Media The Rookie Hunger Games [ROUND 1]

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Barrybran said:
Too easy! Absolutely nothing. Literally nothing is going through my head. I sound cool, calm and collected, right? Nah. I'm about to ****. RIGHT. UP.


Check this out...







































Remember kids - kick the ball FORWARD
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Hmm Barrybran you nailed it!
 
Beutbrute said:
Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?

I'm so glad KohPhi gave such an inspirational pep talk today, I'm on fire. Is that Dingster calling for the ball on the lead? if it is I'll kick it to him, if it's okeydoke7 I'll have a shot myself cause he's got the yips.

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.

Tony: And Beutbrute morks the ball on the wing. He plays on

Max: First the left foot followed by the right, then the left, then the right again, then that familiar left foot right foot combination

Bill (opens door) "It's called running Max ya ********!

Tony: He's about to get tackled by grumbleguts

Max: In comes haydo and lays a huuuuge shepherd.

MG: grumbleguts hit the deck like a sack of spuds didn't he?

IC: Yes, he did hit the sack like deck of ... sack the deck like a spud of ... what did you say again Gibbo?

MG: Never mind. Beutbrute kicks the ball and finds Dingster on the lead. That was a beautiful play by Beutbrute, he's been a class above today.

IC: Dingster kicks for goal and Oh, and hasn't he kicked that out of his a*se. That is a big fat six all the way.....F*ck you says Stephen Fleming to Jason Gillespie. That's one of the biggest hits since the beatles.

BL: And there goes the siren. The wonders win it to go #firsttosix that's
right, run for cover ya littel bastards, we thrashed the pants of ya. Go and run and hide in the dressing room. We're gonna UGGHHH *Bill grimaces as he is punched hard in the stomach by an unknown person, to shut him up*

Richie revealing himself to be that person We'll be back here at the MCG, in just a few moments........ I don't f*cking believe this is happening. For f*ck's sake Geoff, do something about this will you..it's like a battlefield in here.
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Yes Beutbrute, never kick it to Okey.
 
Blue__Balls said:
Easiest decision of my life.

Look inboard, pretend I haven't seen the meathead in the forward 50, take a bounce, slow a touch, keep "looking for an option" through the middle.

I'm a cowboy...

See. the whole time, Bon Jovi's Dead or Alive is playing in my head. By this stage, old mate at full forward is screaming himself hoarse, waving his arms around, but it's no good because the opposition have gotten numbers back and the contest isn't in our favour. What a shame.

On a steel horse I ride...

The opposition half back has left his man now, and is coming at me to pressure the disposal. He's left his man open though, and I could loop a handball over the top and let him take the shot.

I'm wanted...

But deep down I know he doesn't have the distance in his skinny right leg. So I play the percentages, feign a handpass over the top, but at the last minute tunnel it towards the boundary line. As the wannabe-hero-half-back blinks in disbelief at the audacious play, I'm already past him and madly chasing the loose ball as it rolls end over end towards the line.

(Wanted...)

Fumble the first pick-up, paddle it on, paddle it again, then it sits up. From 55 out I'm right on my range, but I've got a full head of steam and know I've got the journey. Dickhead at full forward has doubled back to the square and is still selfishly calling for the ball. He makes on last lead but we both know where the ball is going. As I slam the ball onto the boot, I can hear Jon in the back of my mind.

Dead or alive...



Of course, the kick is an absolute shank. The kind of floater you only ever see in a pub toilet on Mexican Parma Night.

But as planned (As. *******. Planned. I tell the coach...) Caveman at FF gets a soft free kick for holding the man and lines up for the premiership-winning goal from the top of the square.

We both know he'd have missed from 30 out.
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Love the approach! Easily into the next round.
 

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Sab22 said:
Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?

Sarah: Wayne, what is Sab22s mindset right now?

Wayne: Probably thinking about going full Lebron, so basically carrying Wonders across the line but knowing him, he would choke, I mean look at his form lol and he should just handball it to someone but if he sees a hot bird, that's it and he would turn into the most arrogant cocky show off in the league even out beating his own teammate Okey.

