- Apr 26, 2016
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- 82,391
- AFL Club
- Sydney
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- #1
I'm writing this from quarantine as I wait for Scott Morrison's latest press conference on the tellie. I've used Dettol before typing this and will wash my hands with it again once I am done. 'Blinding Lights' by The Weeknd is playing in the background and the ads on TV keep repeating the phrases "all in this together" and "unprecedented times."
I'm struggling to think of something to write. How do you write a preview for a game that you're not sure will happen? The season has been delayed for weeks now and there's been no word on a fixture update or when the season will resume and - Oh, hang on a sec. My mate is calling me.
"Hello?... Yep... Yeah, I'm about to write it right now... Oh?... Oh really?... Wow, OK... Geez that's surprising... Yeah for sure... Well thanks for letting me know... cya."
Okay, so I've just been reliably informed that it is in fact NOT 2020 after all, but actually 2024, which means Richmond aren't relevant at all! Hooray!!!
Is it harsh to say so? Perhaps. But if any Richmond fan is reading this, don't take it too hard. You can wipe your tears with bits of black and gold confetti swept up after three recent premierships. Or if confetti proves to be insufficient as tissues, try discarded and charred membership cards collected from your nearest microwave.
Irrelevant seems an apt word to describe the state of Richmond right now, because they're in a strange state of limbo as a club and have been since that last flag in 2020. A new coach and an outgoing President. Veterans past their primes and youngsters a fair way from theirs. There's the shell of a very successful dynasty still there, but it's exactly that - a shell. Once-great players who are now just good at best, like Dusty and Prestia and Grimes and Lynch and Nankervis and Marlion Picke- Damn it. He's not supposed to be in there. This is the last time I'll use AI for a preview.
What remains are some young(er) players who are quality but, on their own, aren't enough. Shai Bolton's talent can be as dazzling as it is deluding (to himself, that is - the motivational post-it note on his locker should read 'I AM NOT GARY ABLETT JR') Liam Baker and Jayden Short can be hit and miss, but the former can be a Papley-esque excitement machine while the latter won a club B&F in a premiership year - the highest honour in footy, in my humble opinion. I also have a heap of time for Nick Vlastuin, who looks like a Viking that's been captured and converted to a Saxon, and Jack Ross, who I have no idea why he's not a regular as he looks good every time I've seen him. Perhaps a Tigers fan could illuminate me on this one. Admittedly I don't watch much of Richmond, which I guess makes me not so different to the 57,000 Richmond members who forgot they had a game on at the G on Sunday arvo.
To bridge the two generations they're phasing out and in, respectively, Richmond embarked on a very successful strategy of recruiting some mature players from other clubs, headlined by Tim Taranto and Jacob Hopper. It was very successful because Richmond got exactly what they wanted. They managed to land two minimally-impactful accumulators who are elite at nothing after targetting two minimally-impactful accumulators who are elite at nothing. Targets identified. Targets acquired. Some would call it flawless list management execution. Just as well Brendon Gale doesn't take leadership advice from Vladimir Putin or it would probably result in a different kind of list management execution.
Why they're really irrelevant is that their list profile has them not looking remotely close to being a contender, or even a finalist, but not looking remotely close to being a basket case like a West Coast or North Melbourne, either. Those teams are must-watch TV because it's like watching a trainwreck or a car accident with the guarantee that no one will die from it (again, unless their chairmen are Putin fans.) Richmond are just kinda... there... at the MCG, where they always are... part of the furniture. No, really. Their players and staff are actually melded into the MCG furniture because they didn't listen to the medical advise that told them to get out and explore other stadiums around Australia
Because of this limbo state they're in, you suspect Richmond are going to be keen to establish an identity for themselves. If their first few games are anything to go by, it would seem that identity is 'pluckiness.' Their last two games could easily have been one-sided affairs, but they've hung on and forced both quality opponents to play their best footy to beat them. Even in Opening Round, after a horror start to the game they pegged things back and even had Gold Coast a little nervy to play out what was at least a respectable loss. In the same way that Hawthorn late last year seemed galvanized around the rally cry that they could beat top sides and cause some chaos in the top 4/8, Richmond's pluckiness could give them a boost to make their first win of the season arrive against a side sitting second on the ladder.
