Official Match Thread Season 38, Round 01: Dragons FFC v Las Vegas Bears at Ljp86's Lair

[Art Vandelay_]

Matera92

Formal protest launched. Sim committee posting non-official game code. No way is he a star.

Remedy sought: immediate 4pts awarded to LVB Matera declared a witch and burned at the stake.

 

[Millky95]

Happy debut SSSSSS

Happy 150 Cap

Let's ****ing go

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

My body is... vastly underprepared.

 

[Millky95]

My body is... vastly underprepared.

Off season is never long enough

 

[JoseMourinho]

He'd didn't need to make it a convertible double decker. There was a perfectly good side road NEXT to the bridge.

yeah but it was over the height limit.

 

[T2B_]

Game day bitches!

 

[Cap]

It's going to be won in the ruck today

 

[MWPP]

Conditions for the this match will be MUDDY

Thanks Wosh
This is clearly all your fault Muddiemoose

 

[T2B_]

Muddy can't be good for the Bears fur. Expect them to be weighed down and slow for most of the match

 

[Cap]

Happy debut SSSSSS

Happy 150 Cap

Let's ****ing go

Something about the name SSSSSS makes me feel Dragons should be worried

 

[Cap]

Muddy can't be good for the Bears fur. Expect them to be weighed down and slow for most of the match

We usually use Dragon skin to wipe ourselves down.

A bit like after taking a shit in the woods

 

[Cap]

My body is... vastly underprepared.

 

[Test Tickle]

Happy debut SSSSSS

Happy 150 Cap

Let's ****ing go

and don't bloody stop!

 

[Millky95]

and don't bloody stop!

Never stop

 

[Art Vandelay_]

We better be playing Lasso's Lagoon formation today. Give me the 50 and feed me snags.*


*Figuratively and literally.

 

[Millky95]

We better be playing Lasso's Lagoon formation today. Give me the 50 and feed me snags.*


*Figuratively and literally.

Ain't doing shit that former prick said

 

[Bonz]

Alright Bears, it's time to kick off the season with a bang! We're heading to Dragon Island to face those fire breathers. It's Cap's 150th game for the club, so let's make it one to remember. And we've got SSSSSS making his debut, let's give him a proper Bears welcome on the field.

Here's the game plan:
Forwards: Imagine the ball is a donut. Go after it like you’re Homer Simpson on a sugar high.
Defense: Channel your inner bear. Relentless, fearless, and maybe a little crazy.
Midfield: Think of yourselves as ninjas. Silent, swift, and striking fear into the hearts of Dragons.
Interchange: Treat it like musical chairs. Keep the tempo high, and if you miss your cue, you’re sitting in the dragon’s lair.
​

Ok Dragon's I will break down their game plan for you.

Forwards: Homer doesn't move well, even to get a doughnut. We do have to be wary about him potentially selling his soul for one, but that shouldn't affect them chasing the ball.
Defence: To become an actual bear (in the man sense) they will be dressing in leathers which don't allow great mobility, also a high chance of amyl nitrates on the pitch, this should lead to disorientation. Our biggest worry for the forwards is me joining in.
Midfield: Ninjas are barely seen, think the contested ball is ours crew. They will have a few surprise moments, but we should be able to dominate out of the centre.
Interchange: Will wear themselves out playing musical chairs, no need to worry about high impact subs.

 

[Bonz]

My body is... vastly underprepared.

Conditions are muddy.

Think move of us are happy for a little mud wrestling instead of high intensity running today.

Build into it nice and slow.

 

[Bonz]

Greenery do we have budget for an extra hire in my massage parlour, I um.... Have some ideas.

 

[Bonz]

Muddy can't be good for the Bears fur. Expect them to be weighed down and slow for most of the match

Seperate note from the game, bears legitimate like taking mud baths

Particularly in summer as it helps cool them down.

 

[T2B_]

Seperate note from the game, bears legitimate like taking mud baths

Particularly in summer as it helps cool them down.

Cool so at the very least they'll be lazy and complacent

 

[Cap]

Seperate note from the game, bears legitimate like taking mud baths

Particularly in summer as it helps cool them down.

Let's not gloss over how nice it makes our skin

 

[Bonz]

Let's not gloss over how nice it makes our skin

Of course!

No need for collagen when you have mud baths!

 

[Bonz]

Cool so at the very least they'll be lazy and complacent

Wait, did Greenery water log our field on purpose?

 

[Chipmunk]

Wait, did Greenery water log our field on purpose?

He wasn’t using water