Official Match Thread S19 R3: Coney Island Warriors vs Gold City Royals at Van Cortlandt Park

[Frankston Rover]

in fairness i've been deliberately avoiding the thread in the hopes of being dropped so i don't have to play this lot.
i just got a new pair of boots and it seems a waste to christen them on the royals.

Come on, mate. What with Soggy's walls of tears, 3KZ's hilarious Frankston jokes and Tommycash's "contributions" this is "the best core bunch of posters" in the competition.

I've really been in awe of their depth and their amazing ability to engage me and make me feel inferior.

 

[Easty]

Interesting that FR isn't targeting the 2 posters who eliminated him from the Rumble...

 

[Frankston Rover]

Interesting that FR isn't targeting the 2 posters who eliminated him from the Rumble...

Meh, I actually don't mind you and Marlowe. You both remind me of me. WGS is also rather amusing at times.

The rest of your squad though are about as funny as cancer.

 

[Sydney Bloods]

Sorry I will use maths you can understand.

Question One:
Darren, Wayne and Nathan (pictured) all play for the Coney Island Warriors. It is 2 days before pension day and they want to buy a Goon Bag.
Darren stole $3.50 from his mum's purse.
Wayne found $0.20 cents on the ground at Seaford Station
Nathan Stole a T.V. set from his next door neighbors, which he sells at Cash Converters for $15.00

How much money do the boys have in total to buy their Goon Bag?

Question Two:
When the boys get to Liquorland, they find it is their LUCKY DAY. Their preferred Goon Bag is on special for $16.50. How much change will they receive if they don't shoplift the Goon Bag, but pay for it with their accumulated funds?

Question Three:
How much additional money will they have to steal if they want to buy two Goon Bags?

Answers:
Question One: $18.70
Question Two: $2.20
Question Three: $14.30

#ladygagawarriors

the premise you put forward makes no sense.
A) pension day is irrelevant to dole bludgers, they come on different days.
B) cashies always ask's for ID you never dump hot goods there, you sell it to a mate's mate.
C) nobody pays for goonbags passion pop is cheaper at just under $5.00 a bottle they can buy 3 plus the get two more that Nato and wayne can hide in their dax.

they can also afford a disposable lighter and the small bottle of dare to retrofit into a bong.

 

[Marlowe]

Post reported for being condescending to less intelligent people.

Honestly I think you'll find that the Warriors similar posting style comes from a lack of pretension. Unlike a certain group of people we don't act like we're better than others, we're not going to pretend we don't live in the gutter and we'd never deny our true nature. Some members of the Royals can't do this. They mock "the Bay 13 team", when they have made hundreds of posts there, some that were deemed to violent and offensive even for Bay 13. Get off your high horses Royals, you are not an elite club, you are nothing special, and acting like you are already means you will never get there.

Pretension comes with the job and purple sash, you pleb. Yeah, that's right, I wear a sash - that's just how pretentious I am.

The highlighted part I have singled out because I think you are on the right track but I would like to criticise it anyway. First, I think in that context, you can do away with the "some", and just say Soggy, and maybe Juggs. Does Juggs post on the Bay? It seems like he might have at one point. But anyway. You don't need to generalise us any more than we need to generalise you - that is to say, we generalise you enough for the both of us. Second, I think what you really needed to get at with the "high-horse" comment was to underline just how similar the Sweet FA and Bay 13 are. Now, I don't personally read the Bay, but the perception I have of it is that it is the lowest common denominator type stuff, while the Sweet FA, in my opinion, is strictly one notch above the lowest common denominator. Sure, I would prefer to think of this place, when at its best, as some good ol' high-brow fun and a great outlet for some excellent creative writing, but lately, that is becoming less and less true with every passing day as we devolve into a cesspool probably more reminiscent of the Bay. And I am sure the Bay has its high-brow moments, too. But at the end of the day, they're both clique-y little subculture niches with their own custom brand of humour that's been built over time. Criticising one of the other is redundant.