Camera view of the sky... a bird flies by... and Sab22 spots it

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.

Sarah: SAB22 HAS THE BALL WHAT DOES HE DO WITH, CLOCKS TICKING 30 TO GO!

BRAB: SHUT UP SARAH

Sarah: BRAB YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE BIGGEST MOMENT OF HIS SHORT CAREER

BRAB: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS

Sarah: SAB22 RUNS ALONG THE BOUNDARY LINE, DOES A DUSTYY ON HIS OWN TEAMMATE, SPINS OUT OF BARRYBRANS TACKLE, WHAT A CAMPAIGNER MOVE!

BRAB: ....

Sarah: SAB22 HANDBALLS IT AT KDAVVA74S HEAD, SOMEHOW GETS IT BACK CLOSING IN ON THE GOAL WITH 10 TO GO

(Crowd)BLERN: LETS GOOOO SAB! WOW WHAT A GUN!

BRAB: WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS KID, KICK THE BALL TO NUNEZ

Sarah: UM NUNEZ DOESNT PLAY FOR WONDERS

BRAB: BUT BUT I LOVE NUNEZ

Sarah: SAB22 DOESNT SEE JOSHWOODENSPOON COMING AT HIM LIKE A RHINOOO, OH NO SAB22 WITH THE SIDE STEP, JOSH HITS HAYDO WITH A SUPERMAN PUNCH!! WHAT THE **** IS HAPPENING

BRAB: HAHA WISH IT WAS KDAVVA74 INSTEAD OF HAYDO

Sarah: SAB22 KICKS IT AROUND HIS BODY, THE SIREN SOUNDS, THE FOOTY IS ROLLING ON THE GROUND AND NO ONE TOUCHES IT, HAVE THE BEARS WON???

BRAB: UM WHAT IS SAB22 DOING??

Sarah: THE BALL HAS ROLLED THROUGH THE GOALS!!! THE WONDERS WIN, WHAT A GAME (shouldve stayed with the Wonders)

BRAB: THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE, WE NEED A BEST OF 3 SERIES

Sarah: GOING ACROSS TO REPORTER TJASTA

TJ: HAS YOU CAN SEE WHAT A STUNNING GAME, SAB22 IS CELEBRATING BY HIMSELF AS MOST OF HIS TEAM PASSED OUT DURING PRE GAME PREP, WHILE HAYDO IS ON HIS WAY TO DENTIST AND I THINK EJW IS IN TEARS, OH EXCLUSIVE VIEW AT OKEYDOKE SMILING FOR ONCE!

crowd(furies): SAB22! SAB22! SAB22! AS THEY SEEK HIS SIGNATURE FOR SEASON 27.

BRAB: IM ABSOLUTELY DISAPPOINTED

WFL: SO WAS YOUR....

Sarah: ANYWAYS, IT WAS A BRILLIANT GRAND FINAL DOWN HERE AT SABCG AS THE STADIUM HAD A NAME CHANGE DUE TO THE OUTRAGEOUS PERFORMANCE BY NON EKA MEDALIST SAB22

BLERN: LOVE YA SAB!
Click to expand...
FFS tag me.
Also the character of BRAB was too polite and that BLERN character was too present. Not realistic enough
 
Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?
Oh Shit! I hate this dream. Royals in the grand final and me with the ball seconds from the end with everything to lose. Every second bloody night. Then I wake up and we're still 12th. Wait! The ball is normal, the grass is green. Maybe this isn't a dream. Blacky's screaming for the ball. He has a lead... LOL we could take him for a walk. Yeah not a dream, that's normal. I wonder if I can get a different flavoured flyswatter - mine's running out of taste. Oh that's right! the game, got to concentrate. Seconds left, if I kick it to Blacky, the siren might go with the ball in the air on the way to him. That's a loss. If I take a shot and the the siren goes with the ball in the air the score counts. If the sky is blue due to Rayleigh scattering, why isn't it violet. Wait, the game. C'mon! CONCENTRATE. If I have a shot, we win if I score a goal. I wonder what the commentators are saying right now... hmmm... I'd better take the shot can't risk the sire.... DAMN!

