Mod. Notice Mental Health Thread

[caesar88]

Yesterday was World Mental Health Day, but really, every day should be mental health day. It's a serious issue that millions of people go through, and it should be talked about more so that people can get the emotional or practical support they need without feeling ashamed or alone.

In light of World Mental Health Day and the issue's importance, this will be a thread for all things mental-health related. Feeling anxious or depressed? Alone or isolated? Just want to share your day-to-day experiences with your mental health, good or bad? This is the place for you to share.

The mods have discussed this and we will ensure this thread is a judgment-free zone. It's purely for honesty, vulnerability & support. Any controversial opinions on mental health, or any criticisms or negative personal comments, will not be tolerated.

If sharing in an online forum isn't for you, or you feel you need additional support in your life, we've provided a list of resources below that could be useful, and we here at Bigfooty strongly encourage you to seek this support and assistance if needed.

FOR EMERGENCY SUPPORT

Call 000 if your life is in danger.

Beyond Blue - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ | call (03) 9810 6100 | Email is listed at https://www.beyondblue.org.au/about/contact-us

(For deaf community assistance, connect to the National Relay Service (https://www.accesshub.gov.au/about-the-nrs) and ask for 1300 22 4636, or call TTY on 1800 555 677 and ask for 1300 22 4636)

Lifeline - https://www.lifeline.org.au/ | call 13 11 14 | For enquiries, see the online chat available 24/7 on the website.

Suicide Call Back Service - https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/ | call 1300 659 467

FOR GENERAL MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES

ReachOut - https://au.reachout.com/

Headspace - https://www.headspace.com/ (Requires online registration)

Griefline - https://griefline.org.au/ | call 1300 845 745

Black Dog Institute - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

FOR CHILDREN SUPPORT

Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/ | call 1800 55 1800 | admin@kidshelpline.com.au (available 8am - 5pm, Monday to Friday)

FOR ABORIGINAL AND TORRES STRAIT ISLANDER SUPPORT

13 YARN - 13YARN.org.au | call 13 92 76 (available 24/7)

FOR DOMESTIC & FAMILY VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT SUPPORT

1800Respect - 1800respect.org.au | call 1800 737 732 (available 24/7) | Online chat services available 24/7 on the website.

Mensline Australia - https://mensline.org.au/ | call 1300 78 99 78 | Online chat available on the website.

Relationships Australia - https://www.relationships.org.au/ | call 1300 364 277

FOR SUBSTANCE ABUSE SUPPORT

National Alcohol and Other Drugs Hotline - call 1800 250 015

Family Drug Support - call 1300 368 186

Stimulant Treatment Line - call 1800 101 188

Counselling Online - https://www.counsellingonline.org.au/

Alcoholics Anonymous Australia - https://aa.org.au/ | call 1300 222 222

Narcotics Anonymous Australia - https://www.na.org.au/multi/ | call 1300 652 820

FOR EATING DISORDER SUPPORT

Butterfly Foundation - https://butterfly.org.au/ | call 1800 33 4673 | Online chat available on the website.

FOR LGBTIQA+ SUPPORT

Rainbow Door - https://www.rainbowdoor.org.au/ | call 1800 729 367 (available 10am - 5pm everyday) | support@rainbowdoor.org.au

QLife - https://qlife.org.au/ | call 1800 184 527 | Online chat available on the website.

FOR DISABILITY SUPPORT

Disability Gateway - https://www.disabilitygateway.gov.au/health-wellbeing | call 1800 555 677 and 13 14 50 for interpreter.

FOR GAMBLING SUPPORT

Gambling Help Online - https://www.gamblinghelponline.org.au/ | call 1800 858 858 | Online chat available on the website.

Feel free to share any more resources you find in this thread.

 

[Ceehook]

A few years back for RUOK day , somebody set up a session to discus, I had to laugh , everyone there were strong independent types , future managers

By the time the session was almost over raised the point if there are people at work struggling they are come to one of us.

That seemed to have general agreement , so I raised , how do we help ?

Active listening was pretty much the only idea, which is important .

I have recognized a problem with a staff member struggling with a partner with MS so I got a number for a work organized counselor . It had some success and gave him some coping mechanisms . So worth doing and a shouting out to Caesar for posting

 

[Rory Walkerfield]

Great initiative.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, will have some degree of mental vulnerability at some point in their life.

