Event S30 Rookie “Torch of the Year” Award [Rising Star]

[GWS Goose]

Are you serious? Are you actually serious? You gave it to him, after all the work I did before, during and after that round, MY round, you're telling me that it was all for naught, that I still wasn't up to scratch?

Was it that I didn't meme enough? Was it because I stuffed up explaining the stats in the OPs? Was it serial_thrilla complaining about having to see Rebecca Black all week long? Which is it? Cause I know I should've won Round 13, it's Round 13, it's the only round worth winning and I missed. I fired and I missed!

You lot in the committee have made it no secret that you're ignoring my efforts on the qooty field and now you're blatantly showing that you're ignoring me in the match threads as well. Why? What have I done? What is it that I haven't done? Is it that I should be nice to every committee member at every waking moment for a chance to be noticed for a moment? You guys want me to simp to you? Give everything I can give you so that you don't just forget my name when I am CLEARLY THE PERSON WHO ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING THAT ROUND.

NO, I AM SICK AND TIRED OF SERIAL THRILLA AND HIS MERRY BAND OF UTTERLY PRETENTIOUS AND IMCOMPENTENT FRIENDS. YOU GUYS CLEARLY JUST LOOK AT WHO POSTED THE MOST IN MATCH THREADS AND GO "aw yeah, clearly this guy is contributing. Let's ignore everything else and look at the pretty pictures cause words are hard"

I WANT TO KNOW WHO IN THE COMMITTEE IT WAS THAT THINKS I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH, I WANT TO KNOW WHO HAS MARKED MY SFA CARRER A FAILURE ON ALL ACCOUNTS THAT NO AMMOUNT OF FUTURE PRAISE WILL COMPARE TO. BECAUSE CONGRATS GUYS, THE ONE THING I WANTED OUT OF MY ROOKIE SEASON AND I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH TO EVEN REACH MY OWN PERSONAL GOALS.

So, from this moment forth, I wish to never be nom'd for the remaining rounds, I wish for SOME ANSWERS TO THIS MISJUSTICE and I wish that the committee wasn't so clear with its message that quality posting means nothing to them, because from this moment, Season 30 is dead to me and I hope those responsible are happy having stuffed me over forever and always.

Bring on SoO and Season 31.

This is excellent work.
I waited a week for the dust to settle, mostly so I could bump this post and we could enjoy it all over again.

You were absolutely correct, you were robbed.

I don't like the fact that you looked internally so often in this rant, dont mention that it was possible that someone thought you weren't actually good enough.
Claim you were over looked due their incompetence or corruption. Question their integrity and ability not your own

 

[GremioPower]

ROUND 15
THE NOMINEES




DRA-HAW, 11kgm (HAW)

"His engagement over the last few weeks has increased. This time, he deserves to be in the mix for the Torch."



BOM-GCR, Hai_Newman (BOM)

"Who doesn't like an arse-kicking late-comer rookie?!"



WON-DEM, Elmer_Judd (WON)

"One day was all he needed. He was very energetic and humorous."



CIW-FUR, FootyGuy13 (CIW)

"Would the fourth time be the charm for the Guy?"


---

WHO IS GOING TO BE THIS WEEK'S “TORCH”?

 

[Tonga Bob]

Like a couple of muppets on a long-arsed road trip, the Torch of the Season nominations are almost done. It's been a bumpy ride, we've had our share of detours, and we have a couple of stops to go before we get to our destination. Let's get to the candidates.

The People's Nominee FootyGuy13 is back up off the canvas and ready for another crack. Baby Bomber Hai_Newman is making a late charge for a nomination, by saying stuff and doing things. Wunderkind Elmer_Judd is also back in the frame as is young Hawk 11kgm, both of whom have been there or thereabouts for much of the season. A difficult decision, but at the same time an easy one.



FootyGuy13 - it's time.



