The Worst Football Jargon

[The Chiefton]

Fat side of the ground.

Run and carry.

Come to play.

Contested possessions.... FFS I understand that they're an important part of the game, but I'm sick to death of hearing about it being the number one issue on gameday.

 

[Perry Pie]

"The Pill"

**** off.

The pill is old school, not a modern term at all.

 

[Perry Pie]

The use of the word 'Brand' to describe a footy club I hate that marketing bullshit.

Plus one! Probably the biggest excuse for incompetent A-holes stuffing clubs.

 

[Perry Pie]

I can't stand the term "Soccer" or 'Soccering'.

"HE'S SOCCERED IT OFF THE GROUND"

Wrong on so many levels, first being Soccer (football) is a noun, not a verb

Disagree - the term clear and appropriate, someone is kicking the ball without handling it. Also been in use for 40 years to my certain knowledge.

 

[Black Diamond]

"kicks it with the outside of his boot".

Given that the inside of the boot is usually full of sock & foot, wouldn't all kicks be made with the outside of the boot?

Notsureifserious. Pretty sure 'outside of the boot' refers to a banana kick.

 

[Dustin Credible]

Quite like some of the terms that have ended up in this thread like: Pill, Fat side of the ground, spread and soccered. The last three especially are descriptive, easy to understand, and concise ways of expressing things.

Dislike "dukes" though and "grab" is irritating.

 

[entourage]

I'm sure it's been covered but David Kings goddamn 'recipe for success' gives me the shits. PISS off!

 

[Rors]

Dwayne Russell drops this comment every now & then

Player X kicks a splits the middle with a set shot & Dwayne proclaims "IT'S A SPEAR"....

.... WTF?! How about just saying "it's a goal"...

 

[Tap Tap Tapperoo]

Not so much jargon, but two commentators who say the same thing all the time obviously without realising....

Bruce always starts off one of his statements with 'You get the feeling if....' e.g. You get the feeling if Geelong get the next one they are right back in this. Seriously says this at least 5 times a game.

Dwayne saying something along the lines of 'The football gods are watching', also says this at least a few times a game.

 

[Heater39]

One of my pet hates, and not just in regards to footy, is people who don't understand the concept of the word literally.

Grant Thomas on FC last night "Collingwood literally broke Adelaide's back in the last quarter"

 

[bullyman]

Look, i am not sure this has been covered off, but hopefully it hasn't so I can hopefully contribute to this post.
Look, it was probably a loss we had to have, but look hopefully we can overcome these issues.
But, look, hey, we can hopefully progress into the finals, given a hopefully good run with injuries, hopefully.

ps. What is a 'loss we had to have'. In what coaching manual does it say you HAVE to lose?

 

[Heater39]

Look, i am not sure this has been covered off, but hopefully it hasn't so I can hopefully contribute to this post.
Look, it was probably a loss we had to have, but look hopefully we can overcome these issues.
But, look, hey, we can hopefully progress into the finals, given a hopefully good run with injuries, hopefully.

ps. What is a 'loss we had to have'. In what coaching manual does it say you HAVE to lose?

Needs more obviously

 

[Quivorir]

Half volley.

I think the terms get misused, then they get annoying.

Closing speed makes perfect sense to me. If a player gets a break and is still running and gets run down from behind then the defender has 'closing speed' ... ie: not the best acceleration, hence the initial break, but a higher top speed. It's not something that happens much, but is pretty self explanatory.
Eagles example, Jack Darling. Doesn't accelerate at any extreme rate but can chase people down at full flight.

Also, gut running. I don't mind it at all if they are actually gut running. If it's the fourth quarter and everyone is lacking intensity, except one bloke, busting his gut to get things going their teams way, then the term makes perfect sense.

So he is just faster.

 

[putitontheboot]

use of the word 'Structure' or 'Structures'

hands down

 

[Catfish1975]

Players overusing the following
Obviously
Fantastic
Sensational
Full credit

then.....
Leadership Group
Culture
Shinboner spirit
Bloods culture

The word "obviously" has integrated itself into all parts of society. Listen to anyone who thinks they are some sort of authority on anything and the word "obviously" will be used at least 3 times in 5 minutes.
Shinboner spirit shits me as well, imagine how crap we'd be if we didn't have it. Every day I bow down and thank the gods for blessing us with shinboner spirit.

 

[entourage]

use of the word 'Structure' or 'Structures'

hands down

/thread

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Ahhhh commentators... they’re all pretty bad in their own way.

JB is a funny one. Every time he interviews a player he sounds like someone’s dad who just got home to find his son sitting round with a few of his mates, and is trying to join in the conversation... but just sounds awkward.

BT is pretty shit. He was the clown on MMM and it worked, it’s funny though, pretty sure when he moved to AW he said something about being more serious. He’s not.

Probably my favourite is Tim Lane, I like the way he goes about it in a no-nonsense kind of way. Reminds me of English commentators, they just describe the game.

Speaking of commentators, did you guys know Dustin Fletcher is 37 years old? He didn’t play on Saturday night so they only managed to mention it about 5 times. Would you get offended if you were unable to touch the footy without someone mentioning your age?

 

[cheeseypizza]

"Against the flow"
"momentum"

 

[WesternSaint84]

Forward pressure

 

[Cousin of Daicos]

"This guy loves to kick a goal"

Really? Name me one of the 800 registered players in the AFL that don't *******.

"Credit to the boys"

 

[jive]

"This guy loves to kick a goal"

Really? Name me one of the 800 registered players in the AFL that don't *******.

Ha ha ha. True.

 

[Calypso]

Don't mind most of these, to be honest, as they add a bit of colour and variety. I think new jargon is healthy for the game - so long as it's home-grown! Hate "quarterback" and "offence", and detest with a passion use of Americanised team names (Hawthorn Hawks, Carlton Blues - and has Melbourne gone the way of Geelong, now calling itself semi-officially Melbourne Demons?).

I know the game needs sponsorship, but hearing that player X "has 20 Carlton Draughts" makes me cringe.

 

[Mr Mojo Risin]

shorts it
chaos ball
crazy good
great call, dwayno

This gets on my nerves a lot. Duuhwayne will often follow it up with saying something like "That was a good short".

In general a lot of commentators want to stand out and have their own catch phrases or sound cool. This ****s me to no end.

Using the word "dukes" instead of hands is one example that gets on my nerves but thankfully seems to have lessened of late.

The best commentators just call the games with energy and accuracy, with as least bias as possible without trying to standout, sound cool or be controversial.

Channel 7 back in the 90s was great. It astounds me how crap they are now.

 

[Cousin of Daicos]

Also, the way a lot of the younger commentators/ex-players are calling marks 'catches'.

Eeeewww.

 

[Astro Bomber]

Some of my favourites:

- Like cork in the ocean
- Daisy cutter
- Mungrel (punt)
- Dances on a dollar

Needs more Denis Cometti