Official Match Thread S30 - Round 6 Sin City Swamprats vs Baghdad Bombers at Underground Stadium

[Sparkle]

Thanks dad.

No worries glad to help brighten up the evening with a ripping joke

 

[Firestarter]

No worries glad to help brighten up the evening with a ripping joke

I'm going to bed so I needed something to put me to sleep.

 

[Sparkle]

I'm going to bed so I needed something to put me to sleep.

If you're looking for something to read to put you to sleep, last weeks match thread would be a good start

 

[Sparkle]

Settle down turbo. You’re the only competitor so far

Well, the way things are heading I might wind up winning by default. The two sweetest words in the English language!

 

[Firestarter]

If you're looking for something to read to put you to sleep, last weeks match thread would be a good start

I'll just watch a NM match. Should nod off within 8 minutes. (****ing hate my team.)

 

[Sparkle]

I'll just watch a NM match. Should nod off within 8 minutes.

Eight minutes? Gee, I'd have thought five minutes would do the trick with a North Melbourne match

 

[Firestarter]

Eight minutes? Gee, I'd have thought five minutes would do the trick with a North Melbourne match

I get angry within 3.

 

[MITS]

 

[philreich]

Well it looks like these vegan campaigners have gone and burned themselves out by going too hard with only gum leaves in their guts for energy. Now what happens? Do we just wait for them to rest up and then get ready for another 2 hour burst?
philreich tell us another dad joke at least.

Come on dude - can't we even have a break for dinner?

Eileen and her husband Bob went for sex counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the last 25 years they had been married. She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra and massaged her breasts thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow. Eileen stood there stunned, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week, can you do this?"

Bob thought for a moment and replied, "Well I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but I play golf on Fridays..."

 

[philreich]

edgie Far Kern LukeParkerno1 Leviathan Pie Kirkswan projectv GotTheGoodes Quadzilla Rich the babe Evans sataris Plugger35 akkaps jackster83 MannumPower Sparkle Nunez GremioPower haydo SarahSmiles ant555 Firestarter Ant Bear Power Raid
Cmon guys. Today’s the day for opposites. Adelaide won, my ex was nice to me, surely one of you can keep the theme going and post something entertaining

My mate works in a nursery, and on a recent freezing Friday in Adelaide, a customer walks in and says, "Geez it's almost as cold as my ex wife's heart." Ouch!!!!!

 

[MITS]

 

[Santoz]

My mate works in a nursery, and on a recent freezing Friday in Adelaide, a customer walks in and says, "Geez it's almost as cold as my ex wife's heart." Ouch!!!!!

Hahahahahahahaha

 

[philreich]

Why was my ex calling you? She was nice to me as well.

A guy at work says to me one day, "Do you have any naked photos of your missus?"

I shake my head, and then he says, "Well would you like some?"

 

[MITS]

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, "Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies, "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

 

[Santoz]

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads, "Cheese Sandwich: $1.50; Chicken Sandwich: $2.50; Hand Job: $10.00." Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering," whispers the man, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies, "Well, go wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

No tomato thanks miggs

 

[Kilroy]

I'm just here for the afterparty.
You know the one I mean.

There’s two for you to choose from. One will have good food and drinks, music, women and drugs ....

That would be the Sunday night disco in the Rats den.

Amirite, ant555 ?

 

[Kilroy]

What would you rather me say? Milk on the rocks? Pepsi? Chai tea?

 

[TheCoach16]

Half of your team hasn’t shown up and of those that have, a glass of cows milk and a piece of chicken would fu** a few. Then half of what’s left will go into hiding once the TheCoach16 turns up and flexes a bit of muscle. Sounds like your team is hard as fu** and almost rattle proof.

Great call, MITS. When I get stuck in I’ll have these clowns running for cover! I’ve brought down bigger than...

Than...

Wait. Who are we playing?

 

[Kilroy]

Can confirm - my missus reckons I'm as sharp as a bowling ball.

She could be onto something.

 

[jackster83]

Crows finally won a game and I am slightly drunk right about now. What a time to be alive!

 

[Kilroy]

Yep, I smell a rat too.

 

[Kilroy]

Crows finally won a game and I am slightly drunk right about now. What a time to be alive!

Mate, you're not even trying. Are ya?

 

[Kilroy]

That show was so good, they just ruined it extending it for no fu**en reason. fu**en Carl

 

[GotTheGoodes]

Well it looks like these vegan campaigners have gone and burned themselves out by going too hard with only gum leaves in their guts for energy. Now what happens? Do we just wait for them to rest up and then get ready for another 2 hour burst?
philreich tell us another dad joke at least.

Uhhhh... 2 hours is a pretty long time (to be here with you lot). We are the reigning premiers ffs. We do what we want, when we want.

 

[Kilroy]

When I get stuck in I’ll have these clowns running for cover! I’ve brought down bigger than...

Wait. Who are we playing?

Anytime. Anywhere. Anyone, mate.

- One of the new guys