Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Markfs]

Send me your addresses and I'll put your prizes in the post today. Sr36, I'll drop yours off when we catch up in Adelaide.

Dept of Consumer Affairs has issued a warning not to make contact with this net entity. They are under investigation in various jurisdictions throughout Australia and south-east asia.

 

[Chameleon75]

Before the game last week WHE’s kid refused to run through the banner and ran off crying, the softness of WHE has seeped through to the next generation. We can be assured that should there be any father sons from WHE the whipping will continue into the next generation.

 

[Markfs]

In latest news, the pies have put a contract offer to Freddie Krugs.....and it seems that it was sufficiently forceful that it injured him and he wont be playing this week. The club should have learnt from the incident a few months back when his mum served him brekky on the weekend and he was out for 2 weeks

 

[noideaatall]

I’m not flagging. I have Fly in my sights, for promising so much and letting us down. He’s the Big Banana, the Numero Uno of whippees. Flogging him will occupy most of the off-season.

But I appreciate being left out of your long list of underperforming posters. Clearly that is a compliment in the context of this dry and debilitating thread.

I left you off 'cos you scare me, you are tricky. I'll send you a Qilinbian. As Mr P knows underneath the velvet gloves is a heart of steel.

Dept of Consumer Affairs has issued a warning not to make contact with this net entity. They are under investigation in various jurisdictions throughout Australia and south-east asia.

Really. Well, I never. Look I have had some questions but ultimately sr36 seemed pretty harmless. No wonder he is hiding in Adelaide, no one has jurisdiction in that pitiful place.

 

[Markfs]

Before the game last week WHE’s kid refused to run through the banner and ran off crying, the softness of WHE has seeped through to the next generation. We can be assured that should there be any father sons from WHE the whipping will continue into the next generation.

In line with current trends, we're unsure whether any perspective father-sons will qualify for the AFL or the AFLW.....and there are stories that the hyphen is actually an alien and any offspring might need to wait until the establishment of the AAFL....

 

[Markfs]

one part of this is obvious...it puts shudders down my spine...the more incidious part is the attempt to change the magpie logo. As for the saudi stuff, some might think that I'm against it but the saudis have shown themselves to be made of the right stuff throughout the years.

 

[Vicky Park]

I left you off 'cos you scare me, you are tricky. I'll send you a Qilinbian. As Mr P knows underneath the velvet gloves is a heart of steel.

I took the bait and googled ‘quilinbian’. As you knew I would. I come back at you with a mastigo.

 

[Markfs]

beware cheap chinese whips and those selling them....

 

[sr36]

There's a lot to hate about the Pies at the moment, but I've realised that the little dweeb happy clappy bloke who is our coach has more mongrel than we give him credit for.

Billy Frampton

17

Billy Frampton

Age

27

Ht

201cm

Wt

100kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.1

2star

K

5.1

2star

HB

4.0

3star

M

3.1

3star

T

0.7

3star

MG

99.0

2star

D

8.5

2star

K

4.8

2star

HB

3.8

3star

M

3.5

3star

T

0.5

1star

MG

99.0

2star

D

9.2

3star

K

5.6

3star

HB

3.6

3star

M

2.8

3star

T

1.0

3star

MG

107.0

2star

is a big strong complete moron who can't play footy for shit Seems pretty clear that Fly is giving him Games to pretend that he's in the team to play footy, but that couldn't possibly be true. Come the finals he's going to lead us to victory by knocking out blokes willy nilly.

 

[gouki88]

There's a lot to hate about the Pies at the moment, but I've realised that the little dweeb happy clappy bloke who is our coach has more mongrel than we give him credit for.

Billy Frampton is a big strong complete moron who can't play footy for s**t Seems pretty clear that Fly is giving him Games to pretend that he's in the team to play footy, but that couldn't possibly be true. Come the finals he's going to lead us to victory by knocking out blokes willy nilly.

I've heard rumour that Billy Frampton is Carl Ditterich's ugly son. We shall see

 

[Vicky Park]

I've heard rumour that Billy Frampton is Carl Ditterich's ugly son. We shall see

Seems plausible. I knew there was a reason I disliked Frampton.

My darling old Nanna - born five years after the Pies were formed and a diehard supporter from the mean streets of Abbotsford - hated Big Carl. She had some highly politically incorrect ways to describe him, some of which related to WWII and the involvement of Germans. No disrespect to that country now, but Nanna didn’t let Carl off the hook for his (distant relatives?) wartime indiscretions.

Now it’s Billy’s turn…

 

[Markfs]

Seems plausible. I knew there was a reason I disliked Frampton.

