Vintage Bay BT Vs the Mundane

[Starburns_]

Let us pray 7 never get the rights to the cricket:

That was both magnificent and horrifying at the same time.

It was also the post that tipped this thread into definite "vintage" territory.

 

[royals1922]

I believe Bruth and Den did some cricket commentating

Bruth: Den did you see that languid stroke by the little master. The deftness, one could say, softness, of his touch, makes me just tingle inside. It was almost as if he did not touch the ball but the ball just spurted away, caressing the ground to the boundary.

Den: One might say it was special.

Bruth: It was better than special it was delicious. I just imagine that calypso machine hitting me repeatedly, the steady flow of his strokes on me, the man is a master.

Den: Indeed Bruce.

Bruth: Indeed as well as in word. You can see Brian whisper sweet nothings to the ball as he penetrates the field with his masterful stroke. Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhh.

 

[Dory_77]

That was both magnificent and horrifying at the same time.

It was also the post that tipped this thread into definite "vintage" territory.

I am truly humbled.

 

[Krujan]

BT, Darce...your thoughts please.

 

[Big Cox 88]

BT, Darce...your thoughts please.

BT: OH BOY WOWEE, HAVE THE CHILEANS COME OUT FIRING TODAY. THEY ARE HOT THAT'S FOR SURE. FRESH FROM THE SANTIAGO FOOTBALL FACTORY MY MAN VIDAL FED THAT THROUGH TO ALEXIS. IT WAS A BIT OF A CHAOS BALL BUT WOWEE OH BOY WAS IT A SPECIAL GOAL. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT DARCE?

Darce: Well BT I just think the socceroos are so brave. I love the way they are wearing the canary and the way they are going about it.

BT: THANKS FOR THAT INSIGHT DARCE. OHHHHHHHHHHH WOWWWWWW BIG BOY OAR BIG BOY OAR BIG BOY OAR STREAMING DOWN THE WING BUT HE SPRAYS IT ACROSS THE FACE WITH AN ABSOLUTE MONGREL. LOOK AT THE FOOT CANDY ON DISPLAY NOW BY THE CHILEAN DEFENDERS WOWEE THEY ARE TOYING WITH POSTECOGLU'S BOYS.

WOWEE WHAT A BLOCK BY LECKiE, MY MAN FROM THE BULLEEN FOOTY FACTORY, HE TAKES OF AND GOES BANG! WHAT A BALL TO FRANKIC. DARCE HAVE A LOOK AT THAT CROSS BY FRANKIC AND CAHILL WOWEEE GOAL BOY WOWEE GOAL BOY MY MAN CAHILL HAS NODDED IT IN. HE TURNS TO THE GROUND AND SAYS, I'M TIM CAHILL, AND I CAN DO THAT SORT OF THING, BECAUSE I'M TIMMY. OH BABY!!!
Darce: Wow how brave was that attack, such a brave effort by Cahill. I just love the way he goes about it.

Bruce on special comments: Oh Jee boys, you just feel that goal could be crucial in changing the momentum of this match don't you? Wow Frankic really caressed that down Cahill's throat what a delicious young player he is, is young Lecke. You just feel the next goal is huge in the context of this match. That's a real special by the socceroos. I would really love to polish Cahill's shoes and for him to be feeding me quality through balls[/QUOTE]

 

[Krujan]

BT: OH BOY WOWEE, HAVE THE CHILEANS COME OUT FIRING TODAY. THEY ARE HOT THAT'S FOR SURE. FRESH FROM THE SANTIAGO FOOTBALL FACTORY MY MAN VIDAL FED THAT THROUGH TO ALEXIS. IT WAS A BIT OF A CHAOS BALL BUT WOWEE OH BOY WAS IT A SPECIAL GOAL. WHAT ARE YOU'RE THOUGHTS ON THAT DARCE?

Darce: Well BT I just think the socceroos are so brave. I love the way they are wearing the canary and the way they are going about it.

BT: THANKS FOR THAT INSIGHT DARCE. OHHHHHHHHHHH WOWWWWWW BIG BOY OAR BIG BOY OAR BIG BOY OAR STREAMING DOWN THE WING BUT HE SPRAYS IT ACROSS THE FACE WITH AN ABSOLUTE MONGREL. LOOK AT THE FOOT CANDY ON DISPLAY NOW BY THE CHILEAN DEFENDERS WOWEE THEY ARE TOYING WITH POSTECOGLU'S BOYS.

WOWEE WHAT A BLOCK BY LECKE, MY MAN FROM THE BULLEEN FOOTY FACTORY, HE TAKES OF AND GOES BANG! WHAT A BALL TO FRANKIC. DARCE HAVE A LOOK AT THAT CROSS BY FRANKIC AND CAHILL WOWEEE GOAL BOY WOWEE GOAL BOY MY MAN CAHILL HAS NODDED IT IN PANDEMONIUM HERE IN BRAZIL.

