Tonga Bob
Getting warmer
- Oct 26, 2013
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Welcome to Heritage Round!
Of course we all know that the first qooty clash between the Gumbies and Mount Buller was in round 9 of season 4 (in the days when the Gumbies lived in downtown Geetroit). In that match the Dees were victorious – 18.12 (120) to 13.10 (88), an overture of a victory. Of the two teams that ran out that day, I only recognise Deestroy’s name. Apparently LeBron James was dropped from the Gumbies team. Sad.
But while qooty results can come and go, I’m here today to tell you about the actual origin story behind these two teams are facing off in Heritage Round, as opposed to tell you about teamsheet timeframes which you all know by now. Please consider…
The Q Men: First Class
At a boarding school in Mount Buller many years ago, young manangatang is separated from his parents by overzealous staff. The child's desperate mind remarkably bends a metal gate until a teacher knocks manangatang unconscious. Principal Headless, who has observed this through a window, calls manangatang up to see him. While making a friendly chat, he places a metal coin on a desk, he orders manangatang to use his animal magnetism to move it. When manangatang cannot, despite his best efforts, Headless shoots and kills manangatang's mother in front of him. In his rage, manangatang's out-of-control magnetic personality kills the two guards and destroys two rooms, to Headless's delight.
Around this same time, in Gumbania County in Sweet, a young Barrybran meets a young, shape-shifting girl named DenieD in his family's mansion, disguised as his mother, who is looking through the fridge for food. Barrybran accuses his "mother" of being an impostor, and asks what it has done with his real mother, as she would not make him a sammich or hot chocolate, at which point, DenieD shifts back to her normal, blue-skinned form. Overjoyed to meet someone else "different" like him, he says she can come live with his family.
In Sweet in the story’s present-day of 2004, manangatang forces a banker (by ripping out one of the metal fillings in his mouth cos he's an absolute f*cken hard arse) to trace a bar of ClarkeMonies to Headless's address in Shea. In a tavern there patronized by former Demon soldiers, manangatang kills three men as he learns that Headless has a yacht in the Straits of Dire. Meanwhile, in Sweet, Wazzamatta University graduate Barrybran is publishing his thesis on mutation; his foster sister DenieD, a waitress, lives with him. Simultaneously in the Outback District, CIA agent GWS Goose follows Army Colonel DemonJim into the Hellfire Club, where she sees Headless, Proper Gander, Tarkyn_24 and Callums_Guns. After Headless threatens DemonJim, Callums_Guns disappears with the officer; moments later he is in the War Room, advocating that Mount Buller install nuclear missiles in Old Town.
Headless meets with Colonel DemonJim on his yacht, and refuses to give DemonJim his money, at which point DemonJim pulls out a grenade and threatens to pull the pin, but Headless takes the grenade and pulls the pin himself, and absorbs the blast (at which point we now learn that Headless is a mutant, and absorbs energy, which also keeps him young), then taps DemonJim, expelling the grenade's energy into the Colonel, blowing him up.
GWS Goose seeks Barrybran's advice on mutation, and takes Barrybran and DenieD to the CIA to convince the chief that Headless is a threat. After convincing them that mutants exist they are to be taken to a covert facility, but first Barrybran tracks down Headless. manangatang attacks Headless, and when Headless escapes in his submarine manangatang tries to stop him, but Barrybran stops him so that he does not drown. manangatang joins Barrybran and DenieD at the CIA facility, where they meet Riviat, another mutant that Barrybran accidentally outs. Riviat and Barrybran use a prototype Bropro to locate mutants and recruit several of them to train to stop Headless. Upon the recruiting process, we also see Barrybran and manangatang walk up to Ned_Flanders (Wol-diddly-olverine) in a bar and introduce themselves. Ned swears at them, and they walk off.
Headless plans to meet with a Russian general, but sends Proper Gander instead, who is then captured by Barrybran and manangatang. The facility is attacked by Callums_Guns, Tarkyn_24 and Headless, with all the guards being killed. Headless recruits cooney and kills Rodney Dangerfield by forcing him to ingest a massive amount of respect. When manangatang and Barrybran return they begin to train the mutants, though DenieD is conflicted about hiding her natural form.
President NaturalDisaster institutes a blockade. Headless travels with the Demon fleet to ensure that the missiles get to Gumbania. Barrybran, GWS Goose and manangatang fly to the blockade to stop the fleets from engaging. Headless uses a nuclear core to charge himself up and a helmet to block Barrybran's telepathy. While Callums_Guns kills the crew of the Gumby missile ship, Barrybran uses his powers to make a Sweet ship destroy the missile ship before it crosses the line.
manangatang pulls Headless's submarine from the water, but an attack forces the jet and submarine to crash. manangatang finds Headless and removes his helmet and Barrybran takes control of Headless. manangatang puts on the helmet, then kills him by slowly forcing the coin that Headless taunted him with through his brain.
The two fleets fire their missiles at the mutants, but manangatang, now fully in control of his abilities, holds the missiles in the air, then turns them on the fleet. In the ensuing fight Barrybran manages to distract manangatang, but when GWS Goose fires at manangatang he deflects the bullets, with one paralysing Barrybran. Enraged of his friend's paralysation, manangatang attempts to strangle GWS Goose using his abilities but Barrybran convinces him to stop.
manangatang takes DenieD, cooney, Tarkyn_24 and Callums_Guns and says a goodbye farewell to Barrybran before he leaves. Barrybran, now confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life, and the mutants return to the mansion, where he will open a school. beez is caring for him, and she promises never to tell the location of the school, but Barrybran does not find her to be reliable so he erases her memory while kissing her. manangatang breaks Proper Gander out of the CIA headquarters, and in his new uniform he tells Proper Gander to call him Mananganeto.
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HEADLESS FACT 