You are never alone, even when you feel that you are.

 

[Verdun]

Got a minute to Take a minute? - Take a minute

takeaminute.com.au

MH is about what is available to us not only about what is wrong similar to physical health

 

[cairo tiger]

You have my support for this one, lets keep the MH vibe going, look out for each other, look out for ourselves, dont be scared there is help out there

 

[Kiama Chris]

Thanks Caesar, having those resources close to hand is valuable. My wife did a few years as a Lifeline counsellor and says that it is terrifying what is out there where people have no support and are scared and lonely. We've had some experience in our extended family and it ain't no picnic. So our best to all those dealing with it.

 

[Cleric]

Great to see. There's lots of help out there people. You will get through it, and there will be good times after that bad pass, and they will pass.

 

[MALTSY]

Developed crippling anxiety after a trauma many years ago and it was the scariest thing I’ve ever been through. Never thought I’d make it back. But here I am, stronger for the experience with loads more empathy for those suffering with a mental health condition. Supportive people that are non judgmental and able to reassure you that things will get better are the best! Avoid or at least filter advice from self professed gurus and untrained counsel.
You will get through.

 

[Ceehook]

Over the past 12 months or so I’ve had more than a few chats with my adults sons about mental health type issues , they are 29 , 32 & 34
For young adult males many if not all run into trouble with grog , drugs or gambling and the prevalence is frighteningly common

We know of two guys in their 30’s have ruined their lives thru gambling , that might sound like a throw away. , but one involved drawing down big amounts from a mortgage to play pokies and casino gamble , of course marriage split turmoil in broader family , he seems like he might be tracking ok but it has ruined his life and another case a guy , non drinker totally absorbed by pokies and sports betting , has zero to his name , marriage break up , took deposits on jobs and didn’t buy the materials , gambled instead , he has multiple court cases being brought against him so has fled the country

These more extreme cases need professional help not a chat over 5 or 6 schooners
For these two cases I’d rate the people as very decent but they have an illness

There is a third case where the guy has gone off the rails with all 3 , he owes a lot of money to a lot of people and one being the ATO so I suspect jail time there . I don’t rate his morale compass as too great before he got into trouble

The message I’d put out there is if we have family , friends or work colleges needing help we encourage and support them seeking professional help and don’t let it feel like a stigma

 

[4Seasons]

When I read the bulldog gameday threads, and threads after a loss, I feel for some of our players. I feel people caring about MH has a long way to go, and is currently just all talk.

 

[Ceehook]

Hmm people liking but not contributing

Here’s one for people to comment
I have twins that are now late 20s
The girl landed what looked like a good job in a hospital only to find out she had a toxic micro manager as a boss , a week into the job a team mate quit with no job to go to because she couldn’t stand the manager anymore , my advice to my daughter was to leave , look for a job elsewhere , your well-being is to important
DONT try and fight for justice

My son comes to just a few weeks ago , he works in a political party but not a political role , he has had a woman come to him and ask to put in a bullying complaint because she was too scared to
It weighed heavily on him as he thought the manger in question was very toxic and a handful of female staff had quit citing similar reasons

My advice was to leave as soon as he could , pick your battles and this was not one , the right to bully is a core value of that place and you can die trying to change it , for your sake go and do t look back

This had cone on the back of another messy situation in that workplace

My advice was look for the exit door and critically important don’t let them live rent free in your head

I’ll get people can say I’m a coward and are teaching my kids to be cowards

Comments ?

 

[Kiama Chris]

Hmm people liking but not contributing

Here’s one for people to comment
I have twins that are now late 20s
The girl landed what looked like a good job in a hospital only to find out she had a toxic micro manager as a boss , a week into the job a team mate quit with no job to go to because she couldn’t stand the manager anymore , my advice to my daughter was to leave , look for a job elsewhere , your well-being is to important
DONT try and fight for justice

My son comes to just a few weeks ago , he works in a political party but not a political role , he has had a woman come to him and ask to put in a bullying complaint because she was too scared to
It weighed heavily on him as he thought the manger in question was very toxic and a handful of female staff had quit citing similar reasons

My advice was to leave as soon as he could , pick your battles and this was not one , the right to bully is a core value of that place and you can die trying to change it , for your sake go and do t look back

This had cone on the back of another messy situation in that workplace

My advice was look for the exit door and critically important don’t let them live rent free in your head

I’ll get people can say I’m a coward and are teaching my kids to be cowards

Comments ?

