Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Markfs]

I forgot to say that I wanted to give a complete flogging to the pommie git who commentated on the VFL on the weekend. I was having my brekky and having a look at the useless piles of crap such as will kelly

20

Will Kelly

Age

24

Ht

194cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

5.0

1star

K

4.0

2star

HB

1.0

1star

M

2.0

2star

T

0.0

1star

MG

108.0

2star

D

5.0

1star

K

4.0

1star

HB

1.0

1star

M

2.0

2star

T

0.0

1star

MG

108.0

2star

D

5.0

1star

K

4.0

2star

HB

1.0

2star

M

2.0

3star

T

0.0

1star

MG

108.0

2star

, but the git forced me to turn the sound down because he was so offensive.

At one point, he referred to surfer tom wilson as a basketballer - correctly - and then he said there was another tom wilson who was on the AFL list - wrong pomme..........I listened to his commentary for about 10 minutes before I gave him the flick and he spent most of his time reading facts and figures off the internet. Just go back to tottenham mate....

 

[Markfs]

in latest news, the club has offically given trent bianco the status of list clogger......well deserved...

 

[sr36]

Hope you’ve also been demanding the return of Eddie. Nothing will improve at the club until he returns and…um…takes us back to 1999. We desperately need that.

It's MM we need back. How inspiring was that whip when he said Jason Cloke played better in the GF he was suspended for?

 

[Markfs]

fetching....

 

[Sea fog]

This from Side by Side - reckon he looks like the bloke from The Club contemplating the seagulls.

 

[Markfs]

Grundy is a close mate......they may elope at the end of the season...

 

[Markfs]

A light in the end of the tunnel....


the bruzzy wuzzy bruzza is captain... a chance for renewal....the rise of the mongrel....the start of a golden age...

 

[sr36]

A light in the end of the tunnel....


the bruzzy wuzzy bruzza is captain... a chance for renewal....the rise of the mongrel....the start of a golden age...

It won't be the start of the new era if fans try to soften our mongrel by calling him Bruzzy Wuzzy...

So many kids hanging around the change room that we've started baby talking the mongrels.

It's a scourge. Thankfully his hair is too short to put a ribbon and hairclip in it.

WHEs 200th and all he'll be remembered for is that disgrace with a hairclip. Says it all about where the club is at.

 

[Markfs]

It won't be the start of the new era if fans try to soften our mongrel by calling him Bruzzy Wuzzy...

So many kids hanging around the change room that we've started baby talking the mongrels.

It's a scourge. Thankfully his hair is too short to put a ribbon and hairclip in it.

WHEs 200th and all he'll be remembered for is that disgrace with a hairclip. Says it all about where the club is at.

sorry about the wuzzy...

on the kiddie matter, you might remember that i've expressed my disgust in the past, Coulbut I just saw pendles on the pie site and the pic is linked to a victorian gov't site that is hoping to encourage gambling in kiddies - lovethegame

And then I realised that the pies might have got sponsorship from the gov't to get more kids involved in gambling...it explains the whole situation. Could it be that the pies haven't gone soft and have just got greedy? Is it just wishful thinking?

 

[Vicky Park]

Could it be that the pies haven't gone soft and have just got greedy? Is it just wishful thinking?

Wishful thinking because we support gambling for children?

I like it. Let’s elevate it above wishful and make it happen. C’mon Pies, innovate!

 

[sr36]

Wishful thinking because we support gambling for children?

I like it. Let’s elevate it above wishful and make it happen. C’mon Pies, innovate!

I'm hearing that the AFL have promised to pay frees to Ginnivan again if we can get 10,000 minors hooked on multis. Make it happen Pies!

 

[Markfs]

Wishful thinking because we support gambling for children?

I like it. Let’s elevate it above wishful and make it happen. C’mon Pies, innovate!

dont raise your hopes up...maybe the players just like their kids. I've known one or two fathers like that...but its just hard to believe that crispy, sidey and pendles are THAT keen on their kids. I'd just understand it more if they were keeping the kiddies close to the club so they picked up a gambling habit...

 

[Markfs]

I'm hearing that the AFL have promised to pay frees to Ginnivan again if we can get 10,000 minors hooked on multis. Make it happen Pies!

The gov't site advises parents to indoctrinate the kiddes in small doses....I just hope the Pies don't go overboard to get the sponsorship money and cook the golden goose. It's always the same when gov'ts get involved. They want every kid hooked on gambling, just like they wanted every kid jabbed against covid.

