Things That Shit Me (AFL edition)

[Soft Ball Get]

So, you're going to be an umpire.

How much training do you think you'll have to do?

No more than what I already do. Its junior footy not AFL

 

[Marc_Remillard]

No more than what I already do. Its junior footy not AFL

So you have absolutely no idea what's required

It shows

 

[Soft Ball Get]

So you have absolutely no idea what's required

It shows

To umpire a JUNIOR game of footy? I've seen 50 year old dudes with guts hanging over their shorts umpire games without a problem. I think I'll be fine.

 

[Marc_Remillard]

To umpire a JUNIOR game of footy? I've seen 50 year old dudes with guts hanging over their shorts umpire games without a problem. I think I'll be fine.

Keep up kid, i'm talking about AFL

 

[Soft Ball Get]

Keep up kid, i'm talking about AFL

Me keep up? I said I was going to be an umpire. Who mentioned AFL?? Not me...

 

[Marc_Remillard]

So in the OP you were describing what you saw at a junior game?

 

[Soft Ball Get]

So in the OP you were describing what you saw at a junior game?

What drugs are you on???

 

[Marc_Remillard]

What drugs are you on???

It's clear that you have nfi of what's required to be an umpire at AFL.

Go to sleep kid, i can't be bothered with you

 

[Soft Ball Get]

It's clear that you have nfi of what's required to be an umpire at AFL.

Go to sleep kid, i can't be bothered with you

I'm not wanting to umpire in the AFL ya **** smack. I haven't once questioned the fitness levels required to umpire a AFL. But what they do during a game is not high intensity therefore they don't need to carry on with their pre game antics.

 

[bombersbackyard]

i cant stand some of these players haircuts... not sure if they look at themselves in the mirror before they head out.

tyrone vickery, tom hickey, pittard, big ben brown, dustin martin, so many offenders in the GWS team

robbie gray and dangerfield have nice haircuts

 

[Established1870]

tyrone vickery, tom hickey, pittard, big ben brown, dustin martin, so many offenders in the GWS team

You lost me after you said those two

 

[SuperSub17]

Commentators (such as Dennis this afternoon) trying to be clever and saying "space between he and the goal".

It's HIM. It sounds stupid when you say it because it's wrong.

 

[Soft Ball Get]

i cant stand some of these players haircuts... not sure if they look at themselves in the mirror before they head out.

tyrone vickery, tom hickey, pittard, big ben brown, dustin martin, so many offenders in the GWS team

robbie gray and dangerfield have nice haircuts

Maybe the AFL should have 7 or 8 styles that players must conform to ala North Korea.

 

[bombersbackyard]

You lost me after you said those two

Maybe the AFL should have 7 or 8 styles that players must conform to ala North Korea.

especially if we are trying to venture into China.. imagine a chinese person seeing the game for the first time and he's not even focused on the football.. all hes focused on is big ben browns luscious locks as he runs in from 50

 

[telsor]

To umpire a JUNIOR game of footy? I've seen 50 year old dudes with guts hanging over their shorts umpire games without a problem. I think I'll be fine.

Having umpired before, you're not entirely wrong, but it would depend on 2 things.

Do you want to be any good? If you do, you might need to run a bit harder to try and get in the best position to see the play and make decisions.

How 'junior' are these games? Obviously 9 year olds will be easier than 12 year olds, will be easier than 15 year olds, etc.

When you bounce the ball and one of the little fekkers gets a clearance, runs 20m (with a bounce) then kicks it another 30 to a contested mark in the goal square, how far off the pace will you be, and what will you miss in that contest?

 

[Soft Ball Get]

Having umpired before, you're not entirely wrong, but it would depend on 2 things.

Do you want to be any good? If you do, you might need to run a bit harder to try and get in the best position to see the play and make decisions.

How 'junior' are these games? Obviously 9 year olds will be easier than 12 year olds, will be easier than 15 year olds, etc.

When you bounce the ball and one of the little fekkers gets a clearance, runs 20m (with a bounce) then kicks it another 30 to a contested mark in the goal square, how far off the pace will you be, and what will you miss in that contest?

