Jiska
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Thanks to Loose at HB for this preview (which will probably be out of date by tonight, but still....) - apologies for stealing your thunder!
The simple person will look at Supercoach and call it a game. The slightly more complex will look at it and label it a hobby. The dismissive will call it a waste of time. Yet for those involved, the best comparison is something much more than that. SuperCoach is a way of life. A religion, complete with its own Gods, own commandments, even its own sacrifices.
It is the presence of these “SC Gods” that is the source of much debate among those who dedicate themselves to the practice of cash cow plumping followed by merciless culling. Not a weekend goes by on the plains of BigFooty where the herd does not cry for the Gods to be transparent with them about the decisions they make – why did Bont get +15 for a handball that missed the target? Why does your algorithm consider Jack Ziebell to regularly be the best player on the ground? And why the fu** do you keep freezing the scores halfway through the final quarter every week??
Free of corruption? Not this temple, trust me
The difference between the ardent followers of SuperCoach compared to most other religions is that in the case of SuperCoach, the Coaches do not hold any fear for the deities. Rather, they view them with contempt, as something to be mocked. Their contempt is something that is limited only to the Gods – while some coaches will visit the poor, disadvantaged province that is AFL Fantasy in secret, most of those in the promised lands will turn their noses up at their impoverished brothers, claiming their game to be “simple” and not requiring as much skill to navigate. “Anyone can play a game where cheap possessions are all that matter”, they cry, knowing full well that the CD algorithm has continued to encourage the selection of these very same seagulls. It is the principle which matters to them.
Response of the average SuperCoacher when someone tells them they play AFL Fantasy
They’re always listening though. The SC gods know when Coaches are getting away with too much, or when they start to catch on to who has been anointed with their blessing, something colloquially referred to as “KOTD” by the persistently-raging tribe. There’s always something up their sleeves to make lives harder for us. In 2011, they initially brought in something we now know as “The Byes” – after a period of adaptation, Coaches fought their way through them or just wilfully decided to ignore them. Then there was the sub rule that tormented us for 5 years and killed more rookies that I can remember without triggering my PTSD. There’s been starting prices that make no sense, there’s been the literal whole of 2020, you name it, they’ve tried it.
Despite all of this, there’s one weapon in the arsenal of the Gods that induces mass panic among the group no matter how many times it occurs. That weapon, is the random fixture change. The postponement of a game. One simple action that forces the reassessment of trades, a total revamp to scoring and a series of melts among the collective for a variety of reasons. You can’t prepare for it because you don’t know when it’s coming. There’s never a good time for it to happen but the SC gods are masters of their craft – and they don’t give you anything to help. No mercy. “Best 18” and that’s it. No money. No trades. Don’t even bother swimming. Just sink.
The best way to get through something like this is to remember it’s us against them. Those who understand the game vs a nuffie with an algorithm. It is us who truly know what a clanger is. What constitutes a contested possession. How much scaling everyone should get. Remember that, and they’re at our mercy
WESTERN BULLDOGS vs MELBOURNE
Onto the semi-serious stuff with quite possibly the most anticipated game this season – and I’m not talking about the final score. The Bont and the Olliepig are the 2 most in-form midfielders in the comp and both are coming off monster games – the Bont kicking 4 goals on his way to 159 while Clarry decided to absolutely take the piss, smashing his own contested possession record to post a fabled double ton which still wasn’t enough to get his side over the line. Those with both of these studs are set for a very exciting evening but if you’re one of the unlucky kents who has neither, you might as well delete your team.
Bevo never told you the truth, did he Marcus…
Although all the attention will be on the aforementioned two, both sides have much more to offer. For the Dogs, Jack Macrae returned to more SP-like form with 41 possessions and 149 in tandem with Tom Liberatore who precisely no-one owns yet somehow has a 5 round average of 117. Bailey Dale was enormous in his new seagulling role down back to post a monstrous 152 while the Helmut continued his brilliant recent form with another ton. Anthony Scott was subbed out of the game with a head knock and regardless of whether he is named or not, unfortunately his cash generation is finished and he needs to be traded. One viable replacement may be his teammate Cody Weightman, scores of 75 and 98 in his first 2 games making him quite tempting but at 174k, you’d want to be pretty sure he’s more than a flash in the pan.
