Review Round 8, 2022 - Brisbane Lions vs. West Coast

[luthor]

No one comes close to Dwayno as most annoying for me.

Just watching Carlton/Adelaide with Durwayne doing the commentary

Honestly, he never shuts up.

He is Captain Obvious extraordinaire with a few glib one-liners thrown in.

Treats the viewers like they are idiots who can't work out anything for themselves.

He is the anti-Richie Benaud.

 

[Monkey Daniel]

Best for mine are Huddo, Speedie and Papalia
Huddo doesn’t let his love for the Cats get in the way when calling either. Has what I feel is the correct amount of excitement. The miracle on grass and pandemonium at the Gabba are Huddo gems.

 

[Brett C]

Just watching Carlton/Adelaide with Durwayne doing the commentary

Honestly, he never shuts up.

He is Captain Obvious extraordinaire with a few glib one-liners thrown in.

Treats the viewers like they are idiots who can't work out anything for themselves.

He is the anti-Richie Benaud.

It’s literally his job to deliver most of the commentary as the play by play commentator.

Watching the same game and plenty of input from the entire team.

 

[Hollow Knight]

Play-by-play commentary, like laugh tracks in sitcoms, is one of those things that seems to make sense purely because we are used to it.

When you think about it logically, it's actually not needed for the majority of people. It's not like at the game they have a voice over the PA telling us every single action that is happening on the field.

Imagine if you were watching a movie with a mate and he started doing play-by-play commentary. "Tom Cruise shimmies, shakes, picks up the gun, aims and fires! Perfection!!! That's the third guy he's killed so far. He's racking up the stats!"

Right now in a parallel universe where there is no "play by play" commentary, some marketing idiot is pitching it to a focus group... "How would you like some blithering moron to talk through the whole game, provide no analysis and instead simply tell you what you can already see, while speaking in idiotic cliches and painful pop culture references? Wait! What about two of them? They could take it in turns and engage in a tedious arms race with each other to build their own brand and catchphrases!"

I dream of some future time when there is only special comments when there is genuinely the need for a special comment , and play-by-play is an optional toggle for those who need someone to constantly tell them what they can already see with their own eyes.

 

[Haso]

I would take Kelli Underwood a hundred times over before I'd take Dwayne, BT, Darcy or Brayshaw.

Are you kidding meight Brayshaw is glowing in his knowledge and respect for RICHMOND... UH.. RICH.. the Lions.

 

[M Malice]

Play-by-play commentary, like laugh tracks in sitcoms, is one of those things that makes sense purely because we are used to it.

When you think about it logically, it's actually not needed for the majority of people. It's not like at the game they have a voice over the PA telling us every single action that is happening on the field.

Imagine if you were watching a movie with a mate and he started doing play-by-play commentary. "Tom Cruise shimmies, shakes, picks up the gun, aims and fires! Perfection!!! That's the third guy he's killed so far. He's racking up the stats!"

I dream of some future time when there is only special comments when there is genuinely the need for a special comment , and play-by-play is an optional toggle for those who need someone to constantly tell them what they can already see with their own eyes.

That is what happens on SBS with some of the movies they screen, they call it audio description... I have tried to watch a couple of movies with that feature and I just can't stomach it, only lasted a few minutes.

 

[Hollow Knight]

Are you kidding meight Brayshaw is glowing in his knowledge and respect for RICHMOND... UH.. RICH.. the Lions.

10 seconds into that final and he already shat the bed. One of the great commentary moments.

 

[Rowallan Lion]

My thoughts:

A good ordinary win. Did what we had too, considering the ultra-defensive tactics of the Eagles, the sub-standard umpiring, and the slippery conditions.

McCluggage (or McGluggage as Kelli Underwood referred to him on multiple occasions ) was brilliant throughout, and was great to see him hit the scoreboard. All Australian blazer beckons....

Commentary was abysmal. My wife, who doesn't watch or like footy, came through the room while I was watching and said' "How can you listen to that voice. She's a terrible commentator!"....enough said!

Injuries may be becoming a concern, though it does give some of the youngsters a look in. It would be great to see Hippy back this week, though I wouldn't be expecting too much from him. Charlie will be the focus, but with our multiple options up forward we should have the Crows covered. Hopefully McStay isn't missing for too long...

Happy with season so far, and all games are important, but the BIG matches are not too far away.

Go LIONS!

 

[Viceregal]

Play-by-play commentary, like laugh tracks in sitcoms, is one of those things that seems to make sense purely because we are used to it.

When you think about it logically, it's actually not needed for the majority of people. It's not like at the game they have a voice over the PA telling us every single action that is happening on the field.