I sat down with FootyGuy13 and his captain TheInjuryFactory to discuss the nomination. First up it was the Warriors skipper:

Bob: Mate, what a strange old season it's been! The Warriors have experienced many highs and lows, and we find ourselves on the precipice with one round remaining. The darkest hour is just before the dawn though, and the nomination of FootyGuy13 for Torch of the season to go with his Gun nomination is tangible representation of that. Describe the season for me if you can, and what Guy's dual nomination means to both you and the club?

TIF: I think I can sum up the season like so...



As far as FootyGuy13 's nomination goes, it now means we can finally commission that statue of him as Indiana Jones for the Van Cortlandt Park Walk of Legends™ we've been talking about all season. Now that he's got a torch and a gun, we've given the sculptures the green light.


Artist's impression via TiF

Bob: Congrats again on getting FootyGuy13 to the Warriors. Remind me again where you found him, and how has his season panned out?

TIF: I'd love to take credit for it Bob, but our boy harry000 struck gold during the eAFL competition when the two combined forces at eMelbourne. Having already established himself as a unique talent with his flair for analytics, harry brought him to our attention and we approached him as soon as we could. I know Headless and the Dees were also in the market, and Guy had a bit of a decision on his hands. I can't speak for the Dees boys, but I know we were pretty honest with Guy, he couldn't really go wrong at either club, and thankfully for us, he chose the Warriors and has been a huge get for us in S30.

I think we knew what we were getting from an analytical perspective, but what's impressed me the most is his quick wit and dry humour. He started out pretty quiet, abit like myself in that respect, but he's definitely come into his own as the season went on. It was nice to be able to reward him with a quality on field position mid season and it's been impressive to see him go on to really earn his spot.

Bob: Exactly, it's been great having him on the opposite wing. What has his posting style been like?

TIF: Like I say, he's got that quick wit and a nice dry, smartarse sense of humour that's really come to the fore the past few weeks, particularly after the halfway point of the season. He's really grown since then and I see him only going on to become a more active contributor week in, week out from here. I think he complements the group really well, and it will be nice to get some more young talent around him next season, as well as some of the vets we're bringing in next season. I can't wait to see him find his feet in the media.

Bob: The other Coney Island rookie chelseacarlton has made more of an impact on the field than off (at least in the SFA). What are your plans for him in the off-season, and what irons do you have in the fire to bring some new blood to Van Cortlandt Park?

TIF: chelseacarlton is a grower not a shower, I think he's had a season to get his eye in and I expect him to build on that. As far as the off season goes, once again we'll be looking to the qooty tours having recruited yourself from there back in S29 Bobby. Last season we took a back seat, we'll be driving this time around.

A grumpy old man told me last season that nobody owns qooty, so we might look to use that to our advantage this off season too. Stay tuned.

The big talk during expansion was all about players missing out on premium spots and needing to bring in more clubs to accommodate that. Well the fact is, there's plenty of quality positions available at Coney Island, so let's see if they were right after all.

My DMs are open.



Bob: Now that we're deep into the season, are there any rookies from other teams that you wish you had gotten your hands on whose posting you enjoy that you haven't mentioned previously?

TIF: I think the S30 crop has a lot of talent there. The expansion rookies have really gone on to prove themselves this season, after coming in to the competition with some heightened scrutiny placed on them through no fault of their own. The competition absolutely made the right call in rejecting the bids, but I'm sure some of the focus that was placed on them has spurred them on to prove the doubters wrong this season.

There's been a level of overexposure there, but I think most will settle and find their niche as long term players.

I've already called out PMBangers a number of times but he's my guy for the EKA, I think the Bears boys have benefited from bouncing off each other and Mister M is certainly a confidence player. MC Bad Genius is one that really flies under the radar, but he's definitely on mine. I'm sure I've missed a few but yeah we were probably viewed as the enemy to a lot of these guys coming into the season. I've enjoyed mixing it with them this season, they've exceeded my expectations and who knows what the future holds for this crop? Future's bright.