Darce: Wow how brave was that attack, such a brave effort by Cahill. I just love the way he goes about it.

Bruce on special comments: Oh Jee boys, you just feel that goal could be crucial in changing the momentum of this match don't you? Wow Frankic really caressed that down Cahill's throat what a delicious young player he is, is young Lecke. You just feel the next goal is huge in the context of this match. That's a real special by the socceroos. I would really love to polish Cahill's shoes and for him to be feeding me quality through balls

Haha GOLD!

 

[Dory_77]

I think Betts' GOTY contender should not be nominated, purely so I don't have to listen to BT's horrendous ****ing commentary of it.

 

[Bailey01]

I think Betts' GOTY contender should not be nominated, purely so I don't have to listen to BT's horrendous ******* commentary of it.

Haha same with Wingard's mark with Der-Wayne Russell's commentary

 

[SuperSub17]

BOY OH BOY WOWEE CHECK OUT THE COMPOSURE ON BIG BOY THERE DARCE! I TELL YOU WHAT, HE'S GOT BOTH DUKES OUT HOLDING THE ROD, HE'S STARING DOWN THE OCEAN WITH THAT STEELY LOOK IN HIS EYE, SAYING "I CAN TAKE YOU ON, WHATEVER YOU THROW AT ME, I CAN OVERCOME!" AND HAVE A LOOK AT THE TOP-END RIG! OH BOY!

Darce: Spot on there Bristle, he's just got that brave look in his eye at the moment. The dangers are there for all to see, it's just so amazingly courageous. Vote on our viewer's question at home on Fango and see if you agree.

WOWEE, WHAT ABOUT THIS? HE'S GOT A BITE! CAN HE PULL IT IN? I RECKON HE CAN RICHO! HE'S WORKING THE REEL LIKE A MADMAN! I LIKE THE TECHNIQUE OF BIG BOY THERE, IT'S NIIIIICE AND COMPACT AND EVERYTHING IS WORKING IN A STRAIGHT LINE. LOOK AT THE HAND CANDY ON OFFERING THERE! HERE WE GO, IT LOOKS LI-

WELCOME BACK FROM THE AD BREAK, BOY YOU'D HAVE TO SAY THAT WAS A DISAPPOINTING RESULT. HE JUST LITERALLY LET IT SLIP THROUGH HIS FINGIES! I RECKON YOU COULD TEACH OUR MAN BIG BOY A THING OR TWO WAYNE!

Wayne Carey: Oh look Brian I don't feel any obligation to helping out to be honest, I mean I've given a lot back over the years. My phone is there if he wants it. Are we sure that's not Travis Cloke out there on the boat? There was just no composure there. You see if that was Chris Dawes out there he would have grabbed it.

WONDERFUL INSIGHT THERE DUCK, HOW ABOUT YOU TOM? WHAT COULD BIG BOY HAVE DONE BETTER?

Tom Harley: Oh there's a very simple solution there BT. Swisse multivitamins contain a healthy amount of natural fish oils. No need to go fishing for those.

OH BOY WOWEE HERE WE GO AGAIN! HE'S GOT ANOTHER ONE! LIKE I SAID I RECKON BIG BOY HAS A VERY NICE TECHNIQUE, EVERYTHING'S NICE AND SOLID. HE HAS TO WORK THIS ONE RIGHT TO LEFT OTHERWISE HE'S NO CHANCE. HERE WE GO, HE'S GONE FOR THE LEFT TO RIGHT! OH BOY HE'S PULLED IT IN! LOOK AT THAT FISH GO, IT'S CAUGHT A DOSE OF WORLD CUP FEVER DARCE! IT'S FLOPPING AROUND ON THE FLOOR LIKE AN ITALIAN PLAYER! CAN HE GET IT INTO THE BUCKET BEFORE HE LETS IT GET AWAY? LOOK AT THAT, HE'S GOT IT!

Darce: Oh what a great story this is. It was just sensational how Big Boy bounced back from adversity, he let the last one go, but he's come back against all the odds and overcome the terrible conditions. That's so unbelievably brave. I think the question needs to be asked, are we seeing the greatest fishing performance of the year? I'd say we are for mine.

 

[iBeng]

BT: IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE IN FOR A CHANGE FOLKS, THE NEEDLES POKING THE RED LIKE AN OVER EAGER TEENAGER AND THE FOOTS REACHING FOR THE CLUTCH! PRECISION MOVEMENT OF THE HAND TO THE GEAR STICK AND WE CAN REALLY SEE A DOMINATION OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW! HES GOT THE NEED FOR SPEED AND NO ONES GETTING IN HIS WAY! LOOK AT THIS DARCE, LOOK AT THE COURAGE OF THE MAN AS HE PUSHES THE CLUTCH IN AND SHIFTS UP TO FOURTH! AMAZING SPEED AND SKILL HERE FOLKS! BOY OH BOY, WOWEEE, THIS IS WHAT YOU PAY TO COME AND SEE, THIS IS WHY YOU LOVE THIS GAME!

