Arts & Humanities The Things That Make You Sad Thread

[MITSUHIRATO]

In my 37 years, I've lived in 14 houses off the top of my head.

Thats a rate of change every 2.5 years?

Have they always been in the same general area?

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Thats a rate of change every 2.5 years?

Have they always been in the same general area?

Three country towns as a kid then in the Eastern/South Eastern suburbs of Melbourne from about aged 10 to now.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

My parent's house - the family home - which mum and dad bought in 1981, and I spent 29 years of my life in, is on the market.

Too big for my mum to maintain now since my dad died. It's for the best but it's still sad.

My grandmother's house was sold during covid after she died. Spent over a decade of my life there.
Went back a couple of months later and the roses she'd planted and cared for for well over 40 years were gone. Truly saddening to see.

 

[MatthewB]

In my 37 years, I've lived in 14 houses off the top of my head.

That sucks, moving all the time, in my 49 years I've lived in 7 houses

 

[Chief]

That sucks, moving all the time, in my 49 years I've lived in 7 houses

Yeah I think I am at about 9. Maybe ten counting one I don't remember from early childhood.

Actually... 11. No! 13.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

That sucks, moving all the time, in my 49 years I've lived in 7 houses

My dad worked in radio when I was a kid, that moved us around a bit. Then my parents split up and I was bounced around from house to house for a while. It really was disconcerting.

 

[raskolnikov]

Without counting exactly I've lived in about 20. My current house that I've been in for 10 years now is the longest I have lived in the same house.

 

[Roobs321]

8 houses before leaving home

next few young adult years my letter address changed very frequently

beyond that another 8 places to now.

5.5 years is my record, been close a few other times. Even within that 5.5 I had a bedroom change about halfway through. Lived 5+ years in 4 states. Lived in multiple regions in all those states as well, especially Victoria with four that were each a few hours apart. None of my immediate relatives (born all over) have currently lived the majority of their life in their birth state.

 

[RU_]

.. and the relationships done.

Pretty devastated as it’s hitting home now.

In a self absorbed way, I’m angry and upset as it feels like I’ve invested so much time, money and effort into something that’s ended when the good part was supposed to begin. Financially supported her through university for 4 years, bought a house in an area that I didn’t like so that we could afford to get her dogs from a previous relationship and basically funded any trips and holidays during this period. She had a small mishap with one of the dogs that ended up with a home insurance claim against me as the mortgage is only in my name, and through all of these things I have remained supportive, never gotten angry and provided support and reassurance that the future will be better once she’s done with university.

University finishes, we are earning good money as a couple and she calls it quits after 6 months. Basically feel like I’ve invested the last 5 years into something that’s just folded and I get nothing out of it.

Now I have a mortgage that’s going to be a struggle to afford, in an area that I don’t like and have to go through the hassle of selling and trying to secure somewhere else to live. If I decide to buy again, I’ve got an home insurance claim against my name for something that had no real relation to me, which isn’t going to affect her in any way and the rental market is currently ****ed. Meanwhile she’s going to a perfect situation where a friend is breaking a lease and she can just up and shift. She’s said she’s going to try and financially support me through this as she knows I did it to help, but we’ll see how that goes as she has a lease to pay for.

In a weird way though, she said she has to do what’s best for her and I completely understand that and wish her the best for the future.

This really hurts though. I feel like all I have gotten out of this is life lessons. Hopefully young RU_ has learnt a thing or two over the last ~5 years.

Also just realised this is a hell of a vent, well done if you made it to the end.

 

[Gralin]

.. and the relationships done.

Pretty devastated as it’s hitting home now.

In a self absorbed way, I’m angry and upset as it feels like I’ve invested so much time, money and effort into something that’s ended when the good part was supposed to begin. Financially supported her through university for 4 years, bought a house in an area that I didn’t like so that we could afford to get her dogs from a previous relationship and basically funded any trips and holidays during this period. She had a small mishap with one of the dogs that ended up with a home insurance claim against me as the mortgage is only in my name, and through all of these things I have remained supportive, never gotten angry and provided support and reassurance that the future will be better once she’s done with university.

University finishes, we are earning good money as a couple and she calls it quits after 6 months. Basically feel like I’ve invested the last 5 years into something that’s just folded and I get nothing out of it.

Now I have a mortgage that’s going to be a struggle to afford, in an area that I don’t like and have to go through the hassle of selling and trying to secure somewhere else to live. If I decide to buy again, I’ve got an home insurance claim against my name for something that had no real relation to me, which isn’t going to affect her in any way and the rental market is currently ****ed. Meanwhile she’s going to a perfect situation where a friend is breaking a lease and she can just up and shift. She’s said she’s going to try and financially support me through this as she knows I did it to help, but we’ll see how that goes as she has a lease to pay for.

In a weird way though, she said she has to do what’s best for her and I completely understand that and wish her the best for the future.

This really hurts though. I feel like all I have gotten out of this is life lessons. Hopefully young RU_ has learnt a thing or two over the last ~5 years.

Also just realised this is a hell of a vent, well done if you made it to the end.

All I can say apart from sorry is that having ended a relationship after an engagement and having seen friends end relationships after marriage.....

It's not always meant to be and how long and how much you put in can never change that.

Whether you end it or have it ended on you it still sucks and is hard and there is no such thing as a good time for it to happen.

It's going to hurt and be tough and you're going to be upset about stuff but you're also going to have the opportunity to meet new people now and go into a new phase and you've learned some things about what does and doesn't work for you for your next relationship whenever that may be

 

[rocker_oz33]

.. and the relationships done.

Pretty devastated as it’s hitting home now.