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.
Grumbleguts has grabbed the ball
He turns and runs away.
His opposition try to chase
But Guts's speed holds sway.

None of his foes can touch him
He dances 'round the throng
He weaves one way then t'other
This man can do no wrong.

He's running down the members wing
Bouncing as he goes
5 points the margin - one straight kick
This guy never slows.

Blacky at full forward now
Presents, he's on a lead.
Grumbleguts has seen him there
It's someone he should heed.

He takes another bounce again
He wants to take the shot.
This could be his moment
We've put him on the spot.

Can't be long to go now
He crosses over fifty.
He sells some candy, steps aside
That was pretty nifty.

I wonder what he's thinking now
The poetry of Lord Byron?
He takes another fifteen steps
Oh NO! There goes the siren.

Oh NO! Grumbleguts seems to have held onto the qooty for far too long, and didn't take the shot! He could have passed it earlier to Blacky who'd led into space perfectly. I wonder what was on his mind. Must have been nerves. He got into clear air so well, ran down the wing evading everyone. All he had to do to hand the Royals the crown - pardon the pun - was put it on Blacky's chest. What an idiot. I can't wait to hear the interview after the game if the Royals let him anywhere near a microphone. Let's cross down to the players rooms where the Royals have graciously allowed us access after their narrow loss.

Thanks guys I'm here with Grumbleguts, who had 57 possessions, 27 marks, 22 tackles but everyone will remember him for the final 7 seconds. Grumbles... what happened.

Yeah, not a lot. I had the ball, saw blacky... lead... and thought Blacky ... lead... Maybe we should take him for a walk in the park after the game. Then i wondered how often we're supposed to feed him.
 
Some real gems here, rooks. Going to he tough voting, eh Dingster KohPhi ?

Cannot wait to see how this pans out and what the quality is like in R2/3.

Plenty of submissions to come as well.
 
Matty411 said:
Some real gems here, rooks. Going to he tough voting, eh Dingster KohPhi ?

Cannot wait to see how this pans out and what the quality is like in R2/3.

Plenty of submissions to come as well.
Click to expand...
Creativity is king.
 
Part I
HG.jpg
*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep, that's me. The one with the ball. Pretty crazy, right? I bet you're wondering how I got into this situation. I guess I'd better start from the start...

The comeback is almost complete. A 217 point deficit at half time had been whittled down to just 5, thanks to a half time milkshake an inspired second half effort from the old guard, but it's cost us. Captain Yakker is dead on his feet, Tarkyn_24 's most recent disposal was an attempt at a gridiron hail mary pass into the 50 and it looks as though sausageroll was the opposition ruckman's three quarter time snack. I look around at my fellow rookies, and we lock eyes. A silent understanding passes between us: it's up to us now.

The ball is tapped to my advantage and I'm off. I step one player, then two, and then a third. Delusions of grandeur fill my mind as I look up at the big sticks, ignoring the cries from FF. But just as I'm about to put my boot through it, I unbelievably slip in a puddle of the field. Faintly, I recall someone tipping their bottle of ice onto the field earlier...

"Nice melt," I hear an opposition supporter say as I faceplant into the turf. Then, inexplicably, the ump blows his whistle for a free kick - he thinks I was tripped! And he's given me fifty as well!

So that's how I got here: 47 seconds left, 5 points down, straight in front of goal. manangatang is looking back in horror, as he realises the premiership is down to a #lolwonders reject who joined halfway through the season and often went missing for weeks at a time, claiming 'life got busy'. It looks as though all hope is lost...

Part II
"You just get the feeling that if FinBar19 can kick this they'll be in front, don't you?

The boy from the mount is living every qooty player's childhood dream - one kick, the last kick, wins his side a premiership.

One way or the other, the young lad will go down in history.

He runs in... AND STEPS AROUND THE MAN ON THE MARK. Why has he played on - he was straight in front!

He runs around the corner, four seconds to play..... HE'S DONE IT.

