Media Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 38

[Tonga Bob]

[pictured - qumpire Mike Chamberlain & philreich having a moment]

Greeting fan of officiating, I come to you with a ninth serving of Sweet's most convoluted case of number-wrangling. Yes, I'm afraid to tell you that The Free Kick Table returns for season 38. And it's a bittersweet edition this time round, as news of veteran qumpire Mike Chamberlain's decision to hang up his bias whistle filters through the competition.


[pictured with an economy of pixels - news of qumpire Mike Chamberlain's retirement filtering through the competition]

For those who came in late, here's the concept behind the Free Kick Table:

"Free kicks are a very emotive topic in football, however it seems that the 'random' nature of qootball displaces that emotion from umpires to the sim. One way to look at this is a free kick differential, which aggregates free kicks over a period of time and shows which teams receive more than others.

My Free Kick Table takes this one step further, and aggregates the impact of free kicks on a game-by-game basis to see who won the free kick count in each game. So pretty much what would happen if you replaced goals and points scored with free kicks received and conceded."

You'd imagine that there would be prizes on offer given this is a competition. Well firstly mazel tov for imagining qooty free kicks, you're down bad if this is the case. But also, yes. Yes there are prizes. Three (3) of them. The team that finishes the home and away season on top of the Free Kick Table wins the coveted Silver Whistle Trophy. And those individuals that catch the eye of the qumpires for either good or bad reasons will be in the running for individual gongs such as the Little Spoon Trophy for the player with the most free kicks received in the season or the Big Spoon Trophy for the player that concedes the most frees in the season.

What do you have to do to win these prizes? Stuff all, it's all simhoused so your involvement is simply to strap yourselves in and enjoy the ride.

LFK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!​

 

[Tonga Bob]

Here's the updated season board up from when I joined the league (ie: when the league really started) until the end of last season.


Loonerty Elton Johns Wig Robertio MP_ Millky95 Cap Pugsley StFly Bradesmaen Brick Loosener damicky moginie Wosh tigs2010 ClarkeM Senor M zackah crazywildhorse Frothies Mcveigh ​

 

[Tonga Bob]

How have the previous seasons gone? Well here let me show you.

The first recorded one is from season 29, when the Roys first saluted:



The Gumbies took out the Silver Whistle in season 30:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 30

I learned many things about the SFA last season: That it exists; That it's a community of many campaigners with many different personalities from all walks of life (and that's just TJASTA); That the sim is an evil sentient genius that, underneath its randomness has patterns that it forms; That...

www.bigfooty.com

The Roys went back to almost back to back again in season 31:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 31

*fanfare noises* Hello nerds. Welcome back here to the SFA, and welcome to our rookie group for the very first time. The municipality of Sweet is buzzing in anticipation in this the first round of season 31! There's a lot to get excited about - the banter, the camaraderie, the quality media...

www.bigfooty.com

Then the Furies got the chocolates in season 32:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 32

Hello nerds! In what has quickly become a highlight of the SFA season, Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ) is once again delighted to present to you the Free Kick Table for season 32! For those of you that are either new to the SFA or have repressed any memory of its existence...

www.bigfooty.com

In season 33 the Silver Whistle went from the hippodrome to Adbu Prison:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 33

Yo nerds, guess what? [unrealistic pause for a reply that will never come] I may be with captaincy this season, but that's not gonna stop me from getting back on my bullshit by giving you the stats that you neither requested nor craved. That's right - the Free Kick Table returns for season 33...

www.bigfooty.com

The Mount Buller Demons had their time in the sun in season 34:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 34

We're back, babey!!!!! That's right, one of Sweet's longest currently running statistically-laden media pieces is now in its fifth season as the Free Kick Table returns for season 34 thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)!!! Here's the now customary...

www.bigfooty.com

Before the Sin Citizens brought the Silver Whistle underground in season 35:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 35

