Certified Legendary Thread Duritz in "Annoy a corporate"

[Oraaaaazio]

hhahahahaahaha the free hams and the "retaded" voiceover guy had me losing it. You're far too good at coming up with idiotic things to say Duritz.... you sure you're not a professional?

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

daniel doesnt win any employee of the month honours thats for sure, and i thought SB liked fish?

 

[Duritz]

sportsbet again...

Hi, you are currently talking with Samuel

Samuel16:10
Thanks for your enquiry. Can I please confirm your account number or username, full name and DOB?

macca16:10
hi samule i dont have an ccoutn yet but i wsa thinking of opening one



Samuel16:11
Great idea Macca, how may I help?

macca16:11
and i had a question - whats the biggest bet i culd put on?



Samuel16:12
That would depend on the market and the odds that are being offered

macca16:12
see weve got a horse thats not had any races yet and the traner says it will be a champion and we want to win as much as we can when it has its first start in a few days at wodonga


macca16:12
he says hes got something extra hes going to give it to be sure he recokns


macca16:13
i was hoping we culd get a bonus bet on it as well as having a lot on it


macca16:14
i could put it in my girlfriends name too if that halps



Samuel16:15
The max limits terms & conditions can be found under number 53 on the following lin: https://help.sportsbet.com.au/app/a...et-rules,-terms-&-conditions#MaximumWinLimits


Samuel16:15
Depending on your residency you can get a Bonus Bet up to $100 with your first bet

macca16:16
ok yes but also i no that if ur a losing punter you can pretty much have as much on as you want, so samule what if i opened an account now, had liek heaps of bets tomorrow and lost on pretty much all of them right, lost a coupel of grnad or something cos thats not much to me im a bit of a bigwig, then maybe i culd get 100 grand on monday on our horse?



Samuel16:16
The terms and conditions for that offer can be found on the following link: http://www.sportsbet.com.au/content/offers/first-bet/


Samuel16:18
All bets are at traders discression, we are not able to promise anything in the way of guaranteeing Bonus Bets

macca16:18
ok no worries



Samuel16:19
Just out curiosity Macca, what's the name of your horse?

macca16:19
i think id like the account in my girlfriends name to keep it a bit more secret and that but i have a question, does it matter that shes in jail?



Samuel16:20
You can't sign up an account under another persons name, sorry


Samuel16:20
Is there anything else I can help you with?

macca16:20
they get the internet at barwon prison tho so she culd open it right?


macca16:21
they get an hour a day if they have behaved


macca16:21
sometimes if you give a little extra to the guard u get longer, if u no what i mean



Samuel16:22
As long as she clears it with the jail it is fine with us


Samuel16:22
Is there anything else I can help you with?

macca16:22
ok no thats all thanks ill get her to open one tonight in her name and ill bet on it then back the good thing on monday


Samuel16:23
All the best Macca, hope your horse gets up!

Samuel has disconnected.

 

[monotone]

Lifted on that one, thread is back on track

 

[rideclutch]

Lol @ Samule + giving in and wanting to know the horse's name

 

[X_box_X]

LOL @ Samuel wanting to know the name of your horse. Haha Samuel wants to get on himself.

And giving the Barwon Prison guard "a little extra"

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

Samuel goina get fired.

 

[TheExtractorFactor]

Lol. How many times a day do you reckon these pricks call people over to see what dumb sh1t the punters are saying

 

[iluvparis]

amuel16:22
As long as she clears it with the jail it is fine with us


amazing!!

 

[KardiniaPark]

sportsbet again...

Hi, you are currently talking with Samuel

Samuel16:10
Thanks for your enquiry. Can I please confirm your account number or username, full name and DOB?

macca16:10
hi samule i dont have an ccoutn yet but i wsa thinking of opening one



Samuel16:11
Great idea Macca, how may I help?

macca16:11
and i had a question - whats the biggest bet i culd put on?



Samuel16:12
That would depend on the market and the odds that are being offered

macca16:12
see weve got a horse thats not had any races yet and the traner says it will be a champion and we want to win as much as we can when it has its first start in a few days at wodonga


macca16:12
he says hes got something extra hes going to give it to be sure he recokns


macca16:13
i was hoping we culd get a bonus bet on it as well as having a lot on it


macca16:14
i could put it in my girlfriends name too if that halps



Samuel16:15
The max limits terms & conditions can be found under number 53 on the following lin: https://help.sportsbet.com.au/app/answers/detail/a_id/16/~/sportsbet-rules,-terms-&-conditions#MaximumWinLimits


Samuel16:15
Depending on your residency you can get a Bonus Bet up to $100 with your first bet

macca16:16
ok yes but also i no that if ur a losing punter you can pretty much have as much on as you want, so samule what if i opened an account now, had liek heaps of bets tomorrow and lost on pretty much all of them right, lost a coupel of grnad or something cos thats not much to me im a bit of a bigwig, then maybe i culd get 100 grand on monday on our horse?



