Vintage Bay BT Vs the Mundane

[Dan]

Just gone through the thread……very good stuff

 

[royals1922]

The commentary boys take a toilet break

BT:

WOWEE, HAVE I BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS SLASH. I NEEDED IT MORE THAN AN OLD BLOKE WITH URINARY TRACT PROBLEMS. ONE STEP TOWARDS THE BOWL, LET THE CANNON LOOSE AND WATCH IT STREAM OUT.

Cometti: Well Brian you have to be centimetre perfect because otherwise you start spraying it.

Carey: I'm not entirely comfortable being in a toilet with other people. Where's Kelly....

Tommy H: Well BT at Geelong, the team leaders took us as young fellas to the urinals and let us watch them urinate. Bomber would then ask us to hold the senior players so we understood what it was to be a Geelong urinator.

BT: SURELY NOT TOM, SURELY NOT- SOMETIMES THE YOUNG KIDS HAVE TO DO SOMETHINGS BY THEMSELVES.

Tommy H: So Richo how did the tiges teach you to urinate.

Richo: Well I was a bit of a confidence urinator and sometimes known for spraying the pill so I'm the last person you'd ask. But I do have a theory that if you aim high at the urinal you won't miss.

BT: I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT GROWN MEN, ADULT FOOTBALLERS NEED HELP TO STOP SPRAYING. RICHO AND HIS THEORIES.

Bruce: Well I was taught to caress the shaft before putting right down the throat of someone who is playing forward. It's so special when you hit the porcelain, delicious even.

Cometti: When you've been together as long as we have Bruth, you learn to finish eachother's sprinkles, like a ....

Bruce: Don't go there Den.

Darcy: I'm just loving the way you are pointing percy, the flow, the touch, when I WAS at the Dogs, that was the problem, people left the accuracy and length of urination skills to chance, they were too selfish. Terry Wallace should have shown us how to piss.

BT: WITHOUT THAT TRAINING ACCURACY IS VITAL TRAINING. LINGY WHAT'S YOUR VIEW.

Ling: I'm loving the hardness. You can see we have some experienced urinaters here. And the urinater who urinates the longest will win.

Sam Lane: Boys but you know that I can't urinate standing up.

BT: WE NEED TO GET AN INTERVIEW WITH PETA SEARLE SAMMY, SHE'D SHOW YOU THE WAY. AND MICKY MOLLOY, WHY DON'T YOU JOIN IN. IT'S A TEAM THING.

Molloy: Who needs a toilet, I'm a Richmond supporter. We collect our waste for the coach.

Bruce: Brian, your urination is sublime, perfect, Can I take a masterclass from you.

BT: THAT'S IT BOYS, WOWEE, WE'VE DONE SOME GOOD WORK HERE.

 

[Costanza_]

LISTEN TO THE SNAP OF THE GLOVE DARCE, YOU CAN FAIR DINKUM HEAR THAT IN ARHNEM LAND. IT'S SENT A WEE WILLY WINKY DOWN MY SPINE BUT YOU'D GET IT DONE FOR FUN, RIGHT RICHO? THE OLD TIGER TUNNEL TEST?

THE GLOVE IS ON THE DUKE AND IT'S TIME TO MAKE SOME MUSIC. HE BOOTS IT RIGHT UP THE CENTRE CORRIDOR, A LONG AND DEEP ENTRY, NO SHORTING IT. BOY OH BOY, HE'S WRIGGLING AROUND LIKE A CAT ON RITALIN AND THE CLARET STARTS TO FLOW!

DOC LARKIN IS GONNA HAVE HIS WORK CUT OUT DOWN THERE LINGY, HE'S A BONAFIDE GAUZE PACKER! NONE OF THAT MONKEY BUSINESS WHEN I WAS RUNNING AROUND IN THE STRIPES, WE'D JUST CHANGE THE OLD REG GRUNDIES AND BULLY ON THROUGH.

 

[royals1922]

Bruce:

The anticipation of the opening of this zip is tremendous, like Rioli mowing down the metres and putting it down the throat of a forward. It's spine tingling as you don't know what you're going to get - you might get Mitch Robinson or a Bryce Gibbs. It's a special feeling.

