The Worst Football Jargon

[Rors]

The start of every Ross Lyin sentence when he's being interviewed....

"The reality is....."

Geez its irritating!

 

[western royboy]

Fat Side
Anything that comes out of Hammers mouth
Catch
Come to Play
Spread

 

[Running Dog]

- Any time a player gets called a 'genius'. Hawking & Einstein are geniuses. Hawkins & Goldstein are not.

- Regarding player name pronunciation, how do you pronounce Veszpremi? I always thought that 'sz' is pronounced 'sh', but commentators just seem to pronounce it as 'z'.

That reminds me of a quote:

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." (US) football commentator and former player Joe Theismann.

I think the 'sz' in Veszpremi is meant to be pronounced 'zh', as in 'Asia'- but I'm not a Magnificent Magyar, so I can't be sure.

Back on topic, Drew Morphett often describes a kick as being 'half distance'. How far is 'distance'? Is it as far as half a piece of string?

 

[fairdinkum]

You lot are easily upset by words.

Too easily, imo.

I blame our increasingly comfortable lifestyles giving us fewer and fewer legitimate things to complain about.

So, instead, we turn to minor things like the use of americanisms and new phrases in our sporting parlance to vent our frustrations at life.

Words are simply meant to convey a concept. When Russell says, 'Thomas shorts it to Beams', we all know what he means: Thomas kicked a short pass to Beams. When McAvaney says, 'Oh, he's delicious, isn't he?', he simply means that Rioli is (in his opinion) a pleasant footballer to watch ply his trade. When Brereton says, 'They are missing somebody to play that quarterback role', he simply means that with Hodge out, Hawthorn lack that extra defender with enough football smarts and disposal efficiency to find the ball and then hit targets to set up offensive plays from the back half.

I could go on, but the point is that we all know what these guys mean when they use these terms. That's all words are meant to do: convey to us, the listener, the thoughts going through the head of the commentator saying those words. So long as commentators aren't saying stuff like, 'Cotchin squarbles the ticketmachine to Vickery, who extends his arms but roasts another turkey, King gathers it, looks around for a golddigger, ices the muffintop, who plays on to Martin who has a gloopenheigen from 50... and strays it for another behind', then I really don't see the need for the fuss.*

Words are just words. Your life would be much more enjoyable if you simply accepted their use for what it is and relaxed. There are much better things to worry about, and even most of those things aren't worth worrying about.



*Even in this example, I reckon most football followers could work out exactly what happened in that play

 

[Fat Nyfe]

"He's working it back" How? With his mind?

 

[Veroldin]

When commentators use the word claret instead of blood.

 

[Alby_Green]

"Clutch goal". (Term used by Rompingwins).

 

[resurrector]

You lot are easily upset by words.

Too easily, imo.

I blame our increasingly comfortable lifestyles giving us fewer and fewer legitimate things to complain about.

So, instead, we turn to minor things like the use of americanisms and new phrases in our sporting parlance to vent our frustrations at life.

Words are simply meant to convey a concept. When Russell says, 'Thomas shorts it to Beams', we all know what he means: Thomas kicked a short pass to Beams. When McAvaney says, 'Oh, he's delicious, isn't he?', he simply means that Rioli is (in his opinion) a pleasant footballer to watch ply his trade. When Brereton says, 'They are missing somebody to play that quarterback role', he simply means that with Hodge out, Hawthorn lack that extra defender with enough football smarts and disposal efficiency to find the ball and then hit targets to set up offensive plays from the back half.

I could go on, but the point is that we all know what these guys mean when they use these terms. That's all words are meant to do: convey to us, the listener, the thoughts going through the head of the commentator saying those words. So long as commentators aren't saying stuff like, 'Cotchin squarbles the ticketmachine to Vickery, who extends his arms but roasts another turkey, King gathers it, looks around for a golddigger, ices the muffintop, who plays on to Martin who has a gloopenheigen from 50... and strays it for another behind', then I really don't see the need for the fuss.*

Words are just words. Your life would be much more enjoyable if you simply accepted their use for what it is and relaxed. There are much better things to worry about, and even most of those things aren't worth worrying about.



*Even in this example, I reckon most football followers could work out exactly what happened in that play

agree x10. who cares that commentators use a bit of slang/jargon - i'm sure if you go back to the so called 'glory days' of 90s ch7 then you'll find common phrases popping up as well

 

[The House]

So many that the Triple M team started are so lame.

Bonce (often used to give the other commentators a ribbing about their own heads), Dukes, Cannons, Guns, Falcon, puts of the jets/afterburners, Rig (as in he's got a good rig on him).....

.....I'm sure there's more.

