Pretty crap stories

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The previous Friday night, I had to pick up my sister from Spencer street. Due to the lack of free car spots, I stopped my car in an empty area and chucked my hazards on.

As I was having a smoke next to my car, some random guy comes up to me, and then proceeds to asks me if I sell biccies.

So, what is a biccie?
 
DoubleO7 said:
The previous Friday night, I had to pick up my sister from Spencer street. Due to the lack of free car spots, I stopped my car in an empty area and chucked my hazards on.

As I was having a smoke next to my car, some random guy comes up to me, and then proceeds to asks me if I sell biccies.

So, what is a biccie?
Click to expand...

He was just after a tim tam...
 

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Back in year 5, we had English textbooks titled "Let's Use Better English". While we were having the end of party, one student spilled his drink all over the stack of textbooks. The smart alec of the class immediately pipes up with "Let's Use Wetter English" and we all had a good chuckle.
 
grimlock said:
Back in year 5, we had English textbooks titled "Let's Use Better English". While we were having the end of party, one student spilled his drink all over the stack of textbooks. The smart alec of the class immediately pipes up with "Let's Use Wetter English" and we all had a good chuckle.
Click to expand...

Dear god, i am 23 and i find that pretty funny, probably because I have a mate that always uses puns.
 
I believe it was year 9 at my outer SE public high school and one of my classmates pulled something out of his bag and showed me. It was a satchel of instant soup, labeled broth - Cup Of Soup style (might have been COS) and I proceeded to look at it and wonder what the fascination was. He's got this grin on his face like it was hilarious but I just couldn't get it. It must have been big because he'd gone to the trouble of bringing this from home to show me.

Finally after a few minutes of me not getting it he came out and said "Instant Brothel". yuk! yuk!

Then he tore the thing open and threw it everywhere.

Same guy once brought a box of his mum's tampons to school which we opened in language class and threw around.

Same guy brought this long fluffy tail thing which belonged to his sister. It was like from a fluffy toy but it was just a long tail. And here's the rub, it was wet and sticky and smelt - from his sister's room. All we could do was laugh in hysterics without actually saying what we were all thinking. That got thrown around too of course.
 
Sort of reminded me of a game we used to play in about grade 9. When people used to bring packs of Maggi noodles to eat dry at lunch, they would get out the little flavourymabob, pretend to trip over something, and throw it all over someone. Was a bitch to get out, and you stunk like chicken shit for the rest of the day.
 
Went and seen Machine Head earlier this year. After it finished i went to the after party in the city in which all the band members were there. There was a cover band playing songs from Megadeth, Iron Maidon and the likes....

Well, the band wanted to play a Slayer song, but the singer didn't know the lyrics, so he asked for anyone in the audience who knew the lyrics to get up on stage and have a go.

Well when the singer asked, one dude up near the back threw his hands in the air and screamed like he was on a mission. After he proceeded to get up on stage, the cover band started playing and he then whipped out his iPhone to google the lyrics.

Yep, he made a fool of himself in front of Machine Head, Hatebreed and everyone else that was there as it must of taken too long to load the lyrics from google that he didn't manage to put in one line over the mic.
 

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Jarred my right index finger badly playing basketball yesterday, has really put a damper on my regular activities. Was a real struggle draining pasta and peeling an orange.
 
Me and my mates drove up to Perth from Bunbury today, (about an hour 45 min journey), and we were playing overtakies with a 380 on the highway. So we pull up beside him, he looks out his window at us, shakes his head, speeds forward. After about the 5th time, we write on a sheet of paper "Why so serious?", hold it up against the window, and overtake him.

So, he then writes, while driving at 110kmph, "Y so slow?", holds it up against the window and overtakes us for the last time.
 
I went on a man date last night, played pool and drank beers with a guy I was introduced to and am making a conscious effort to befriend.

Unfortunately I was on fire and couldn't miss a shot, I even considered throwing a few games to keep him interested, but then I realised this would be completely homo.
 
Lance Uppercut said:
I'm tipping the homeless guy was actually Jesus, and you turned him down.

Let's hope you never win Tattslotto! You'll find it "a little too convenient" that you bought a ticket and you actually won! :p
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when i was a kid, my grandma used to take me and my sister to buy 2$ tattslotto tickets once a week. my sister would always win something like 5 bucks, 10 bucks etc, i would never win anything

so one day when she won again i cried in the shop that i never win and its not fair.

the next time we went, as i was choosing which ticket i wanted the shopkeep stopped me and said.. if i were you, i'd choose this one

obviously he saw me crying and wanted to do the nice thing and give me a winner.

however, i was too suspicious of him and went against his advice and picked another stinker :(





also

once my sister one like 800 bucks or somethin and my mum spent it on curtains. my sister still brings it up to this day lol that she owes her that 800 bucks
 
My maths teacher said bj today..

As in ak+bj+ci


At deb practise yesterday, we were doing a progressive dance and i got to my ex gf. In the dance, there's a "bop" but where you come together and bump "hips...". she swung in for quite a big bop but i rejected her. :D
 
i remember when my maths teacher said FU and the class cracked up.


good times.


my maths teacher once tried to describe algebra to us by using stripping of clothes as a metaphor, and acutally stripped his clothes. obviously not entirely but took of his jacket, then belt, then threatened to take of his pants jokingly and the class screamed lol
 
lewigie said:
Me and my mates drove up to Perth from Bunbury today, (about an hour 45 min journey), and we were playing overtakies with a 380 on the highway. So we pull up beside him, he looks out his window at us, shakes his head, speeds forward. After about the 5th time, we write on a sheet of paper "Why so serious?", hold it up against the window, and overtake him.

So, he then writes, while driving at 110kmph, "Y so slow?", holds it up against the window and overtakes us for the last time.
Click to expand...

Too good a story.

Today on the bus I rolled a cigarette just before I got off at my stop. The woman beside me had been watching me as I rolled, and I soon realised that I'd licked the wrong side of the paper. I hid the cigarette in my hand to disguise my feeble rolling attempt and I don't think she noticed.

I then proceeded to get off at my stop and roll another cigarette, licking the right side of the paper on my second attempt. I then smoked said cigarette on the way to class.
 
I experienced my first ever "miracle" shit today. For someone who has suffered IBS for the best part of a decade this is a momentous day. The way it just slid out, almost like it wasn't there, the colour, the consistency. It was a work of art
 

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