 

[noideaatall]

Congratulations to WHE on spudding it up 199 times. Couple more seasons and he may be the pies most iconic pomme de terre. I can see the statue now, a pile of mashed potato with WHE's torso and head rearing out. Has some serious competition though, Maggie5's favourite couldn't hold onto a football super glued to his hands and lipstick couldn't find one in a Sherrin shop. Either way, tonight is the night for oiling your whip - I recommend linseed - tomorrow it will be open slather.

What is with the Moore clones in the backline. You mob that are into haircuts, do something about this new fella.

 

[Markfs]

Congratulations to WHE on spudding it up 199 times. Couple more seasons and he may be the pies most iconic pomme de terre. I can see the statue now, a pile of mashed potato with WHE's torso and head rearing out. Has some serious competition though, Maggie5's favourite couldn't hold onto a football super glued to his hands and lipstick couldn't find one in a Sherrin shop. Either way, tonight is the night for oiling your whip - I recommend linseed - tomorrow it will be open slather.

What is with the Moore clones in the backline. You mob that are into haircuts, do something about this new fella.

This new guy has more than a haircut problem. I think he does the mullet to take people's attention from his eye brows and his face in general. A south australian so he's been cordial with other family members....

 

[sr36]

Congratulations to WHE on spudding it up 199 times. Couple more seasons and he may be the pies most iconic pomme de terre. I can see the statue now, a pile of mashed potato with WHE's torso and head rearing out. Has some serious competition though, Maggie5's favourite couldn't hold onto a football super glued to his hands and lipstick couldn't find one in a Sherrin shop. Either way, tonight is the night for oiling your whip - I recommend linseed - tomorrow it will be open slather.

What is with the Moore clones in the backline. You mob that are into haircuts, do something about this new fella.

I like the idea of a mashed potato statue to highlight our spuds, but there's been so any that made no contribution whatsoever to the cause over and over again that I feel we should keep it headless to highlight them all.

 

[sr36]

This new guy has more than a haircut problem. I think he does the mullet to take people's attention from his eye brows and his face in general. A south australian so he's been cordial with other family members....

Dekka really is a moron with his stupid theories about good families, December birthdays, etc... He gets lucky with a couple of South Australian bogans in McCreery and Bruzzy and all of a sudden he's got this SA bogan theory and is recruiting nothing but SA bogans. News flash Dekka, there's more bogans than people in South Australia and not all of them can play footy.

 

[noideaatall]

This new guy has more than a haircut problem. I think he does the mullet to take people's attention from his eye brows and his face in general. A south australian so he's been cordial with other family members....

It's in the water. Notice how sr36 is forgetting the first letter in words? Starts there. I think Dekka is hoping enough of Melbourne's fluoride & problem solved. I'd rather you mob get the clippers out.

 

[sr36]

It's in the water. Notice how sr36 is forgetting the first letter in words? Starts there. I think Dekka is hoping enough of Melbourne's fluoride & problem solved. I'd rather you mob get the clippers out.

I was thinking about your mashed potato statue concept. You really don't have much idea about whipping boys. You can't even correctly categorise the whipping boy you've chosen. WHE is a completely useless invisible bloke who occasionally flashes into visual reality, where he shows that he's a bonafide squib, a welching pack skitter. But he can run, mark and kick, so he's not a spud.

It's important to know these sorts of thing so you know what abuse to sling at the whipping boys. In this case it's invisible squib and references to a lack of testicular splendor. It's the fumbly ball butchers who earn the title spud.

 

[Markfs]

It's in the water. Notice how sr36 is forgetting the first letter in words? Starts there. I think Dekka is hoping enough of Melbourne's fluoride & problem solved. I'd rather you mob get the clippers out.

he must drink an awful lot of water to get like that. I remember i had a gold fish once. Never cleaned the tank. In the last weeks it was swimming around in a sea of green.....and its face had puffed up something shocking....but nothing as hideous as the kid

 

[noideaatall]

I was thinking about your mashed potato statue concept. You really don't have much idea about whipping boys. You can't even correctly categorise the whipping boy you've chosen. WHE is a completely useless invisible bloke who occasionally flashes into visual reality, where he shows that he's a bonafide squib, a welching pack skitter. But he can run, mark and kick, so he's not a spud.

It's important to know these sorts of thing so you know what abuse to sling at the whipping boys. In this case it's invisible squib and references to a lack of testicular splendor. It's the fumbly ball butchers who earn the title spud.

