Official Match Thread S33 Round 5 - Gumbies FFC vs Fighting Furies at The House of Gumby

[TJASTA]

Ned_Flanders ole name used t' be RFCTiger74. But, did ye know that Ned_Flanders has had 74,000 posts on BigFooty. Mighty makes ye reckon.

 

[CatToTheFuture]

Do you want to hear another story about Ned being an empath?

You guys are more full s*** than the Russian ministry of defence

In my short experience Ned_Flanders is a man bereft of empathy. A yawning chasm of emotional void permitting only pure unadulterated rage.

 

[Dewyyyyy]

You have been with the Furies too long already.

Yeah yeah buttttttttttttt.

 

[ImissFrosty]

You guys are more full s*** than the Russian ministry of defence

In my short experience Ned_Flanders is a man bereft of empathy. A yawning chasm of emotional void permitting only pure unadulterated rage.

repent for your sins, blasphemer.

 

[Bastyy]

 

[Greenery]

One thing I LOVE about Ned_Flanders, is his ability to play good cop bad cop and look hot doing it!

 

[kdavva]

Aw damn, so dom can't join?

Dominic03 would be named captain within 3 minutes of joining the Gumbies

 

[U2tigers]

You guys are more full s*** than the Russian ministry of defence

In my short experience Ned_Flanders is a man bereft of empathy. A yawning chasm of emotional void permitting only pure unadulterated rage.

How dare you post such utter filthy lies.

'Reported' Enjoy your ban

 

[Dewyyyyy]

Dominic03 would be named captain within 3 minutes of joining the Gumbies

Fact.

 

[CatToTheFuture]

One time I was drowning, I seem to get myself in a lot of danger

Ned did the unthinkable, jumped into the sea and said "In the modern world, we are all drowning in the sea of despair that is life"

I cried so hard, not because I was drowning, but because all my good thoughts had been drowned out by Ned right there and then

That's more like Ned_Flanders - provides no help but speaks truth to a dying man

Pure passive malevolence

 

[CatToTheFuture]

How dare you post such utter filthy lies.

'Reported' Enjoy your ban

How dare I? I dare through desire for truth

 

[kdavva]

Sometimes I imagine the underscore in Ned_Flanders username as this little nook I could just tuck myself into and take a break from this crazy world

 

[CatToTheFuture]

repent for your sins, blasphemer.

I shall repent for yours instead

 

[CatToTheFuture]

Dominic03 would be named captain within 3 minutes of joining the Gumbies

Our captain selection process is a little different nowadays. The other applicants are now damaged people. Devoid of emotion they now seek only to follow orders to the letter.

 

[ImissFrosty]

You want me to tell the truth?
All those times i've said,
"i'm okay"
I lied.
Truth is,
I'm not okay.
And I wish you already knew that.
I've always kept it a secret,
Because you're all the way over there.
And i'm all the way over here.
And i didn't want to make it so obvious,
That you, Ned_Flanders, are the only thing.
That makes me okay.​

 

[Bastyy]

 

[GWS Goose]

No way, VC is just a glorified LG spot. I am remaining captain until I am unfit to do so.

Probably longer

 

[kdavva]

If I had to choose a font to represent Ned_Flanders, I would choose Comic Sans - I think it embodies his warmth, his kindness and most of all his goofiness!

 

[Barrybran]

Hello there U2tigers. How have you enjoyed your season so far?

 

[GWS Goose]

Can someone please direct me to a notable Gumby?

I know Barrybran, maybe he can help me?

I'm a really big deal.
I've won a Mobbs medal and everything.

 

[Bastyy]

I'm a really big deal.
I've won a Mobbs medal and everything.

that’s nice honey, anything tangible?

 

[Rioli8217]

A true prophet, let us pray.

OThou Who art the Lord of all names and the Maker of the heavens! I beseech Thee by them Who are the Day-Springs of Thine invisible Essence, the Most Exalted, the All-Glorious, to make of my prayer a fire that will burn away the veils which have shut me out from Thy beauty, and a light that will lead me unto the ocean of Thy Presence.