THE UNLIKELIEST OF HEROES HAS WON HIS TEAM A FLAG, AND WHAT A GRAND OLD FLAG IT IS. FINBAR'S NAME GOES DOWN IN THE SFA HISTORY BOOKS..."





That's how I like to think it went anyway. Apparently, after I slipped over I knocked myself out. We lost by 5.
 
FinBar19 said:
Part I
View attachment 586240
*record scratch* *freeze frame* Yep, that's me. The one with the ball. Pretty crazy, right? I bet you're wondering how I got into this situation. I guess I'd better start from the start...

The comeback is almost complete. A 217 point deficit at half time had been whittled down to just 5, thanks to a half time milkshake an inspired second half effort from the old guard, but it's cost us. Captain Yakker is dead on his feet, Tarkyn_24 's most recent disposal was an attempt at a gridiron hail mary pass into the 50 and it looks as though sausageroll was the opposition ruckman's three quarter time snack. I look around at my fellow rookies, and we lock eyes. A silent understanding passes between us: it's up to us now.

The ball is tapped to my advantage and I'm off. I step one player, then two, and then a third. Delusions of grandeur fill my mind as I look up at the big sticks, ignoring the cries from FF. But just as I'm about to put my boot through it, I unbelievably slip in a puddle of the field. Faintly, I recall someone tipping their bottle of ice onto the field earlier...

"Nice melt," I hear an opposition supporter say as I faceplant into the turf. Then, inexplicably, the ump blows his whistle for a free kick - he thinks I was tripped! And he's given me fifty as well!

So that's how I got here: 47 seconds left, 5 points down, straight in front of goal. manangatang is looking back in horror, as he realises the premiership is down to a #lolwonders reject who joined halfway through the season and often went missing for weeks at a time, claiming 'life got busy'. It looks as though all hope is lost...

Part II
"You just get the feeling that if FinBar19 can kick this they'll be in front, don't you?

The boy from the mount is living every qooty player's childhood dream - one kick, the last kick, wins his side a premiership.

One way or the other, the young lad will go down in history.

He runs in... AND STEPS AROUND THE MAN ON THE MARK. Why has he played on - he was straight in front!

He runs around the corner, four seconds to play..... HE'S DONE IT.

THE UNLIKELIEST OF HEROES HAS WON HIS TEAM A FLAG, AND WHAT A GRAND OLD FLAG IT IS. FINBAR'S NAME GOES DOWN IN THE SFA HISTORY BOOKS..."





That's how I like to think it went anyway. Apparently, after I slipped over I knocked myself out. We lost by 5.
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Is this called the rookie hunger games because the opposition ruckman ate me? Is that you U2tigers? Why would you do this?
 
Well done Matty411 , its a great way we can get all the Rookies all in one place, so we can blow them to hell.
sausageroll said:
Is this called the rookie hunger games because the opposition ruckman ate me? Is that you U2tigers? Why would you do this?
Click to expand...
I eat midget midfielders for breakfast.
 
U2tigers said:
Well done Matty411 , its a great way we can get all the Rookies all in one place, so we can blow them to hell.

I eat midget midfielders for breakfast.
Click to expand...
Have fun eating midget midfielders. And have fun blowing the rookies. Each to their own. I won't judge you ;):thumbsu:
 
im-too-good-61jid8.jpg
 

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Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?
Let's get this clear, I understand jack shit about football. And remembering this is a simulated game, I have no say over what actually happens.

That being said, I'd be sitting at my desk, quietly reading over the sim commentary and feel a pride in myself as my simulated character goes for goal and gets it clear.

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.
Uhhhhh, well, uh, yeah. I'mma give this a go cause again, I don't pay attention whoopsies.

Commentator A: Oh, look at that, that Rookie who never shows up to training seems to be taking the ball out to F50, setting top for a goal perhaps?

Commentator B: That looks like a goal setup B1

Comm A: Oh, but *enter name of the FF teammate* is out at 30 metres, is she going to pass the ball?
That looks like a negative!

Comm B: Aaaaand she's going for goal!

Comm A: Would you look at that folks, it's a breakthrough, the Dragons have it! By some miracle they made it to Grand Final, and with even more of a blessing one of their rookies took out the season for them!