Samuel16:16
The terms and conditions for that offer can be found on the following link: http://www.sportsbet.com.au/content/offers/first-bet/


Samuel16:18
All bets are at traders discression, we are not able to promise anything in the way of guaranteeing Bonus Bets

macca16:18
ok no worries



Samuel16:19
Just out curiosity Macca, what's the name of your horse?

macca16:19
i think id like the account in my girlfriends name to keep it a bit more secret and that but i have a question, does it matter that shes in jail?



Samuel16:20
You can't sign up an account under another persons name, sorry


Samuel16:20
Is there anything else I can help you with?

macca16:20
they get the internet at barwon prison tho so she culd open it right?


macca16:21
they get an hour a day if they have behaved


macca16:21
sometimes if you give a little extra to the guard u get longer, if u no what i mean



Samuel16:22
As long as she clears it with the jail it is fine with us


Samuel16:22
Is there anything else I can help you with?

macca16:22
ok no thats all thanks ill get her to open one tonight in her name and ill bet on it then back the good thing on monday


Samuel16:23
All the best Macca, hope your horse gets up!

Samuel has disconnected.

Haha Sam was totally putting it in his black book hahaha amazing.

 

[Duritz]

I bet Samuel backs all the first starters at Wodonga on Monday...

 

[balmainforever]

It's seem quite simple to me that Duritz is the master here and no one else can come close.

 

[Duritz]

It's seem quite simple to me that Duritz is the master here and no one else can come close.

Very nice of you to say. I must reluctantly agree...

 

[Duritz]

Lol. How many times a day do you reckon these pricks call people over to see what dumb sh1t the punters are saying

I reckon it would happen a bit, TBH. When you get some clown on there I reckon you'd call someone over and say, "look at this ****ing idiot."

 

[Duritz]

haha, nice title change, though I'll look like a self congratulating knob now...










(which might've been the point of the change...)

 

[KardiniaPark]

haha, nice title change, though I'll look like a self congratulating knob now...

Fancy that

 

[Duritz]

Hey!!

 

[Duritz]

sportsbet logo
Hi, you are currently talking with Jason

Jason19:06
Thanks for your enquiry. Can I please confirm your account number or username, full name and DOB?

Farooq19:06
hello yes no i do not have an account yet but i had a question



Jason19:06
ok.

Farooq19:07
I am wanting to be opening an account but I am needing to know if you are betting on the cricket 20-20 world cup



Jason19:08
ICC World T20 Matches Yes.

Farooq19:08
oh this is wonderful news


Farooq19:08
so you will be doing the betting on the Pakistan game against the hated India tomorrow yes?


Farooq19:10
hello Jason are you there? It says "jason is listening" but I have finished talking for now and was waiting on an answer to my question please thank you



Jason19:10
Yes, just give me a moment..

Farooq19:11
you are doing a lot of listening, I am told that the women love that, but I would not know I do not listen to my wife, she is very very boring



Jason19:12
Yes we do have betting on that match tomorrow.

Farooq19:12
oh this is wonderful news also


Farooq19:14
I very much enjoy betting on no balls, and whether a bowler will bowl a no ball at a certain time, it is a real hobby of mine, so my next question is can I place a bet on my most favourite player to bowl a no ball at a certain time?


Farooq19:15
for example, my most favourite player is Mohammad Sami, and I would like to place a significant wager on him to bowl a no ball in the 14th over, just a little hobby of mine, is this possible?



Jason19:16
won't be a moment, just having a look for you... I don't think I've seen that one before...


Jason19:18
No sorry we don't have a market for this.

Farooq19:18
oh you do not have a market for this?


Farooq19:18
oh my my my this is not wonderful news


Farooq19:18
can you please to be recommending me to who might be having a market on this?



Jason19:19
No one in Australia.

Farooq19:19
oh my my my my


Farooq19:19
it is just a hobby of mine, I like to pick no balls, I have had some wonderful successes with this in the past


Farooq19:20
I was betting with a man named Fawed back home when I was still in Pakistan, but he went missing one day and a week later was found floating in the Chenab river


Farooq19:21
so I look for other bookmakers now that I am in the wonderful Australia


Farooq19:21
I was excited because someone told me Australians would "bet on two flies up a wall", and that is another of my hobbies



Jason19:22
LOL LOL

Farooq19:22
I do not understand those words, but thankyou for your time, I will have to find another bookmaker



Jason19:23
Cheers, Good luck! And welcome to Oz!

 

[FallingLiefs]

some of your best work

 

[A11dAtP0w3R]

Moar Farooq!

 

[iluvparis]

Chenab river - lost it

 

[X_box_X]

I will lose my shit if Sami actually does bowl a no ball in the 14th over.

 

[terminators]

Quality!

 

[Kynge of Begrem]

Thread of the century

 

[rideclutch]

Farooq19:20
I was betting with a man named Fawed back home when I was still in Pakistan, but he went missing one day and a week later was found floating in the Chenab river

Holy **** I'm dead

Your finest effort Duritz.