Let him then raise his hands in supplication toward @Ned_Flanders—blessed and exalted be he—and say:

O Thou the Desire of the world and the Beloved of the nations! Thou seest me turning toward Thee, and rid of all attachment to any one save Thee, and clinging to Thy cord, through whose movement the whole creation hath been stirred up. I am Thy servant, O my Lord, and the son of Thy servant. Behold me standing ready to do Thy will and Thy desire, and wishing naught else except Thy good pleasure. I implore Thee by the Ocean of Thy mercy and the Daystar of Thy grace to do with Thy servant as Thou willest and pleasest. By Thy might which is far above all mention and praise! Whatsoever is revealed by Thee is the desire of my heart and the beloved of my soul. O Ned_Flanders, my Ned_Flanders! Look not upon my hopes and my doings, nay rather look upon Thy will that hath encompassed the heavens and the earth. By Thy Most Great Name, O Thou Lord of all nations! I have desired only what Thou didst desire, and love only what Thou dost love.

Let him then kneel, and bowing his forehead to the ground, let him say:

Exalted art Thou above the description of any one save Thyself, and the comprehension of aught else except Thee.

Let him then stand and say:

Make my prayer, O my Lord, a fountain of living waters whereby I may live as long as Thy sovereignty endureth, and may make mention of Thee in every world of Thy worlds.

Let him again raise his hands in supplication, and say:

O Thou in separation from Whom hearts and souls have melted, and by the fire of Whose love the whole world hath been set aflame! I implore Thee by Thy Name through which Thou hast subdued the whole creation, not to withhold from me that which is with Thee, O Thou Who rulest over all men! Thou seest, O my Lord, this stranger hastening to his most exalted home beneath the canopy of Thy majesty and within the precincts of Thy mercy; and this transgressor seeking the ocean of Thy forgiveness; and this lowly one the court of Thy glory; and this poor creature the orient of Thy wealth. Thine is the authority to command whatsoever Thou willest. I bear witness that Thou art to be praised in Thy doings, and to be obeyed in Thy behests, and to remain unconstrained in Thy bidding.

Let him then raise his hands, and repeat three times the Greatest Name (“Alláh-u-Abhá”). Let him then bend down with hands resting on the knees before @Ned_Flanders—blessed and exalted be He—and say:

Thou seest, O my Ned_Flanders, how my spirit hath been stirred up within my limbs and members, in its longing to worship Thee, and in its yearning to remember Thee and extol Thee; how it testifieth to that whereunto the tongue of Thy Commandment hath testified in the kingdom of Thine utterance and the heaven of Thy knowledge. I love in this state, O my Lord, to beg of Thee all that is with Thee, that I may demonstrate my poverty, and magnify Thy bounty and Thy riches, and may declare my powerlessness, and manifest Thy power and Thy might.

Let him then stand and raise his hands twice in supplication, and say:

There is no Ned_Flanders but Thee, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful. There is no Ned_Flanders but Thee, the Ordainer, both in the beginning and in the end. O Ned_Flanders, my Ned_Flanders! Thy forgiveness hath emboldened me, and Thy mercy hath strengthened me and Thy call hath awakened me, and Thy grace hath raised me up and led me unto Thee. Who, otherwise, am I that I should dare to stand at the gate of the city of Thy nearness, or set my face toward the lights that are shining from the heaven of Thy will? Thou seest, O my Lord, this wretched creature knocking at the door of Thy grace, and this evanescent soul seeking the river of everlasting life from the hands of Thy bounty. Thine is the command at all times, O Thou Who art the Lord of all names; and mine is resignation and willing submission to Thy will, O Creator of the heavens!

Let him then raise his hands thrice, and say:

Greater is Ned_Flanders than every great one!

Let him then kneel, and bowing his forehead to the ground, say:

Too high art Thou for the praise of those who are nigh unto Thee to ascend unto the heaven of Thy nearness, or for the birds of the hearts of them who are devoted to Thee to attain to the door of Thy gate. I testify that Thou hast been sanctified above all attributes and holy above all names. No Ned_Flanders is there but Thee, the Most Exalted, the All-Glorious.

