Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[sr36]

I can see you mob have lost your way again. You are stuck with what might be termed a loosing formula. I will honour the silence.

Lost our way? We've whipped some compleye spuds into shape. Our work is so transformative that Jamie Elliott has become desperate to cop some lashes. He's really working his arse of to be whipped. And the Bobby Hill honeymoon is well and truly over.

 

[Markfs]

Krueger disgraced himself in the ruck today. Need to find someone else to give Billy a chop out.

Pitiful...undisciplined....selfish..... as you said, a complete disgrace. I'd delist him on that performance

 

[sr36]

Pitiful...undisciplined....selfish..... as you said, a complete disgrace. I'd delist him on that performance

It wasnt a complete disgrace. McRae took him off to avoid that. He was doing some many stupid things that it was just a matter of time before he nuded up.

 

[sr36]

Serious question.

We all love Freddy because he's a lunatic. But has he ever actually taken a mark or done something that requires more skill than lurching like a lunatic in the general direction of the footy?

 

[Markfs]

Serious question.

We all love Freddy because he's a lunatic. But has he ever actually taken a mark or done something that requires more skill than lurching like a lunatic in the general direction of the footy?

He has mongrel. We didnt need someone to be snotted today but in a granny...its what sets him apart from curly wimps like ned jnr.

 

[sr36]

He has mongrel. We didnt need someone to be snotted today but in a granny...its what sets him apart from curly wimps like ned jnr.

I'm beginning to think that these footballers who can't play footy, but might one day knock someone out, are useless. Let's just add a couple of category b kickboxers for the finals.

 

[Markfs]

I'm beginning to think that these footballers who can't play footy, but might one day knock someone out, are useless. Let's just add a couple of category b kickboxers for the finals.

You've got a point, considering how derek likes his basketballers. Why not cut straight to the chase and recruit for mongrelness?

 

[Markfs]

evidently there were some complaints from some "fans" that they couldnt tell the difference between the teams....

let me assist. One team is in black and white and one team consist of drug taking scum.....I hope that helps in the future

 

[Vicky Park]

The kiddies were back today. After the game. Bobby H had hold of one, he must have found it somewhere. And then that Nicky D bloke, who’s playing above himself (or above where right minded footy fans think he should play) put a medal thingy around the kiddie’s neck.

What’s that all about? Those players should have been preparing for the Adelaide game in two days time. I question their commitment.

 

[noideaatall]

I thought we were having a moments reverent silence, guess thats a foreign concept to you mob.

So, I get it, you are struggling to whip in a time of plenty. Well, here is the basic formula.

There is the standard whipping boy thing - Darcy gettting outmarked by Draper, NDaicoi playing so well there will be no room for improvement. You may be surprised I nominate WHE for this role, he is up for it.

There is the cracking of the whip around a crittur thats trying to get away, not going with the herd. Jamie is the one, used all his luck up last year, no use to us now and definitely due for a spell in the thirds. There is the cracking of the whip around the whole herd, keep 'em pulling hard in the right direction. I got nothing here.... sometimes you just got to know when you're beat.

Finally, there is the damn good flogging aimed to break someone, a la Port Arthur style. Look no further than Freddy. We all saw him grab his shoulder after a minor interaction. Might as well break him now.

No need to self-mutilate markfs, I like you just the way you are.

 

[neilk]

Surely WHE is worthy of a good whipping for dropping the keys to the car yesterday?

 

[Markfs]

Surely WHE is worthy of a good whipping for dropping the keys to the car yesterday?

The game was too much in the balance for him. He likes to shine when he's not needed. Besides, i've heard that he gets too nervous on the roads to drive. Likewise, he gets scared by a mess of children at playgrounds or magpie supporters coming up to him for selfies....he has an allergy to expectations. He has been classified as a low achiever by doctors.

 

[Markfs]

I thought we were having a moments reverent silence, guess thats a foreign concept to you mob.