Max Gawn and Christian Petracca looked more like their premo selves against the Crows but were overshadowed by the Piglet’s ridiculousness. They both look to have bottomed out with BEs of 128 and 96 respectively and in the case of Petracca, 525k is a bargain for a true premo mid if your R14 bye isn’t a disaster zone. Christian Salem missed due to groin soreness and looks likely to return but his absence wasn’t taken advantage of by Steven May, the defender being pretty underwhelming since bottoming out at 400k with 2 scores in the 70s and no tons to show. For those who picked him up, he doesn’t look like being good enough to keep and may need to be upgraded at his bye.
James Jordon crumbled under the pressure of being the only decent R1 rook remaining and decided he would rather go and grab a coffee with Tom Powell in the “used” pile, a score in the 40s leaving his BE up at 75 before playing against the best midfield in the comp. There is a reasonable chance he reaches it but it may be prudent to trade him out as well given most Coaches’ struggles with cash gen.
COLLINGWOOD vs GEELONG
While Brodie Grundy’s millions continue to weigh down his pockets, there’s also some pressure developing on his shoulders as he attempts to continue carrying the Pies through their annus horribilus. The Manbun was dominant early against the Power before petering out slightly to finish on 138 and a 5 round average of 134 means he should always be in consideration for the captaincy. Not least this week, given the Cats have made a habit out of simply not drafting rucks since Brad Ottens retired.
Jack Crisp and Steele Sidebottom continued their solid SC form, despite the game looking to have rather gone past the latter in recent weeks. Caleb Poulter gave the impression that his last name indicates his previous profession, the rookie butchering the ball like no-one’s business in the first half but recovering sensationally well to put up 80 and solidify himself as an on field option. Beau McCreery kicked 3 goals but injured his calf chasing multiple shadows in forward 50 while those with Nathan Murphy will be hoping that Bucks still has an iota of common sense left within him.
In keeping with the theme of what comes up must come down, Geelong’s midfield SP pairing came crashing back down to Earth over the weekend. A concussion following a Nick Holman tackle took Mitch Duncan out of the game and next week while Cam Guthrie battled a shoulder complaint and failed to crack the ton for the first time in 5 weeks. Both now look like they will be more accessible after their bye, although the imminent of return of KOTDangerfield does cast some doubt about Guthrie long term. Down back, Tom Stewart posted his third sub-ton in a row to also mark himself as a good post-bye target but there has been no such struggles for the Tomahawk, the big man quietly establishing himself as a forward premo with a 5 round average of 102.
BRISBANE vs GWS
Jarryd Lions is taking the piss at this point, and Hugh McCluggage isn’t far behind him. Scores of 129 and 116 respectively continued the pair’s ridiculous recent run and most Coaches will be needing to sell the farm in order to get anywhere near them. Where the fu** is Matt de Boer when you need him...
It’s just too easy at this point…
Dayne Zorko solidified his status as a must-have up forward with another great score while Daniel Rich continues to defy his anatomical deficiencies, the human T-Rex looking like quite the tasty backline POD with an average of 107 @ 551k. Dev Robertson hasn’t quite been able to replicate the 80+ scores seen in a couple of his early games but has been largely consistent, a 5 round average of 68.8 meaning he’s pretty safe on your field until his bye. The Irishman James Madden will be on quite a few radars this week – DPP, 123k and a gaggle of maxed out rookies makes him very tempting but questionable job security and a terrible bye will turn some potential suitors away.
Josh Kelly was a popular trade in last week and only really played one good quarter in truth, a massive third term carrying him just barely over the ton. Tim Taranto was equally as solid without being spectacular but the real star of the show was SP Matthew Flynn, SC’s 2021 cash gen saviour somehow managing to play 2 games in a row to bring his price up to 351k. There’s every chance he plays again this week and for those who aren’t interested in mercilessly slaughtering him, Braydon Preuss managed to injure himself showing off in the gym and therefore giving the Ferrari Driver one less reason to drop Flynny. Lachie Whitfield returned to form with 110 against the Eagles and with a BE of 107 this week preceding his bye in R12, he shapes as a perfect trade in for R13.
ST KILDA vs NORTH MELBOURNE
All eyes for this one will be on one man and one man only. After getting smashed by 17 goals, all logic would point to the return of Tom Highmore after he was mercilessly made the scapegoat for Max King’s inability to kick straight against Geelong the week prior. I’m distinctly unclear as to what exactly Jarryn Geary adds at this point and James Frawley looks like he never should have come out of retirement, opening the door for the SC board favourite. Unfortunately, Brett Ratten does not operate with logic. Expect Ben Long and Luke Dunstan to be among the ins while Sir Thomas is sent back to Sandy again.