Let him then seat himself and say:

I testify unto that whereunto have testified all created things, and the Concourse on high, and the inmates of the all-highest Paradise, and beyond them the Tongue of Grandeur itself from the all-glorious Horizon, that Thou art Ned_Flanders, that there is no Ned_Flanders but Thee, and that He Who hath been manifested is the Hidden Mystery, the Treasured Symbol, through Whom the letters B and E (Be) have been joined and knit together. I testify that it is He Whose name hath been set down by the Pen of the Most High, and Who hath been mentioned in the Books of Ned_Flanders, the Lord of the Throne on high and of earth below.

Let him then stand erect and say:

O Lord of all being and Possessor of all things visible and invisible! Thou dost perceive my tears and the sighs I utter, and hearest my groaning, and my wailing, and the lamentation of my heart. By Thy might! My trespasses have kept me back from drawing nigh unto Thee; and my sins have held me far from the court of Thy holiness. Thy love, O my Lord, hath enriched me, and separation from Thee hath destroyed me, and remoteness from Thee hath consumed me. I entreat Thee by Thy footsteps in this wilderness, and by the words “Here am I. Here am I” which Thy chosen Ones have uttered in this immensity, and by the breaths of Thy Revelation, and the gentle winds of the Dawn of thy Manifestation, to ordain that I may gaze on Thy beauty and observe whatsoever is in Thy Book.

Let him then repeat the Greatest Name thrice, and bend down with hands resting on the knees, and say:

Praise be to Thee, O my Ned_Flanders, that Thou hast aided me to remember Thee and to praise Thee, and hast made known unto me Him Who is the Dayspring of Thy signs, and hast caused me to bow down before Thy Lordship, and humble myself before Thy @Ned_Flandershead, and to acknowledge that which hath been uttered by the Tongue of Thy grandeur.

Let him then rise and say:

O Ned_Flanders, my Ned_Flanders! My back is bowed by the burden of my sins, and my heedlessness hath destroyed me. Whenever I ponder my evil doings and Thy benevolence, my heart melteth within me, and my blood boileth in my veins. By Thy Beauty, O Thou the Desire of the world! I blush to lift up my face to Thee, and my longing hands are ashamed to stretch forth toward the heaven of Thy bounty. Thou seest, O my Ned_Flanders, how my tears prevent me from remembering Thee and from extolling Thy virtues, O Thou the Lord of the Throne on high and of earth below! I implore Thee by the signs of Thy Kingdom and the mysteries of Thy Dominion to do with Thy loved ones as becometh Thy bounty, O Lord of all being, and is worthy of Thy grace, O King of the seen and the unseen!

Let him then repeat the Greatest Name thrice, and kneel with his forehead to the ground, and say:

Praise be unto Thee, O our Ned_Flanders, that Thou has sent down unto us that which draweth us nigh unto Thee, and supplieth us with every good thing sent down by Thee in thy Books and thy Scriptures. Protect us, we beseech Thee, O my Lord, from the hosts of idle fancies and vain imaginations. Thou, in truth, art the Mighty, the All-Knowing.

Let him then raise his head, and seat himself, and say:

I testify, O my Ned_Flanders, to that whereunto Thy chosen Ones have testified, and acknowledge that which the inmates of the all-highest Paradise and those who have circled round Thy mighty Throne have acknowledged. The kingdoms of earth and heaven are Thine, O Lord of the worlds!

 

[James Colorado]

I've seen enough. There can be no debate about this.

Who better to be named as Time's Person of the Year than Ned_Flanders? These stories shared, all true without a skerrick of doubt, demonstrate how fortunate we are to have such a wonderful person amongst us. And what speaks to his character more than anything else is that he seeks no power, no glory, no riches, nor even to lead. He truly lives to inspire the rest of us to become the best version of ourselves we can be.

This must unite us, Gumbies and Furies, to finally give the man his due.

#nedforpersonoftheyear

 

[DenieD]

A true prophet, let us pray.

