The old suburban grounds - worst toilets?

[Dry Rot]

This thread is inspired by this fine post:

You havn't lived. Queues in the mens public house were part of the tradition of going to the old suburban grounds.

You would queue up for 15-20 minutes, you bladder nearly bursting at the seams only to finally get a sought after standing room spot at the urinals and have a case of stage fright. Then you have an angry horde behind you, under the influence of their ample consumption of the local ale, yelling at in their coarsest tone to hurry up or they will unload it all over you. To say it created a feeling of pressure would be a massive understatement. Kicking a goal after the siren was mild in comparison.

Which of the old suburban grounds had the worst toilets? Do you have a good story?

Are the terrible dunnies just poor facilities or do they somehow echoe the home team's fans?

I've never been to the old Pies home ground, but I've heard terrible stories about its toilets.

 

[#1 Dogs Fan]

"yelling at in their coarsest tone to hurry up or they will unload it all over you."

Hahahhahah that really cracked me up!

 

[NagoyaDog]

When I was in primary school, I was so disgusted and terrified of the toilets at the Geelong Road end at the Mighty Western Oval, that I suffered "stage fright".

I don't know how I did it, but I used to hang on till I got home

 

[Chicago1]

Kardinia Park, without a doubt. The Men's toilet at the end nearest entering from the train was not covered and there always seemed to be huge puddles in front of the entrance. The composition of those puddles on a dry day made me wonder...

 

[Saltoy]

Geelong hands down. I can hardly remember what it was like to be at a suburban ground until last week. Id rather spend 25 years in a Thai prison than go to those toilets again haha

 

[bludger]

Always thought Arden Street behind the goals were pretty bad

 

[NBates]

Princess Park on the south/city side - they always STANK to high heaven.

 

[Allan Shorty]

None of these compare to Victoria Park, eastern end. They would overflow at quarter time.

The last game at VP was a case in point. At half time urine was about a centimetre deep on the floor. You waded in there. Once in, you saw blokes pissing anywhere, since the troughs were already meaningless. As I entered one bloke said to me "get your snorkelling gear on".

 

[Scroater]

Princess Park on the south/city side - they always STANK to high heaven.

Must be something about Carlton. I nominate the toilets in the pocket at the scoreboard end, but not the scoreboard pocket(scoreboard not there anymore). TV wise, the left pocket.

Where the blokes did their business was against the wall that was part of the boundary to the ground. It stunk to high heaven when you were watching the game and just as bad when you were walking around the outside the ground.

The worst part was I used to get there early when I was a kid (before the reserves started) and you would walk past it and it stunk to high heaven and no-one had had a chance to use it yet.

 

[The Boy From Brasil]

None of these compare to Victoria Park, eastern end. They would overflow at quarter time.

The last game at VP was a case in point. At half time urine was about a centimetre deep on the floor. You waded in there. Once in, you saw blokes pissing anywhere, since the troughs were already meaningless. As I entered one bloke said to me "get your snorkelling gear on".

That is what I call "taking the piss". You literally took everyone elses

Great posts by everyone. I certainly have a laugh reading them and going back down memory lane.

Its fair to say that sanitation standards wern't exactly at worlds best practise back then.

 

[JorgePosada]

Prinnies piss wall at the Social Club end or Kadinia Parks trough at the old scoreboard end. Take your pick.

 

[cammo78]

from memory our own on the doug hawkins wing weren't too flash...

 

[The Boy From Brasil]

When I was in primary school, I was so disgusted and terrified of the toilets at the Geelong Road end at the Mighty Western Oval, that I suffered "stage fright".

I don't know how I did it, but I used to hang on till I got home

Were they the ones on top of the hill in the south eastern corner?

They were always hard to get to, for the fact that they had the bar right next to them.One of the 20th centuries great architectural designs. So you would have a cast of thousands standing right next to them, so they didn't have far to go to either the bar or the toilet. They would alternate between the two, casting their eye on the action on the football ground once in a while.

 

[AlecDuncan]

Princess Park on the south/city side - they always STANK to high heaven.

Never experienced it, but the old Press Box wing was pretty bad I can tell you. The queue for the toilets was always about 50 yards and there was usually a creek of raw sewerage running back past the queue. They may as well have unzipped right there.

I think it's where I developed my bladder of steel.

 

[Cookie]

from memory our own on the doug hawkins wing weren't too flash...

If you're talking about the one at the northern end at the stand, you're absolutely right.

