Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Enjoy yours Mrs. Potatohead

If Jayiedyiyn Stephenson isn't #1 I'm going to physically assault you Mofra

 

[Deadpool]

Billy Gowers is a Bulldogs player who came from nowhere to win the club goalkicking award in 2018.

Billy himself was rookied by Carlton

You contradicted yourself there Mofra.

 

[Hollow Knight]

You contradicted yourself there Mofra.

Really? If anything it seems like he repeated himself rather than contradict.

 

[Deadpool]

Really? If anything it seems like he repeated himself rather than contradict.

Touche.

Looks like I need to get one of dem word list books, I forget the name.

 

[A Cut Above]

After Friday night's embarrassment we definitely need more Geelong players. May I suggest choosing from the following Mofra?

Stanley, Tuohy, Ablett, Taylor, Kolowhatsni, Smith, Fogarty (James Worpel says hi), Ratugolea, Rohan, Menegola, Parsons, Guthrie (either), Dahlhaus (not that I need to tell you) & O'Connor. Such a rich garden of succulent choices! I've bolded those eminently worthy of top 10 selection.

If extra weight (heh) is to be given to finals performances you can even throw (or forklift) Tom Hawkins in there. Worst AA selection since Andrew Mackie?

 

[Starburns_]

Ohhhh dear a stats melt in the bottom 50 fred. Enjoy your ban

Why would we ban him? The melts are the best part!

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Surely there’s a way to get an honourable mention to Chris Scott?

“We would have played Stanley if we knew it wasn’t raining”- during the not raining pre match interview

“I can’t comment on grundys influence” in the post game..

Grundy was about as influential to the result as Charlie Cameron was with his 5 goals a few weeks back

 

[hawkman]

Grundy was about as influential to the result as Charlie Cameron was with his 5 goals a few weeks back

So he didn't have a real influence on the result. Mission accomplished again

 

[HairyO]

4 flags between them, poorly thought out troll

Carried by Bartel and Chapman.

 

[Wojcinski]

Carried by Bartel and Chapman.

A response sauteed in wrongsauce

 

[Engimal v3]

Looks like North is going to escape 50-40 without a player. That's a win in my book.

 

[Over The Post]

Just means Norf's spuds are more spudlike than the first ten on the list.

 

[hawkman]

Just means Norf's spuds are more spudlike than the first ten on the list.

Or that no one cares enough to know who the Norf spuds are

 

[Over The Post]

Or that no one cares enough to know who the Norf spuds are

Marley "Desiree" Williams
Scott "Fingerling" Thompson
Jasper "Russett Burbank" Pittard
Jamie "Dutch Cream" Macmillan
Robbie "Sebago" Tarrant
Shaun "Kipfler" Atley
Trent "Idaho" Dumont
Shaun "Rua" Higgins
Jared "Superior" Polec
Kayne "Yukon Gold" Turner
Nick "Carisma" Larkey
Jack "Creme Royale" Ziebell
Taylor "Mayan Gold" Garner
Ben "Royal Blue" Brown
Cameron "Red Royale" Zurhaar
Todd "Gourmandine" Goldstein
Jy "King Edward" Simpkin
Ben "Nadine" Cunnington

Google found the list on the Norf website. Seems they are the only ones who care enough to know.

 

[A Cut Above]

Regardless of form this little grub deserves a spot on the list.

 

[Laphroaig]

Regardless of form this little grub deserves a spot on the list.

Future Hawthorn Captain.

 

[vjknight]

Future Hawthorn Captain.

Who norf should be chasing.

 

[A Cut Above]

Future Hawthorn Captain.

Does he really have that Premiership player look?

 

[Mofra]

Player #40 - Nathan Hrovat


Pictured: North have designed a camouflage top. They are the least visible club in Melbourne, It's blue. Football is played on grass.

Nathan Hrovat was a forward/midfielder at North Melbourne who was traded to North from the Western Bulldogs, who selected him at pick 21 (they gained that pick from Hawthorn by trading out Brian Lake). The Bulldogs gave back pick 26, which was used on Tim O'Brian so even the Hawks had some small downside to this scenario.