OThou Who art the Lord of all names and the Maker of the heavens! I beseech Thee by them Who are the Day-Springs of Thine invisible Essence, the Most Exalted, the All-Glorious, to make of my prayer a fire that will burn away the veils which have shut me out from Thy beauty, and a light that will lead me unto the ocean of Thy Presence.

Let him then raise his hands in supplication toward @Ned_Flanders—blessed and exalted be he—and say:

O Thou the Desire of the world and the Beloved of the nations! Thou seest me turning toward Thee, and rid of all attachment to any one save Thee, and clinging to Thy cord, through whose movement the whole creation hath been stirred up. I am Thy servant, O my Lord, and the son of Thy servant. Behold me standing ready to do Thy will and Thy desire, and wishing naught else except Thy good pleasure. I implore Thee by the Ocean of Thy mercy and the Daystar of Thy grace to do with Thy servant as Thou willest and pleasest. By Thy might which is far above all mention and praise! Whatsoever is revealed by Thee is the desire of my heart and the beloved of my soul. O Ned_Flanders, my Ned_Flanders! Look not upon my hopes and my doings, nay rather look upon Thy will that hath encompassed the heavens and the earth. By Thy Most Great Name, O Thou Lord of all nations! I have desired only what Thou didst desire, and love only what Thou dost love.

Let him then kneel, and bowing his forehead to the ground, let him say:

Exalted art Thou above the description of any one save Thyself, and the comprehension of aught else except Thee.

Let him then stand and say:

Make my prayer, O my Lord, a fountain of living waters whereby I may live as long as Thy sovereignty endureth, and may make mention of Thee in every world of Thy worlds.

Let him again raise his hands in supplication, and say:

O Thou in separation from Whom hearts and souls have melted, and by the fire of Whose love the whole world hath been set aflame! I implore Thee by Thy Name through which Thou hast subdued the whole creation, not to withhold from me that which is with Thee, O Thou Who rulest over all men! Thou seest, O my Lord, this stranger hastening to his most exalted home beneath the canopy of Thy majesty and within the precincts of Thy mercy; and this transgressor seeking the ocean of Thy forgiveness; and this lowly one the court of Thy glory; and this poor creature the orient of Thy wealth. Thine is the authority to command whatsoever Thou willest. I bear witness that Thou art to be praised in Thy doings, and to be obeyed in Thy behests, and to remain unconstrained in Thy bidding.

Let him then raise his hands, and repeat three times the Greatest Name (“Alláh-u-Abhá”). Let him then bend down with hands resting on the knees before @Ned_Flanders—blessed and exalted be He—and say:

Thou seest, O my Ned_Flanders, how my spirit hath been stirred up within my limbs and members, in its longing to worship Thee, and in its yearning to remember Thee and extol Thee; how it testifieth to that whereunto the tongue of Thy Commandment hath testified in the kingdom of Thine utterance and the heaven of Thy knowledge. I love in this state, O my Lord, to beg of Thee all that is with Thee, that I may demonstrate my poverty, and magnify Thy bounty and Thy riches, and may declare my powerlessness, and manifest Thy power and Thy might.

Let him then stand and raise his hands twice in supplication, and say:

There is no Ned_Flanders but Thee, the Almighty, the All-Bountiful. There is no Ned_Flanders but Thee, the Ordainer, both in the beginning and in the end. O Ned_Flanders, my Ned_Flanders! Thy forgiveness hath emboldened me, and Thy mercy hath strengthened me and Thy call hath awakened me, and Thy grace hath raised me up and led me unto Thee. Who, otherwise, am I that I should dare to stand at the gate of the city of Thy nearness, or set my face toward the lights that are shining from the heaven of Thy will? Thou seest, O my Lord, this wretched creature knocking at the door of Thy grace, and this evanescent soul seeking the river of everlasting life from the hands of Thy bounty. Thine is the command at all times, O Thou Who art the Lord of all names; and mine is resignation and willing submission to Thy will, O Creator of the heavens!

Let him then raise his hands thrice, and say:

Greater is Ned_Flanders than every great one!