It sure is bossman. Thanks again for taking the time to chat. Now it's over to our boy:

Bob: Hi FootyGuy13, congratulations on your Torch of the Week nomination. I'll start by throwing some names at you. Nelson Mandela. Richard Phillips. Jesus of Nazareth. Dr Richard Kimble. The Birmingham Six. Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter. Cathy Woods. Ryan Crowley

Ryan Crowley

Age

40

Ht

188cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

14.4

4star

K

7.7

3star

HB

6.7

4star

M

3.2

3star

T

3.2

5star

CL

1.7

4star

No current season stats available

D

13.8

4star

K

5.4

2star

HB

8.4

5star

M

2.8

3star

T

6.4

5star

CL

1.4

4star

. In terms of historical travesties of justice, where does the delay of your nomination sit?

FootyGuy: It's probably sits more with Oliver missing the 2017 AA squad and May missing the 2020 AA squad that I didn't get the Round 13 Torch nom. I had it set all out from the start of the season and thought it was meant to be when Wayne's World put the Round 13 match threads up for grabs. Unfortunately it was not to be, with the committee opting for quantity over quality.

Bob: Some would say it's overdue, others would say that good things come to those who wait. Which camp do you sit in?

FootyGuy: Well, I wouldn't say that I was impatiently waiting for the nom before Round 13. In fact, I was kind of getting a little anxious that I was going to get the nom beforehand. When the notification didn't come up that week, I was relived that I was able to shoot my shot for the title of Round 13 Torch Nom and have my plan work. I just didn't plan for the committee to ignore me, which is my fault since they've been doing it all year.

Bob: Playing the long game. Remind me again how you made your way to the SFA, and where did you first hear about it?

FootyGuy: I first saw some threads pop up on the Most Liked Threads or the Most Liked Posts on the Front Page, didn't really think about joining in until corona happened and Chief/Ant Bear set up the eAFL and came knocking on the door of every team board. harry000 had the task of making eMelbourne not rabble and I decided to help him with stat work. One failed season later, I had him and Headless show up, asking to join their teams. I also had the Serpants and Vampires say Hi, but I was already committed to one of the 2. After an arduous and long think about, I ended up choosing the Warriors.

Bob: What are your impressions of the place now you've been around a while? Are TheInjuryFactory & the Warriors looking after you?

FootyGuy: Oh, everyone seems to be looking after me and my growing assortment of sleeved guernseys. The simmers has been looking after me, giving the team and I good weather and, in turn, good stats. TheInjuryFactory has been looking after me be putting me into roles to get me those good stats. Vic Country stalwarts The Half Back and ClarkeM have been looking after me now that it's State of Origin season and they're seeing my good stats and lastly manangatang has been looking after me by giving me a chance to tell the world what it's really like being stuck the S30 hopefuls and hopeless.

Bob: How do you prepare for a match thread?

FootyGuy: Oh, I prepare for qooty games much like anyone one does. I walk down to the ground, past the line for the RBT that seems to be there for every game (good guys, haven't failed a test yet), go into the rooms dodging whatever shenanigans the guys are doing this week, figure out if the weather is sleeved jumper weather or not and run out onto the field to see a sea of orange waiting to cheer us on.

Bob: What would you like to achieve off field during your SFA career? Have you ventured into the world of media yet?

FootyGuy: I have not, I've had ideas but I thought I'd leave it until I've had an idea of how time I'd have to execute those ideas with the off time I've had recently. I do have one in the works but I think the EKA voting will be done by then and only the select few will care about it. I still expect it to be a big event whenever night it comes up so fingers crossed.

Bob: Looking forward to it! Have there been any other teams that have stood out for you in the match threads or posters that you like the look of?

FootyGuy: In my first season, I've found teams to be either engaging, good reading or neither. The Hawks were engaging the 2 times we played them, the Furies always had something to say, the Wonders and the Royals definitely had something to say to NaturalDisaster, the Bombers > Dragons > Swamprats are all verying degrees of "us against them" mentality, while the Roys, Demons, Bears and Gumbies were a good read that I forget what happened in those threads. Would love another go at the Demons though, hopefully the chat about the AFL Dees doesn't dominate the thread again.

