Roast We are the shittiest of shit, like REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY SHIT Warning includes club criticisms

[GreyCrow]

I guess the measure is how many are penetrating ie Smith was fantastic for a long time in utilising his kicks for distance

Dinky Crouch 1m handballs and handball receives are stat padding

 

[Chances Are]

Ben Cousins had the same claim made against him

Difference being Cousins won a flag, Harvey didn't.

 

[adelaidecrows]

Ben Cousins had the same claim made against him

Running around the back of a team mate for a pass when they have a free or take a mark is a Crouch and Laird special. So many useless possessions are gained that way especially when it goes to a team mate the original guy could have passed too.

 

[George Kramer]

We are very shit right now but a lot of that is on coaching and administration. There's quality on the list for a new coach to work with

Here's what we could be working with by the start of the 2026 season, and how many games they would be sitting on

B Michalanney [65] - Butts [100] - Worrell [55]
HB Hinge [90] - Murray [80] - Milera [120]

R (Ruck) - Dawson [150] - Soligo [80]
C Curtin [30] - Rankine [110] - Nankervis [45]

HF Rachele [80] - Fogarty [120] - Pedlar [60]
F Cook [50] - Thilthorpe [75] - Welsh [20]

I Pick 5 2024 [20]

Take your pick for another three players. Could be free agents, or players like Edwards/Ryan/Taylor/Dowling. Could also be one of the shitter players developing hugely, Schoenberg/Sholl/Hamill for example. I'm not even pencilling in ridiculous PlayStation trades, and the side isn't bad.

With a good coach they should be working with a primed, experienced list in 2026 with only a few fixes and additions in the next two player movement periods

But it MUST start with sacking the coaching panel and starting again

Not enough depth though

 

[1970crow]

Just thinking about Laird and Crouch's stats and I am reminded of Robert Harvey from the Saints now a coach. Blight came in and said let Harvey get his 30+ stats he does nothing with them. Nix the idiot thinks getting 30+ from these 2 is great football. Delusional prxxk he is.

He had to kind of backtrack on that though. When he further explained, he said that Robert Harvey went to positions to get the ball that he wouldn't want his mids going to. But it's ok for him, because he's Robert Harvey.

 

[Kane McGoodwin]

Just thinking about Laird and Crouch's stats and I am reminded of Robert Harvey from the Saints now a coach. Blight came in and said let Harvey get his 30+ stats he does nothing with them. Nix the idiot thinks getting 30+ from these 2 is great football. Delusional prxxk he is.

Blight made sure his opponent, usually Johnson was on the defensive side so Harvey couldn't cover the ground like he usually did.

Craig on the other hand would just let Harvey run loose.

 

[pjcrows]

Blight made sure his opponent, usually Johnson was on the defensive side so Harvey couldn't cover the ground like he usually did.

Craig on the other hand would just let Harvey run loose.

I've actually been lucky enough to have a chat with Blight about some aspects of the 97/98 era at a function.

Half way through 1997 he asked Stephen Schwerdt for data on which player in the squad - regardless of age, experience, height or weight - could run similar numbers to Robert Harvey (St Kilda), Scott West (Bulldogs) and Anthony Stevens (Roos) across four quarters. The answer was Kane Johnson. He'd been playing most games but mainly as a winger or across half back, pretty unaccountable. Blight said - right, train him even harder so he can negate the impact of those three players in a final.

The rest is history.

 

[Chances Are]

He had to kind of backtrack on that though. When he further explained, he said that Robert Harvey went to positions to get the ball that he wouldn't want his mids going to. But it's ok for him, because he's Robert Harvey.

Wow I must have missed that backtrack. Long time ago now.

 

[Kane McGoodwin]

I've actually been lucky enough to have a chat with Blight about some aspects of the 97/98 era at a function.

Half way through 1997 he asked Stephen Schwerdt for data on which player in the squad - regardless of age, experience, height or weight - could run similar numbers to Robert Harvey (St Kilda), Scott West (Bulldogs) and Anthony Stevens (Roos) across four quarters. The answer was Kane Johnson. He'd been playing most games but mainly as a winger or across half back, pretty unaccountable. Blight said - right, train him even harder so he can negate the impact of those three players in a final.

The rest is history.

Top story!

Sugar was one of my favourite players... given my username.

That premiership team had so many players with footy smarts... but most importantly a coach who was great strategic & matchday coach.