Absolutely the right advice. Don't rage quit but find a better place to work as soon as possible. You're on a hiding to nothing trying to change those people or workplaces regardless what is said. Someone close to me did this just a month ago and says the relief is amazing even though the new role has its challenges.
These people get inside your head and damage you. Leave.

 

[caesar88]

Hmm people liking but not contributing

Here’s one for people to comment
I have twins that are now late 20s
The girl landed what looked like a good job in a hospital only to find out she had a toxic micro manager as a boss , a week into the job a team mate quit with no job to go to because she couldn’t stand the manager anymore , my advice to my daughter was to leave , look for a job elsewhere , your well-being is to important
DONT try and fight for justice

My son comes to just a few weeks ago , he works in a political party but not a political role , he has had a woman come to him and ask to put in a bullying complaint because she was too scared to
It weighed heavily on him as he thought the manger in question was very toxic and a handful of female staff had quit citing similar reasons

My advice was to leave as soon as he could , pick your battles and this was not one , the right to bully is a core value of that place and you can die trying to change it , for your sake go and do t look back

This had cone on the back of another messy situation in that workplace

My advice was look for the exit door and critically important don’t let them live rent free in your head

I’ll get people can say I’m a coward and are teaching my kids to be cowards

Comments ?

Nothing cowardly about looking after yourself and your loved ones. An unhealthy/toxic work environment can be so emotionally and mentally draining that it can spill into other aspects of your life. That speaks to your point about not letting people live in your head rent-free. Once you're thinking about it while at the shops, while filling up your car, while walking the dog, etc. then you have let them in, and you have let them win.

Regarding people liking comments but not contributing, that is OK. People can share as much or as little as they feel comfortable sharing, even if that is nothing. But this thread is simply here to exist if anyone ever chooses to, and thank you for doing so. Hopefully things work out for your kids.

 

[Madas]

Over the past 12 months or so I’ve had more than a few chats with my adults sons about mental health type issues , they are 29 , 32 & 34
For young adult males many if not all run into trouble with grog , drugs or gambling and the prevalence is frighteningly common

We know of two guys in their 30’s have ruined their lives thru gambling , that might sound like a throw away. , but one involved drawing down big amounts from a mortgage to play pokies and casino gamble , of course marriage split turmoil in broader family , he seems like he might be tracking ok but it has ruined his life and another case a guy , non drinker totally absorbed by pokies and sports betting , has zero to his name , marriage break up , took deposits on jobs and didn’t buy the materials , gambled instead , he has multiple court cases being brought against him so has fled the country

These more extreme cases need professional help not a chat over 5 or 6 schooners
For these two cases I’d rate the people as very decent but they have an illness

There is a third case where the guy has gone off the rails with all 3 , he owes a lot of money to a lot of people and one being the ATO so I suspect jail time there . I don’t rate his morale compass as too great before he got into trouble

The message I’d put out there is if we have family , friends or work colleges needing help we encourage and support them seeking professional help and don’t let it feel like a stigma

Gambling is a scourge

 

[anotherletdown]

Hmm people liking but not contributing

Here’s one for people to comment
I have twins that are now late 20s
The girl landed what looked like a good job in a hospital only to find out she had a toxic micro manager as a boss , a week into the job a team mate quit with no job to go to because she couldn’t stand the manager anymore , my advice to my daughter was to leave , look for a job elsewhere , your well-being is to important
DONT try and fight for justice

My son comes to just a few weeks ago , he works in a political party but not a political role , he has had a woman come to him and ask to put in a bullying complaint because she was too scared to
It weighed heavily on him as he thought the manger in question was very toxic and a handful of female staff had quit citing similar reasons

My advice was to leave as soon as he could , pick your battles and this was not one , the right to bully is a core value of that place and you can die trying to change it , for your sake go and do t look back

This had cone on the back of another messy situation in that workplace

My advice was look for the exit door and critically important don’t let them live rent free in your head

I’ll get people can say I’m a coward and are teaching my kids to be cowards

Comments ?

Why waste energy spinning your wheels. I think you're encouraging your kids to value themselves, the absolute right path to take. Nothing cowardly about it.