Den

Some would say that it's like opening a box of chocolates.

Bruce

And when your throat caresses that chocolate and it proves to be delicious. And you don't know how far that zip will go down.

 

[Jcpdragonx]

Hello.(basil pause) And. Welcome to 7 Central. We're at prime time on a lovely Sunday arvo and the atmosphere. is. just. electric (inhale and look down at notes).

Everyone is lining up, and they're... yes and they are off. Number 7 is out to an early lead. Now number 2 is taking charge. Now number 8 is in the lead. That number 8 is the reigning Sandover Medalist back in the WAFL, had an outstanding 2013 with East Fremantle. Now number 7 is in the lead. I think he was in the lead before... yes he was but now he's grabbed back the lead. Number 4 is now in the lead, he is moving his arms and legs to go as fast as he can. Actually he's from east fremantle in the WAFL as well, like myself. Fine place is East Fremantle. Number 4 is still in the lead and. he. has taken out the competition to take. out. the. Marathon. Yes he has. What a historic event Hame, now we head off to 7 ne (cuts out).

 

[royals1922]

Garry Lyon: Good evening everyone and tonight we have with us the Queen of Footy Caroline Wilson, Matthew Lloyd and footy's best investigative reporter Craig Hutchy.

GL: Tonight we are going to discuss the number 1 issue sweeping the football world - Richmond players ironing a shirt. What are your thoughts Caroline.

CW: Why did you come to me first - is it because I am a woman. Were you being sexist? You should apologise.

GL: Caroline it's a footy issue and it relates to Richmond and all I did was ask your opinion.

CW: Well it's a sensitive issue and the AFL should take a more active role in encouraging these young players to iron shirts. There's far too much discrimination in the game. The Age's columnist Samantha Lane has interviewed the new president of Richmond who believes the players are too self absorbed to iron their own shirts.

Matthew Lloyd: Well that's not fair, From what I hear Dustin Martin isn't bright enough to tie his own shoelaces and would probably burn his own face if he tried to iron a shirt and Jack Riewoldt has been ejected from the leadership group because his shirts weren't crisp enough.

Hutchison: That's not the entire story my sources tell me. Their captain Trent Cotchin wanted extra starch for his shirt but the club weren't prepared to stump up with it.

CW: Well I spoke to Trent Cotchin tonight and he disagreed. He said the leadership group was concerned with Jake King ironing the shirts of Toby Mitchell.

Hutchison: Is there a problem with richmond players ironing their shirts Caroline.

CW: Bad question, stupid question, dumb question Hutchy - of course there is. The club should just get in an ironing lady to iron the shirts of the Richmond players and let the players play football.

Garry Lyon: Well that's enough about Richmond and ironing shirt. We'll move on to another issue the source of concern in football this week - should players floss their teeth every time they brush them.

 

[royals1922]

Luke Darcy: Welcome to Talking Footy. As usual we have the NM premiership player, Wayne Carey and the Essendon champ Tim Watson. How are we tonight Duck and Tim.

WC: Great
TW: Great

L Darcy: The first issue we should discuss is the richmond players failing to iron their shirts. What's your take on it, Duck.
WC: It's a complete non issue spread by Richmond to hide deeper stresses. Whether Ivan Maric's sleeves weren't ironed enough is irrelevant to how they play footy.
TW: I spoke to some AFL people today and they were appalled that Richmond players didn't iron their shirts. They are talking fines.
LD: Surely not Tim. I remember when I was playing and most players only had 1 shirt which they wore on Saturday night at the the tunnel.
WC: Well I had 4 because you never knew when you were going to be called to an important meeting. Tim what's Jobe view on this.
TW: Well Jobe's mother irons his shirts as she does mine. The club's laundryman, Steven Dank, has given us this special starch to make the shirt crisp and we just follow their guidelines.
LD: Look I like the way Dusty goes about it but I think the way Dustin refuses to iron his shirt indicates a complete lack of discipline. Dustin is not a team man.
WC: Well Dustin is that X factor that Richmond need to fire so whether his shirt is crisp enough should not be an issue to the football club.
LD: It's a tough one but we should move onto the next issue- are football commentators too self opinionated....