Nathan stands at 175cm, which is two centimetres smaller than Boomer Harvey. Unfortunately for Nathan, Hrovat wasn't blessed with Boomer's height, pace or ability to negotiate a rigged car raffle into the terms of his contract. In his time in the AFL he just wasn't able to cement a spot in the midfield or up forward. His nickname was 'Rat' which is a far less flattering nickname than 'Boomer' Harvey, 'Cunners' Cunnington or 'Shut the ^&%k Up' Scott.

In 2019 Hrovat (which is Hungarian for 'should have been a jockey') managed to play five games for North Melbourne which is a decent effort for someone who isn't particularly outstanding in any aspect of the game. Obviously he's not an aerial threat, and he isn't noted as being deadly by hand of foot, nor would he win too much contested ball weighing about 1/8th of your average West Coast Eagle's cheer-squad member. He kicked two behinds but no goals this year, averaged 15 touches and 1.5 tackles.
I know what you're thinking, and according to Dr Google "meh" translates from Hungarian into either bee, uterus, womb or honeybee which sounds like it could cause both confusion and the potential for injury if my knowledge of Melbourne's inner north weekend activities are correct.

Nathan has already moved into an off-field role at North as an 'AFL Football Operations Coordinator and AFLW Leadership Consultant' which is a title so vague it could have been Brad Scott's gameplan. He's probably just going to be answering fan enquiries all day, with one particular Ballarat resident likely to take up a lot of his time.

Fun Fact: Nathan is not even the world's most famous Hrovat. Meta Hrovat is a Slovenian World Cup alpine ski racer who, at age 21, has more sponsors than North Melbourne:



Any Nathan, you finish your career on 69 games (teehee), enjoy your new role and welcome to this years' Bottom 50.

 

[Laphroaig]

Does he really have that Premiership player look?

Boom boom.

I must admit, Hawthorn has its share of campaigners on the list already - but you wouldn't trust any of them to be able to lead a sailor to a knocking shop after a month at sea.

 

[evo]

If a Norf player is shit, but nobody notices, then did it really happen?

 

[Vril]

Nathan Hrovat? Lol surely just making up names now

 

[Schulzenfest]

Nathan Hrovat? Lol surely just making up names now

Hrovat came from the Dogs. Again with the Bulldog nonames Mofra.

 

[Lord_Flashheart]

69 games

Nice

 

[Mofra]

Player #39 - David Armitage


Pictured: St Kilda's pre-season hokey-pokey sessions are serious business down Seaford way

David Clancy Armitage is a St Kilda player from Queensland, so the chances of him respecting women aren't great.

Drafted with pick 9, 'Armo' was a solid ball winner for many years. Those years do not include the past couple, where he has not been selected to play finals by virtue of playing for St Kilda.
After playing 15 games last year, Armo was only selected twice this year to play against the two Queensland teams. I assume he was chosen for his 'insider knowledge', a phrase not to be confused with the prosecution brief in the Stephen Milne case.

In both games Armo managed 16 touches, with an overall clanger ratio of 25%. He was not seen again as St Kilda pursued their youth policy that has served them so well throughout their long and successful history.
There was also a rumour where Nick Riewoldt and Armo... well let's just say, Nick thinks Armo completely sucked one pre-season.

Armo did managed to play in the 2008 pre-season cup win, which was celebrated slightly more than the Saints winning the 2004 cup:


And slightly less than that one time someone found cheap flights for schoolies week:


Armo hasn't completely closed the door on extending his AFL career, however he will not be offered a new contract at St Kilda because he's 31 years old his first name isn't Jack.

Fun fact: Armo is from Mackay, which also gave us Karen Jacobsen who is 'original female Australian voice of the Siri application on Apple iPhones, iPods and iPads'. It's clearly a Queensland voice as it adds 'ay' to the end of every sentence.

Armo, good luck next year and welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.