My darling old Nanna - born five years after the Pies were formed and a diehard supporter from the mean streets of Abbotsford - hated Big Carl. She had some highly politically incorrect ways to describe him, some of which related to WWII and the involvement of Germans. No disrespect to that country now, but Nanna didn’t let Carl off the hook for his (distant relatives?) wartime indiscretions.

Now it’s Billy’s turn…

well there are mongrels that play for the pies who we love....and then there's mongrels who play for other clubs.

and you have to admit you're failings too - the pies were a little too focussed on ball skills during that era. I always thought bob rose might have been a little too nice a person for coaching. This lesson needs to be learnt by the fly.

 

[Markfs]

There's a lot to hate about the Pies at the moment, but I've realised that the little dweeb happy clappy bloke who is our coach has more mongrel than we give him credit for.

Billy Frampton is a big strong complete moron who can't play footy for s**t Seems pretty clear that Fly is giving him Games to pretend that he's in the team to play footy, but that couldn't possibly be true. Come the finals he's going to lead us to victory by knocking out blokes willy nilly.

well you're the eternal optimist but it would certainly make sense of recruiting a bloke who cant play footy. I live in hope that frampton will seize the moment to sacrifice himself when charlie kerno needs to be buried.

 

[sr36]

well you're the eternal optimist but it would certainly make sense of recruiting a bloke who cant play footy. I live in hope that frampton will seize the moment to sacrifice himself when charlie kerno needs to be buried.

I've lost my optimism after noticing that that Carny folk bloke Cox is in the team.

Fly is obviously just one of these dweeby short people who never got over being a midget. So he's obsessed with height and picks tall blokes even if they're completely useless.

 

[Juan Ide]

That Frilly Tampon fella needs to go back to where he belongs... couldn't plug a hole in defence (or any other sort of hole, for that matter) to save his life.

 

[Markfs]

Geez I thought a lot of our boys were wimps. The bombers seem to have gutlessness bred into them. Maybe it's in their supplements. On our side, you have to wonder how many of our repeat underachievers could be so poor against blokes who didnt even bother to tackle. As a passionate pies fan and a designated expert at BF, I'm predicting out in straight sets.

 

[Markfs]

I had a spare moment so I thought I woulc skim through on the couch to see the week's topics and I heard an interesting morsel when the wise three were speculating about the future of those useless no-hopers essendon...

And the eloquent country boy brownie asks nathan lyon "who is the player at essendon with a bit of mongrel in them?" They all shakes their heads.

It says it all really. All this crap about role playing and numbers ahead the ball and how many forward entries and all the other crap that people go on about, and the key question is whether a team has some mongrel in them...

So laugh all you can naysayers. This is the thread that focuses on the thing that will bring us a premiership. It has been and it will always be about mongrel.

 

[noideaatall]

Wow. I blame myself, should have prodded and offered some rewards earlier. Only two things beat whipping the dons so comprehensively. You mob obviously have potential. I'm thinking pretty much have this week off and gather your whipping strength for the home run. Think any amazing horse run, everyone the jockey was on the whip. That is our job, bring the team home.

Great game from WHE, relatively. DC & lipstick pushing for the great JB award as late runners. It is damn close at this stage folks, either could go past WHE in the finals with two spud performances.

Very concerned with Darcy's tete to tete with Eddie. Lipreaders tell me DM told Eddie: "too many injuries, I'm off to Melbourne for $". Eddies reply: "we will put Fly on a five year contract, you captain/assistant coach for the last two then take over". I think we need to sack Eddie.

Moving on. You need to get off this mongrel thing markfs, it is overrated. What you need is a bit of arse. Look at the bounce in 2010. Look at Leigh Brown's run down. This is different from mongrel. The Dacoi have arse, Ginni has arse, you can't whip arse, it just is. On the other hand you can whip WHE. Just sayin.

 

[Vicky Park]

Very concerned with Darcy's tete to tete with Eddie. Lipreaders tell me DM told Eddie: "too many injuries, I'm off to Melbourne for $". Eddies reply: "we will put Fly on a five year contract, you captain/assistant coach for the last two then take over". I think we need to sack Eddie.

This concerned me too, and thank you for clarifying. But now I think about it, it’s really been obvious. Darcy’s ‘hamstring’ was nowhere to be seen when he posted vids of him dancing the tango the day after his injury, with Daisy Pearce! It’s all part of Eddie’s grand plan to return and make Collingwood great again, get rid of that poodle Fly, merge with Melbourne so we can get our hands on Petracca, and make Pendles the coach.

But I might be confused.