You said it, Ray. I'm sure that you're pleased to find out I'll be doing my now adored and highly anticipated* Free Kick count in season 35. Six seasons deep, this piece of media buffoonery comes to you from thanks to the good person at Bob's Statistics (a division of Bob's Shitpostsᵀᴹ)...

www.bigfooty.com

In season 36 the qumpire-fuelled dynasty commenced at Coney Island:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 36

free kick (noun - /ˌfriː ˈkɪk/): in football, an opportunity to kick the ball without the other team getting involved, allowed when a player from the other team has not obeyed one of the rules. How good are rules hey nerds? They frickin' rule!!!! pun absolutely intended Welcome back to the...

www.bigfooty.com

Which then continued last season:

Media - Bob's Stats - The Free Kick Table For Season 37

We love qumpires. Like simmers, match posters, Committee members, club captains, stats collectors and Mrs Turbo the qumpires do a thankless task that is either criticised or ridiculed. But not here at Bob's Stats. Here we celebrate qumpires, and for the eighth season running Bob's Stats proudly*...

www.bigfooty.com

And finally a table showing all of the stuff above in the one table. Pocket-sized, you might say:

​

 

[Tonga Bob]

two posts

 

[Braklet]

two posts

No, four posts.

 

[crazywildhorse]

The Little Spoon is the premier award in this competition.

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

Well nerds, it's time to see what round one spat out in terms of free kick action. Here goes...



The top two all time sides unsurprisingly sit top two on the ladder after the first round of season 38, with the Warriors and Roys both enjoying seven kick margins against the Swamprats and Royals respectively. The Gumbies are third thanks to a 13-9 win over the Bombers, the Bears are fourth after overcoming the Dragons 8-6 in a match where the qumpires put away their whistles which could also be said of the Demons/Wonders match which went the way of the Delons 10-9 putting them fifth, and the Furies & Hawks were the yang to their yin as the qumpires had a field day in a 22-20 whistlefest that went the way of the Furies. Bet we see some large individual totals in this one!

Early trends see the winners in five of the six matches also winning the qooty result which gives us a pretty low average ladder variation of under three places per club, with the Bears the only side to waste a qumpiring advantage, ironically having the biggest qooty defeat (60 points) despite winning the free kick count. And only the Gumbies & Furies could call upon the affirmation noises of their home crowds to impact the qooty results.

Let's check in on the Spoons...

​

What did I tell you about the large individual totals from the Furies? It seems that Frothies Mcveigh has had either a change of position or a change in attitude, as last season's Big Spoon winner is leading the Little Spoon early doors with seven frees for. Last season's Little Spoon runner up Shueygod finds himself in the same spot again after earning six frees, while the trio of Hawk PhenomenalV1 Roy royboy2 & Warrior spudmaster are joint third on five frees for apiece.

​

And wouldn't you know it, a Furies player leads the Big Spoon as well. This time it's omgfridge on top after conceding six frees. He's not a whitegood, he's just a very naughty boy. The five frees for that PhenomenalV1 got were cancelled out by the five frees that he conceded, putting him in second place. In equal third on four frees against are perennial free kick conceder Zoops and Supersuns (good to see him still kicking). Rounding out the top five are ant555 DERRINALPHIL & Shueygod (again), each with three frees against.

There you have it, round one is in the books. See you next week with more of the same malarkey.

 

[Frothies Mcveigh]

I simply must have all the spoons.

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

Hey nerds, time to throw up some more free kick stats. Let's get it!



The Gumbies, Roys and Demons have a perfect record after two rounds with wins over the Warriors (19-11), Bears (15-10) & Deagons (17-14) respectively. The Old Boys are the other undefeated team after coming off a round one bye thanks to a 16-10 victory over the Hawks. On the other side of the ladder the losses for the Dragons and Hawks leave them with 0-2 starts to the season, along with the Bombers who copped a 11-22 hiding at the hands of the Royals (well it was mainly the qumpires but the Gold Citizens reaped the rewards). Elsewhere the Swamprats beat the Furies 17-19 while the Wonders had a bye to go with a round one loss.

