Things you do to intentionally irritate to your partner

Remove this Banner Ad

I'm not one to quote lines from movies BUT...

Has anyone seen national Lampoon's European Vacation? Rusty and his dad are at a cafe and a couple are making out and Rusty goes, "Dad, I think he's going to pork her!".

So if we're watching TV and there may be some sexual tension between some characters, I'll whip out, "I think he's going to pork her!". Once I said it speculatively (there wasn't even any chemistry between the two) and my wife told me to stop being silly. 10 mins later they're making out so I pull out the, "I think he's going to do her in teh ass".
 
Last edited:
Feels like I have a lot of contributions in this thread but anyway, another one.

Whenever we go to the movies I make sure to laugh out quite loud at a part that isn't funny, so I'm the only one laughing, it embarrasses my partner quite a bit which I find funny. I only do this once though, I don't want to annoy anyone else.
 
the_interloper said:
Feels like I have a lot of contributions in this thread but anyway, another one.

Whenever we go to the movies I make sure to laugh out quite loud at a part that isn't funny, so I'm the only one laughing, it embarrasses my partner quite a bit which I find funny. I only do this once though, I don't want to annoy anyone else.
Click to expand...


23 replies before your next one and 9 clear of 2nd.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

the_interloper said:
Feels like I have a lot of contributions in this thread but anyway, another one.

Whenever we go to the movies I make sure to laugh out quite loud at a part that isn't funny, so I'm the only one laughing, it embarrasses my partner quite a bit which I find funny. I only do this once though, I don't want to annoy anyone else.
Click to expand...
Incredible hahaha.
 
When I was with my partner, I used to just give him jibs about being Tasmanian and how Tasmania is inferior to Victoria.

He bit everytime even though he knows I love Tassie and would consider living there.
 
I tend to default to driving when the whole family is in the car. And if we're not exactly sure where we're going, for some reason she gets her phone out and puts the address into Google Maps, even though we have a GPS in the car. I'll then take the time to put it into the GPS. I asked her why she doesn't like using the regular GPS and it was something about the sound it makes.

Anyway, I do this partly to irritate her, partly because it should be the driver's choice and partly because it frigging idiotic to expect the driver to (hopefully) hear the directions from a phone in the passenger seat, as opposed to hearing the directions much louder from the speakers in the car and also seeing a map of the route which also gives you the details of the next three turns, so if you have to do two quick ones, you don't miss a turn off.

I pointedly correct her waste disposal mistakes, fishing things out of the recycling to put them in the general waste and vice versa.

I always put margarine on the kids' peanut butter toast.

Whenever I do something stupid - driving home from the supermarket with an iPad or carton of eggs on the roof, filling our diesel tank up with unleaded, that sort of thing, I do my best Simon from the Inbetweeners impression and tell her "This is the package!!!"
 
Any time either I or my partner have a sore back, I will say "you/I need a backiatomy", like that line from Half Baked. I don't think she's laughed once in 5 years from me saying it, but I do every time
 
i don't use a spoon when making my coffee, i just tip it from the jar, coffee granules sometimes get spilt and this absolutely shits my wife and she says i'm lazy for not using a spoon. she's right i am lazy but i want to perfect my coffee granule pouring from a jar too.
 
I had surgery yesterday so my wife propped me up on the couch and said that I could have complete control of the remote for the next few days

Four movies into a John Wayne marathon she is starting to regret it

I have told her The Searchers is the last one but I suspect she is not going to be any happier when I move on to Akira Kurosawa
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

I didn't do this specifically to irritate my wife, but it did irritate her just as it does when I tell inappropriate jokes. I was coaching my sons u13s footy team. Someone died. I can't remember who it was but it was a public figure rather than some kid's grandad. Anyway, the boys are putting black electrical tape around their arms as a mark of respect. I cut of a bit about 3cm in length and put in between my lip and nostril and said, "right boys, I wants 30 push ups each, right now". Most of them didn't get the joke and I thought to myself, "kids these days, they just don't seem to teach history at school anymore".
 
Chump Change said:
I didn't do this specifically to irritate my wife, but it did irritate her just as it does when I tell inappropriate jokes. I was coaching my sons u13s footy team. Someone died. I can't remember who it was but it was a public figure rather than some kid's grandad. Anyway, the boys are putting black electrical tape around their arms as a mark of respect. I cut of a bit about 3cm in length and put in between my lip and nostril and said, "right boys, I wants 30 push ups each, right now". Most of them didn't get the joke and I thought to myself, "kids these days, they just don't seem to teach history at school anymore".
Click to expand...
:/
 
the_interloper said:
Feels like I have a lot of contributions in this thread but anyway, another one.

Whenever we go to the movies I make sure to laugh out quite loud at a part that isn't funny, so I'm the only one laughing, it embarrasses my partner quite a bit which I find funny. I only do this once though, I don't want to annoy anyone else.
Click to expand...

I had a group of teenagers sitting behind me one time. I can't remember what movie it was but it was a serious movie. They giggled the whole movie. I turned around and glared at them a couple of times but they either didn't see me or didn't care. More likely the latter.
 
Feraligatr said:
When I was with my partner, I used to just give him jibs about being Tasmanian and how Tasmania is inferior to Victoria.

He bit everytime even though he knows I love Tassie and would consider living there.
Click to expand...
I do that with Queensland even though I live here. I barrack for NSW in the State of Origin so I always say, "They only let Queensland win all the time because it is such a shit place to live they have to have something".
 
Mate of mine played an awesome prank to irritate his partner. She was at the local shopping centre. He knew where she parked. Made his way to said centre. Moved her car to a location around the corner. Got back in his car and left.

Received panicked calls thereafter from partner as to her car being stolen.

Hilarity ensued.
 
peternorth said:
Mate of mine played an awesome prank to irritate his partner. She was at the local shopping centre. He knew where she parked. Made his way to said centre. Moved her car to a location around the corner. Got back in his car and left.

Received panicked calls thereafter from partner as to her car being stolen.

Hilarity ensued.
Click to expand...


Why am I picturing myself in an apartment watching this happen?
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Things you do to intentionally irritate to your partner

Similar threads

Wormkilla
What's your job and do you like it?
2
Replies
47
Views
3K
DemurePrincess
DemurePrincess
Purple7x08_24
Games & Recreation What would you do if you found X in your bag?
Replies
3
Views
495
Shell
Shell
Wormkilla
Things you once did that you now look back on and cringe
2 3
Replies
56
Views
4K
FreoGirl
FreoGirl
FreoGirl
Beauty & Style Bras n Things
Replies
10
Views
863
FreoGirl
FreoGirl
Wosh
Win Prizes Join the Sweet F.A State Of Origin Comp and Play for your State!
Replies
19
Views
1K
Wosh
Wosh
N
Society & Culture What did you buy yourself for Christmas?
2
Replies
45
Views
2K
nobbyiscool
N
Cruyff14
Social Science What do you think about?
2 3 4 5
Replies
106
Views
4K
MP_
MP_

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top