You can run all ya like but if you never touch the footy its pointless. Re: marks and kicks see previous sentence. It takes 333 days to get treated NSW/Vic sewage out of your system - start drinking Tassie Mountain water tonight and you may be back for finals next season.

he must drink an awful lot of water to get like that. I remember i had a gold fish once. Never cleaned the tank. In the last weeks it was swimming around in a sea of green.....and its face had puffed up something shocking....but nothing as hideous as the kid

Markfs, if you ever come out of your house and make it to Adelaide you will realise your gold fish where on gold. Last time I saw anything like Adelaide water was in Werribee visiting the sewage farm.

 

[sr36]

You can run all ya like but if you never touch the footy its pointless. Re: marks and kicks see previous sentence. It takes 333 days to get treated NSW/Vic sewage out of your system - start drinking Tassie Mountain water tonight and you may be back for finals next season.

Your lack of knowledge of whipping continues to astound me. We whip spuds, rangas, invisible duds, squibs, shit haircuts, wokes and players we just don't like. We whip them all, but you've got to use the right whip for their category of embarassing disgrace to the club. You don't whip Murphy for being a squib - he's not - he's a moron who'd run head first at a rhinoceros and then complain about concussion. And you don't whip whe for being a spud. You've got to get your whips right otherwise it's just not constructive when you tear them to shreds

 

[noideaatall]

Your lack of knowledge of whipping continues to astound me. We whip spuds, rangas, invisible duds, squibs, s**t haircuts, wokes and players we just don't like. We whip them all, but you've got to use the right whip for their category of embarassing disgrace to the club. You don't whip Murphy for being a squib - he's not - he's a moron who'd run head first at a rhinoceros and then complain about concussion. And you don't whip whe for being a spud. You've got to get your whips right otherwise it's just not constructive when you tear them to shreds

Personally, I favour a stock whip for WHE, a signal whip for the rest of the team. You mob seem to be into a bullock whip, appropriate for your whip skills but generally useless for a whipping boy purpose. Now some prefer the cat of nine tails but I like whipping boys to get back up the next week. I see you personally as more an equestrian whip type of poster. I may be wrong, it might be a snake whip in your hands.

 

[noideaatall]

Well, well, well. I get it, you mob are flagging, you are not stayers. I understand it must be hard to realise your whipping techniques are useless. Still, its not over until meatloaf or some other dreadful musician makes horrible noise on the big day. Don't worry, my mob are thoroughbreds, I have a public flogging lined up for WHE during grand final week and that will shame our team out of its current stupor.

Just to cheer you mob up, given its near end of season I am giving a few rewards out. To jmac, who started the thread and then bolted leaving only dust, goes a feather duster. Markfs, for posting more times than I have breathed air, goes a 29 foot, plastic made in China whip - clearly he favours quantity over quality. Ronnie gets a picture of a whip to remind he/she/they what could have been: offered so much promise then fizzled. Maggie5 gets the 6'10" hand made by Mick (of Mick's Whips, the world's fastest whipper) stockwhip. Clearly Maggie has the most talent of you lot given she actually predicted the downfall of DC. Finally, sr36 gets a big fat nothing, which seems most appropriate for a whole lot of hot air.

Send me your addresses and I'll put your prizes in the post today. Sr36, I'll drop yours off when we catch up in Adelaide.

 

[Vicky Park]

Well, well, well. I get it, you mob are flagging, you are not stayers. I understand it must be hard to realise your whipping techniques are useless. Still, its not over until meatloaf or some other dreadful musician makes horrible noise on the big day. Don't worry, my mob are thoroughbreds, I have a public flogging lined up for WHE during grand final week and that will shame our team out of its current stupor.

Just to cheer you mob up, given its near end of season I am giving a few rewards out. To jmac, who started the thread and then bolted leaving only dust, goes a feather duster. Markfs, for posting more times than I have breathed air, goes a 29 foot, plastic made in China whip - clearly he favours quantity over quality. Ronnie gets a picture of a whip to remind he/she/they what could have been: offered so much promise then fizzled. Maggie5 gets the 6'10" hand made by Mick (of Mick's Whips, the world's fastest whipper) stockwhip. Clearly Maggie has the most talent of you lot given she actually predicted the downfall of DC. Finally, sr36 gets a big fat nothing, which seems most appropriate for a whole lot of hot air.

Send me your addresses and I'll put your prizes in the post today. Sr36, I'll drop yours off when we catch up in Adelaide.

I’m not flagging. I have Fly in my sights, for promising so much and letting us down. He’s the Big Banana, the Numero Uno of whippees. Flogging him will occupy most of the off-season.

But I appreciate being left out of your long list of underperforming posters. Clearly that is a compliment in the context of this dry and debilitating thread.