​

 

[royals1922]

Eddie:Hi I'm Eddie McGuire and as usual I am joined by that old campaigner Dermott Brereton. What is your view on the Richmond failure to iron Derm,

Derm: When I was playing, I had 10 shirts which I mad sure I had ironed. It was important because I represented the club and to me, there was nothing more important than me doing the best for my club. I know Jason felt as strongly as I did given my personal beliefs and I felt if I did the best for me, that best would be the best for my football club.

Eddie: Well is Dusty in trouble for not ironing his shirt.

Derm: If Dusty gets suspended for not ironing his shirt, I am not going to the 200 club dinner again because I believe that Dusty was doing the best for his football club. That said Dusty is setting himself for a bad fall.

Eddie: How so Derm.

Derm: There is no need to anger anyone over this issue because the shirts don't iron themselves,

Eddie: If want to comment you can e-mail us at derm@ wa''er hotmail,com.

 

[Brain Power]

Dustin Martin strikes me as the sort of bloke who would try to iron his shirt while still wearing it.

 

[iBeng]

Dustin Martin strikes me as the sort of bloke who would try to iron his shirt while still wearing it.

What do you think the first thing he did was when they asked him to go lift some iron?

 

[Sydney Bloods]

Actually guys, my specialty is asking for Leigh Matthews opinion on everything.

P.S - Jude Bolton is a hack.

point of order, shouldn't you ask Leigh if Jude's a hack before making such claims?

 

[Hodgepodge]

Garry Lyon: Good evening everyone and tonight we have with us the Queen of Footy Caroline Wilson, Matthew Lloyd and footy's best investigative reporter Craig Hutchy.

GL: Tonight we are going to discuss the number 1 issue sweeping the football world - Richmond players ironing a shirt. What are your thoughts Caroline.

CW: Why did you come to me first - is it because I am a woman. Were you being sexist? You should apologise.

GL: Caroline it's a footy issue and it relates to Richmond and all I did was ask your opinion.

CW: Well it's a sensitive issue and the AFL should take a more active role in encouraging these young players to iron shirts. There's far too much discrimination in the game. The Age's columnist Samantha Lane has interviewed the new president of Richmond who believes the players are too self absorbed to iron their own shirts.

Matthew Lloyd: Well that's not fair, From what I hear Dustin Martin isn't bright enough to tie his own shoelaces and would probably burn his own face if he tried to iron a shirt and Jack Riewoldt has been ejected from the leadership group because his shirts weren't crisp enough.

Hutchison: That's not the entire story my sources tell me. Their captain Trent Cotchin wanted extra starch for his shirt but the club weren't prepared to stump up with it.

CW: Well I spoke to Trent Cotchin tonight and he disagreed. He said the leadership group was concerned with Jake King ironing the shirts of Toby Mitchell.

Hutchison: Is there a problem with richmond players ironing their shirts Caroline.

CW: Bad question, stupid question, dumb question Hutchy - of course there is. The club should just get in an ironing lady to iron the shirts of the Richmond players and let the players play football.

Garry Lyon: Well that's enough about Richmond and ironing shirt. We'll move on to another issue the source of concern in football this week - should players floss their teeth every time they brush them.

Very good. Only thing missing is Hutchinson comparing one player's 2013 ironing stats vs his 2014 ironing stats even though it's only round 2.

 

[Krujan]

Can someone do BT's response to this, please

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/a...eraldSunTopStories+(Herald+Sun+|+Top+Stories)

 

[Plugger35]

BT - WELCOME EVERYONE TO THE GEELONG DOCTORS SURGERY WHERE MY MAN JOHN "OLD BOY" MCELROY IS WAITING FOR HIS DIAGNOSIS FROM THE DOCTOR WHO IS YET TO ENTER THE SURGERY AND WHAT A CHIZZLER OF A SURGERY WE'VE GOT DOWN HERE IN GEELONG DARCE.

Darce - Yes BT it's a magnificent facility, I really love the way they've gone about renovating it.