Unfortunately Nicks has shown he is easy of the opposition to out coach.

We should also cull a few dumb footballers too... including the 2 headless chook half forwards.

 

[pjcrows]

Top story!

Sugar was one of my favourite players... given my usernames.

That premiership team had so many players with footy smarts... but most importantly a coach who was great strategic & matchday coach.

Unfortunately Nicks has shown he is easy of the opposition to out coach.

We should also cull a few dumb footballers too... including the 2 headless chook half forwards.

He had another 1998 story too but maybe for another time as unrelated!

 

[AFC979810]

He had another 1998 story too but maybe for another time as unrelated!

Share it.

Helps lift the darkness that is discussing just how crap Mathew Nicks is.

 

[Crowstar]

So apparently the crows approached two former senior coaches to join the club as assistants and were turned down.
We aren't a destination club. We are a feeder club.
We exist to be ordinary. It's in our DNA.
Players and coaches very rarely choose us. There needs to be a reason why.

 

[George Kramer]

So apparently the crows approached two former senior coaches to join the club as assistants and were turned down.
We aren't a destination club. We are a feeder club.
We exist to be ordinary. It's in our DNA.
Players and coaches very rarely choose us. There needs to be a reason why.

Why the **** would a decent coach want to be an assistant under Nicks?

 

[jackster83]

So apparently the crows approached two former senior coaches to join the club as assistants and were turned down.
We aren't a destination club. We are a feeder club.
We exist to be ordinary. It's in our DNA.
Players and coaches very rarely choose us. There needs to be a reason why.

Dew and Rutten wasn't it?

 

[GreyCrow]

'' Hi Ben its Roo ''

'G'Day Roo how are ya'

'' Yeah yeah good Ben listen the reason for my call - you wanna come home?''

' You mean the rumours are true - ok what are we talking '

'' well we'd start off at $2fiddy and see how things go ''

' umm Roo $250k is an insult for a senior coaching job these days '

'' waaaaat maaaate you would be working under Nicksy - 2fiddy is good ''

' Oh this isnt about replacing him'

'' waaaat maaaaate he is our next premiership coach ''

click

 

[Crowstar]

Dew and Rutten wasn't it?

No idea...but I'd take either over Hombsch

 

[WeeBlake]

No idea...but I'd take either over Hombsch

Hombsch is backline right? He’s doing ok.

 

[Crowstar]

Hombsch is backline right? He’s doing ok.

He actually is in comparison

 

[Slippery Pete]

Sugar was one of my favourite players... given my username.

Probably the most underrated player in Crows history

 

[Slippery Pete]

He had another 1998 story too but maybe for another time as unrelated!

No, now!

 

[Samcro24]

He had another 1998 story too but maybe for another time as unrelated!

 

[DJ75]

Want to see how much of a joke this club is?
We have the most successful woman's team in the comp - and yet we seem to be actively down playing it.
Have a look at todays coaches announcements and tell me again that we don't go as cheap as possible at all times. Laughable.

 

[Matman23]

Dew and Rutten would have taken over as forward coach and potentially a senior assistant role. Burns would have remained backline and senior assistant.

The microscope has to be put on Scott Burns

Scott Burns

Age

49

Ht

181cm

Wt

85kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

19.2

5star

K

10.5

4star

HB

8.7

5star

M

5.0

5star

T

2.8

4star

No current season stats available

D

19.6

5star

K

13.0

5star

HB

6.6

4star

M

4.6

5star

T

3.0

5star

as well as many others.

Correct me if I’m wrong but he was in charge of the defense in the years we conceded the most points in the league. Meanwhile, the forward line was the highest scoring in the league.
Rahilly leaves, we try for Dew and Rutten to replace him. Instead Homsch is promoted to backline coach and Burns moves to forward coach.

Now our forward line looks like an absolute shambles and our backline has improved dramatically.

I’d also question how much he provides as a senior assistant.

 

[Slippery Pete]

I think he just wanted to lure in all the millennials

 

[AFC979810]

Want to see how much of a joke this club is?
We have the most successful woman's team in the comp - and yet we seem to be actively down playing it.
Have a look at todays coaches announcements and tell me again that we don't go as cheap as possible at all times. Laughable.

What did you expect for an offseason coaching announcement for the woman's team?

The last home game got 3,800 people to it. No matter how much money you throw at it the masses just aren't going to care.