Mega Thread The inevitable Essendon verdict megathread - not convicted, but the circus rolls on

[Haduken]

So we all know there will be one, assuming the servers even survive the announcement.

You should probably stick to this thread if your intent is to post any of the following...

• You are shocked to be sitting here and angry that Essendon has effectively 'gotten away with it!' You are also someone who struggled with concepts like 'evidence' and 'legal process' and 'critical thinking'.
  
• You are shocked to be sitting here and angry that Essendon has once more been screwed over by the AFL (despite the horde of somewhat dodgy practices that the club was doing under the auspices of Stephen Dank) You are probably someone that drunk deep of the blessed Kool-Aid(glory be to his greatness, may the Hird be with you!)
• You are vjknight
• Caroline Wilson has written an article about the judgement on The Age, and you are B0SK
  
• You're a Geelong, Fremantle, or Port supporter who is happy Sydney and Hawthorn get to play the same team you do and don't get a massive percentage boost advantage over you
• You're a Geelong, Fremantle, or Port supporter who is unhappy Sydney and Hawthorn get to play a weaker and different team and do get a massive percentage boost advantage over you
• You're a Richmond or Hawthorn supporter seeking to try and press the case for Cotchin and Mitchell to become the joint worst Brownlow medalists of all time.
• You're a Richmond or Hawthorn supporter upset that you cannot press the case for Cotchin and Mitchell to become the joint worst Brownlow medalists of all time.
• You've come to gloat at any of the previous groups for whatever reason you can come up with.
• You are one pissed off mod who is trying to deal with the carnage
• You're intending to vote for Jade's_ for Flog of the year 2015 because he actually, honest-to-god, wrote this: "Must have fooled some pretty important people to be in charge of a team 25 staff at one of the largest companies in Australia.
  But now that some FIFO working flog on bigfooty says im unemployable i may as well resign and go back to my unencumbered 4 bedroom house on a half acre in Camberwell sit on my $6,000 bed, take off my $900 suit and start applying for centrelink benefits.
  Luckily for me im not out of pocket for my Bachelor or Masters degrees otherwise i would have been in strife "
• You're a member of the Terror Squad and decided this was a nice hill to die on today.

So are you all ready for it*?

Its been nearly three years now. Come on Bay, make it count, make it funny, I am ready!

*

 

[iBeng]

Ya'll f**ked.

 

[Starburns_]

We were going to create a whole new one of these mega threads for 'judgement day', but writing a proper OP takes so much effort. So thanks very much to Haduken for taking the time to cover all the relevant points for us.

So just a heads up, if you start a thread on Tuesday that has no humourous troll merit and exists only for point scoring/shitfighting, it will quickly find it's way in here. Try not to cry too much if this happens, after all, we are Judge Middleton, and you don't want to be James Hird, do you?

Keep your tone awesome*, or you'll get a threadban, which means:



*other rules may follow as we think of them

 

[Glorious couch life]

 

[vjknight]

THANKYOU HAKIDOO

THANKYOU FYFIE

I HAVE MADE IT

I AM RELEVANT

HOW GOOD IS THIS

 

[Haduken]

THANKYOU HAKIDOO

THANKYOU FYFIE

I HAVE MADE IT

I AM RELEVANT

HOW GOOD IS THIS

It also means this is the only thread you can post in for the next week, so its not bad aye

 

[Beer n Skittles]

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

We were going to create a whole new one of these mega threads for 'judgement day', but writing a proper OP takes so much effort. So thanks very much to Haduken for taking the time to cover all the relevant points for us.

So just a heads up, if you start a thread on Tuesday that has no humourous merit and exists only for point scoring/shitfighting, it will quickly find it's way in here. Try not to cry too much if this happens, after all, we are Judge Middleton, and you don't want to be James Hird, do you?

Keep your tones awesome*, or you'll get a threadban, which means:

View attachment 119450

*other rules may follow as we think of them

Thanks man

 

[Baldur]

I am a St Kilda fan and will take every chance to gloat I can.

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

I am a St Kilda fan and will take every chance to gloat I can.

Will you be satisfied if their sentence is 3 weeks, given Saad's ban length

 

[go you pups]

We were going to create a whole new one of these mega threads for 'judgement day', but writing a proper OP takes so much effort. So thanks very much to Haduken for taking the time to cover all the relevant points for us.