BT - I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THE LIGHTING THOUGH DARCE, IT SEEMS A BIT DIM FOR A DOCTORS SURGERY, I THINK THEY NEED TO HAVE IT BRIGHTER OR THE DOCTOR MAY NOT BE ABLE TO READ HIS DIAGNOSIS.

Darce - The lighting seems OK for mine BT, look they could have it a bit brighter but I don't think that's going to affect the Doctor's diagnosis.

BT - WELL I'M TELLING YOU DARCE I DON'T THINK THE LIGHTING IS BRIGHT ENOUGH, WHAT DO YOU THINK RICHO?

Richo - The lighting's fine BT, a lot of surgeries these days have dimmer lighting, they don't have the bright lighting you had back in your day.

BT - WELL LOOK AT THE HEADWOBBLE ON RICHO HE'S SUDDENLY BECOME AN EXPERT ON LIGHTING, LET'S SEE WHAT LINGY DOWN IN THE SURGERY THINKS.

Lingy - I think you need to get your eyes checked BT, there's nothing wrong with the lighting down here in Geelong.

BT - WELL CAMERON LING THINKS I NEED MY LITTLE BO PEEPERS CHECKED, LET US KNOW ON FANGO AND TWITTER WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE LIGHTING AND AS I SPEAK WOWEE OH BOY THE DOCTOR HAS ENTERED THE SURGERY AND HE SAYS 'GET OUT OF MY WAY THE DOCTOR IS IN THE HOUSE WITH HIS DIAGNOSIS' AS HE STRIDES 'A THISAWAY' AND 'A THATAWAY' TO HIS DESK. A BIT OF HEADWOBBLE ON THE OLD DOC DARCE.

Darcy - I don't mind that BT, nothing wrong with having a bit of confidence.

BT - WELL HERE GOES THE DOCTOR WITH HIS DIAGNOSIS FOR OLD BOY MCELROY WITH HIS PEN AND PAPER IN HIS DUKES, A BIT OF LEFT TO RIGHT AS HE READS IT OUT AND WOWEE OH BOY HE'S GONE WOOSHKA AND GIVEN OLD BOY MCELROY 6 MONTHS TO LIVE, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT DARCE?

Darce - That's a very harsh diagnosis BT, I did not see that coming.

Richo - That's a ridiculous diagnosis, what was the Doctor thinking?

BT - WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS WE ARE STUNNED AT THAT DIAGNOSIS AND OLD BOY MCELROY SHAKES HIS HEAD AND SAYS 'OH NO, OH NO NO NO NO NO I'VE ONLY GOT 6 MONTHS TO LIVE...WHAT ABOUT ME!!!' BUT NOW HE GETS TO HIS FEET AND HE SAYS 'GET OUT OF MY WAY DOC I'M NOT ACCEPTING YOUR DIAGNOSIS I'M GETTING A SECOND OPINION FROM ANOTHER DOCTOR'. WOWEE OH BOY A SECOND OPINION I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT DARCE, SURELY HE SHOULD JUST ACCEPT THE DOCTOR'S DIAGNOSIS?

Darce - No I think that's a fair call BT, look I really like the way Old Boy McElroy goes about it and he's been brave today so I think he's entitled to get a second opinion.

BT - WELL I THINK YOU'RE WRONG DARCE, WHAT DO YOU THINK RICHO?

Richo - He absolutely should get a second opinion BT, you'd have to be an idiot not to.

BT - WELL OF COURSE A HEADWOBBLER LIKE YOU RICHO WOULD GET A SECOND OPINION, HE JUST LOVES TO GET AN OPINION ABOUT HIMSELF DOES RICHO, HE'D PROBABLY GET A THIRD, A FOURTH AND A FIFTH OPINION SUCH IS THE EGO OF THE MAN.

Richo - Settle down BT.

BT - WELL LET US KNOW ON FANGO AND TWITTER FOLKS, SHOULD OLD BOY MCELROY GET A SECOND OPINION?