Bob: Have you clashed with teams, or have found a nemesis yet?

FootyGuy: I think if you see my match thread for the Warriors-Dragons I did in Round 13, you'll see how I think about them. They were more subdued that time around, might have been the Rebecca Black post that was stickied but at least they more tolerable. The Swamprats were on the same level of "when will the week end" but the Dragons remind you that they're there every time you log on.

As for players, well let's have a think;
There's you, Bastyy, Chipmunk, GremioPower, GWS Goose, Santoz and serial_thrilla.
Now, since the vote went for 2 weeks with the vote so close, I can assume that the final vote was 4-3 meaning, out of the 7, there are 4 people I can consider my "nemesis".

Now, after much consideration, it's probably not wise to guess which 4 are a part of serial_thrilla's utterly pretentious, incompetent drongoes (a.k.a. S.T.U.P.I.D.) with the limited time we've had together. And since they clearly don't want to out themselves, I just have to leave at "They know who they are and they don't care what I think".

Bob: Oof! I don't want to name names because I'm an absolute professional, so we'll leave that there. To their credit though they eventually saw the light. Who else do you think will win the Torch of the Season, and the overall Rising Star? Reckon you’re a shot? What do the stats tell you?

FootyGuy: I don't think I'm in with a shot, I don't think there are many people in with a shot. The Bears trio in guero, Muddiemoose and tony pump up each other's stats to make it look like they're more active than what they actually are, you have the edgelords in BLUEALLTHRU and kickthething too busy being annoying little mosquitoes, the ones in omgfridge, RobR, Supersuns and T2B_ who are one trick ponies with their schtick...

I'd have to say that it's a 3 way race between PMBangers, Mister M and MC Bad Genius. I keep forgetting that these 3 are still rookies. They are active, a great read, can seem washed up at times and my guess to dominate the vote.

Reasons to vote for me though manangatang? I'm good at qooty, great at stats work and, at times, I can be great at banter. It's definitely my weakest aspect but I'd still call myself a triple threat of sorts. At least I'd call myself that more than these posers.



You certainly are! Congrats again FootyGuy13, here's your miniature novelty trophy. Let's immortalise the occasion with a selfie.



Last call for Torch nominees! Think you're worthy of joining FootyGuy13 and the other 14 rookie shitposters? Well hope you put the effort in last week, because the regular season is done. If you'll excuse me, I have one final nominee to help decide.

 

[serial_thrilla]

FootyGuy13 - for you reference, the votes in R13 were actually:

2 - sausageroll (Tonga Bob, GWS Goose)
1 - FootyGuy13 (serial_thrilla)
Everyone else = abstain

I fought the good fight, but couldn't get you over the line that week.

 

[Tonga Bob]

FootyGuy13 - for you reference, the votes in R13 were actually:

2 - sausageroll (Tonga Bob, GWS Goose)
1 - FootyGuy13 (serial_thrilla)
Everyone else = abstain

I fought the good fight, but couldn't get you over the line that week.

sausageroll was due.

 

[GremioPower]

FootyGuy13 - for you reference, the votes in R13 were actually:

2 - sausageroll (Tonga Bob, GWS Goose)
1 - FootyGuy13 (serial_thrilla)
Everyone else = abstain

I fought the good fight, but couldn't get you over the line that week.

 

[omgfridge]

Glad to see the SFA charity reaching out and giving even some of our less talented rookies a nomination.

Congrats FootyGuy13

 

[sausageroll]

sausageroll was due.

overdue

 

[GremioPower]

ROUND 16
THE NOMINEES ​

In this last round, we have no option but going straight to the interview. Therefore, no nominee will be announced, and any justification will be published.

Stay tuned!

---

WHO IS GOING TO BE THIS WEEK'S “TORCH”?​

 

[PMBangers]

ROUND 16
THE NOMINEES ​

In this last round, we have no option but going straight to the interview. Therefore, no nominee will be announced, and any justification will be published.