It was the scariest dunny anyone could venture into. I remember it from when I was a little tacker. One urinal that would stand 3 blokes shoulder to shoulder and one cubicle that at least had a door but it was always shut. I think it might have had a hand basin that doubled as a urinal.

The worst thing was the 15 Watt light globe that gave out just enough light to throw a shadow. The floor was always lined with newspapers.

 

[The Boy From Brasil]

If you're talking about the one at the northern end at the stand, you're absolutely right.

It was the scariest dunny anyone could venture into. I remember it from when I was a little tacker. One urinal that would stand 3 blokes shoulder to shoulder and one cubicle that at least had a door but it was always shut. I think it might have had a hand basin that doubled as a urinal.

The worst thing was the 15 Watt light globe that gave out just enough light to throw a shadow. The floor was always lined with newspapers.

At least at the bulldogs we were consistent.

We couldn't hit our targets out on the ground and we couldn't hit our target in the mens urinal either.

 

[mcglee]

Worst ones at Western Oval were the green tin toilets up against the 'cliff faces' as you came in from the walkbridge at the Geelong Road end in the 70s. They were eventually upgraded to brick later on for the younger ones here. They were a disgrace and were barely flushable and didn't have a full roof to begin with - great on rainy days.

Princes Park at the end where the Hawks stand met the member stand was a disgrace. I think that's the one everyone else is referring to. True that at 11:00am as you arrived for the seconds it was already putrid.

Mum always complained about the ladies at Windy Hill. She said you had to use a bucket of water to help flush them at times.

 

[barkly st.]

If you're talking about the one at the northern end at the stand, you're absolutely right.

It was the scariest dunny anyone could venture into. I remember it from when I was a little tacker. One urinal that would stand 3 blokes shoulder to shoulder and one cubicle that at least had a door but it was always shut. I think it might have had a hand basin that doubled as a urinal.

The worst thing was the 15 Watt light globe that gave out just enough light to throw a shadow. The floor was always lined with newspapers.

These were the toilets I thought of as soon as I read the thread title. Like the dunny in trainspotting.

Apparently during the ground renovations they found a mineable quantity of urea in the soil embankement at the barkly street end.

 

[krisholio14]

Nothing could possibly be worse than the toilets behind the Rush Stand at Vic Park. By the time the game started, it was already about 6 inches deep in raw sewage. It was all down hill from there.

 

[The Boy From Brasil]

The Men's toilet at the end nearest entering from the train was not covered and there always seemed to be huge puddles in front of the entrance. The composition of those puddles on a dry day made me wonder...

I wondered the same thing. Never knew if I was wading through tap water, remnants of some toxic chemical spill or stale urine of every man, woman and beast.

 

[Sween54]

My worst toilet footy related incdent was not actually at the ground, it was on the train on the way home from geelong game in the early 70's. yes why did I waste my time.

In those days they had a bar on the train, I was was busting when my turn finally came I junp into train dunny and let rip and I noticed a massive log lodge in the bowl,just staring back at me

I tried my hardest to piss it of the bowl f but it wouldn't move. I starting to panic as large drunken crowd lined up outside the door became restless. I looked at my doggies flag and for a minute though of poking it down with the stick.

As I was considering this action, there was a loud bang on the dunny door and a voice pleading with me to let them in. I took once last look at the polly waffle turned open the door and push pass the crowd screaming " Its not mine Its not mine" it was already there and headed with speed for santuary of a carrage at the front of the train.

Never been on a train to Geelong since !!

 

[Fotia2]

Clearly the worst I can remember were the ones at the east end (behind the goals) at Victoria Park. they stank, they always leaked & they were Collingwoods!!

 

[Spiritof82]

Must be something about Carlton. I nominate the toilets in the pocket at the scoreboard end, but not the scoreboard pocket(scoreboard not there anymore). TV wise, the left pocket.

Where the blokes did their business was against the wall that was part of the boundary to the ground. It stunk to high heaven when you were watching the game and just as bad when you were walking around the outside the ground.

The worst part was I used to get there early when I was a kid (before the reserves started) and you would walk past it and it stunk to high heaven and no-one had had a chance to use it yet.

Agree with you there, the old pissing wall at Caaaaaarrrrlton was the pits, but it did match up with their supporters.

 

[woofgirl]

this is all i remember of Victoria Park. Although not a toilet, there was an underpass somewhere near there and it smelt like a toilet.