Where they may fall short is that 'pluckiness' has been in our DNA across all twelve quarters (confusedmathswoman.gif) we've played so far this year. We have a poor five minutes? We respond with a great five minutes. We have an awful passage of play? We follow it up with real power footy. We can't get our kicking game going? Scrap and fight in the contest. Can't get on top in the contest? Get our handball game going from the back half. Inaccuracy holding us back? A few clutch goals are kicked to break the curse.
It's why, despite not being perfect or truly clinical in any games yet, we're averaging over 100 points and no one's yet to get within 20 points of us in the end. Combined with the fact we are running out fourth quarters superbly, forcing our opponents to play to the death against us, it's pluckiness (heart) with power (talent). And it's been a scary combination so far.
Regarding ins & outs and team match-ups, despite this incredibly eloquent and thorough preview I've written that has Damian Barrett shaking in his boots, I know next-to-nothing about Richmond's team. I will update when I find out. I've been told I'll get a good scoop re Richmond's team changes on Thursday afternoon at 3.20pm AWST, but I'm not going to reveal my source in a Bigfooty preview.
As for ours, Harry Cunningham will miss with a concussion. Corey Warner came in and unexpectedly played virtually a full game. He went okay without impressing that much, so Horse & co have a few options. Stick with him, or try Caleb Mitchell, who impressed in the VFL and has been a senior emergency a few times now, or, if fit, Robbie Fox returns and we move the deckchairs a little. Watch this space. There's also the matter of Luke Parker and Taylor Adams' imminent returns, but I feel that will be an issue for anotherpreview writer to deal with week.
It's honestly hard to see what weapons Richmond have that we need to go out of way to prepare for, which feels like yet another cheap shot at Richmond, so I'll balance it out with a dig at our expense... We beat Essendon by 30 points last week. A strong win no doubt, but unfortunately not enough to kickstart serious discussions by the AFL about folding Essendon as a club, so we have a bit to work on still. See? I can be fair, Tigers fans.
Richmond have some good players in key roles but not so many that we need to start making left-field moves for. Rampe may get the job on Dusty if he plays forward. McCartin and Melican to alternate between Lynch and Balta. And our half backs will need to keep those pesky flanker types like Bolton and Baker accountable. But if we are the team we think and hope we are this year, it should be Adam Yze & co worrying more about curbing us, than us curbing them. We have got weapons everywhere at the moment, and though we have so far this year had a clear best player in one Isaac Heeney, you could throw a blanket over at least half a dozen jostling for the number two spot.
If all goes well, even more will put their hands up this Sunday.
Swans by 274 points.
I'm struggling to think of something to write. How do you write a preview for a game that you're not sure will happen? The season has been delayed for weeks now and there's been no word on a fixture update or when the season will resume and - Oh, hang on a sec. My mate is calling me.
"Hello?... Yep... Yeah, I'm about to write it right now... Oh?... Oh really?... Wow, OK... Geez that's surprising... Yeah for sure... Well thanks for letting me know... cya."
Okay, so I've just been reliably informed that it is in fact NOT 2020 after all, but actually 2024, which means Richmond aren't relevant at all! Hooray!!!
Is it harsh to say so? Perhaps. But if any Richmond fan is reading this, don't take it too hard. You can wipe your tears with bits of black and gold confetti swept up after three recent premierships. Or if confetti proves to be insufficient as tissues, try discarded and charred membership cards collected from your nearest microwave.
Irrelevant seems an apt word to describe the state of Richmond right now, because they're in a strange state of limbo as a club and have been since that last flag in 2020. A new coach and an outgoing President. Veterans past their primes and youngsters a fair way from theirs. There's the shell of a very successful dynasty still there, but it's exactly that - a shell. Once-great players who are now just good at best, like Dusty and Prestia and Grimes and Lynch and Nankervis and Marlion Picke- Damn it. He's not supposed to be in there. This is the last time I'll use AI for a preview.
What remains are some young(er) players who are quality but, on their own, aren't enough. Shai Bolton's talent can be as dazzling as it is deluding (to himself, that is - the motivational post-it note on his locker should read 'I AM NOT GARY ABLETT JR') Liam Baker and Jayden Short can be hit and miss, but the former can be a Papley-esque excitement machine while the latter won a club B&F in a premiership year - the highest honour in footy, in my humble opinion. I also have a heap of time for Nick Vlastuin, who looks like a Viking that's been captured and converted to a Saxon, and Jack Ross, who I have no idea why he's not a regular as he looks good every time I've seen him. Perhaps a Tigers fan could illuminate me on this one. Admittedly I don't watch much of Richmond, which I guess makes me not so different to the 57,000 Richmond members who forgot they had a game on at the G on Sunday arvo.