Stay tuned!

---

WHO IS GOING TO BE THIS WEEK'S “TORCH”?​

Shaking with anticipation

 

[GremioPower]

Shaking with anticipation

That’s the spirit!!

 

[PMBangers]

That’s the spirit!!

pleasemake the announcement, I need to shave and the shaking is making it difficult

 

[GremioPower]

pleasemake the announcement, I need to shave and the shaking is making it difficult

The ball is on Tonga Bob ’s court. As soon as he is done with the interview, we will announce it.

My beard is long, too.

 

[PMBangers]

The ball is on Tonga Bob ’s court. As soon as he is done with the interview, we will announce it.

My beard is long, too.

Beard? I'm shaving my toes

 

[Tonga Bob]

pleasemake the announcement, I need to shave and the shaking is making it difficult

Stop drinking those syrup slushies then.

 

[Tonga Bob]

The ball is on Tonga Bob ’s court. As soon as he is done with the interview, we will announce it.

My beard is long, too.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Here I was hoping for a battle royale to see which un-nominated rookies would enter the Cage of Death and shitpost their way to the final nomination. But here is what happened:



One bloke battling a tumbleweed. So please give it up for the final Torch nominee - tumbleweed I mean kickthething from the Baghdad Bombers!



I sat down with kickthething and his captain Antonio BlueVein who was still here from the earlier Gun interview with Hai_Newman. Took a while to get Newman out the door though:



First up it was the head Bomber:

Bob: Afternoon Tony. You haven't actually left the couch all week, poor Chipmunk has had to lift your feet to vacuum under you. Earlier we were talking about Hai_Newman and Guns, and now we're talking about kickthething and Torches. You're playing finals, it's a sunny 23 degrees in Baghdad today, and the Bombers have received eight individual Gun or Torch nominations for the season which is the most of any club. Tell me what's going through your head?

ABV:

Bob: Congrats on getting kickthething to the Bombers. Can you please remind me of his back story?

ABV: I think he may be one of cadsky's love children, but his back story is pretty hairy.

Bob: Whoa. That explains the fist swallowing then. What has his posting style been like?

ABV: KTT has been an outstanding addition to a formidable posting unit, and you just never know what you are going to get with him. If you’d like to get him naked, grease him up with beers and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, preferably golf-related nothings.

Bob: Nah I'm good. You said earlier this week that you're happy with the many rookies you have. Is there room for more in season 31, and if so how are your plans going to get a new rookie batch in the Abdu door?

ABV: Absolutely there is room for more, Bobby. We are currently interviewing applicants as we speak, and the signs are promising.

Bob: Lastly Tony, what are your plans for season 31? Word on the street is that you'll be handing over the reins of the Bombers to a certain Goldfields-based campaignerer. Are you happy to sit back and let him be the lightning rod, or are you seeking a fresh challenge?

ABV: The best part about Sweet is you never know what’s around the corner. Right now I’m concentrating on hopefully getting a few finals wins under our belts, and the rest of the shininininingans will take care of themselves.

You do know the Bombers are always planning, don’t you? They don’t call us the Masters of Mischief for nothing.

That’ll be $600.

Cheque's in the mail. Best of luck in the finals Tony, you may now leave the couch. Let's now turn to the final rookie nominee:

Bob: Welcome back kickthething. It's been a while since you were last here for your Gun nomination, so long ago that you had a different captain. Please remind me what path you took to get to the SFA, and where did you first hear about it?

KTT: Hey Bob, to be honest I cant believe its taken this bloody long, I have layered threads with absolute gold this year. How I got here, well I was coerced by cadsky to join using false promises and having to promise to make him look good. That was when it all started for me, and you know what, cadsky still has not kept his end of the bargain.

Bob: What are your impressions of the place now you've been around a while? Are Antonio BlueVein & the Bombers looking after you?