Four out of six free kick winners (Gumbies/Demons/Royals/Swamprats) also won the qooty result, while only two of the home teams (Demons & OOFs) had home town crowds that positively affected their free kick counts.

[Pictured: Frothies Mcveigh retaining his Little Spoon lead]​

Frothies Mcveigh could only manage two frees for in round two to go with the seven that he got in round one, which was still enough to retain the Little Spoon lead although he now shares it with royboy2 who both have flopped their way to 9 frees for each. Four players are one free further back to share third place - BloodySwan PhenomenalV1 Scythe94 & TheInjuryFactory.

​

omgfridge coughed up another three frees in round two to sit on nine, an impressive three conceded frees ahead of Zoops who is another free kick ahead of a group of seven miscreants - ant555 Bovo Grav JoshWoodenSpoon PhenomenalV1 Scythe94 & spudmaster.

That'll do for now. I need to get going, some gangsta's dissin' my fly girl so I gotta give him one of these...

​

 

[Tonga Bob]

​

Time for another free kick update nerds. Sounds unbelievable, right Tom?



The Gumbies and Royals had the first draw of the season (13 all), which left the Demons with the only perfect record after three rounds after defeating the last of the teams with a perfect record in the Roys 20-16. The OOFs also came into round three undefeated after a win and a bye, however that was short lived as the Swamprats took them out by 24 kicks to 19. In other results the Furies beat the Warriors 14-13, the Hawks had their first win of the season against the also winless Wonders 16-11 and the Bears trounced the stone motherless Bombers 17-8 to keep the Babylonians on the bottom of the ladder.

The variation between the free kick and qooty ladders after three rounds is very low at a touch over two places, meaning the free kicks are hugely influencing qooty results. The Demons for example have perfect records in both qooty & free kicks and the Gumbies are one free kick away from the same result, while the Bombers are zero from three in both qooty and frees. In fact 9 of the 13 teams have a variance between the two tables of 2 or less.

​

Of the 20 frees that the Demons received in round 3, moginie got eight of them to come from nowhere and lead the Little Spoon count on 13. He's one ahead of royboy2 who is another one ahead of PhenomenalV1 Scythe94 Shueygod & TheInjuryFactory who all got three frees for apart from Luke who got four frees for. Last week's leader Frothies Mcveigh however doughnutted to drop out of the top 5 altogether.

​

Despite only conceding one free last week, omgfridge still holds a three kick lead in the Big Spoon. In quite the coincidence, PhenomenalV1 and Scythe94 not only got the same number of frees for (3) but the same number of frees against (2) to be equal in both Spoon counts. Here they are in joint second on 7 conceded frees, one ahead of the follow eleven campaigners - Shueygod damicky manicpie snozulu FreoGirl jackster83 Bovo tomjoad Zoops Roylion & Rappin' RonnieRaven who are all on six conceded frees after three rounds.

Back with more of my bullshit next week. Keep on kickin'!

 

[damicky]

FUN FACT:

After conceding 0 FA in the opening 2 Rounds, I gave away SIX in Round 3

 

[Tonga Bob]

FUN FACT:

After conceding 0 FA in the opening 2 Rounds, I gave away SIX in Round 3

 

[snozulu]

View attachment 2080810

View attachment 2080828​

Time for another free kick update nerds. Sounds unbelievable, right Tom?

View attachment 2080829

The Gumbies and Royals had the first draw of the season (13 all), which left the Demons with the only perfect record after three rounds after defeating the last of the teams with a perfect record in the Roys 20-16. The OOFs also came into round three undefeated after a win and a bye, however that was short lived as the Swamprats took them out by 24 kicks to 19. In other results the Furies beat the Warriors 14-13, the Hawks had their first win of the season against the also winless Wonders 16-11 and the Bears trounced the stone motherless Bombers 17-8 to keep the Babylonians on the bottom of the ladder.

