Things that sh*t me the fifteenth part

[Gralin]

Thread has been rolled over to Part 16 here

Things that sh*t me the sixteenth

The Previous thread is located here https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/things-that-sh-t-me-the-fifteenth-part.1266206/

www.bigfooty.com

 

[phantom13]

We did a will when our son was born. It’s not a pleasant convo but it is a necessary one.

I do think kids arguing over it whilst parents are still living is pretty distasteful

 

[phantom13]

My wife and I told my in laws to spend it all, sell them house, travel the world, don’t leave anything behind. You earned it now enjoy it

 

[gaskin]

They shouldn't be challengeable anyway. It is up to the dead person what happens with their stuff and if you feel you got shafted then too ****ing bad.

 

[cats_09]

Spend your own money on yourself as quickly as possible. My FIL lived very frugally because he wanted to leave his money to charity. Family didn’t enter his thoughts. He did have Alzheimers towards the end but was functional. His solicitor wouldn’t let him cut family out of his will, TG. Fwiw, we did urge him to buy the new TV, get the damned car fixed, and get someone in to fix up the garden.

We have another friend, single lady, who doesn’t want to update her home because she wants to leave her money to her nephews. They have their own parents, and good jobs, ffs!

Not quite the topic, but hey.

I've previously worked for a not-for-profit in the fundraising section & worked closely with our Community Liaison officer - while we only worked together for a few years, they had 28 years in a similar role at another not-for-profit before we worked together, so they really knew their shit

Other than the obvious of making sure to get the message out there about the importance of having a Will, he also made sure to explain to others that even if there's a member of your immediate family (ie: child - especially adult children) you aren't as close to or where you believe you have supported them to a sufficient extent during your life, don't totally cut them out of the Will as that can create numerous issues that become complicated for other beneficiary's. He said the best option was to ensure they were included in the Will, even for a nominal amount but make sure it's explained it's been done - while not impossible to contest, it makes it a lot harder

And he shared some horror stories regarding Wills being contested & that ultimately the easiest option is to settle out of the court before it costs all parties too much money, even when it's situations that you shake your head at & think there's no leg to stand on

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

I've previously worked for a not-for-profit in the fundraising section & worked closely with our Community Liaison officer - while we only worked together for a few years, they had 28 years in a similar role at another not-for-profit before we worked together, so they really knew their sh*t

Other than the obvious of making sure to get the message out there about the importance of having a Will, he also made sure to explain to others that even if there's a member of your immediate family (ie: child - especially adult children) you aren't as close to or where you believe you have supported them to a sufficient extent during your life, don't totally cut them out of the Will as that can create numerous issues that become complicated for other beneficiary's. He said the best option was to ensure they were included in the Will, even for a nominal amount but make sure it's explained it's been done - while not impossible to contest, it makes it a lot harder

And he shared some horror stories regarding Wills being contested & that ultimately the easiest option is to settle out of the court before it costs all parties too much money, even when it's situations that you shake your head at & think there's no leg to stand on

Yes, that happens. FIL had a long and trusting relationship with his solicitor and his will was made when his wife was still alive and they worked it out together. They were a bit worried about another branch of the family challenging and took care to include some of them. When he suggested making changes, during his cognitive decline, the solicitor just said, you worked it out with your wife and she wouldn’t have liked you to change it.

 

[Scotland]

People talking about this kind of stuff are gross. Imagine pre-planning for what you're going to do with the money/assets when your parents die.

The pre-planning discussion needs to involve the person whose will it is. Absolutely gross to be planning the extension to your house or the ski trip to Europe when nanna is in the nursing home.

It's a bit of a morbid topic of conversation but my old man is pretty open about it. When both parents are off the perch then the kids get an equal share and there is a nominated executor. You can argue about what's 'fair' but if everything is clearly documented and known it makes life easier in that regard.

Where I've seen it get ugly (second hand only, never directly impacted) is where there either isn't a will or the will is unclear (i.e. 5 beneficiaries get a house to share between them) and also when people die fairly young and there are arguments between children and step parents, de facto partners etc.

Even though my old man is a pain in the arse boomer who got a massive head start asset wise that the generations either side didn't I'm still of the belief that saving money for your kids' inheritance is dumb. Sure if you've got $1m in the bank you don't nee then give it to me now when I can really use it, but don't put off trips or eat cat food or whatever so in 20 years time I'll be a few bucks better off.

 

[GreyCrow]

I gave all my money and property to exes before I died - saved so much hassle

 

[Cruyff14]

Yeah when my dad died he left everything to mum. Mum has left everything to me and my wife and if I go, my wife gets it.

With a child on the way we will definitely get a will.

 

[Caesar]

My wife and I told my in laws to spend it all, sell them house, travel the world, don’t leave anything behind. You earned it now enjoy it

That is all well and good, but the reality is that most families are putting themselves behind if they don’t leverage wealth and spread risk integenerationally

The tax system in particular encourages parents and children to work together and use each other as wealth vehicles - taking advantage of things like CGT exemptions on main residences, tax free thresholds for children and retirees, concessional super rules, zero tax on inheritance, and being able think longer term than a specific person’s lifetime

 

[phantom13]

That is all well and good, but the reality is that most families are putting themselves behind if they don’t leverage their wealth integenerationally

The tax system in particular encourages parents and children to work together and use each other as wealth vehicles - taking advantage of things like CGT exemptions on main residences, tax free thresholds for children and retirees, concessional super rules, and zero tax on inheritance

It can sometimes be pretty unhealthy for families emotionally, but hard to resist when both parties stand to benefit financially. I’m not proud of it, but a lot of my own financial security is thanks to the fact that Dad lent me my 20% deposit as soon as I had a job stable enough to secure a mortgage.