Artist’s impression of St. Kilda selection process
The Saints don’t really have much else for us – Jack Steele has been a little underwhelming since it’s been established that his football side are dreadful but on the plus side Ryan Byrnes was arguably the only Saint out there who could collect his paycheck with dignity last week, his 72 a welcome boost to his cash gen for those who chose him over RCD and Poulter. Hunter Clark is another that has completely fallen off a cliff and if Ratts’ treatment of Bryce Gibbs is any guide, he won’t go into the midfield until Ratts is sacked.
After 8 weeks of glorious unaccountability and shameless seagulling, Jack Ziebell has unfortunately been forced to actually stand in the vicinity of an opposition footballer in the last fortnight and his scoring has suffered for it with back to back performances under the ton. He’s still the number 1 forward and despite the fact that he’s given up most of his chips to Aaron Hall, forward lines with both of these seagulling wonders of life can rest easy until one or both of them end up injured. In contrast, Ben Cunnington continued his hot streak and his diet of almost exclusively contested ball with his third score over 130 in the last 4 weeks but it is worth keeping in mind that he has done this in past before falling away. The midfield bull has never averaged more than 102 across a full season but admittedly is cheap and does have a decent bye for most coaches looking for a cheap M8. Tom Powell’s value is plummeting and those who didn’t get rid of him last week should be doing so before this weekend.
GOLD COAST vs HAWTHORN
As it stands I don’t even know if this game is going ahead. Anyway;
Touk Miller’s last 4 rounds read; 146, 115, 115, 133. The Suns’ only SC relevant premo has well and truly broken out and by virtue of a friendly bye and being slightly more accessible than another SP mid that the Suns inexplicably let go, he shapes as a fantastic POD either now or after his bye if you can stump up the funds. Jy Farrar should hopefully return from a quad injury but that’s basically it as far as the Suns are concerned.
I had a bit of a go at Tom Mitchell last week but like all good premos, he responded to the SC board roast with a big 142 and although he had about as much influence against the Blues as I did from my couch, he’s another mid with a friendly bye and a good price in addition to his scoring pedigree. Jarman Impey does not have such pedigree but continues to score for fun in what surely must be Year of the Seagull over in China but sadly the same cannot not be said for Changkuoth Jiath. Opposition coaches seem to have discovered that CJ is about as useful as **** on a bull (I can still say that can’t I) when actually made to defend and those with him should be looking to turn him into a real premo as soon as possible before he leaks more cash.
If you’ve help Jacob Koschitzke this long, he’s probably worth holding again this week against the Suns but the real focus will be on Ned Reeves who will likely break the record next week for the most traded in player of all time who…. isn’t actually playing that week.
WEST COAST vs ESSENDON
Tim Kelly put up his third ton in 4 weeks (with the 4th being a 98) to continue a hot run of form after a pretty ordinary start to the season. He’s still gettable @ 515k but given he has a pretty terrible bye and no prolonged exposed form as an SP, I’d be giving him a wide birth. Andrew Gaff was average against the Giants and his outside game will leave him prone to these sorts of dips when he has a quieter game while some bloke with huge thighs returned and broke the Eagles’ games record. He’s not super SC relevant but I was compelled to mention the campaigner
Darcy Parish has officially joined the club of “SPs in 2021 we didn’t expect”, the man who still looks like he’s more suited to being a choirboy boasting a season average of 111 and a 5 round average of 134!!! on the back on a dominant 152 against the Roos. He’s continued to blossom in the absence of Dylan Shiel and for those looking for a POD, he’s absolutely worth considering. Zac Merrett was delighted to see North Melbourne largely ignore his existence on his way to 117 and while Jordan Ridley also broke the ton, there has been a definite drop in his performance since his return and all SuperCoaches know exactly who is to blame.
This is the final step of Operation: Reddog. Take the shot, Corporal.