The variation between the free kick and qooty ladders after three rounds is very low at a touch over two places, meaning the free kicks are hugely influencing qooty results. The Demons for example have perfect records in both qooty & free kicks and the Gumbies are one free kick away from the same result, while the Bombers are zero from three in both qooty and frees. In fact 9 of the 13 teams have a variance between the two tables of 2 or less.

View attachment 2080850​

Of the 20 frees that the Demons received in round 3, moginie got eight of them to come from nowhere and lead the Little Spoon count on 13. He's one ahead of royboy2 who is another one ahead of PhenomenalV1 Scythe94 Shueygod & TheInjuryFactory who all got three frees for apart from Luke who got four frees for. Last week's leader Frothies Mcveigh however doughnutted to drop out of the top 5 altogether.

View attachment 2080852​

Despite only conceding one free last week, omgfridge still holds a three kick lead in the Big Spoon. In quite the coincidence, PhenomenalV1 and Scythe94 not only got the same number of frees for (3) but the same number of frees against (2) to be equal in both Spoon counts. Here they are in joint second on 7 conceded frees, one ahead of the follow eleven campaigners - Shueygod damicky manicpie snozulu FreoGirl jackster83 Bovo tomjoad Zoops Roylion & Rappin' RonnieRaven who are all on six conceded frees after three rounds.

Back with more of my bullshit next week. Keep on kickin'!

Being called a campaigner by an upstanding gentleman as yourself is the best compliment one can receive.

 

[PhenomenalV1]

I aim to become the first player to top both tables.

Of course, that does mean I'm generously sacrificing my Mobbs Medal campaign out of the goodness of my heart, just so a less talented player can win it.

 

[Tonga Bob]

[Pictured - veteran qumpire Mike Chamberlain looking for the Round 4 freekick update]​

Hahahaa only took me four rounds to fall behind on this thing. Thankfully Hate was delayed in updating SweetFA+ so I was able to yoink the stats from a week ago.

Let's get to it...



The Demons and Gumbies lost their first games of the season, with the plasticine people going down 14-16 to the Furies while in the upset of the season the Delons lost to the previously winless Bombers 18-22. The Old Boys had the biggest win of the round, defeating the Warriors 12-5 in muddy conditions, the Royals knocked over the Bears 17-14, the Dragons beat the Hawks by 15 kicks to 12 and the Wonders also notched up their first win of season 38 with a 14-11 effort over the Swamprats. And Roy had a bye.

Half of the home teams won, and half of the teams that won the qooty won the free kick count. The ladder variation is still ridiculously low though, with the only outliers being the OOFs who aren't converting qumpire love to qooty wins and the Wazzas who are getting results despite being done dirty by the whistle blowers.

​

moginie has 17 frees for and has doubled their Little Spoon lead. I mean it's gone from one to two, but it's still doubled. cats_09 has rocketed to second place after picking up five frees for in round four to overtake Shueygod into second. TheInjuryFactory is fourth on 13 kicks, one ahead of royboy2 Scythe94 & snozulu to round out the top five.

​

omgfridge is still king of the thugs, retaining his three kick lead in the Big Spoon. He's on 11, with the chasing pack of cartwright jackster83 manicpie MayTheNorthBeWithU SM & tomjoad all on eight frees against.

There we go, that's round 4. I think I got away with being late, let's see if I have the same luck next week I mean this week I mean last week idk what week it is.

 

[jackster83]

View attachment 2092220

View attachment 2092224
[Pictured - veteran qumpire Mike Chamberlain looking for the Round 4 freekick update]​

Hahahaa only took me four rounds to fall behind on this thing. Thankfully Hate was delayed in updating SweetFA+ so I was able to yoink the stats from a week ago.

Let's get to it...

