Little things you do just to be a dick

[Scotland]

Press all the floor buttons as I get out of a lift.

People in my building go up/down one floor at a time. The building is very open plan and there are plenty of stairs. They are dicks.

 

[GOAUS!]

Push the pedestrian button three times, always.

 

[bresker]

Put fridge magnets on cars parked on my street. Always like it when I find them on the nature strip afterwards. I always need more fridge magnets.

 

[woopedazz]

Start off a joke and then let it go on and on and on and slowly drive my listeners insane with boredom, then when they start to lose interest I say "ok, ok I was just messing with you, so the man... blah blah" then I drag it out even longer. Once I am sure that they have completely lost the patience and there's no way I can possibly get them to listen for a second more I finally reach the punch line of the joke and purposefully mess it up and then say something along the lines of "no.... wait... hang on I messed that up. The man wasn't the preacher, the preacher was the son of the gangster. Wait. The son... Sorry here I'll tell you the last bit again, just pretend you don't know that the man was the preacher's son."

So then I go back to the story and generally mix up details and what not so they have to correct me while they continue to grow even more exasperated at how bad and long this joke is and how badly I am telling it. This can go on for up to about 7 minutes before even the nicest person has had enough of me trolling them.

It's the most sadistic thing I do. Did anyone read all of that? /slides hand down pants

 

[NSWCROW]

Push the pedestrian button three times, always.

I bet you push it REEEEAL good....

 

[NSWCROW]

Start off a joke and then let it go on and on and on and slowly drive my listeners insane with boredom, then when they start to lose interest I say "ok, ok I was just messing with you, so the man... blah blah" then I drag it out even longer. Once I am sure that they have completely lost the patience and there's no way I can possibly get them to listen for a second more I finally reach the punch line of the joke and purposefully mess it up and then say something along the lines of "no.... wait... hang on I messed that up. The man wasn't the preacher, the preacher was the son of the gangster. Wait. The son... Sorry here I'll tell you the last bit again, just pretend you don't know that the man was the preacher's son."

So then I go back to the story and generally mix up details and what not so they have to correct me while they continue to grow even more exasperated at how bad and long this joke is and how badly I am telling it. This can go on for up to about 7 minutes before even the nicest person has had enough of me trolling them.

It's the most sadistic thing I do. Did anyone read all of that? /slides hand down pants

nope
got to the 2nd " Blah "

 

[JUBJUB]

Put fridge magnets on cars parked on my street. Always like it when I find them on the nature strip afterwards. I always need more fridge magnets.

I don't get it.Why put them on cars if you need them ?

 

[Feerits Elf]

To put on other cars, duh

 

[Impunity!]

I disable my doorbell and then when people knock on my door I hurl it open and yell I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS

 

[pantskyle]

I disable my doorbell and then when people knock on my door I hurl it open and yell I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS

Sorry but disabled is a bad word to use. Please use mentally challenged doorbell or sooz for short.

 

[Freofalcon]

At work I like to wrap peoples possessions in about 5 rolls of electrical insulation tape.
Wallets, keys, phones. It's all fair game.

I also like to go to peoples cars and turn everything on so when they turn the key the radio is full volume, air con is full blast, wipers going million miles an hour.

I get bored at work.

 

[SwampCreature]

I post on bigfooty as UmpiringFooty

 

[Cruyff14]

Call people 'champ'

Funny you say this.

My boss calls people champ. C*nt starts with C. So does champ. And there you go, champ

---
Big grammar Nazi over here too. Will often do it.

I shit stir just for the fun of it. Because I can.

 

[bresker]

I always assume that if someone calls me 'champ' they're taking the piss out of me

 

[Cruyff14]

Champ should only be said to kids under the age of 10.

 

[PP34]

I probably do plenty of things, but I cannot think of them right now.

 

[BALKAN]

Push the pedestrian button three times, always.

Push the pedestrian button, wait till traffic stops, decide I don't want to cross the road anymore and walk away.

 

[class78]

Use the same knife for Vegemite and margarine, putting Vegemite in the margarine container in the process. I also like to say things like 'sweater' and 'sidewalk' in front of people who feel the need to correct you.

 

[UmpiringFooty]

Crop dust when i'm in the supermarket. Watching other people react to what type of smell it is. This usually happens near the meat section!

 

[Julius Seizure]

Get to the front of fast food lines and take my sweet time ordering if the person behind me was standing too close.

 

[SugarShane]

Use the same knife for Vegemite and margarine, putting Vegemite in the margarine container in the process.

This reminds me. I'll double dip and that sort of shit when no one is looking. Not even because I want to, just because I know people would flip if they knew.

 

[Freofalcon]

Sometimes when I'm bored , I'll swap all the goods in our store. Swap the 20 & 25 mm fittings, put the metric gear where the imperial stuff is supposed to be, people go looking for stainless steel and find galvanised stuff instead. Drives our Storeman nuts.

Sometimes I'll change the names of peoples desktop icons to names of Countries, sporting teams, food stuffs, famous people etc.

I get bored at work.

 

[NSWCROW]

Funny you say this.

My boss calls people champ. C*nt starts with C. So does champ. And there you go, champ

---
Big grammar Nazi over here too. Will often do it.

I shit stir just for the fun of it. Because I can.

'Straya
Where we call our mates " ####'s " and strangers " Mate "

 

[Coolangatta]

I always assume that if someone calls me 'champ' they're taking the piss out of me

That's a good assumption to make champ.

 

[Cruyff14]

Sometimes when I'm bored , I'll swap all the goods in our store. Swap the 20 & 25 mm fittings, put the metric gear where the imperial stuff is supposed to be, people go looking for stainless steel and find galvanised stuff instead. Drives our Storeman nuts.

Sometimes I'll change the names of peoples desktop icons to names of Countries, sporting teams, food stuffs, famous people etc.

I get bored at work.

You are actually a c*n't.