Darce: You really feel like this has gone up a gear.

 

[Big Cox 88]

I think Betts' GOTY contender should not be nominated, purely so I don't have to listen to BT's horrendous ******* commentary of it.

A new line for everyone to incorporate now thanks to mr Eddie Betts last night (I may have ninja edited it into my post) is "He turns to the ground and says, I'm Eddie Betts, and I can do that sort of thing, because I'm Eddie!"

 

[iBeng]

BT:
QUITE THE SPECTACLE HERE FOLKS AS WE SEE THE SKILLED DRIVERS DISPLAYING THEIR COURAGE AND TALENT! THEY COME UP TO THE FIRST CORNER AND...YES...YES! THEY TURN LEFT! AMAZING DECISION MAKING SKILLS THERE FROM THE LEAD CAR AS HE COMES UP TO THE STRAIGHT, HIS FOOT HIS THE FLOOR LIKE AN ITALIAN AT THE DISCO, POWERING UP THE STRAIGHT WITH THOSE BEHIND IN HOT PURSUIT! WE COME UP TO ANOTHER CORNER HERE, WHAT WILL HE DO?! HES TURNED LEFT! WHAT A LIGHTNING QUICK ACTION THERE, YOU CAN REALLY FEEL HE HAS THIS IN THE BAG!

Lingy: The cars are going really fast down here BT

BT:
THANKS LINGY, IT MUST BE GREAT TO BE SO CLOSE TO THIS THRILLING ACTION! AND AS WE MENTION IT THE LEAD CAR HAS TAKEN ANOTHER LEFT TURN! ASTOUNDING, THATS THREE TURNS SO FAR THIS LAP! INSPIRATIONAL STUFF FROM THIS DRIVER, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT HES GOING TO DO NEXT!

 

[royals1922]

Den and Bruce are commentating with guest Brazilian soccer commentator Osvaldo Morales for special comments:

Bruce: Roughy's mark was special. Did you see how extended his arms and reach for the pill. That lead up work by Cyril was delicious. He's a magician as he weaved through the defenders.

Den: The defenders it would be fair to say were bobbing like corks in an ocean and Cyril just cut through them like knife through a butter.

Bruce: Roughy is now lining up-look at the concentration on that face, it's Juddy like.

Den: Roughhead moves and kicks the ball and it flies like a missile. Osvaldo what are you thoughts?

OM: Golllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
Golllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. Senor Roughead scores a gollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

 

[Reginald Perrin]

That was both magnificent and horrifying at the same time.

It was also the post that tipped this thread into definite "vintage" territory.

Seriously?

 

[iBeng]

Seriously?

View attachment 62422

BOY OH BOY WATCH AS THE LISTERINE STRIP GOES DOWN HIS GULLET, BOY OH BOY, DARCY GET ME A TOWEL!

 

[Reginald Perrin]

BOY OH BOY WATCH AS THE LISTERINE STRIP GOES DOWN HIS GULLET, BOY OH BOY, DARCY GET ME A TOWEL!

AMI don't do Listerine.

 

[royals1922]

BOY OH BOY WATCH AS THE LISTERINE STRIP GOES DOWN HIS GULLET, BOY OH BOY, DARCY GET ME A TOWEL!

Bruce: And did you see the way that listerine strip was caressed down his throat. That's sure to give him a warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

 

[Reginald Perrin]

BOY OH BOY WATCH AS THE LISTERINE STRIP GOES DOWN HIS GULLET, BOY OH BOY, DARCY GET ME A TOWEL!

It's not actually a Listerine strip, BT.

WHAT IS IT THEN, DARCE? ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IS GENUINE HAND CANDY I'M SPYING? BOY, OH BOY! WOWEE! HAS HE BEEN SHOPPING AT A TOP CONFECTIONER. THAT WOULD BE GUARANTEED TO PUT A SMILE ON MRS WONKA'S DIAL, DON'T YOU RECKON?

It just might do, Bristle, but not quite in the way you're thinking. It's probably more something you use after dark.

BLACK OPS YOU RECKON, DARCE? NUMBS THE TONGUE TO STOP HIM PASSING ON CLUB SECRETS? THAT'S A RIPPER IDEA, PERHAPS ESSENDON SHOULD HAVE FED SOME TO THE WEAPON. THEY MIGHT NOT BE AT THE BOTTOM OF THAT BARREL FULL OF SHIT THEY'RE IN RIGHT NOW. WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO SIT IN ON THOSE TEAM MEETINGS. BOY, OH BOY! WOWEE! ASADA, THE INVESTIGATORS FROM ASSUMPTION COLLEGE HAVE A VERTICAL LEAP BIGGER THAN MAJAK DAW AND THEY ARE CLINGING TO THE PILL LIKE I CLING TO A POTATO PIE.