So, I get it, you are struggling to whip in a time of plenty. Well, here is the basic formula.

There is the standard whipping boy thing - Darcy gettting outmarked by Draper, NDaicoi playing so well there will be no room for improvement. You may be surprised I nominate WHE for this role, he is up for it.

There is the cracking of the whip around a crittur thats trying to get away, not going with the herd. Jamie is the one, used all his luck up last year, no use to us now and definitely due for a spell in the thirds. There is the cracking of the whip around the whole herd, keep 'em pulling hard in the right direction. I got nothing here.... sometimes you just got to know when you're beat.

Finally, there is the damn good flogging aimed to break someone, a la Port Arthur style. Look no further than Freddy. We all saw him grab his shoulder after a minor interaction. Might as well break him now.

No need to self-mutilate markfs, I like you just the way you are.

Noidea, let me first commend your parents for giving you such an appropriate name.

Regarding the substance of your "complaint". We are an independent panel of experts. We attack the strategy of whipping from our individual perspectives.

I think your comment about Fred has been said before. SR and myself were previously discussing the alternate strategies of breaking him now or saving him for bigger events at the end of the season. The fact that he cant play football is likely to have an impact.

Jamie has been useless this year but there are only so many hours in a day. There are others such as your favourite hyphen who deserve more of a beating.

Finally, if you attended the game-day thread you might have learnt something about whipping. The devoted magpie fans chose to emphasis their whipping of the umpires. I think this strategy has been used for many years and I personally find it very fulfilling. It certainly helps me feel part of the mob and it gives me a chance to demonstrate my passion to the key players in that thread. I recommend it. It probably suits you because it doesn't stretch anyone's intellectual capabilities and I found that I could send the same message trashing the umpires on a regular basis throughout the whole first half. It also meant that I could save time by only having to skim the posts in the thread for any change in strategy.

At one stage, the strategy in the thread did change to mentioning the mistakes being made. I adjusted my regular post accordingly.

Of course, the problem with the game-day thread is that people are spending a lot of energy in demonstrating their passion to their fellow posters, so there isnt much time to think about the content of their post. This is where this thread enters the scene.........We are a resource for the forum. We provide ideas about who to whip and why. It is our role to be wideranging and innovative. I think we do that role marvellously.

 

[Markfs]

The magpie media dept have proposed to change collingwood's name to "nickwood" to increase membership.... I think that strategy is short-term thinking...

 

[noideaatall]

Noidea, let me first commend your parents for giving you such an appropriate name.

Regarding the substance of your "complaint". We are an independent panel of experts. We attack the strategy of whipping from our individual perspectives.

I think your comment about Fred has been said before. SR and myself were previously discussing the alternate strategies of breaking him now or saving him for bigger events at the end of the season. The fact that he cant play football is likely to have an impact.

Jamie has been useless this year but there are only so many hours in a day. There are others such as your favourite hyphen who deserve more of a beating.

Finally, if you attended the game-day thread you might have learnt something about whipping. The devoted magpie fans chose to emphasis their whipping of the umpires. I think this strategy has been used for many years and I personally find it very fulfilling. It certainly helps me feel part of the mob and it gives me a chance to demonstrate my passion to the key players in that thread. I recommend it. It probably suits you because it doesn't stretch anyone's intellectual capabilities and I found that I could send the same message trashing the umpires on a regular basis throughout the whole first half. It also meant that I could save time by only having to skim the posts in the thread for any change in strategy.

At one stage, the strategy in the thread did change to mentioning the mistakes being made. I adjusted my regular post accordingly.

Of course, the problem with the game-day thread is that people are spending a lot of energy in demonstrating their passion to their fellow posters, so there isnt much time to think about the content of their post. This is where this thread enters the scene.........We are a resource for the forum. We provide ideas about who to whip and why. It is our role to be wideranging and innovative. I think we do that role marvellously.