In a self absorbed way, I’m angry and upset as it feels like I’ve invested so much time, money and effort into something that’s ended when the good part was supposed to begin. Financially supported her through university for 4 years, bought a house in an area that I didn’t like so that we could afford to get her dogs from a previous relationship and basically funded any trips and holidays during this period. She had a small mishap with one of the dogs that ended up with a home insurance claim against me as the mortgage is only in my name, and through all of these things I have remained supportive, never gotten angry and provided support and reassurance that the future will be better once she’s done with university.

University finishes, we are earning good money as a couple and she calls it quits after 6 months. Basically feel like I’ve invested the last 5 years into something that’s just folded and I get nothing out of it.

Now I have a mortgage that’s going to be a struggle to afford, in an area that I don’t like and have to go through the hassle of selling and trying to secure somewhere else to live. If I decide to buy again, I’ve got an home insurance claim against my name for something that had no real relation to me, which isn’t going to affect her in any way and the rental market is currently ****ed. Meanwhile she’s going to a perfect situation where a friend is breaking a lease and she can just up and shift. She’s said she’s going to try and financially support me through this as she knows I did it to help, but we’ll see how that goes as she has a lease to pay for.

In a weird way though, she said she has to do what’s best for her and I completely understand that and wish her the best for the future.

This really hurts though. I feel like all I have gotten out of this is life lessons. Hopefully young RU_ has learnt a thing or two over the last ~5 years.

Also just realised this is a hell of a vent, well done if you made it to the end.

Chin up mate .

Sometimes money and ex's don't mix .
Hope she pays you back..

 

[Frank Bunn]

She didn't have to stoop so low. Have her friends collect her records and then change her number.

 

[Gralin]

She didn't have to stoop so low. Have her friends collect her records and then change her number.

 

[RU_]

Having not been in many serious relationships, I’m assuming that amicable endings are harder?

I still love her to bits and am just upset and confused that she won’t ‘exhaust all options - I.e counseling’ after everything we have been through and put into this relationship.

I feel like if someone cheated or something like that, it would be emotionally easier, but have never been through it.

She has asked if I want her to pay me back, and I’ve told her I don’t. I said from the beginning that I’ll support her through the years of university and I’m a genuinely supportive person, so the rest of the items were second nature to me. I have told her that I just feel robbed in a self absorbed way. So much put in to leave with essentially nothing.

Ah well.

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

Sorry to hear that RU_ , it sounds really tough for you right now

I hope you have some good people in your corner to keep you company while you figure out what’s next in your life x

 

[Off The Couch]

Weird random question, but did she take the dogs

 

[RU_]

Weird random question, but did she take the dogs

We put the other one down not long after the incident.

She will be, but works FIFO a few days a week and hasn’t worked out how to make that situation work, so I’ve said I’ll look after the dog temporarily.

I’m my own worst enemy, I know.

 

[Off The Couch]

We put the other one down not long after the incident.

She will be, but works FIFO a few days a week and hasn’t worked out how to make that situation work, so I’ve said I’ll look after the dog temporarily.

I’m my own worst enemy, I know.

It’s a nice gesture but it won’t be helpful in the long term and it is her dog after all and time to take some ownership and sort it herself

 

[seaweed]

Things that have made me a bit sad but only as I’ve gotten older.

Not having a family (due to abuse of various kinds) makes it hard for me on days like fathers/mothers day and Christmas. I have wonderful friends who invite me over for Xmas but I’d be lying if it didn’t sting a bit sometimes seeing their families all getting around eachother on special occasions, because I’ve never understood what that felt like and now that I’m a bit older I wish things were different sometimes.

I’m not in a relationship (almost on the verge of never wanting another one) and I don’t want kids, so I’ve started wondering what the heck happens to me when I get older. Who is going to look after me if I needed care? What do I want to happen to my body when I pass on?

It doesn’t really play on my mind all that much, only on days like today. And it does hurt.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Things that have made me a bit sad but only as I’ve gotten older.

Not having a family (due to abuse of various kinds) makes it hard for me on days like fathers/mothers day and Christmas. I have wonderful friends who invite me over for Xmas but I’d be lying if it didn’t sting a bit sometimes seeing their families all getting around each other on special occasions, because I’ve never understood what that felt like and now that I’m a bit older I wish things were different sometimes.

I’m not in a relationship (almost on the verge of never wanting another one) and I don’t want kids, so I’ve started wondering what the heck happens to me when I get older. Who is going to look after me if I needed care? What do I want to happen to my body when I pass on?

It doesn’t really play on my mind all that much, only on days like today. And it does hurt.

I have a number of childless and partner-less friends who I think about too. I don't know how old you are but it's never too late to find someone, I've seen it happen. Maybe when you aren't even looking. Keep your social life going, look after your physical and mental health, stay involved. Pets make wonderful companions too. And also look after your finances.

 

[Beerfish]

If I decide to buy again, I’ve got an home insurance claim against my name

I know it's small bananas against everything else you've got going on but if there's a tiny silver lining it's that this isn't really a thing and I don't think you need to worry about it affecting anything. People make insurance claims all the time.

 

[Frank Bunn]

I'm thinking this thread is where Paul Kelly gets all his lyrics from.

 

[Billy ray]

Im high on the hill
Looking over the bridge
With an insurance claim

And way up on high
The clock on the silo
Says no need to feel blame

I remember

 

[Pakenhamsaint]

I've only been in 3 different houses in 32 years. I would like it to be 4 but being single on a slightly below median wage makes it hard even with all the savings I've built up.

Can't exactly say my love life is roaring to boot.

 

[rocker_oz33]

Im high on the hill
Looking over the bridge
With an insurance claim

And way up on high
The clock on the silo
Says no need to feel blame

I remember