I've watched a family member of mine pretty much hollow themselves out because of not acting early enough. I barely recognise them now and they have such a long way back to full health, it's tragic really.

 

[Ceehook]

update
my daughter left that job over 12 months ago and is very happy in the new job, she got out quick enough to not be too scared
my son discussed the bullying issue in the workplace, probably within ear shot of the wrong people , he then had to meet with an organisation head and a lawyer and was offered an exit package , no he's not his Richard Myles office , I think with some time to process he is relieved , although not directly affected he didn't like what he saw and will be glad to leave

 

[Kiama Chris]

update
my daughter left that job over 12 months ago and is very happy in the new job, she got out quick enough to not be too scared
my son discussed the bullying issue in the workplace, probably within ear shot of the wrong people , he then had to meet with an organisation head and a lawyer and was offered an exit package , no he's not his Richard Myles office , I think with some time to process he is relieved , although not directly affected he didn't like what he saw and will be glad to leave

Sounds as if things are working out.

 

[caesar88]

This post randomly came up on my Instagram feed one day. It's been quite a comfort to return to on my low days, because it felt eerily autobiographical, but actually gave me a lot of solace knowing my individual experience was actually a shared experience by many.

It's funny how they seem like such common sense symptoms of depression when you're more removed from them, but when you're deep in it it feels like you're the only person in the world doing these things just to cope.

 

[bedford]

I'm not good and cover up

 

[Kiama Chris]

I'm not good and cover up

Take care mate.

 

[SwansProudly]

I'm not good and cover up

 

[Choogler]

sadly, in my personal experience, we don't recognise, or it isn't apparent, when people are struggling with their mental health and my friend and bro-in-law is no longer with us because nobody, including his family or friends saw any change. The most important thing is educating, particularly males, that there is no stigma or shame to admitting one is struggling and to just confront or handle it as you would cancer or a toothache, or any other medical issue, by seeking the best medical advice/treatment possible.
Educating people to see the subtle signs is also important!

 

[Mister B]

Hmm people liking but not contributing

Here’s one for people to comment
I have twins that are now late 20s
The girl landed what looked like a good job in a hospital only to find out she had a toxic micro manager as a boss , a week into the job a team mate quit with no job to go to because she couldn’t stand the manager anymore , my advice to my daughter was to leave , look for a job elsewhere , your well-being is to important
DONT try and fight for justice

My son comes to just a few weeks ago , he works in a political party but not a political role , he has had a woman come to him and ask to put in a bullying complaint because she was too scared to
It weighed heavily on him as he thought the manger in question was very toxic and a handful of female staff had quit citing similar reasons

My advice was to leave as soon as he could , pick your battles and this was not one , the right to bully is a core value of that place and you can die trying to change it , for your sake go and do t look back

This had cone on the back of another messy situation in that workplace

My advice was look for the exit door and critically important don’t let them live rent free in your head

I’ll get people can say I’m a coward and are teaching my kids to be cowards

Comments ?

Indeed at times, the right move is to walk away, because being right won't be enough to keep you for the nastiness of others.

A number of years ago I had to make the call to walk away from a school I taught at. A school with an amazing community with parents who supported their kids and backed me as a teacher to be doing the right thing. The new principal that came in was an individual that talked the talk but couldn't walk the walk. Promised the world and delivered nothing. Because of this, she saw anybody that was capable as out to get her and set about trying to throw us under the bus. In a school of 17 staff and 124 students, she had 13 leave in the first year and another 6 leave the following year. School went from 124 students to 94 in the same time period.

I was gutted when I made the decision to leave but know had I stayed, despite doing my job well and to the best standard possible, she would have made it her job to ruin my career. She has a track record of doing this. There was never going to be backing from the administration either as they installed her and would look like idiots if they had to remove her within 2 years.

Still to this day I hear about the damage that was done to some of the students I left behind because of this individual and struggle with feelings of guilt for walking away to preserve my career. It's not easy, even when you know deep down you did the right thing.

 

[bedford]

I've had to put up with my son and drugs, thugs and Police from about the time of the 12 GF . Does my head in , sometimes you feel like doing something stupid , in fact quite often .
My clubs footy and cricket keep me sane with volunteer work , but then have to go home and i don't want to . Then there is the constant knee and back pain . It makes you grumpy and angry , but then i love my friends .
I HATE DRUGS

 

[bedford]

Now my car , my work has broken down