Thanks for complimenting my parents. Do you read the match day thread post match or live. Over the years I have chosen this path when Kayo or free streaming failed me. I'd rather read a phone book, certainly wouldn't take my eyes off the screen. Maybe that's your difficulty with whipping: taken your eyes off the screen & have noidea what happened. I troll the post match threads for the wisdom of the masses.

 

[Markfs]

Do you read the match day thread post match or live. Over the years I have chosen this path when Kayo or free streaming failed me.

Yes, I have chosen this path option.... the post-match live option....I find doing it post-match live requires dexterity.

If I havent impressed you with my passion for the pies then i have failed. It is one of the major reasons that I post...

 

[sr36]

evidently there were some complaints from some "fans" that they couldnt tell the difference between the teams....

let me assist. One team is in black and white and one team consist of drug taking scum.....I hope that helps in the future

That was the confusion - Ginnivan was in black and white.

 

[Markfs]

That was the confusion - Ginnivan was in black and white.

good point...there are exceptions to every rule. And I should have been more specific about the performance-enhancing drug taking scum...

 

[sr36]

Yes, I have chosen this path option.... the post-match live option....I find doing it post-match live requires dexterity.

If I havent impressed you with my passion for the pies then i have failed. It is one of the major reasons that I post...

I'm really impressed by those who can read and type abuse whilst also screaming abuse at our spuds. It's impressive multi-tasking.

 

[Markfs]

I'm really impressed by those who can read and type abuse whilst also screaming abuse at our spuds. It's impressive multi-tasking.

I even go back in time to post to create an added level of difficulty...

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

We have three ideal whipping boys to choose from to drop for Murphy….. Markov, Ruscoe and Kelly……. And none of them deserve to be dropped. Now people in desperation are trying to take a swing at IQ because he’s got a dose of the fumbles.

It’s desperate times when you can’t whip the whippable.

Pendles is so frustrated about being overshadowed by these potatoes that he poked himself in the eye so he doesn’t have to play next week.

 

[Markfs]

We have three ideal whipping boys to choose from to drop for Murphy….. Markov, Ruscoe and Kelly……. And none of them deserve to be dropped. Now people in desperation are trying to take a swing at IQ because he’s got a dose of the fumbles.

It’s desperate times when you can’t whip the whippable.

Pendles is so frustrated about being overshadowed by these potatoes that he poked himself in the eye so he doesn’t have to play next week.

Timothy, timothy, timothy.....I think you got caught up in the elation. Kelly doesnt deserve to be dropped? If you're saying that he doesnt deserve to be dropped by a left hook followed by a right cross....well maybe not. However, he pranced around like a .......a .......a ned kelly jnr. He needs to be ejected promptly. As for the russian. He looked wired. I think he's on something.

 

[jmac70]

At this rate the thread won’t last until the end of the year.

 

[jaffa23]

We have three ideal whipping boys to choose from to drop for Murphy….. Markov, Ruscoe and Kelly……. And none of them deserve to be dropped. Now people in desperation are trying to take a swing at IQ because he’s got a dose of the fumbles.

It’s desperate times when you can’t whip the whippable.

Pendles is so frustrated about being overshadowed by these potatoes that he poked himself in the eye so he doesn’t have to play next week.

Finally someone has realized...

The standard vitreonic whipping of sub-standard VFL players has seen no new candidates,,

But wait - T f T is onto something,,,

When I go to work, and get an eyelash in my eye, I don't go all nuclear sooky sooky la la, and cry mummy in the Sheds,,,

Yes YOU ex-Captain: aka Scott Pendles.... you shirked the issue,,, we are all One Eyed Collingwood supporters, but you decided that you needed a rest - WTF.

Even this guy with 6 minutes left in the last quarter, whose father had un-mercilessly poked his son's eye out in a fit of rage with a hot chip - well at least he had THE GUTS TO STAY IN THE ARENA...

Welcome to Whipping Pendles...

 

[sr36]

The club are putting together WHE highlights of of the 2020s. It contains one thing. The hyphen dropping a mark.