KTT: I like the place. I find it highly amusing and a great place for getting away from the pressures of running the isles of Bunnings each day, and to prove I work at Bunnings I made a little video. Antonio BlueVein is doing an OK job holding the fort for Metalcrusher, his gif skills are coming along nicely but he doesn’t share his dumplings which is a slight on his leadership. As you would know, along with ABV we have SFA royalty at the Bombers, so Tony Lynn 15 , TheCoach16 Santoz etc etc etc the list goes on, you can't go wrong, all the Bombers are very welcoming, particularly in the showers post game, speaking of which I would like to give MITS a shout out.

Bob: How does Tony's leadership compare with that of former skipper WaynesWorld19? And how do you see it changing once, if the ruours are to be believed, Metalcrusher assumes the position next season?

KTT: Well, I didn't realise we had a skipper before ABV, I always assumed he was the man so have not noticed any real changes, actually, he did share dumplings earlier in the season so maybe leadership has impacted him a little bit. Metalcrusher is a great leader already and will be even better next season surrounded by the talent at the Bombers. Anyone who has multiple beer fridges in his garage is the right man for me.

Bob: How do you prepare for a match thread?

KTT: I get a vibe for it and wait for an appropriate opening to jump in, sometimes its early, sometimes its late, but one thing is for sure, I was told they start Wednesday so can people stop starting them early I mean we had a Sunday night start for one week, there needs to be reflection time post game and these quick turnarounds are taxing. Oh, and after advice from ClarkeM I am now working on my multi quote skills.

Bob: What would you like to achieve off field during your SFA career? Have you ventured into the world of media yet?

KTT: Not yet, I think you need to earn your stripes before you go down media street, too many make the mistake of heading there too soon. In any case, its hard to top the Steamer of the Week thread so I need to ensure I have something special if I am heading that way. There is some great action there so I don’t want to over saturate it, we have already seen some flops. Of course, being a Bomber the media bar is set remarkably high with Tony Lynn 15 producing an all time HOF thread this season.

Bob: Have there been any other teams that have stood out for you in the match threads or posters that you like the look of?

KTT: Teams – Not really. Posters, I cant help but like the wit and total lack of filter that BLUEALLTHRU brings, he always tells it is and is a master barman to boot. Also, my music mentor Genghis Tron is someone I always get a good chuckle from, albeit he has introduced me to tunes that I can honestly say I would never have heard otherwise, it is a shame he did that.

Bob: Have you clashed with teams, or have found a nemesis yet?

KTT: My posting is sometimes too cerebral for other teams and they miss the gold. I haven’t really clashed too much however most other teams have too few really involved posters in our threads, we get some who boycott them apparently, can you believe that? Posters who sook it up in two seconds and take their bat and ball don’t endear themselves to me. Nemesis hmmm not that I am aware of, but I am looking so any one wanting to apply, let me know.

Bob: Finally, who else do you think will win the Torch of the Year, and the overall Rising Star? Reckon you’re a shot?

KTT: I would say without hesitation the rookie that has bought the most to the SFA in season 30 is Kilroy. He has done fantastic things with #TubeRadio and done things with humility which most of the other rookies could do to take a lesson from. Just take a peek at the “manang's Yelling at Rookies” thread and you will see what I mean, a big bunch of try hards there. Of course, I will be a close second.



'Cerebral' doing a fair bit of heavy lifting there mate. Anywho, congrats once again kickthething and here's your miniature novelty trophy.

Sixteen rounds, thirty two nominations. Congratulation to everyone recognised. Stay tuned for the end of season Rising Star awards which includes the Pyre Award for Outstanding Rookie Contribution to Match Thread Shitposting, the Torch Guard for Still Pretty Good Rookie Contributions to Match Thread Shitposting But Not Quite Good Enough, and the overall sausageroll medal for the Rising Star of season 30.

But for now from the Nominee's Couch, this is Obscure Internet Forum T-Grade Celebrity Tonga Bob signing off.

 

[Chipmunk]

Says his posting is too cerebral

Doesn’t do Tigerturbulance Fact or Crap


Congrats!