View attachment 2092238

The Demons and Gumbies lost their first games of the season, with the plasticine people going down 14-16 to the Furies while in the upset of the season the Delons lost to the previously winless Bombers 18-22. The Old Boys had the biggest win of the round, defeating the Warriors 12-5 in muddy conditions, the Royals knocked over the Bears 17-14, the Dragons beat the Hawks by 15 kicks to 12 and the Wonders also notched up their first win of season 38 with a 14-11 effort over the Swamprats. And Roy had a bye.

Half of the home teams won, and half of the teams that won the qooty won the free kick count. The ladder variation is still ridiculously low though, with the only outliers being the OOFs who aren't converting qumpire love to qooty wins and the Wazzas who are getting results despite being done dirty by the whistle blowers.

View attachment 2092387​

moginie has 17 frees for and has doubled their Little Spoon lead. I mean it's gone from one to two, but it's still doubled. cats_09 has rocketed to second place after picking up five frees for in round four to overtake Shueygod into second. TheInjuryFactory is fourth on 13 kicks, one ahead of royboy2 Scythe94 & snozulu to round out the top five.

View attachment 2092394​

omgfridge is still king of the thugs, retaining his three kick lead in the Big Spoon. He's on 11, with the chasing pack of cartwright jackster83 manicpie MayTheNorthBeWithU SM & tomjoad all on eight frees against.

There we go, that's round 4. I think I got away with being late, let's see if I have the same luck next week I mean this week I mean last week idk what week it is.

Proud to be grouped in with that lot of thugs.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Proud to be grouped in with that lot of thugs.

I think the correct term is 'inmates' but thugs works as well.

 

[Tonga Bob]

[Pictured - a qumpire pretending to be the Whore Tree to get a bit of lovin']​

Round five with the whistleblowers. Snitches may get stitches, but qumpires give them. Here's what happened.



The Gumbies have retaken the Silver Whistle lead after beating the Bears 19-18 while the Royals Old Boys Roys & Swamprats continue to rise up the ladder after defeating the Demons (19-16), Furies (18-12), Hawks (18-14) & Dragons (17-12) respectively; results which have sent the Demons Furies & Bears into freefall. The other result of the weekend saw the Wonders beat the Warriors 22-17.

​

moginie retains his lead in the Little Spoon, his 20 frees for seeing him three frees ahead of cats_09 with manicpie PhenomenalV1 & Shueygod a further two kicks behind in joint third.

​

And another round of omgfridge leading the Big Spoon, whose 13 conceded frees is three more than Scythe94 & Shueygod. jackster83 PhenomenalV1 Purple7x08_24 & SM round out the top five on 9 frees against.

OK cool I'm back up to date. Let's see how long this lasts aye?

 

[manicpie]

View attachment 2098030

View attachment 2098032
[Pictured - a qumpire pretending to be the Whore Tree to get a bit of lovin']​

Round five with the whistleblowers. Snitches may get stitches, but qumpires give them. Here's what happened.

View attachment 2098031

The Gumbies have retaken the Silver Whistle lead after beating the Bears 19-18 while the Royals Old Boys Roys & Swamprats continue to rise up the ladder after defeating the Demons (19-16), Furies (18-12), Hawks (18-14) & Dragons (17-12) respectively; results which have sent the Demons Furies & Bears into freefall. The other result of the weekend saw the Wonders beat the Warriors 22-17.

View attachment 2098034​

moginie retains his lead in the Little Spoon, his 20 frees for seeing him three frees ahead of cats_09 with manicpie PhenomenalV1 & Shueygod a further two kicks behind in joint third.

View attachment 2098035​

And another round of omgfridge leading the Big Spoon, whose 13 conceded frees is three more than Scythe94 & Shueygod. jackster83 PhenomenalV1 Purple7x08_24 & SM round out the top five on 9 frees against.

OK cool I'm back up to date. Let's see how long this lasts aye?

Thems the rewards for putting your head over the ball, go Royals

 

[Scythe94]

View attachment 2098030

View attachment 2098032
[Pictured - a qumpire pretending to be the Whore Tree to get a bit of lovin']​

Round five with the whistleblowers. Snitches may get stitches, but qumpires give them. Here's what happened.