 

[Schulzenfest]

Can someone do BT's response to this, please

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/essendon-football-club-players-issued-with-showcause-notices-by-asada-on-doping/story-fni5f22o-1226952296676?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed: HeraldSunTopStories (Herald Sun | Top Stories)

BT: Hello Matthew. Apparently 40 Bombers players have been issued with show cause notices in a development that could change the AFL as we know i --- OH BOY WOWEE, THERE'S A FAN IN THE STANDS WITH A SILLY HAIRCUT! WOULD YA GET A LOOK AT THAT RICHO!

<10 minutes of talking about the fan with a silly haircut>

 

[royals1922]

Can someone do BT's response to this, please

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/essendon-football-club-players-issued-with-showcause-notices-by-asada-on-doping/story-fni5f22o-1226952296676?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed: HeraldSunTopStories (Herald Sun | Top Stories)

Well Den that news is delicious. Jobe has been so brave and now to have to face this.....

 

[Stan_Darsh72]

Can someone do BT's response to this, please

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/essendon-football-club-players-issued-with-showcause-notices-by-asada-on-doping/story-fni5f22o-1226952296676?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed: HeraldSunTopStories (Herald Sun | Top Stories)

BT: WHY ARE ALL THESE FANS BOOING THESE BRAVE BOMBERS PLAYERS BOY O BOY WOWEEE THIS IS DISCRAFEFUL BEHAVIOUR BY THESE FANS, HOW COULD THEY DO DARCE?

Darce: I dont like it all BT these fans are being disgraceful to those brave players.

Tim: My son is so brave.

 

[PepperFace]

THE UMPIRES ARE BOUNCING THE BALL NICE AND STRAIGHT TONIGHT (repeat for the next 10 mins)




Edit: BOY OH BOY, WOWEEEE

 

[MisterMarcus]

Geez, I dunno about you Dennis, but you just get the feeling that the next panel will be coloured white, don't you? I mean, I know it's early days, but that's the trend so far. 3 white panels to none...gee, it just feels like it's looking ominous for any other colours even at this stage, don't you think?

 

[royals1922]

By Damian Barrett

In a newspaper exclusive, the Herald Sun can report that the AFL is monitoring the rate at which grass is growing. In an initiative started by former boss Andrew Demetriou, who was concerned at the slow rate of growth in Melbourne grass, the AFL has had a dedicated team looking at how fast the grass was growing at AFL grounds.

Clubs reviewed and given the AFL tick of approval include North Melbourne and Geelong where the increasing incidence of tears have resulted in the haphazard rate of growth of grass there.

Events at Essendon were most concerning as the grass appeared to be growing at double the rate of other grounds. Enquiries were made by the Integrity team of the Essendon gardeners and the AFL believe that this growth could be accredited to special manure imported from Mexico. When asked for a comment, Paul Little referred all enquiries to club solicitor Sarah Trategy. We have been advised Essendon have no comment to make.

The AFL are also looking at Carlton where the grass was growing irregularly but the AFL have been told this is due to a rash of weekly barbeques.

There were also concerns about the rate of growth at the new Adelaide Oval but scientific investigation has established that this growth was due to the dumping of naturally produced goo, especially after Port Adelaide games.

Further comment was sought from Footscray Football Club but coach Brian McCarthy could not be reached for comment.

 

[Dory_77]

Let us pray 7 never get the rights to the cricket:

BT: MY BOY MR BANANANANA PETER SIDDLE COMING IN FROM THE SOUTHERN END WITH THE BALL. HE HAS HOW MANY BANANANANAS A DAY DARCE? ABOUT 50 ISN'T IT? GEE WIZZ HIS POTASSIUM LEVELS MUST BE THROUGH THE ROOF WITH A DIET LIKE THAT. HE STRIDES THROUGH SENDS THE BALL DOWN TOWARDS KEVIN PIETERSEN WHO JUST POKES HIS BAT OUT AT IT AND IT GOES TOWARDS THE SLIPS BUT NO ONE FLIES! NO ONE FLEW DARCE! OH BOY, RICHO, SURELY SOMEONE WOULD'VE STUCK THE DUKES OUT AT THAT ONE? IT WENT BETWEEN FIRST AND SECOND SLIP AND THEY BOTH LOOKED AT EACH OTHER AND SAID 'IT'S NOT MINE IT'S YOURS. YOU'RE IN THE BETTER POSITION, YOU GO FOR IT!' BUT NEITHER DID! WOWEE THAT COULD REALLY COST THEM HEY DARCE!