To bridge the two generations they're phasing out and in, respectively, Richmond embarked on a very successful strategy of recruiting some mature players from other clubs, headlined by Tim Taranto and Jacob Hopper. It was very successful because Richmond got exactly what they wanted. They managed to land two minimally-impactful accumulators who are elite at nothing after targetting two minimally-impactful accumulators who are elite at nothing. Targets identified. Targets acquired. Some would call it flawless list management execution. Just as well Brendon Gale doesn't take leadership advice from Vladimir Putin or it would probably result in a different kind of list management execution.
Why they're really irrelevant is that their list profile has them not looking remotely close to being a contender, or even a finalist, but not looking remotely close to being a basket case like a West Coast or North Melbourne, either. Those teams are must-watch TV because it's like watching a trainwreck or a car accident with the guarantee that no one will die from it (again, unless their chairmen are Putin fans.) Richmond are just kinda... there... at the MCG, where they always are... part of the furniture. No, really. Their players and staff are actually melded into the MCG furniture because they didn't listen to the medical advise that told them to get out and explore other stadiums around Australia
Because of this limbo state they're in, you suspect Richmond are going to be keen to establish an identity for themselves. If their first few games are anything to go by, it would seem that identity is 'pluckiness.' Their last two games could easily have been one-sided affairs, but they've hung on and forced both quality opponents to play their best footy to beat them. Even in Opening Round, after a horror start to the game they pegged things back and even had Gold Coast a little nervy to play out what was at least a respectable loss. In the same way that Hawthorn late last year seemed galvanized around the rally cry that they could beat top sides and cause some chaos in the top 4/8, Richmond's pluckiness could give them a boost to make their first win of the season arrive against a side sitting second on the ladder.
Where they may fall short is that 'pluckiness' has been in our DNA across all twelve quarters (confusedmathswoman.gif) we've played so far this year. We have a poor five minutes? We respond with a great five minutes. We have an awful passage of play? We follow it up with real power footy. We can't get our kicking game going? Scrap and fight in the contest. Can't get on top in the contest? Get our handball game going from the back half. Inaccuracy holding us back? A few clutch goals are kicked to break the curse.
It's why, despite not being perfect or truly clinical in any games yet, we're averaging over 100 points and no one's yet to get within 20 points of us in the end. Combined with the fact we are running out fourth quarters superbly, forcing our opponents to play to the death against us, it's pluckiness (heart) with power (talent). And it's been a scary combination so far.
Regarding ins & outs and team match-ups, despite this incredibly eloquent and thorough preview I've written that has Damian Barrett shaking in his boots, I know next-to-nothing about Richmond's team. I will update when I find out. I've been told I'll get a good scoop re Richmond's team changes on Thursday afternoon at 3.20pm AWST, but I'm not going to reveal my source in a Bigfooty preview.
As for ours, Harry Cunningham will miss with a concussion. Corey Warner came in and unexpectedly played virtually a full game. He went okay without impressing that much, so Horse & co have a few options. Stick with him, or try Caleb Mitchell, who impressed in the VFL and has been a senior emergency a few times now, or, if fit, Robbie Fox returns and we move the deckchairs a little. Watch this space. There's also the matter of Luke Parker and Taylor Adams' imminent returns, but I feel that will be an issue for another
It's honestly hard to see what weapons Richmond have that we need to go out of way to prepare for, which feels like yet another cheap shot at Richmond, so I'll balance it out with a dig at our expense... We beat Essendon by 30 points last week. A strong win no doubt, but unfortunately not enough to kickstart serious discussions by the AFL about folding Essendon as a club, so we have a bit to work on still. See? I can be fair, Tigers fans.
Richmond have some good players in key roles but not so many that we need to start making left-field moves for. Rampe may get the job on Dusty if he plays forward. McCartin and Melican to alternate between Lynch and Balta. And our half backs will need to keep those pesky flanker types like Bolton and Baker accountable. But if we are the team we think and hope we are this year, it should be Adam Yze & co worrying more about curbing us, than us curbing them. We have got weapons everywhere at the moment, and though we have so far this year had a clear best player in one Isaac Heeney, you could throw a blanket over at least half a dozen jostling for the number two spot.
If all goes well, even more will put their hands up this Sunday.
Swans by 274 points.