View attachment 2098031

The Gumbies have retaken the Silver Whistle lead after beating the Bears 19-18 while the Royals Old Boys Roys & Swamprats continue to rise up the ladder after defeating the Demons (19-16), Furies (18-12), Hawks (18-14) & Dragons (17-12) respectively; results which have sent the Demons Furies & Bears into freefall. The other result of the weekend saw the Wonders beat the Warriors 22-17.

View attachment 2098034​

moginie retains his lead in the Little Spoon, his 20 frees for seeing him three frees ahead of cats_09 with manicpie PhenomenalV1 & Shueygod a further two kicks behind in joint third.

View attachment 2098035​

And another round of omgfridge leading the Big Spoon, whose 13 conceded frees is three more than Scythe94 & Shueygod. jackster83 PhenomenalV1 Purple7x08_24 & SM round out the top five on 9 frees against.

OK cool I'm back up to date. Let's see how long this lasts aye?

Coming for you omgfridge

 

[Tonga Bob]

[Pictured - qumpires needing security to escort them from the field after another 'mare]​

Free kick review, back in the traditional Friday 1 timeslot. Let's get it.



The Old Boys won their third free kick count in a row, this time a 19-16 win over the previously leading Gumbies. This takes them to the top of the ladder for the first time in their short yet charmed existence. They are equal on points with the all-time free kick leaders the Roys, who accounted for the Sin Citizens 18-16. The Demons and the Bears shared the chocolates with a 20-all result, the Wonders pipped the Furies 14-13, the Dragons beat the Warriors 16-11 in a result that surprises absolutely nobody and the Bombers notched their first win of the season, beating the Hawks 19-16 in the battle of the cellar dwellers.

The OOFs, Roys & Dragons were the teams that converted their free kick ascendancy into qooty wins this week while the OOFs & Roys were the only home teams that won free kick counts. But my fun fact of the week is that the Swamprats are at 100% exactly in both the qooty & free kick ladders, meaning that not only have they scored & conceded the same amount of points (572) but have also received & conceded the same amount of free kicks (99). Bet you didn't have that in your 'Did You Know' thing Falconista!

​

The flowers that moginie bought for the qumpires this week paid off, as he received 8 free kicks to extend his Little Spoon lead to six. cats_09 picked up a lazy five of his own to sit on 22 for the season, extending his grip on second spot to three kicks from philreich who also got five frees for to sit on 19 for the season. Shueygod is a further kick behind in fourth, while the trio of Millky95 PhenomenalV1 & royboy2 round out the top five as they are all tied on 17 frees for.

​

omgfridge had a quiet round, only conceding one free kick to see his Big Spoon lead shrink to a single kick as the four that jackster83 conceded sees him jump to second place. Scythe94 is third on 12 frees against, one ahead of the omnipresent Shueygod while seven different hooligans are tied in fifth place all on 10 frees against for the season - Brick Loosener MayTheNorthBeWithU p4p1 PhenomenalV1 Purple7x08_24 SM & tomjoad.

Until next week nerds...

 

[Falconista]

Bet you didn't have that in your 'Did You Know' thing @Falconista!

@cats_09 picked up a lazy five of his own to sit on 22 for the season

DID YOU KNOW?

• cats_09's pronoun is not 'his'.

 

[Tonga Bob]

DID YOU KNOW?

• cats_09's pronoun is not 'his'.

I'm merely following the rules as stipulated by the simulator, because the simulator is all knowing and all seeing.

 

[cats_09]

I'm merely following the rules as stipulated by the simulator, because the simulator is all knowing and all seeing.

All good & no offence taken

I do get a laugh out of the sim each week with its default options

 

[Tonga Bob]

All good & no offence taken

I do get a laugh out of the sim each week with its default options

Thank you cat! I also get a laugh out of the sim, more so though for the simhousery it inflicts upon me and mine.

Haha suck it Falconista he she like me!