Darce: Too right Bristle. Really poor there from both players, have to show more courage than that. Doesn't matter what is happening around you, you just have to fly for those.

BT: AND WHAT ABOUT THE SHOT FROM KP THOUGH. RICHO, HE LOOKED A BIT LIKE YOU OUT THERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE 'G. JUST POKED AT IT, NO FOLLOW THROUGH AT ALL!

Richo: Yep, spot on BT, gotta strike through the ball there. Poor shot, lucky to not have cost the team.

BT: BOY OH BOY, WOWEE IT IS HAPPENING HERE AT THE MINUTE. MY BOY, MR BANANANANA PETER SIDDLE OUT OF THE LATROBE CRICKET CLUB IS ABB-SO-LUTE-LEE FUMING. BOY, YOU CAN ALMOST SEE THE STEAM COMING OUT OF HIS EARS. LINGY WE'LL HAVE TO GET YOU DOWN TO THE ROOMS AT LUNCH BECAUSE BOY, I RECKON THERE'LL BE A MASSIVE SPRAY OF THOSE GUYS IN THE SLIPS. THERE WON'T BE ENOUGH BANANANANAS IN AUSTRALIA TO SETTLE HIM DOWN NOW!

BT: THE BALL COMES IN TO LEE, HE HAS A SWIPE AT IT AND KNOCKS IT JUST PAST THE FIELDER AT COVER. LEE TAKES OFF FOR A SINGLE BUT LOOK OUT THE FIELDER HAS GOT ONTO IT LIKE LIGHTNING AND IS HAVING A PING AT THE STUMPS! BOY OH BOY, WOWEE WHAT A THROW! HE'S KNOCKED MIDDLE STUMP OUT OF THE GROUND! YOUR BOY LEE MIGHT BE IN TROUBLE HERE RICHO! DIDN'T GET THE DUKES OUT FAR ENOUGH WITH THE BAT. I THINK THIS'LL BE JUST SHORT. THE UMPIRES HAVE CALLED FOR A REVIEW, AND I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS WHOLE PROCESS DARCE. I DON'T THINK THE HOLD UP IS WORTH IT, DO YOU?

Darcy: I think as long as they get the decision right, then it should stay, but there's too much inconsistency for mine. Too many inconclusive calls. The system needs a thorough review by the ICC for mine or it'll become a real blight on the game.

BT: AND HERE'S SOMETHING TO DELIGHT THE FANS: MICHAEL CLARKE HAS JUST THROWN THE BALL TO OUR MAN, BIG BOY DOUGIE BOLLINGER! WOWEE THERE'LL BE SOME BIG BALLS COMING DOWN FROM HIS END. I'D HATE TO BE FACING UP TO HIM. HE'S AT THE TOP OF HIS MARK AND BUILDS UP SOME STEAM. BIG BOY POWERS THROUGH THE CREASE AND SENDS DOWN ONE OF THE BIGGEST BOUNCERS I HAVE EVER SEEN! WOWEE! AARON SAND-EEEE-LANDS WOULD'VE STRUGGLED TO REACH THAT ONE. THE BATSMAN DOWN THE OTHER END JUST DUCKS UNDER IT AND GEE WHIZ, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT BOYS, THE DUCKING ISSUE? SURELY THAT'S SOMETHING THAT NEEDS TO BE WORKED OUT OF THE GAME? DARCE, YOUR THOUGHTS?

Darcy: Absolutely it should be. It's becoming a real blight on our game and you can tell the fans are unhappy with it. It's something the umps on the ground really need to spot early and warn players about. Ducking is just not a part of the game. Allan Border wouldn't have ducked and he epitomised courage. I think the modern players need to have a good look at some of his work, because just ducking under the high ones is just a lack of courage for mine. Just have to take the hit for mine.