 

[Cadsky]

View attachment 1015259
View attachment 1015265

Here I was hoping for a battle royale to see which un-nominated rookies would enter the Cage of Death and shitpost their way to the final nomination. But here is what happened:

View attachment 1015338

One bloke battling a tumbleweed. So please give it up for the final Torch nominee - tumbleweed I mean kickthething from the Baghdad Bombers!

View attachment 1015407

I sat down with kickthething and his captain Antonio BlueVein who was still here from the earlier Gun interview with Hai_Newman. Took a while to get Newman out the door though:

View attachment 1015413

First up it was the head Bomber:

Bob: Afternoon Tony. You haven't actually left the couch all week, poor Chipmunk has had to lift your feet to vacuum under you. Earlier we were talking about Hai_Newman and Guns, and now we're talking about kickthething and Torches. You're playing finals, it's a sunny 23 degrees in Baghdad today, and the Bombers have received eight individual Gun or Torch nominations for the season which is the most of any club. Tell me what's going through your head?

ABV:

Bob: Congrats on getting kickthething to the Bombers. Can you please remind me of his back story?

ABV: I think he may be one of cadsky's love children, but his back story is pretty hairy.

Bob: Whoa. That explains the fist swallowing then. What has his posting style been like?

ABV: KTT has been an outstanding addition to a formidable posting unit, and you just never know what you are going to get with him. If you’d like to get him naked, grease him up with beers and whisper sweet nothings in his ear, preferably golf-related nothings.

Bob: Nah I'm good. You said earlier this week that you're happy with the many rookies you have. Is there room for more in season 31, and if so how are your plans going to get a new rookie batch in the Abdu door?

ABV: Absolutely there is room for more, Bobby. We are currently interviewing applicants as we speak, and the signs are promising.

Bob: Lastly Tony, what are your plans for season 31? Word on the street is that you'll be handing over the reins of the Bombers to a certain Goldfields-based campaignerer. Are you happy to sit back and let him be the lightning rod, or are you seeking a fresh challenge?

ABV: The best part about Sweet is you never know what’s around the corner. Right now I’m concentrating on hopefully getting a few finals wins under our belts, and the rest of the shininininingans will take care of themselves.

You do know the Bombers are always planning, don’t you? They don’t call us the Masters of Mischief for nothing.

That’ll be $600.

Cheque's in the mail. Best of luck in the finals Tony, you may now leave the couch. Let's now turn to the final rookie nominee:

Bob: Welcome back kickthething. It's been a while since you were last here for your Gun nomination, so long ago that you had a different captain. Please remind me what path you took to get to the SFA, and where did you first hear about it?

KTT: Hey Bob, to be honest I cant believe its taken this bloody long, I have layered threads with absolute gold this year. How I got here, well I was coerced by cadsky to join using false promises and having to promise to make him look good. That was when it all started for me, and you know what, cadsky still has not kept his end of the bargain.

Bob: What are your impressions of the place now you've been around a while? Are Antonio BlueVein & the Bombers looking after you?

KTT: I like the place. I find it highly amusing and a great place for getting away from the pressures of running the isles of Bunnings each day, and to prove I work at Bunnings I made a little video. Antonio BlueVein is doing an OK job holding the fort for Metalcrusher, his gif skills are coming along nicely but he doesn’t share his dumplings which is a slight on his leadership. As you would know, along with ABV we have SFA royalty at the Bombers, so Tony Lynn 15 , TheCoach16 Santoz etc etc etc the list goes on, you can't go wrong, all the Bombers are very welcoming, particularly in the showers post game, speaking of which I would like to give MITS a shout out.

Bob: How does Tony's leadership compare with that of former skipper WaynesWorld19? And how do you see it changing once, if the ruours are to be believed, Metalcrusher assumes the position next season?

