Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[bomberclifford]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Ford Fairlane]

What happens to a rainbow when it breaks the law ??
It goes through the prism system

 

[arrowman]

Forgive the intrusion - loving this thread, may I contribute?

A glamorous blonde walked into a bank branch at the airport. She told the teller she was going overseas for 2 weeks, and would like to borrow $10,000.

The teller told her the bank would need collateral for such a loan, and the interest rate would be 25% p.a.. She nodded, pointed to her Mercedes convertible out the front, and asked "will that do?".

Holding back laughter, the teller completed the paperwork, handed over the money, took the car keys, and moved the car around the back of the bank.

After the woman left, the bank staff all had a good LOL about the dumb blonde who left a $100K car as collateral for a $10K loan.

...2 weeks later, she returned -paid back the $10K plus $96 interest, and collected her car keys.

The teller couldn't help himself. He asked her why she had felt it necessary to leave her expensive car as collateral for the loan.

She smiled and replied "Do you know anywhere else you can get a 2-week park at the airport for $96?"

 

[hOUTkley]

When I die, I want to be reincarnated as a spider.

Just so I can hear people say, "OMG it's huge!"

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Duck Farmer]

Lettice? Spell it right or replace it with Lingams.

 

[Grave Danger]

Lettice? Spell it right or replace it with Lingams.

Lettice is a girl's name meaning joy. Lisa bring Lettice much joy.

 

[Duck Farmer]

Lettice is a girl's name meaning joy. Lisa bring Lettice much joy.

That works too.

 

[portly]

From Largs Bay Primary School in the 50s "Sir Mr Hunt Eats Oranges".

 

[VineValerian]

From Largs Bay Primary School in the 50s "Sir Mr Hunt Eats Oranges".

See Mr Harris Eating Nice Oranges.

N = Niagara Falls

 

[VineValerian]

From Largs Bay Primary School in the 50s "Sir Mr Hunt Eats Oranges".

See Mr Harris Eating Nice Oranges.

N = Niagara Falls

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[philreich]

 

[Quadzilla]

A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway.

There was no congestion for 8 hours

 

[Duck Farmer]

A truck loaded with Vicks Vaporub overturned on the highway.

There was no congestion for 8 hours

And it’s good night from me …


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Garibaldi Red]

 

[GremioPower]

Johnny met a magical genie who gave him a single wish. Johnny said: “I wish I could be you.”

The genue then saud: “Weurd wush, but, all rught. Ut’s granted!”

That’s how the NZ accent was created.

 

[Grave Danger]

You can tell Poe was never a dad...

 

[pastmyprimus]

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She then hugged me.

 

[Garibaldi Red]

 

[Loony Juice]

Q: What has two legs and bleeds?

A: Half a dog

 

[Loony Juice]

Q: What do you call a somalian with a rat?

A:Wealthy



Q: What do you call a somalian with 2 rats?

A: A caterer

 

[Loony Juice]

Q: What was David Bowies last hit?

A: Heroin