For anyone still with Nik Cox, he’s miraculously started his cash gen again in contrast to Alec Waterman who looks like he’ll barely crawl over 200k…. that is, if he even keeps his place. Nick Hind was also solid again with 94 and looks like a great pick
RICHMOND vs ADELAIDE
The Tigers have long been referred to as a not-very-SC-friendly side and as it stands, not a single Richmond player is averaging more than 96. Jayden Short has been frustratingly inconsistent and doesn’t look to be enjoying his time with Bachar Houli in the side, while Dustin Martin reverted to his usual home and away programming after 1 week of looking like a footballer. Riley Collier-Dawkins tried hard yet doesn’t seem to have many fans at CD HQ but in good news for the Tiges, Shai Bolton is a chance to break the Guinness World Record for the fastest return to play from a broken wrist and has been listed as “probable” by their medical department, along with a couple of other useful mids that we as SC players don’t really care about. Approach Shai with caution – not only for his wrist but that fact that Tom Lynch’s knee injury may result in him being parked in the goalsquare.
Likely footage of Shai Bolton after celebrating a goal this weekend
Rory Laird’s redemption arc after leaving the dark arts of seagulling behind continued with his third straight score over 120 while Jimmy Rowe continued to defy all logic, a 3 round average of 77 leaving him at 294k and a virtual guarantee to cross the 300k barrier. Who would’ve thunk it 3 weeks ago when his BE was 79 after back to back turds. Sam Berry probably isn’t worth mentioning but hey, he’s alive I guess.
SYDNEY vs CARLTON
If you ever needed further proof that nothing about 2021 makes any sense, it’s the fact that the King Seagull may be available for under 530k at his bye. Jake Lloyd has been a beacon of consistency this season with no score lower than 95 but also nothing above 124, leaving him steadily leaking cash and likely losing weight as a result of Jordan Dawson’s chip stealing. His BE is 127 this week and while he’s every chance of getting it against the Blues, he may be quite the bargain in the coming future. By contrast, Callum Mills is going from strength to strength with his fifth ton in a row making him much more difficult to obtain for those without him.
Isaac Heeney backed up the previous weeks’ 110 with a solid 86 (by 2021 premo standards) while those of us waiting for Chad Warner to finally deliver a good game have been rewarded with some sterling consistency around 60 but nothing much else. He remains a candidate to be traded out.
For the Blues, Sam Walsh went absolutely ballistic (not to be confused with BALLASTIC) in the first half and was significantly quieter after that to end on 116, while Sam Docherty fell victim to the CD nerds’ realisation that they didn’t have him and hence couldn’t score him appropriately for his performance. A 96 was still respectable but understated his importance to the Blues’ win. Patty Cripps has had 2 weeks in succession where he has looked even somewhat like half the footballer he used to be and with the Blues’ bye coming up, there are traces of hope that the former SP can begin to return to form. Even Zac Williams looked like a player last week!
PORT ADELAIDE vs FREMANTLE
Like most of his side, Travis Boak wasn’t quite as good as he normally is against the Pies but still battled his way to 96. Dan Houston clearly isn’t right and posted another terrible score due to struggling with a shoulder injury and logic would say to rest him and open the door for SP Miles Bergman, who thankfully for his owners and cash gen wasn’t activated as the medical sub last week. Manchild Lachie Jones was a popular trade in last week and looked a little rusty with 48, but thankfully for owners he’s one of Ken’s favourites so much like Hamish Hartlett he’s not likely to be dropped.
Nat Fyfe actually kicked a goal without kicking 4 behinds prior which probably explains why he was back over the ton this week. David Mundy followed suit as did Adam Cerra, the midfielder a popular target for many cash-strapped coaches this week as he bottoms out at 408k. Luke Ryan finally returned for long suffering owners with a 106 and in the process it appears he passed on his calf injury to Andy Brayshaw, the young gun missing with the most classical of old man injuries. In a rare display of an AFL club actually getting on the front foot, Freo claimed that Brayshaw was a near-certain starter for this weekend but knowing their medical staff, anything is possible.
Freo medical staff when faced with just about anything
We’ve been faced with many challenges as Coaches in the last 18 months – the news of the GCS/Hawks game likely being postponed (please just play the ******* thing at Metricon) and of Richmond/Adelaide being moved to Sydney opens a can of worms that I don’t think any of us really want to look too deeply into. The Dees are also in isolation at the time of my completing this so I don’t even know how much of what I’ve prepped – but for all of us who just love footy/SC and want the Rona to fu** off, this is for you.
May the chol be with you
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