Roast Hawthorn related jokes.

[grumbleguts]

Heard that one 2 years ago. Saw it on Instagram or some social media app.

Good.

 

[HairyO]

I've seen thirteen. Thiiiirrrrrttteeeeeeeen!

I think Ive been alive for 13, remember 10 very well, the 11th not so much.

1989 and 1991 are the ones from a long time ago that stick in my mind the most. 2008 and 2014 more recently.

-----------

It's the Grand Final and a man makes his way to his seat. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbour, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat for the Grand Final and not use it?"

The neighbour says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Grand Final we haven't been to together since we got married."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... but couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. "They're all at the funeral."

 

[satadaynitefeva]

What's the difference between a quadrilateral and the fremantle dockers?

A quadrilateral has four points.

Oh dear

 

[grumbleguts]

Thought I'd better get this in now before we play them just in case.

 

[grumbleguts]

This is an adapted joke but it works well here.

It's 2015. A guy walks into a mate's place to watch a Hawks vs Blues match. At the end of the game, the siren goes and his mate's 11 year old son gets out of the chair and goes to the fridge and gets his dad a beer.

The guest sees this and asks "What was that all about?"

"Oh that? Well every time the hawks beat the blues he gets me a beer from the fridge."

"what does he do if the Blues beat the Hawks?"

"I don't know. It's never happened. He's only 11."

We should probably use this as much as we can while we still can although the kid is now 12.

 

[grumbleguts]

I phoned my local radio station today...

DJ: "Congratulations on being our 1st caller, all you have to do is answer the next question correctly to win our grand prize."

Me: "Great"

DJ: "It's a Maths question. Feeling
confident?"

Me: "Yes, why not. I've got a PhD in a science and I have taught maths at the highest level."

DJ:"Okay then, to win 2 VIP tickets to an evening with Ross Lyon, and you get to meet him after his talk and sit with him at his own table during the dinner, what's 2+2?"

Me: "7"

 

[Collins-Langford-Ayres]

 

[Restricted Free Agent]

Adelaide went into the second half with only one goal on Saturday night.

 

[grumbleguts]

Q: How many Richmond supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. Which, coincidentally, is the exact same number of premierships they won in a row.

 

[grumbleguts]

My therapist told me it would be very therapeutic to write letters to all the annoying Richmond fans that are irritating me and then burn them. She was right it felt great, but now I don't know what to do with all the letters.

 

[Xtreme]

I'm still laughing at Hannebery!

 

[grumbleguts]

My son is taking part in a social experiment, he has to wear a Geelong jersey for a week.
So far he's been abused, spat on, kicked and punched in the face. It'll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house!

 

[Brant]

My son is taking part in a social experiment, he has to wear a Geelong jersey for a week.
So far he's been abused, spat on, kicked and punched in the face. It'll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house!

He'll be over-rated & rewarded for no reason & every 50/50 will go his way!

 

[Davo23]

My son is taking part in a social experiment, he has to wear a Geelong jersey for a week.
So far he's been abused, spat on, kicked and punched in the face. It'll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house!

Does he duck his head when you attack him?

Anyway, he’ll still receive more All Australians than all of the rest of the family.

.

 

[grumbleguts]

After our loss to North Melbourne this year I went to a grief counsellor. Sadly between our fourth and fifth sessions, he died. Thankfully he was so good at his job I didn't give a crap.

 

[grumbleguts]

There was a little boy who wanted to leave his parents because they beat him. The judge tried to get him to move in with some other family members. Problem was, his uncle beat him, his aunty also beat him even his older siblings beat him. The judge at his wit's end, asked him who he wanted to move in with and he said "North Melbourne, they never beat anyone."

 

[grumbleguts]

Teacher: OK class, can somebody put the word contagious into a sentence for me.
Johny: ME! I can!
Teacher: OK Johnny.
Johnny: My neighbour is an Essendon supporter. He's trying to paint his house red and black with a two inch brush. My dad reckons it's going to take that stupid contagious.

 

[grumbleguts]

I should really work out more. Trouble is, Every time I go to the gym, St Kilda wins a premiership.

 

[grumbleguts]

What's the difference between f*ckwit and an Essendon player?

You can't make an Essendon player of your self at a party.

 

[Elhawko]

Out of date now but it made me smile at the time. In early 2017, SEN invited footy fans to call in with a possible theme for their club for the coming season. A Hawthorn fan rang in and suggested ‘The drought is over!’.

 

[extractasam]

Out of date now but it made me smile at the time. In early 2017, SEN invited footy fans to call in with a possible theme for their club for the coming season. A Hawthorn fan rang in and suggested ‘The drought is over!’.

Nothing gets oppo fans more riled than referring to ourselves as being in a premiership brought candidly mid conversation

 

[CliffMcTainshaw]

Cody Weightman

3

Cody Weightman

Age

23

Ht

179cm

Wt

75kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

6.5

2star

K

4.0

2star

HB

2.5

2star

M

2.0

2star

T

1.0

3star

G

1.0

4star

D

6.5

1star

K

4.0

1star

HB

2.5

2star

M

2.0

2star

T

1.0

2star

G

1.0

4star

D

6.5

2star

K

4.0

2star

HB

2.5

3star

M

2.0

3star

T

1.0

3star

G

1.0

4star

View attachment Newcombe and weightman.mp4

 

[grumbleguts]

 

[Sixpence]

What's the difference between f*ckwit and an Essendon player?

You can't make an Essendon player of your self at a party.

Yes you can, you can take heaps of drugs at parties!