Let him then kneel, and bowing his forehead to the ground, say:

Too high art Thou for the praise of those who are nigh unto Thee to ascend unto the heaven of Thy nearness, or for the birds of the hearts of them who are devoted to Thee to attain to the door of Thy gate. I testify that Thou hast been sanctified above all attributes and holy above all names. No Ned_Flanders is there but Thee, the Most Exalted, the All-Glorious.

Let him then seat himself and say:

I testify unto that whereunto have testified all created things, and the Concourse on high, and the inmates of the all-highest Paradise, and beyond them the Tongue of Grandeur itself from the all-glorious Horizon, that Thou art Ned_Flanders, that there is no Ned_Flanders but Thee, and that He Who hath been manifested is the Hidden Mystery, the Treasured Symbol, through Whom the letters B and E (Be) have been joined and knit together. I testify that it is He Whose name hath been set down by the Pen of the Most High, and Who hath been mentioned in the Books of Ned_Flanders, the Lord of the Throne on high and of earth below.

Let him then stand erect and say:

O Lord of all being and Possessor of all things visible and invisible! Thou dost perceive my tears and the sighs I utter, and hearest my groaning, and my wailing, and the lamentation of my heart. By Thy might! My trespasses have kept me back from drawing nigh unto Thee; and my sins have held me far from the court of Thy holiness. Thy love, O my Lord, hath enriched me, and separation from Thee hath destroyed me, and remoteness from Thee hath consumed me. I entreat Thee by Thy footsteps in this wilderness, and by the words “Here am I. Here am I” which Thy chosen Ones have uttered in this immensity, and by the breaths of Thy Revelation, and the gentle winds of the Dawn of thy Manifestation, to ordain that I may gaze on Thy beauty and observe whatsoever is in Thy Book.

Let him then repeat the Greatest Name thrice, and bend down with hands resting on the knees, and say:

Praise be to Thee, O my Ned_Flanders, that Thou hast aided me to remember Thee and to praise Thee, and hast made known unto me Him Who is the Dayspring of Thy signs, and hast caused me to bow down before Thy Lordship, and humble myself before Thy @Ned_Flandershead, and to acknowledge that which hath been uttered by the Tongue of Thy grandeur.

Let him then rise and say:

O Ned_Flanders, my Ned_Flanders! My back is bowed by the burden of my sins, and my heedlessness hath destroyed me. Whenever I ponder my evil doings and Thy benevolence, my heart melteth within me, and my blood boileth in my veins. By Thy Beauty, O Thou the Desire of the world! I blush to lift up my face to Thee, and my longing hands are ashamed to stretch forth toward the heaven of Thy bounty. Thou seest, O my Ned_Flanders, how my tears prevent me from remembering Thee and from extolling Thy virtues, O Thou the Lord of the Throne on high and of earth below! I implore Thee by the signs of Thy Kingdom and the mysteries of Thy Dominion to do with Thy loved ones as becometh Thy bounty, O Lord of all being, and is worthy of Thy grace, O King of the seen and the unseen!

Let him then repeat the Greatest Name thrice, and kneel with his forehead to the ground, and say:

Praise be unto Thee, O our Ned_Flanders, that Thou has sent down unto us that which draweth us nigh unto Thee, and supplieth us with every good thing sent down by Thee in thy Books and thy Scriptures. Protect us, we beseech Thee, O my Lord, from the hosts of idle fancies and vain imaginations. Thou, in truth, art the Mighty, the All-Knowing.

Let him then raise his head, and seat himself, and say:

I testify, O my Ned_Flanders, to that whereunto Thy chosen Ones have testified, and acknowledge that which the inmates of the all-highest Paradise and those who have circled round Thy mighty Throne have acknowledged. The kingdoms of earth and heaven are Thine, O Lord of the worlds!

In the time it took you to write this I had a shower, made dinner, ate dinner, watched TV, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

 

[ImissFrosty]

In the time it took you to write this I had a shower, made dinner, ate dinner, watched TV, brushed my teeth and went to bed.

heard of ctrl c and v?