All good questions. None I can answer though until I've got games under my belt. Most junior games (14 and above) have two field umpires so getting into the right position is a matter of experience, not fitness.

 

[telsor]

All good questions. None I can answer though until I've got games under my belt. Most junior games (14 and above) have two field umpires so getting into the right position is a matter of experience, not fitness.

Trust me, it's both.

And some of those little bastards can really run.

 

[Soft Ball Get]

Trust me, it's both.

And some of those little bastards can really run.

You're implying I've never seen a game of junior footy before.

 

[telsor]

You're implying I've never seen a game of junior footy before.

Not at all, I'm sure you have, but seeing and doing are often different things.

BTW. Well done for giving umpiring a go.

 

[TheKanga]

Listening to Dwayne Russell try to make a 40-point difference in a game sound exciting and thrilling. Last week's North vs Port was the worst game I've ever heard from the commentary box; Ziebell kicked a goal with only 8 minutes left to make it IIRC 33 points the difference and he tossed up his usual "and he breathes some life" or "They're still in it!". No, the game was over at quarter time. North are the only team who could have blow that lead (Patrenko) but instead they were the team that were down. You are the utmost most annoying bloke of all time, Dwayne.

I hate it when Derwayne says ''AND HE DUMPS HIM'' not Derwayne it was just a tackle...

 

[Soft Ball Get]

Another thing that really shits me. The clueless twats who will inevitably be sitting near you who constantly squeal 'kick it!' after a succession of three or four handballs.

 

[Mitchell Madness]

Commentators (such as Dennis this afternoon) trying to be clever and saying "space between he and the goal".

It's HIM. It sounds stupid when you say it because it's wrong.

He and the goal
The goal and him

 

[NathanMX]

Luke Darcy can be real annoying when he refers to players by their nicknames or like they are his best mate or something. Look Luke, nobody likes ya, not even Jobe Watson

 

[AstonSouffle]

All good questions. None I can answer though until I've got games under my belt. Most junior games (14 and above) have two field umpires so getting into the right position is a matter of experience, not fitness.

You've got to be shitting me, I can tell you right now how I cover the ground when I umpire at junior level has shitloads to do with my speed(I know I'm fast). If a major free kick is paid, or even a mark in the fifty the requirement to get there is akin to almost teleporting and that's at junior level. I couldn't even fathom high level state let alone AFL, I have to be on my game when I do Amateur League Seniors. Why? I sure as shit won't see the free kicks if I don't get into position fast/smart enough. Not to mention you probably don't even know the effect constant playing on by players actually has on that ability to cover ground.

I take it seriously because there's a requirement that I umpire a game to the rules and laws of the game, and I have a responsibilty to players that also give up their time, effort and frankly bodies to play. I take pride in that. I ain't no hero, and I know the game isn't about me. But the game needs umpires. Yet you are flagrantly not even bothering to understand why they might need such a warmup, then jump straight to accusing them of revelling in celebrity status.

 

[Soft Ball Get]

You've got to be shitting me, I can tell you right now how I cover the ground when I umpire at junior level has shitloads to do with my speed(I know I'm fast). If a major free kick is paid, or even a mark in the fifty the requirement to get there is akin to almost teleporting and that's at junior level. I couldn't even fathom high level state let alone AFL, I have to be on my game when I do Amateur League Seniors. Why? I sure as shit won't see the free kicks if I don't get into position fast/smart enough. Not to mention you probably don't even know the effect constant playing on by players actually has on that ability to cover ground.

I take it seriously because there's a requirement that I umpire a game to the rules and laws of the game, and I have a responsibilty to players that also give up their time, effort and frankly bodies to play. I take pride in that. I ain't no hero, and I know the game isn't about me. But the game needs umpires. Yet you are flagrantly not even bothering to understand why they might need such a warmup, then jump straight to accusing them of revelling in celebrity status.

Sensitive one aren't ya? I bet you send players off if they look at you the wrong way. Please explain to me then. Help me understand why an umpire is doing high knee and A-marches before a game? And 100m sprints and walking lunges? All of this 45min before the game.