Still. You can tell us to get off our high-horse if you want, but I prefer to cling to whatever declining standards we have left, real or imagined. It helps to remind people what they can achieve if they strive to remove themselves from the gutter.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

Destroyed? You made yourself look like a neurotic plonker. Which you seem to do with alarming regularity.

The fact was the Warriors had more posters in the top 50 than most clubs but you had to get your knickers in a twist.

Since that day you've spent most of your time tagging me in posts and mentioning my name at every opportunity. The fact is you're envious, you have your knickers in a twist and you're doing your utmost to attempt to take down the Royals. You even spent ample time in the rumble discussion pleading with ClarkeM to eliminate Marlowe.

It's a pity that 3 of those 6 Warriors in the top 50 only received one solitary vote, and that was from yourself.

***NEWSFLASH***
Former player rates old club a "good bunch of blokes".

Wow, you'd have thought that???

Why the need for acceptance, Soggy? I don't care what people think of me or my club but you certainly do.

That's why you spend most of you time trying to defend them and their antics, that's why you outlined above how many of them made the top 50.

You care and you're also having trouble coming to terms with their inadequacies.

You'll also care when the majority lose interest and return to their humble confines of the Bay soon enough and you become even more irrelevant in this league.

It's like you crave respect on here... Marlowe has it, Wise Guy Sam has it but why not Son of God...

I wonder.
Is that it?

You mean by spending my time pissing people off, they still respected me enough to vote me the 4th best poster in the league... including yourself.

Nobody's buying your grudge Bradbury Rover.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Pretension comes with the job and purple sash, you pleb. Yeah, that's right, I wear a sash - that's just how pretentious I am.

The highlighted part I have singled out because I think you are on the right track but I would like to criticise it anyway. First, I think in that context, you can do away with the "some", and just say Soggy, and maybe Juggs. Does Juggs post on the Bay? It seems like he might have at one point. But anyway. You don't need to generalise us any more than we need to generalise you - that is to say, we generalise you enough for the both of us. Second, I think what you really needed to get at with the "high-horse" comment was to underline just how similar the Sweet FA and Bay 13 are. Now, I don't personally read the Bay, but the perception I have of it is that it is the lowest common denominator type stuff, while the Sweet FA, in my opinion, is strictly one notch above the lowest common denominator. Sure, I would prefer to think of this place, when at its best, as some good ol' high-brow fun and a great outlet for some excellent creative writing, but lately, that is becoming less and less true with every passing day as we devolve into a cesspool probably more reminiscent of the Bay. And I am sure the Bay has its high-brow moments, too. But at the end of the day, they're both clique-y little subculture niches with their own custom brand of humour that's been built over time. Criticising one of the other is redundant.

Still. You can tell us to get off our high-horse if you want, but I prefer to cling to whatever declining standards we have left, real or imagined. It helps to remind people what they can achieve if they strive to remove themselves from the gutter.

Piss off Marlowe. This is exactly the bullshit that ruins a thread because what YOU consider 'funny' and 'witty' is never going to align with everyone else. We are happy to play along with the "we are better than you" jocularity and if you actually READ the thread, you'll see much of the humour has come from us.

If you really think this is hi-brow posting, then you truly are beyond help:

Frankston Rover getting all up in my face. So I'm a shit poster and so is Son of God. We'll be crying all week.

Ok Royals, many of you wouldn't be aware of the Canary Island Warios and their habitat, so I'll endeavor to guide you as best I can on the exact location of the ground.

Canary Island is located in the middle of the Bay amid a plethora of homophobic inhabitants and creatures who are sexually deprived and frustrated. The many species who roam the Island get their kicks out of degrading women with their faux pas macho image and reside in conditions of filth and squalor. It's believed that many of their players from last season have been duly incarcerated and replaced with replicas.