 

[Markfs]

This concerned me too, and thank you for clarifying. But now I think about it, it’s really been obvious. Darcy’s ‘hamstring’ was nowhere to be seen when he posted vids of him dancing the tango the day after his injury, with Daisy Pearce! It’s all part of Eddie’s grand plan to return and make Collingwood great again, get rid of that poodle Fly, merge with Melbourne so we can get our hands on Petracca, and make Pendles the coach.

But I might be confused.

From the last time I checked in with Eddie, he was wanting to privatise the Pies via a Private Equity Fund organised by Alex Waislitz and relocate them overseas to the Emirates as a vehicle to relaunch his media aspirations. The plan is then to contract footballers from east asia on fixed binding lifelong contracts and house them in a single building in Abu Dhabi. Evidently, they're hoping to get everything in under $1million. I'm not sure Petracca is part of the plans. Darcy would still be captain but he would have to finance his own income by managing some fashion houses in the Emirates. The good news is that there would be resources that could be used in both ventures such as the east european models in Darcy's fashion house who would keep fit by joining the AFLW team.

 

[Vicky Park]

From the last time I checked in with Eddie, he was wanting to privatise the Pies via a Private Equity Fund organised by Alex Waislitz and relocate them overseas to the Emirates as a vehicle to relaunch his media aspirations. The plan is then to contract footballers from east asia on fixed binding lifelong contracts and house them in a single building in Abu Dhabi. Evidently, they're hoping to get everything in under $1million. I'm not sure Petracca is part of the plans. Darcy would still be captain but he would have to finance his own income by managing some fashion houses in the Emirates. The good news is that there would be resources that could be used in both ventures such as the east european models in Darcy's fashion house who would keep fit by joining the AFLW team.

I think that would work. But I’d still like us to get our hands on Petracca.

 

[Markfs]

Moving on. You need to get off this mongrel thing markfs, it is overrated. What you need is a bit of arse. Look at the bounce in 2010. Look at Leigh Brown's run down. This is different from mongrel. The Dacoi have arse, Ginni has arse, you can't whip arse, it just is. On the other hand you can whip WHE. Just sayin.

Mongrel has been a tradition at BF since I was a small child. It forms the bedrock for every good Pie player. I hate to think of all the times when we could have won finals and grand finals if we had more mongrel. Ted Hopkins should never have lived past the 5 minute mark of the 3rd quarter.

 

[sr36]

Mongrel has been a tradition at BF since I was a small child. It forms the bedrock for every good Pie player. I hate to think of all the times when we could have won finals and grand finals if we had more mongrel. Ted Hopkins should never have lived past the 5 minute mark of the 3rd quarter.

That's what the Fly sycophants don't seem to understand. Like Hopkins, he was the most detested of "footballers" - a little weasel forward pocket. From Hopkins to Bewick to Milne to Ballantyne and Ginnivan they're the most hated players in the game and should be treated with extreme levels of mongrel at all times. But no, Fly is into protecting his own type and isn't even willing to get a mongrel like Bruzzy to rip their heads up - he helps them up after tackling them - FFS!

 

[Markfs]

That's what the Fly sycophants don't seem to understand. Like Hopkins, he was the most detested of "footballers" - a little weasel forward pocket. From Hopkins to Bewick to Milne to Ballantyne and Ginnivan they're the most hated players in the game and should be treated with extreme levels of mongrel at all times. But no, Fly is into protecting his own type and isn't even willing to get a mongrel like Bruzzy to rip their heads up - he helps them up after tackling them - FFS!

we cant ignore the modern ways, sr, although I agree with your sentiments. Judicious use of mongrel is the answer. We need the bruzzmeister playing on grand final day. As an example, the problem with Fab Phil was that he used his mongrel too soon. If I were Tommy, I would have had him caged up for the finals and only let him loose on grand final and point him at the kangaroos and tell him "Cull those Roos, Fabulous!!" I might have even got the local shaman in to concoct a potion for this forehead so it did the maximum damage.....

But the fly is a worry, especially when he sticks his tail between his legs and cozies up to michael voss on match days. When he sniffs Voss's butt it is downright degrading for our club. If we play them in a final, I think Voss will thump him into submission. Worse still, the Fly mightnt turn up on match day and brendan bolton will have to take over....i'll be burning next years membership card if that happens...

 

[Markfs]

Just a general whip here... here's a photo of the most recent graduating class from geelong grammar's timbertop campus situated in mansfield....

some of the boys might look familiar but these guys are all woke certified...except for the bloke in the middle of the front row who is a ring-in and an ex-psychiatric patient released on heavy meds to keep his mongrelness under wraps.