Imagine if you were watching a movie with a mate and he started doing play-by-play commentary. "Tom Cruise shimmies, shakes, picks up the gun, aims and fires! Perfection!!! That's the third guy he's killed so far. He's racking up the stats!"

Right now in a parallel universe where there is no "play by play" commentary, some marketing idiot is pitching it to a focus group... "How would you like some blithering moron to talk through the whole game, provide no analysis and instead simply tell you what you can already see, while speaking in idiotic cliches and painful pop culture references? Wait! What about two of them? They could take it in turns and engage in a tedious arms race with each other to build their own brand and catchphrases!"

I dream of some future time when there is only special comments when there is genuinely the need for a special comment , and play-by-play is an optional toggle for those who need someone to constantly tell them what they can already see with their own eyes.

When I want to know what is happening at the game or who is doing what it what happened just then which didn't make sense it is not the commentary team that lets me know but the random melee that is our Game Day thread

 

[luthor]

I'd like ten bucks for every rhetorical question Dwayno trots out during the course of a game.

"Has he got the range?"

"Will he spoil in time ?"

"Can he stick the tackle?"

"Can he take the mark?"

"Is there enough time?"

"Can he hit a target?"

"You don't argue with the umpire these days do you?"

"Can he get the bounce"

"Has he run too far?"

"Is that high?"

"Is that BALL"?

"Can Curnow get up there?"

He often inanely answers his own rhetorical questions with a resounding

"YEW BETCHA!!!!!!"

And I lose count of how many times a goal or a mark is "awesome" or "brilliant"

He has a standard playbook that he reads from every game.

I find him boring as bat shit

 

[Jivlain]

Play-by-play commentary, like laugh tracks in sitcoms, is one of those things that seems to make sense purely because we are used to it.

When you think about it logically, it's actually not needed for the majority of people. It's not like at the game they have a voice over the PA telling us every single action that is happening on the field.

Imagine if you were watching a movie with a mate and he started doing play-by-play commentary. "Tom Cruise shimmies, shakes, picks up the gun, aims and fires! Perfection!!! That's the third guy he's killed so far. He's racking up the stats!"

Right now in a parallel universe where there is no "play by play" commentary, some marketing idiot is pitching it to a focus group... "How would you like some blithering moron to talk through the whole game, provide no analysis and instead simply tell you what you can already see, while speaking in idiotic cliches and painful pop culture references? Wait! What about two of them? They could take it in turns and engage in a tedious arms race with each other to build their own brand and catchphrases!"

I dream of some future time when there is only special comments when there is genuinely the need for a special comment , and play-by-play is an optional toggle for those who need someone to constantly tell them what they can already see with their own eyes.

I do periodically switch over to the radio commentary and quite often the radio commentary is more listenable despite being nominally even more of a "someone describing the thing you can just see with your eyes". But the thing about radio commentary is there's more stations so if the commentators are annoying you you can switch to a different channel. Which you can't do with television (other than try to sync up the radio) so you just hire names you use in advertising and a boy's club festers.

 

[Toffee Lion]

Play-by-play commentary, like laugh tracks in sitcoms, is one of those things that seems to make sense purely because we are used to it.

When you think about it logically, it's actually not needed for the majority of people. It's not like at the game they have a voice over the PA telling us every single action that is happening on the field.

Imagine if you were watching a movie with a mate and he started doing play-by-play commentary. "Tom Cruise shimmies, shakes, picks up the gun, aims and fires! Perfection!!! That's the third guy he's killed so far. He's racking up the stats!"

Right now in a parallel universe where there is no "play by play" commentary, some marketing idiot is pitching it to a focus group... "How would you like some blithering moron to talk through the whole game, provide no analysis and instead simply tell you what you can already see, while speaking in idiotic cliches and painful pop culture references? Wait! What about two of them? They could take it in turns and engage in a tedious arms race with each other to build their own brand and catchphrases!"

I dream of some future time when there is only special comments when there is genuinely the need for a special comment , and play-by-play is an optional toggle for those who need someone to constantly tell them what they can already see with their own eyes.

There are many global sporting moments that have benefited from having good play-by-play calling attached.

I generally believe Australian sports have by far the worst play-by-play callers on national TV, while also having some great talent on radio. It's the Australian schtick that "good" play-by-play calling is more for radio and TV calling is more about on-air personality, which is a shame.

It's a skill like any other and if you perfect it, it rightfully has its place. If you're half-ass with it, you get Derwayne and co.