BT: SPOT ON DARCE. AND FOR THE VIEWERS AT HOME TELL US ON FANGO WHAT YOU THINK, SHOULD DUCKING BE OUTLAWED? I THINK THERE'LL BE STRONG SUPPORT FOR THE YES OPTION THERE.

BT: BOY OH BOY THE HUMAN POCKET ROCKET DAVIE WARNER IS ON 99 NOT OUT, JUST ONE RUN SHORT OF A CENTURY. THE CROWD IS ON IT'S FEET, CAN HE GET THERE? THE BALL IS ABOUT TO BE DELIVERED. THE ATMOSPHERE IN HERE IS ABSOLUTELY ELECTRIFYING BUT WOULD YOU GET A LOAD OF THIS LOT IN THE SOUTHERN STAND. THEY'VE GONE FOR THE WATERMELON HELMETS AND THERE ARE SOME INTERESTING DESIGNS IN THERE. I THINK LINGY WOULD LIKE ONE SITTING DOWN THERE ON THE BOUNDARY, WOULD COVER UP THE CARROT TOP.

Lingy: Yes, could be good for that and would be nice and refreshing on a hot day like today.

BT: TOO RIGHT LINGY. THERE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN A LOT OF EFFORT GONE INTO SOME OF THOSE THOUGH. LOOK AT THAT BLOKE WITH THE VISOR AND HIS MATE WITH THE BUNNY EARS ON TOP. NOT SURE ABOUT THAT DARCE, SEEMS A BIT SILLY TO ME, BUT MAYBE I'M BEHIND ON THE TIMES. MAYBE OUR MAN RICHO CAN GIVE US AN INSIGHT INTO THE TREND HERE. I'M SURE HE'S WORN WORSE PLENTY OF TIMES AY RICHO?

Richo: Come on BT my taste isn't that bad. But how about your boy Davie though BT, just knocked up the century with a 6 that hit the roof!

BT: I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THAT RICHO, YOU'VE GONE FOR THE BEIGE SLACKS ON AIR BEFORE SO I WOULDN'T PUT IT PAST YOU. LET US KNOW ON FANGO AND TWITTER WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE WATERMELON HELMETS. GOOD CALL OR BAD CALL? LET US KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. AND YES HOW'S ABOUT DAVIE WARNER, THE HUMAN POCKET ROCKET OUT OF MATRAVILLE IN SYDNEY. BOY HE BLASTED THAT SIX INTO THE NEXT POSTCODE TO BRING UP THE HUNDRED.

 

[Micksy]

I know what she really likes to sit on

Some of the fine work from the Calder Chair Factory?

 

[Norwegian Blue]

Very good. Only thing missing is Hutchinson comparing one player's 2013 ironing stats vs his 2014 ironing stats even though it's only round 2.

We'd also need a thread on the Bay reminding us that Leigh Mathews, back in the day, could iron 20 shirts and 3 pairs of pants in an hour.

 

[MisterMarcus]

.

Dermie on making a pancake...

"When you are making a pancake.....and by 'making', I mean actually.....getting down....to the basics....of handling all the ingredients yourself....when you are making it.....the one key thing....that you must consider.....above all else......is the milk.....and when I say 'milk'....I don't just mean your ordinary everyday milk....it has to be a.....certain kind of milk....the one key type of milk that....will enable you....to make the best pancakes....and if you are capable....of achieving that...and finding that one certain type of milk....then and only then....can you move on....to the next important step.......what am I talking about again"???

 

[iBeng]

STRAP YOURSELVES IN FOLKS WE ARE IN FOR ONE SPECTACLE OF A MEDIA CONFERENCE HERE!! LITTLE HAS BEEN IN FINE FORM LATELY IN THE PUBLIC EYE, REALLY IMPROVING EVERYONES VIEW ON ESSENDON AND ITS INNOCENCE IN THIS EVIL SAGA AGAINST THEIR INTEGRITY! IM SURE WE ARE GOING TO SEE SOME BRILLIANT POINT MAKING FROM THE CLASSICAL TACTICIAN, EXPECT TO SEE PLENTY OF MISDIRECTIONS, CLAIMS OF BULLYING AND PLENTY OF DEFENDING OF THE PLAYERS THEMSELVES!