I advise you all to leave your wives and kids at home for their own safety.

They're fondly known as the canaries for their distinct yellow color, a color well renowned for cowardly acts both on and off the field. As you can see from the recent team photo, qooty is lost in their glow.

The leader of the club goes by the alias of Wario. A distinct figure who wears the color with pride.

When asked about his expectations in match threads at the beginning of the season, he had this to say: 'Well, we certainly don't want to make people think, now do we? That would be horrible. Imagine if everyone started thinking. Before long, we may have some intelligent people around, and that would be horrible!'

He's be known to back down from a challenge and often displays his cowardly traits, the traits designed to reflect the clubs image and motto. Those traits have had a flow on effect on almost all of the rest of the side, so much so they a few team members uttered these recent comments when confronted with the challenge of taking on Royals heavyweight Son of God... hey guys that's me.

Now Royals there is one Canary that stands out from the crowd, he hasn't been painted with the same brush, and he goes by the name of El Dubya. He's literally the black duck of the group, build with sterner stuff and able to withstand pressure when confronted. It'm led to believe that he's not a part of the habitat nor is he one of the family. Watch out for him guys, he's their only Danger. You'll see him around, he's hard to miss, so handle with care.

Based on the above Royals, we'll have no trouble getting our second win of the season on the board, and should finish the game with barely a scratch.

The sad thing is, you actually think what you are writing is true when the fact remains it's your boys who are posting juvenile, boring, unfunny crap.

Wake up to yourself.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Since that day you've spent most of your time tagging me in posts and mentioning my name at every opportunity. The fact is you're envious, you have your knickers in a twist and you're doing your utmost to attempt to take down the Royals. You even spent ample time in the rumble discussion pleading with @CarkeM to eliminate Marlowe.

How many times have I posted in your Team Thread again?
How many times have I posted in Match Threads that don't relate to my team?

It's a pity that 3 of those 6 Warriors in the top 50 only received one solitary vote, and that was from yourself.

Not from me they didn't. Get your facts right.

That's why you spend most of you time trying to defend them and their antics, that's why you outlined above how many of them made the top 50.

You care and you're also having trouble coming to terms with their inadequacies.

I've said before, as long as they don't break the site rules my players can post however they want.

We're here to have fun. If that involves making you cry over and over again, so be it.

You'll also care when the majority lose interest and return to their humble confines of the Bay soon enough and you become even more irrelevant in this league.

Haha, dealing in maybes and whatifs doesn't make it true. If only you were thought of as such a knob, you might have been able to recruit some of these guys...

You mean by spending my time pissing people off, they still respected me enough to vote me the 4th best poster in the league... including yourself.

The voting asked for people who impact the league. Of course a serial melter was going to be included.

 

[Marlowe]

Piss off Marlowe. This is exactly the bullshit that ruins a thread because what YOU consider 'funny' and 'witty' is never going to align with everyone else. We are happy to play along with the "we are better than you" jocularity and if you actually READ the thread, you'll see much of the humour has come from us.

If you really think this is hi-brow posting, then you truly are beyond help:

I think I just said all that.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

Frankston Joke #348

Any chance we could get something original or, heaven forbid, funny?

You could always use the word 'melt' again, or better still you could resort back to sexual innuendo and take offence when you're called out on it by admin.

How about telling everyone how you've smashed us in this thread, or even point out posting numbers.

You've spent the majority of this thread crying and taking offence at

How many times have I posted in your Team Thread again?
How many times have I posted in Match Threads that don't relate to my team?

I done that for one simple reason, and it's worked judging by the tears flowing down your cheek.

Not from me they didn't. Get your facts right.

I have my facts straight. You even spent time in the committee room pleading for Lord_Peaheart to be included in the All-SFA team, much to the bemusement of the other captains who simply don't rate him.

You say I'm irrelevant but where was I placed in your top 50? Further proof that I've rattled your cage recently. If you like I can open the door and let you fly away in the breeze.