KTT: Well, I didn't realise we had a skipper before ABV, I always assumed he was the man so have not noticed any real changes, actually, he did share dumplings earlier in the season so maybe leadership has impacted him a little bit. Metalcrusher is a great leader already and will be even better next season surrounded by the talent at the Bombers. Anyone who has multiple beer fridges in his garage is the right man for me.

Bob: How do you prepare for a match thread?

KTT: I get a vibe for it and wait for an appropriate opening to jump in, sometimes its early, sometimes its late, but one thing is for sure, I was told they start Wednesday so can people stop starting them early I mean we had a Sunday night start for one week, there needs to be reflection time post game and these quick turnarounds are taxing. Oh, and after advice from ClarkeM I am now working on my multi quote skills.

Bob: What would you like to achieve off field during your SFA career? Have you ventured into the world of media yet?

KTT: Not yet, I think you need to earn your stripes before you go down media street, too many make the mistake of heading there too soon. In any case, its hard to top the Steamer of the Week thread so I need to ensure I have something special if I am heading that way. There is some great action there so I don’t want to over saturate it, we have already seen some flops. Of course, being a Bomber the media bar is set remarkably high with Tony Lynn 15 producing an all time HOF thread this season.

Bob: Have there been any other teams that have stood out for you in the match threads or posters that you like the look of?

KTT: Teams – Not really. Posters, I cant help but like the wit and total lack of filter that BLUEALLTHRU brings, he always tells it is and is a master barman to boot. Also, my music mentor Genghis Tron is someone I always get a good chuckle from, albeit he has introduced me to tunes that I can honestly say I would never have heard otherwise, it is a shame he did that.

Bob: Have you clashed with teams, or have found a nemesis yet?

KTT: My posting is sometimes too cerebral for other teams and they miss the gold. I haven’t really clashed too much however most other teams have too few really involved posters in our threads, we get some who boycott them apparently, can you believe that? Posters who sook it up in two seconds and take their bat and ball don’t endear themselves to me. Nemesis hmmm not that I am aware of, but I am looking so any one wanting to apply, let me know.

Bob: Finally, who else do you think will win the Torch of the Year, and the overall Rising Star? Reckon you’re a shot?

KTT: I would say without hesitation the rookie that has bought the most to the SFA in season 30 is Kilroy. He has done fantastic things with #TubeRadio and done things with humility which most of the other rookies could do to take a lesson from. Just take a peek at the “manang's Yelling at Rookies” thread and you will see what I mean, a big bunch of try hards there. Of course, I will be a close second.

View attachment 1015423

'Cerebral' doing a fair bit of heavy lifting there mate. Anywho, congrats once again kickthething and here's your miniature novelty trophy.

Sixteen rounds, thirty two nominations. Congratulation to everyone recognised. Stay tuned for the end of season Rising Star awards which includes the Pyre Award for Outstanding Rookie Contribution to Match Thread Shitposting, the Torch Guard for Still Pretty Good Rookie Contributions to Match Thread Shitposting But Not Quite Good Enough, and the overall sausageroll medal for the Rising Star of season 30.

But for now from the Nominee's Couch, this is Obscure Internet Forum T-Grade Celebrity Tonga Bob signing off.

View attachment 1015431

Congrats kickthething
I told you that my payment has performance clauses yeah? It's in the fine print on page 762 of the contract you signed. Don't worry, I'm sure Antonio BlueVein will be happy to share some of his dumplings with you

 

[GremioPower]

By club (8/12): BOM, 3; DRA, 3; LVB, 3; ROY, 3; CIW, 1; FUR, 1; GUM, 1; HAW, 1.

Most-Awarded Rookie: sausageroll, 16 (he won every round!).

 

[kickthething]

Congrats kickthething
I told you that my payment has performance clauses yeah? It's in the fine print on page 762 of the contract you signed. Don't worry, I'm sure Antonio BlueVein will be happy to share some of his dumplings with you

Who reads fine print?

 

[Cadsky]

Who reads fine print?

Not you clearly

 

[kickthething]

Not you clearly

That’s for nerds

 

[GremioPower]

That’s for nerds

Santoz is proud.