series worked, he rambled on for a minute or so and finished by saying "..and the winner of that game plays Hawthorn in the grand final"

 

[grumbleguts]

 

[Great 2008]

If he flaked it at my party he would be in so much trouble.

 

[Fluro Boots]

A Swans fan reasonably new to the sport went to the 2014 Grand final, he enjoys the Tom Jones show pregame entertainment but then witnesses a one sided smashing and asks his mate "does Hawthorn always win grand finals?" his mate replies "it's not unusual"