I've said before, as long as they don't break the site rules my players can post however they want.

We're here to have fun. If that involves making you cry over and over again, so be it.

That's the thing though, they are breaking site rules, then they made a mockery of the situation with constant ridicule to hide their embarrassment and narrow mindedness.

Haha, dealing in maybes and whatifs doesn't make it true. If only you were thought of as such a knob, you might have been able to recruit some of these guys...

Lol. Yep I'm sure every other team will come knocking on their door at the end of the season... don't worry you're safe from poachers.

Not to mention the disappearance of half your squad from last season proves my point.

The voting asked for people who impact the league. Of course a serial melter was going to be included.

No and No. Try again with facts.

 

[Frankston Rover]

I think I just said all that.

" Now, I don't personally read the Bay, but the perception I have of it is that it is the lowest common denominator type stuff, while the Sweet FA, in my opinion, is strictly one notch above the lowest common denominator. Sure, I would prefer to think of this place, when at its best, as some good ol' high-brow fun and a great outlet for some excellent creative writing, but lately, that is becoming less and less true with every passing day as we devolve into a cesspool probably more reminiscent of the Bay. "

You directed that at a Warrior player with the implication that it was us that was doing the devolving.

I'm telling you that you better start looking in your own backyard to the two Bay13 rejects in Son of God and Juggalo Balla who seem to be posting large slabs of pus and if you want to post this type of thing again maybe slot it into your team thread.

 

[3KZ is Football]

the premise you put forward makes no sense.
A) pension day is irrelevant to dole bludgers, they come on different days.
B) cashies always ask's for ID you never dump hot goods there, you sell it to a mate's mate.
C) nobody pays for goonbags passion pop is cheaper at just under $5.00 a bottle they can buy 3 plus the get two more that Nato and wayne can hide in their dax.

they can also afford a disposable lighter and the small bottle of dare to retrofit into a bong.

Thanks Sydney Bloods. This is clearly an area of expertise for you.

 

[Frankston Rover]

You could always use the word 'melt' again, or better still you could resort back to sexual innuendo and take offence when you're called out on it by admin.

How about telling everyone how you've smashed us in this thread, or even point out posting numbers.

You've spent the majority of this thread crying and taking offence at

I done that for one simple reason, and it's worked judging by the tears flowing down your cheek.




I have my facts straight. You even spent time in the committee room pleading for Lord_Peaheart to be included in the All-SFA team, much to the bemusement of the other captains who simply don't rate him.

You say I'm irrelevant but where was I placed in your top 50? Further proof that I've rattled your cage recently. If you like I can open the door and let you fly away in the breeze.




That's the thing though, they are breaking site rules, then they made a mockery of the situation with constant ridicule to hide their embarrassment and narrow mindedness.





Lol. Yep I'm sure every other team will come knocking on their door at the end of the season... don't worry you're safe from poachers.


No and No. Try again with facts.

Yep, this is what we come here for.

Irrelevent comments harking back to All SFA selection??? Really?

Move on champ.

Might be time to let your Co-Captain know that he's a dickhead, Marlowe.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

" Now, I don't personally read the Bay, but the perception I have of it is that it is the lowest common denominator type stuff, while the Sweet FA, in my opinion, is strictly one notch above the lowest common denominator. Sure, I would prefer to think of this place, when at its best, as some good ol' high-brow fun and a great outlet for some excellent creative writing, but lately, that is becoming less and less true with every passing day as we devolve into a cesspool probably more reminiscent of the Bay. "

You directed that at a Warrior player with the implication that it was us that was doing the devolving.

I'm telling you that you better start looking in your own backyard to the two Bay13 rejects in Son of God and Juggalo Balla who seem to be posting large slabs of pus and if you want to post this type of thing again maybe slot it into your team thread.

You're still tagging me in posts despite not directly engaging.

You are rattled, and it's another Warios defeat at the hands of the Royals as a result.