 

[davemc_lions]

I pay for Kayo.. with Commentary would love them to have a FX only option no commentators during the game
I know Foxtel push no ad breaks.. What about no dickheads talking crap option.
Same cricket it got worse I think the last few years all sports in OZ.

 

[FeastOrFamine]

Pretty bog standard performance. Not the smashing that some were hoping for but 12 goal wins don't grow on trees so I'll take it.

Rayner and Charlie were both great, Fort is proving his worth as bargain recruit of the year, Terry and Jerry were both pretty good and McCluggage...just wow. Payne was decent as well, I'm looking forward to seeing what he can manufacture next week. To keep the opposition to just 4 goals is pretty impressive, let's see if we can keep that up against Adelaide.

 

[DashinD]

Just watching Carlton/Adelaide with Durwayne doing the commentary

Honestly, he never shuts up.

He is Captain Obvious extraordinaire with a few glib one-liners thrown in.

Treats the viewers like they are idiots who can't work out anything for themselves.

He is the anti-Richie Benaud.

I love when Dwayno asks himself a question then answers by repeating the question word for word with a ‘you bet’ in between eg.
‘Can Charlie make it two in a row from the pocket? You bet Charlie can make it two in a row from the pocket!’

James Brayshaw is pretty annoying too. He sounds like an overgrown child on cocaine.

 

[SizeMatters]

What a ****ing joke of a game. Just finished replay and ****ing McStay probably out for a month now as well. Out forwards can't take a ****ing trick the past two seasons.

frig

 

[spotthedog1]

Impressed with TBez's game. Ran hard as always. Positioning improved as the game went on. He took on the tough kicks a few times. Sometimes they came off, and sometimes they didn't, but Fages always encourages players to take the game on that way. Really hope he gets a run in the 1s.

 

[martinson]

The culture in Aus sports commentary is to keep talking and try to appear smarter than the morons watching.

It's totally unnecessary in footy on TV where the action is fluid and changeable and what you're really looking for is an explanation to the chaos which is plain to see to all eyes. Not a description of the chaos. You need a Richie Benaud or a John Arlott who could sum up what just happened and why ,or why it's beyond reason, in a few lucid words.

The nutjobs they have on Channe 7 and Foxtel are pretty much disgusting to listen to , hard on the ear, butcher the English language , and roll out every bogan cliche as if they're reciting Shakespeare.

The truth is they're just not talented enough to do it justice. You can't produce a Bill Collins or a Phil Liggett out of thin air. They're rare . Bruce Mcavaney who was the most researched person I'd ever seen in the racing industry went nuts once he got on commercial television pandering to what he thought the mob wanted. And drove everyone as silly as he drove himself.

It's actually not an easy gig but most of them don't have the talent so they just keep talking with excessive hyperbole to cover up their lack of insight .

 

[WheildonTheAxe]

Most on this board wouldn't have seen the film 'Twins' for a very long time, if at all, but I've got your back brother

Many thanks.

Also. It's not a tumour.

 

[Viceregal]

Many thanks.

Also. It's not a tumour.

Only their mother can tell them apart.

 

[WheildonTheAxe]

JB's sensationalism does me. All the 'this proud footy club' nonsense.

I'd like it if Huddo did nine matches a round.

 

[Big Sauce 21]

I'd like ten bucks for every rhetorical question Dwayno trots out during the course of a game.

"Has he got the range?"

"Will he spoil in time ?"

"Can he stick the tackle?"

"Can he take the mark?"

"Is there enough time?"

"Can he hit a target?"

"You don't argue with the umpire these days do you?"

"Can he get the bounce"

"Has he run too far?"

"Is that high?"

"Is that BALL"?

"Can Curnow get up there?"

He often inanely answers his own rhetorical questions with a resounding

"YEW BETCHA!!!!!!"

And I lose count of how many times a goal or a mark is "awesome" or "brilliant"

He has a standard playbook that he reads from every game.

I find him boring as bat shit

The fact he has a 160 page thread about his commentary on this forum shows how bad he is at calling.

 

[BangyBangy]

Many thanks.

Also. It's not a tumour.

That was Kindergarten Cop

Another classic.

 

[WheildonTheAxe]

That was Kindergarten Cop

Another classic.

Are you trying to tell me I don't know my Ivan Reitman's?

 

[On the quiet]

Impressed with TBez's game. Ran hard as always. Positioning improved as the game went on. He took on the tough kicks a few times. Sometimes they came off, and sometimes they didn't, but Fages always encourages players to take the game on that way. Really hope he gets a run in the 1s.

Yes I too was impressed with Toms game, he took a very strong mark on the lead against McGovern