Jesus Brian, stay focused. It's to stop you coming too early.

WHY WOULD PEOPLE WANT TO STOP ME COMING EARLY DARCE? MORNING IS WHEN I DO MY BEST WORK. BOY, OH BOY! WOWEE! A COUPLE OF BANAAAANAAAAS ON THE WEETBIX AND I'M GOLDEN. I COULD CALL GAMES ALL DAY. CHECK ME OUT IN THE WHITE SHORTS, DARCE. I'M READY FOR A FULL DAY OF GETTING EXCITED OVER MY MAN BALLANTYNE, THE MAYOR OF MANDURAH! THE LITTLE PORPIE!.... Aww, shit. Right through the y-fronts. Better get me that towel for real now, Darce.

 

[Costanza_]

Even BT is at a loss...

BIG BOY SLATER-ROY MUSCLES STRAIGHT UP THE PARK, AND BOY OH BOY HES DOWN AGAIN! FIVE TIMES IN A ROW DARCE-EEEEE, THE CASSETTE MUST BE JAMMED! THE WALKMAN HAS RUN OUT OF DOUBLE A'S! YOU'D NEED A FAIR DINKUM CASE OF THE McOZ BURGERS TO WATCH THIS.

UP HE GETS AGAIN AND DEAR OH DEAR HE'S DROPPED IT COLD! STRAIGHT BETWEEN HIS LEGS, THE OLD NUTMEG WITH A SPRIG OF ROSEMARY EY RICHO? IT WENT STRAIGHT THROUGH THE DUKES LIKE A COLD SPOON THROUGH LARD!

BUT BOY OH BOY, THE UMP'S MISSED IT! NOT EVEN AN ATTEMPT AT A HANDBALL! THE UMP HAS SWALLOWED HIS WHISTLE QUICKER THAN OLD MRS HOTTENTOT ON NAVY OPEN DAY! FORGET THE COAL UMPY, YOU'LL BE GETTING AN OPSM VOUCHER IN THE CHRISTMAS SOCK.

 

[marshhhhh]

Thank god we have BT to tell us where every single player on the ground comes from.

 

[Matt Stevic]

View attachment 62131

BT: IT LOOKS LIKE WE ARE IN FOR A CHANGE FOLKS, THE NEEDLES POKING THE RED LIKE AN OVER EAGER TEENAGER AND THE FOOTS REACHING FOR THE CLUTCH! PRECISION MOVEMENT OF THE HAND TO THE GEAR STICK AND WE CAN REALLY SEE A DOMINATION OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW! HES GOT THE NEED FOR SPEED AND NO ONES GETTING IN HIS WAY! LOOK AT THIS DARCE, LOOK AT THE COURAGE OF THE MAN AS HE PUSHES THE CLUTCH IN AND SHIFTS UP TO FOURTH! AMAZING SPEED AND SKILL HERE FOLKS! BOY OH BOY, WOWEEE, THIS IS WHAT YOU PAY TO COME AND SEE, THIS IS WHY YOU LOVE THIS GAME!

Darce: You really feel like this has gone up a gear.

OMFG...that last line...I read it...almost died!!!

 

[marshhhhh]

Do like him telling the umpires how it is mind you.

 

[flaps]

TOTY

 

[iBeng]

BT: BOY OH BOY WHAT A BIG ****TER WE HAVE HERE!

 

[Costanza_]

BT: BOY OH BOY WHAT A BIG ****TER WE HAVE HERE!

Beat me to it.

BOY OH BOY HE'S RAISED HIS DUKE AND ACKNOWLEDGED THE CROWD, THE OLD TURD BURGLAR SALUTE! I'LL BET THOSE FINGERS HAVE BEEN RUMMAGING AROUND IN THE CHOCOLATE SANDBOX, AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MRS PIGGYS PRESCHOOL PLAY-PEN!

HEAVENS TO BETSY, LOOK AT THE BIG WOOLY WOOFTER NOW! HE'S SPLAYED THAT THUMB AND INDEX FINGER SO FAR APART HE'S SCREAMING OUT FOR A THROBBING GRISTLE STICK TO GRASP! NO WONDER HE'S ALWAYS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PACK LINGY, HE'D FAIR DINKUM BE IN ****TER PARADISE WITH ALL THOSE HAIRY COIN-SLOTS IN HIS FACE!

AND WHATS IN HIS KIT BAG THERE RICHO? I'D WAGER AUNTY MARY'S LEFT OVARY THAT IT'S PACKED TO THE GILLS WITH **** RODS AND BUTT PLUGS, NOT A PAIR OF FOOTY BOOTS IN SIGHT!