 

[Marlowe]

You directed that at a Warrior player with the implication that it was us that was doing the devolving.

That was directed at my views on the league in general, not the Warriors. I actually think BigJoeD is the only player to have created the most recent, genuinely interesting thread. I mean, have you read any of the Bears' threads this season? No. Good. Don't.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

Yep, this is what we come here for.

Irrelevent comments harking back to All SFA selection??? Really?

Move on champ.

Might be time to let your Co-Captain know that he's a dickhead, Marlowe.

Those comments are very relevant since you seem to assume your players are rated highly in this neck of the woods.

 

[Stronzo]

Son of God

 

[Frankston Rover]

You're still tagging me in posts despite not directly engaging.

You are rattled, and it's another Warios defeat at the hands of the Royals as a result.

LOL, I'm hardly rattled. I'm trying to drag this thread back to something that resembles a Match Thread.

Unfortunately your obsession with us is not allowing you to do the same thing.

Lift your game.

That was directed at my views on the league in general, not the Warriors. I actually think BigJoeD is the only player to have created the most recent, genuinely interesting thread. I mean, have you read any of the Bears' threads this season? No. Good. Don't.

I wouldn't worry about the Bears. I'd be more concerned with this train wreck of a thread.

What a horrendous advertisement for the game this is.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Those comments are very relevant since you seem to assume your players are rated highly in this neck of the woods.

Says the bloke who reckons they have the best core posters in the competition...

Please. Give us something we can banter with that doesn't revolve around you giving yourself oral.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

LOL, I'm hardly rattled. I'm trying to drag this thread back to something that resembles a Match Thread.

Unfortunately your obsession with us is not allowing you to do the same thing.

Lift your game.



I wouldn't worry about the Bears. I'd be more concerned with this train wreck of a thread.

What a horrendous advertisement for the game this is.

Your sooking in the 'club power ranking' thread suggests otherwise.

Time to pass the Bradbury baton onto someone else.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

Says the bloke who reckons they have the best core posters in the competition...

Please. Give us something we can banter with that doesn't revolve around you giving yourself oral.

Not 'reckon,' I've already proved we have, which is what you're having difficulty accepting.

 

[Frankston Rover]

Your sooking in the 'club power ranking' thread suggests otherwise.

Time to pass the Bradbury baton onto someone else.

Sooking? Just posting my opinion.

I don't think your posters, in this Match Thread at least, have been any good.

Please feel free to quote the best your boys have offered up to prove me wrong.

Not 'reckon,' I've already proved we have, which is what you're having difficulty accepting.

No, that's your opinion.

See how this works?

In my opinion your teams efforts in this thread have been childish, humourless and boring.

 

[Marlowe]

I wouldn't worry about the Bears. I'd be more concerned with this train wreck of a thread.

What a horrendous advertisement for the game this is.

Pairing the Royals against the Warriors is the literary equivalent of paring Metallica with Lou Reed for an album. It will suck, it will give you a headache, it will make you question life. That was always a given. This will, hopefully, never be used as an advertisement.

 

[Jhye Clark 13]

Sooking? Just posting my opinion.

I don't think your posters, in this Match Thread at least, have been any good.

Please feel free to quote the best your boys have offered up to prove me wrong.

You mean your unhealthy obsession with trying to change the 'opinion' of somebody else who rates the Royals more relevant than your mob?

No, that's your opinion.

See how this works?

In my opinion your teams efforts in this thread have been childish, humourless and boring.

So you keep saying which is rather ironic in itself. You have the right to your 'opinion,' and I have the right to tell you how ****ing stupid it is.

Oh so I've offended you with my 'opinion?' You should read the ones I keep to myself.

 

[Stronzo]

Oh so I've offended you with my 'opinion?' You should read the ones I keep to myself.

Are they the ones where you're wanting to stab people?

You don't always keep them to yourself tbh.