Do I get a participation cookie now?
Thanks for coming.
 
Matty411 said:
Rookie Hunger Games
584349_f5156f9c40c435c72e926f5830d1472d.png

Over the next few weeks – away from the Qooty – I want to run our rookies through a Three-Round Roulette Wheel that will test their will, wit and hunger for the Sweet FA.

The three challenges will allow our rookies to use whatever tools they have at their disposal – be that sharp wit, humour, graphic design, and eloquent prose – to impress in taking on the challenges.

The first round will be open to all current Season 26 rookies, with a panel voting the group down to no more than 8 for Round 2.

The voting panel will be made up of yours truly; Bears Legend and current-day Wonders hero Dingster (S25 FRED Medallist, All SFA S25, Bears HOF S19 and Premiership Captain S22); as well as a personal favourite of mine – 2 x Premiership Player S23/24, Bombers Captain S25-26, All SFA S24 and reigning #2 beez – KohPhi.

Who's eligible? All current S26 rookies
Deadline: Participants will have 3 days to submit (close of business, Thursday 22nd)

Current Rookies (Please let me know if I have missed anyone and I'll add you in)

Bombers Blue__Balls
Warriors TheInjuryFactory CM9000
Dragons FFC boneofshin CinnaMay mistylake Pea Nut Wayne's-World
Hawks Drunkgoliath
Furies THE_GUN Lsta062 Tiger Toffee Shadowthorn PieLebo87
Royals grumbleguts SunshineTiger Simon_Says MrPremiership
Gumbies Jivlain neal09 The Bandwagon
Bears SilvaComet Farm Boy Barrybran gordo2016 jatz14 Back One Out kdavva74 Argas Tuft caloschwaby magpienato Cincinnatus Tandy
Demons TheDarkDwarf ABray10 Sir Hugh Percy FinBar19
Roys FFC Thommo333
Swamprats tonygeeks Nunez jackster83 Kirkswan
Wonders Sab22 KBLT Cleanupsoup Beutbrute


Round 1

The first round will tests your ability to think outside the box, combining wit and humour. Rookies must come up with a solution to the following dilemma.


Scenario: Your side is in the grand final and you’ve had a pretty good day. It’s deep in the fourth quarter and you’re 5 points behind with time running out. You get the ball from the clearance and are streaming along the wing towards F50 when your FF calls for it 30 out. You have the chance to go for glory and win the game for your team or play it safe and deliver it to your teammate.

Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.

giphy.gif
Click to expand...
Scenario: Your side is in the grand final and you’ve had a pretty good day. It’s deep in the fourth quarter and you’re 5 points behind with time running out. You get the ball from the clearance and are streaming along the wing towards F50 when your FF calls for it 30 out. You have the chance to go for glory and win the game for your team or play it safe and deliver it to your teammate.

Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?
well it's fairly well known by now, but if I'm streaming along the wing (see fig 1) from 50m out, the Bear forwards lead toward the boundary, taking their opponents with them, and clear the way for Argas to GOAL.

GKCUFLH.gif

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.
Argas has the qooty on the wing from 50m out, put down your glasses...........goal!
 
Argas Tuft said:
Scenario: Your side is in the grand final and you’ve had a pretty good day. It’s deep in the fourth quarter and you’re 5 points behind with time running out. You get the ball from the clearance and are streaming along the wing towards F50 when your FF calls for it 30 out. You have the chance to go for glory and win the game for your team or play it safe and deliver it to your teammate.

Part I. What’s going through your head at that moment?
well it's fairly well known by now, but if I'm streaming along the wing (see fig 1) from 50m out, the Bear forwards lead toward the boundary, taking their opponents with them, and clear the way for Argas to GOAL.

View attachment 586582

Part II. Call the final moments of the Qooty Commentary and the direct aftermath of the result.
Argas has the qooty on the wing from 50m out, put down your glasses...........goal!
Click to expand...
That gif, is that you Barrybran?
 

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Media The Rookie Hunger Games [ROUND 1]

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