So just a heads up, if you start a thread on Tuesday that has no humourous merit and exists only for point scoring/shitfighting, it will quickly find it's way in here. Try not to cry too much if this happens, after all, we are Judge Middleton, and you don't want to be James Hird, do you?

Keep your tone awesome*, or you'll get a threadban, which means:

View attachment 119450

*other rules may follow as we think of them

So this is like an ASADA divvy van?

 

[Starburns_]

So this is like an ASADA divvy van?

Sort of. As the OP suggests, if all you have to say is "suck shit you cheating campaigners" or "told you so", this is the thread for it. We don't need a new thread for each flog who feels that their gloating warrants one.

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

Sort of. As the OP suggests, if all you have to say is "suck shit you cheating campaigners" or "told you so", this is the thread for it. We don't need a new thread for each flog who feels that their gloating warrants one.

I have a feeling this will be the mourning thread in the end.

Sure they'll be found guilty (imo) but they'll get sfa

There will be a spike (Kings new word for the year) and it'll turn to rage once the sentence is handed out

 

[Jevy]

We were going to create a whole new one of these mega threads for 'judgement day', but writing a proper OP takes so much effort. So thanks very much to Haduken for taking the time to cover all the relevant points for us.

So just a heads up, if you start a thread on Tuesday that has no humourous merit and exists only for point scoring/shitfighting, it will quickly find it's way in here. Try not to cry too much if this happens, after all, we are Judge Middleton, and you don't want to be James Hird, do you?

Keep your tone awesome*, or you'll get a threadban, which means:

View attachment 119450

*other rules may follow as we think of them

Why, what's on Tuesday?

 

[Paul Kersey]

 

[Starburns_]

I have a feeling this will be the mourning thread in the end.

Sure they'll be found guilty (imo) but they'll get sfa

There will be a spike (Kings new word for the year) and it'll turn to rage once the sentence is handed out

I think I mentioned this as a joke on either the mods board or TLC, but that would be the funniest scenario as both sides will melt. A guilty verdict will enrage most Essendon flogs, and anything Cronulla-esque or less will enrage those expecting an outright crucifiction.

Personally, I have very little doubt they'll be found guilty, and beyond that outcome I don't particularly care, so it's all upside.

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Will you be satisfied if their sentence is 3 weeks, given Saad's ban length

**** no, those campaigners get 2 years if Saad gets a year for having a milkshake.

 

[RiverRunsDry]

The Lord approves of this thread. It puts all the deviants in one place for one easy smiting.

 

[Glorious couch life]

Just to de-pooncify things.

 

[Starburns_]

The Lord approves of this thread. It puts all the deviants in one place for one easy smiting.

Haduken is obsessed with Essendon, remember that when you do your next update.

 

[RiverRunsDry]

Haduken is obsessed with Essendon, remember that when you do your next update.

I was thinking about that. Does a self-deprecating thread count as an attack thread? I think the lulziest (and therefore best) answer is yes.

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

I think I mentioned this as a joke on either the mods board or TLC, but that would be the funniest scenario as both sides will melt. A guilty verdict will enrage most Essendon flogs, and anything Cronulla-esque or less will enrage those expecting an outright crucifiction.

Personally, I have very little doubt they'll be found guilty, and beyond that outcome I don't particularly care, so it's all upside.

I think you'll have a little melt if the punishment doesn't meet the crime

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

Haduken is obsessed with Essendon, remember that when you do your next update.

Haduken is quite honestly the front runner for FOTY 2015

 

[Starburns_]

I think you'll have a little melt if the punishment doesn't meet the crime

Guilty is guilty, regardless of what they get. My whole angle throughout this saga has been Hird getting his, a guilty verdict is all that will take, so I'll be in a good place.

Haduken is quite honestly the front runner for FOTY 2015

Not even close. J'AIDS is the frontrunner (as he always is at this time of year), difference is this year there's a few flogs who will probably make sure he's not forgotten at the time of voting. I expect Brett33 to poll a few too.

 

[RIOLIUSTAR]

Guilty is guilty, regardless of what they get. My whole angle throughout this saga has been Hird getting his, a guilty verdict is all that will take.



Not even close. J'AIDS is the frontrunner (as he always is at this time of year), difference is this year there's a few flogs who will probably make sure he's not forgotten at the time of voting. I expect Brett33 to poll a few too.

Be interesting to see what they do with Hird...I think they'll keep him and you'll then melt

Nup Haduken has Jade''''s covered coz he actually deep down cares