10 years ago triple m were the first station i'd turn to when seeing what games are on the radio - now they are literally the last station I check, laegely due to me not wanting to hear their bullshit jargon and falsified ribbing of each other and how many pies Billy eats, or how vain Browny is etc in the box.


Also anything that Dennis Commetti rehearses and pulls out "spontaniously" during a coverage - so transparent in that he CLEARLY sits down during the week and thinks "hmmmmm, i'm known for being really zany and witty with my Commettiisms, what ones can i come up with this week?"

Que Bruce also pretending they're spontanious and blowing smoke up his skirt....."oh Den, you're one of a kind" type rubbish


And certainly the use of de-fense and offense - these are American basketball terms, and in the case of de-fense, doesn't even work with an Australian accent.....

 

[Calypso]

Also, the way a lot of the younger commentators/ex-players are calling marks 'catches'.

Eeeewww.

Anyone who says "catch" should be taken off air and not allowed to commentate again. They obviously don't know even the basics of the game. It's like a tennis commentator saying "40-Nil" (which never happens!)

 

[The House]

And yes, off commentators, "credit to the boys" is used so often to either say nothing or avoid the question or both that it's annoying.

"So you played well tonight, you must be happy?"
"Aw, nah, credit to the boys, they did a great job, bla bla bla"


Also did anyone notice coaches in particular a few years ago all seemed to brush up with the same media training??

Dean Laidley who was terrible in front of the camera used to say "this was good, i was happy with our forwards, i like how we did this" etc - then one day, out of the blue all he or anyone else with a positive obsevation would ever say was "this was pleasing" or "I am pleased with X" or "the pleasing thing about it was X".

Brad Scott now says "pleasing" A LOT too, as well as "clearly".

Constantly saying "we CLEARLY need to do this", or "we CLEARLY controlled the ball well today" - it's amateur hour to anyone who's been trainied to use persuasive language for a living.

 

[SloppyJoe]

How the commentators use the word "laterally" at every available opportunity.

My current bugbear is Cometti saying "inside the forward 50" every 30 seconds. Even when Natainui took that massive hanger against the Blues last year all Denis could say was "and Hurn kicks it inside the FORWARD FIFTY!!!!"

 

[Roachy8]

Keep an eye on this new one to gain some momentum in footy circles...

Jack Riewoldt said in an interview the other day when talking about things that continued to be worked on, "our compliance".

Expect it to quickly become trendy in sentences regarding structures and systems etc...

 

[muttley45]

"professionalism" is overused by coaches,players,and commentators,

plays for the free

from the paint

 

[City Search]

When "boots" or "booted" is used to describe very goal in a match.

 

[Mountain Giant]

A "champion". A champion of what, exactly? What championship have they won?

Any of the racist comments used to describe Indigenous players. "Naturally gifted/talented" etc

 

[Danog]

Chaos ball

 

[SSSSSS]

Chaos ball

 

[zipper12]

agree x10. who cares that commentators use a bit of slang/jargon - i'm sure if you go back to the so called 'glory days' of 90s ch7 then you'll find common phrases popping up as well

Jesus yes- Landy and Louie had about 5 stock phrases between them

sinks the slipper
more space than the early settlers
I'd like to buy real estate from him (or not depending on how far the ump pulled the player back for 15m penalty)
employs soccer tactics.

I get really annoyed when they commentators say 'football' 'kick' 'handpass' 'shepherd' 'tackle' 'goal' or 'point'- it drives me crazy

 

[Underarm]

"Dynasty" - Completely incorrect use of the word. A team could win 5 premierships in a row and it still wouldn't be a dynasty because a dynasty is a succession of rulers from the same family. eg. Grandfather to the father to the son. Baffling that this ever became a football term.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynasty_(sports)

Just think of it as a modern interpretation of 'Dynasty'. I.e: a long period of success by a team.

My pet peeve is people trying to pidgeon hole players into 'elite', 'A-Grade' ect.

 

[elhadjihenry]

haven't heard it in a while but i used to hate it when a player kicked a goal off the ground or out of the air and the commentators would say "he could get a game for manchester united!"

 

[moose ahoy]

In addition to pretty much everything else in the thread, I really dislike both "sharked" and "farmed".

 

[cryptor]

"And you've got your Goddards and your Bartels and your Hodges, etc, etc" to describe a type of player. Is it that hard to say "and you've got your midfielders who can take a strong mark and push forward and kick a couple goals"?

 

[greatwhiteshark]

I used to get corked in the leg, it was called a cork!!!

Last 15 years someone changed it to a corky! Think it was Gerard Healy.

 

[western royboy]

"And you've got your Goddards and your Bartels and your Hodges, etc, etc" to describe a type of player. Is it that hard to say "and you've got your midfielders who can take a strong mark and push forward and kick a couple goals"?

Gary Ayres started that. Loved referring to people in the 3rd person.