I don’t begrudge anyone getting a hand from their parents (I used to resent rich kids but I grew up pretty poor so it was more a chip on my shoulder). My wife and I already have a savings account for our son hoping to get it to 50k in a few years then diversify it.

Ultimately if they choose to leave some behind then great but our point to them was that none of the kids have earned that money and they shouldn’t bank in that money. Her parents were talking about not enjoying it at all (buying a smaller property than they want, not travelling etc) I think that’s shit. It’s their money they should enjoy it and after that’s done if there’s some left over great. If you’re expecting or relying on money in a will I think you’re pretty cooked.

 

[Caesar]

Ultimately if they choose to leave some behind then great but our point to them was that none of the kids have earned that money and they shouldn’t bank in that money. Her parents were talking about not enjoying it at all (buying a smaller property than they want, not travelling etc) I think that’s sh*t. It’s their money they should enjoy it and after that’s done if there’s some left over great. If you’re expecting or relying on money in a will I think you’re pretty cooked.

I guess what I am saying is that the line between ‘their money’ and ‘the family’s money’ can get a little blurred (unless your parents came from poverty or something)

Part of my brother’s issue is that dad came from a more affluent background than mum, and now mum effectively controls everything he left. We’re not even talking big money but my brother definitely feels a sense of family entitlement to money and heirlooms on account of being a descendent of my grandfather.

A lot of it is probably tied up in his poor relationship with mum, his identity as dad’s son and in general missing dad. But on some level… who’s to say he’s wrong? If your family have been passing stuff down to benefit the next generation since time immemorial, on some level you can argue there’s a moral obligation not to break the chain.

Sorry, I am aware the last few posts have been a little jumbled… it is something I have been dwelling on recently and this discussion seemed like a good opportunity to sort out my own thoughts

 

[phantom13]

I guess what I am saying is that the line between ‘their money’ and ‘the family’s money’ can get a little blurred (unless your parents came from poverty or something)

Part of my brother’s issue is that dad came from a more affluent background than mum, and now mum effectively controls everything he left. We’re not even talking big money but my brother definitely feels a sense of family entitlement to money and heirlooms on account of being a descendent of my grandfather.

A lot of it is probably tied up in his poor relationship with mum, his identity as dad’s son and in general missing dad. But on some level… who’s to say he’s wrong? If your family have been passing stuff down to benefit the next generation since time immemorial, on some level you can argue there’s a moral obligation not to break the chain.

Sorry, I am aware the last few posts have been a little jumbled… it is something I have been dwelling on recently and this discussion seemed like a good opportunity to sort out my own thoughts

Yeh... id say that is messier than my situation (for clarity its my wifes family, im estranged from my family). Parents are totally self made, as far as im concerned (and my wife agrees) whatever they have is theirs not their kids, they worked incredibly hard to get it and they should enjoy it. If there is some left over when its all done, so be it (should note, in theory they should live another 20-30 years so even having a discussion this far away especially when they have a will and executors is just pointless).

I think it might just be a point of difference in opinion but regardless of it being generational wealth or earned wealth its not yours. If you are lucky enough to be born into wealthy families and can have stuff paid for then good luck to you but assuming you get x when your folks or family die is just a terrible way to live your life IMO.

 

[MatthewB]

I've never brought up the subject with the old man, he remarried 20 years ago and I assume everything will go to her, that's fine, just hope he leaves me his wine and his record collection

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Yeah when my dad died he left everything to mum. Mum has left everything to me and my wife and if I go, my wife gets it.

With a child on the way we will definitely get a will.

It's simpler if there is only one child. But you need to think about who gets it if the child goes before his/her spouse and if you like them enough for them to get everything - although by then you will be past caring, lol. Trusts for grandchildren can be considered too.

 

[Billy ray]

I gave all my money and property to exes before I died - saved so much hassle

I’ve paid for my house twice so my boys are definitely getting it when i die of the heart attack that the will come when the SUNS make the finals

 

[GreyCrow]

I’ve paid for my house twice so my boys are definitely getting it when i die of the heart attack that the will come when the SUNS make the finals

I think you're good for a couple of decades

 

[BuddysBiggestFan]

Dickheads on the train that watch videos with the volume turned up for everyone else to hear.

The world is full of morons.

 

[mr bagcroft]

Dickheads on the train that watch videos with the volume turned up for everyone else to hear.

The world is full of morons.

God I ****ing HATE that !!

 

[the_interloper]

Dickheads on the train that watch videos with the volume turned up for everyone else to hear.

The world is full of morons.

Even worse for those who do a speaker phone conversation on the train

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Even worse for those who do a speaker phone conversation on the train

A city tramload sat through a business phone call conducted at top volume. Dead silence except from this d-h. Everyone looking everywhere but at him.

 

[craigos]

A city tramload sat through a business phone call conducted at top volume. Dead silence except from this d-h. Everyone looking everywhere but at him.

I swear these people think they're some Jordan Belfort or something.

Mate, you're on public transport like the rest of us, sit down and shut up.

 

[Gough]

I swear these people think they're some Jordan Belfort or something.

Mate, you're on public transport like the rest of us, sit down and shut up.

At least people don't loudly proclaim themselves to be "on the train" like they used to when mobiles first started gaining popularity.

 

[phantom13]

Saw a PSO actually tell a dude to turn his phone off loudspeaker the other day on the train. First time ive been grateful for them.

 

[Alberto_Magnifico]

Personalised number plates.
I always try to twist the word/s into a disparaging slur about the driver for my own amusement.

 

[RedmanWasHere]

+1 to hating music on PT and +1 for hating a loud phone conversation.