Family & Relationships How do you get over a girl?

[davoss]

I find myself in this situation also now for the first time. We broke up on Saturday because 'its not the right time for her to have a bf' or some shit like that.

Anyway she is the one that ended it although it is also kind of a mutual thing as well, she still wants to be friends but has also told me that maybe being single will make her realise how much she loves me etc and has also told me she knows that she will want to get back together with me.

So now i am getting texts from her saying how much she misses me already and that she wants to be with me so bad and wants to talk all the time.

Im confused as fcuk and got no idea what to do. Any advice?

 

[Caesar]

'Not being the right time for a boyfriend' is a cop-out. Did Allie tell Noah that it wasn't the right time for her to have a boyfriend when he showed up while she was engaged to that other dude? Wikipedia says no. If a girl really wants to be with a guy, it doesn't matter if he's in gaol and she's pregnant with someone else's child. That just means they're star-crossed lovers, the modern equivalent of Romeo and Juliet.

As far as her constantly texting you and wanting to talk - don't give in. 'Let's be friends' is always either a platitude or just a way for her to have the best of both worlds, and it sounds like the latter. She broke up with you, she forfeited the right to that sort of stuff.

Full davoss embargo - if she really misses you that much then she should get back together with you. Aside from it making it next to impossible for you to get over her, if you acquiesce to her requests then it will just reinforce that she can get what she wants from you on her terms and you're even more likely to stay broken up.

Good luck.

 

[davoss]

'Not being the right time for a boyfriend' is a cop-out. Did Allie tell Noah that it wasn't the right time for her to have a boyfriend when he showed up while she was engaged to that other dude? Wikipedia says no. If a girl really wants to be with a guy, it doesn't matter if he's in gaol and she's pregnant with someone else's child. That just means they're star-crossed lovers, the modern equivalent of Romeo and Juliet.

As far as her constantly texting you and wanting to talk - don't give in. 'Let's be friends' is always either a platitude or just a way for her to have the best of both worlds, and it sounds like the latter. She broke up with you, she forfeited the right to that sort of stuff.

Full davoss embargo - if she really misses you that much then she should get back together with you. Aside from it making it next to impossible for you to get over her, if you acquiesce to her requests then it will just reinforce that she can get what she wants from you on her terms and you're even more likely to stay broken up.

Good luck.

This is exactly what i told her when she texted me. All i got was some bullshit reply of 'aww i'm so confused and not sure if i made the right decision, i dont know whats wrong with me'

And to top it off i find out that someone who i thought was well not quite a mate but a friend of a friend had been into other peoples ears about is she single yet etc. Part of me wants her to want me back so i can just shoot her down and really make her feel terrible like she did to me.

 

[Caesar]

The correct answer to that sort of text is a polite version of 'that's not my problem, get back to me when you sort yourself out'.

Focus the frustration into something else. The best revenge is to be completely classy about the whole thing, and leave her always wondering if she made the right decision. It's always better to be a girl's 'what if' guy rather than 'that guy who became a complete tool when I dumped him'.

 

[davoss]

Well my reply was something along the lines of yeah i dont know whats wrong with you either, hopefully you sort yourself out.

I have been classy about it so far and to be honest im not really the type to act a complete dick anyway. Im still going to give her a nod or wave if i see her around. She will realise soon enough that not every guy will treat her the way i did, i hope anyway.

 

[daddy_4_eyes]

I find myself in this situation also now for the first time. We broke up on Saturday because 'its not the right time for her to have a bf' or some shit like that.

Anyway she is the one that ended it although it is also kind of a mutual thing as well, she still wants to be friends but has also told me that maybe being single will make her realise how much she loves me etc and has also told me she knows that she will want to get back together with me.

So now i am getting texts from her saying how much she misses me already and that she wants to be with me so bad and wants to talk all the time.

Im confused as fcuk and got no idea what to do. Any advice?

She's either with you or she's not, otherwise she is just hedging her bets. She's keeping you in the loop just in case loneliness sets in, but otherwise she is exploring her options.

 

[Allbetsroff]

Ignore her phone calls, delete her texts get on with life. If she actually cared about you she would talk to your face, not through a phone like a coward.

 

[Sebastian Balboa]

So guys have you ever gone for the extra mile to save a relationship?

What worked and what didnt?.

Just from experience, if you're the one needing to go "an extra mile", it's not looking good before you even start. The mile tends to never end. In my case, I realised this then gave up compromising too much.

Here's another aspect of a r'ship: If a female does not find you sexually attractive anymore, then you're gone in her eyes, no matter how many tears, and dollars, you spill. Because once she's made up her mind, her heart, body and soul tend to follow.

I've lived thru it, survived and have seen the other side, I'm ready to write another inspiring chapter in my insignificant life.

 

[swiftdog]

Messaged lady on Saturday seeing if she wants to grab lunch this week, we have some shit to talk about as we have some history (normally I'd call to set up a date but it's more of a catch-up sort of thing so i texted). Get a message later on in the day saying she's out atm and she'll text me tomorrow, tomorrow being sunday. No message received on sunday.

Hard to explain our history but it sort of seems like she could be screwing with me. However, I have kind of suggested in the past that it seems like she is messing with me and she was genuinely pissed at me for suggesting that. I was pretty convinced at the time that I was wrong and some things that had been said had just been misunderstood. I really don't think it's her personality to mess with someone and I don't understand why she messaged me in the first place on Saturday if she was just planning on ignoring me.

My options as I see it are do nothing and play it cool or message/ring in the next couple of days. Doing nothing's probably the smarter option but at the same time I don't think it's right to just put up with this and I think she should know that. Despite all the crap that's gone on between us I don't want to just 'move on', we're not together so i'm still hooking up with other girls, but tbh this girl is actually (believe it or not) a quality girl and I do want her atm to be a part of my life.

 

[footyfreak]

BTW hanging with the boys is horrible advice. The boys are generally tossers who will make the matter worse. They are okay for fun but in times of seriousness they should be as far away as possible

Not sure if you have any friends or they are just all f'wits but what a load of shit.

Your advice is shithouse as well. I advice anyone reading this thread to not listen to this person if unless you want to turn into a wussy little girl!

 

[footyfreak]

My options as I see it are do nothing and play it cool or message/ring in the next couple of days. Doing nothing's probably the smarter option but at the same time I don't think it's right to just put up with this and I think she should know that. Despite all the crap that's gone on between us I don't want to just 'move on', we're not together so i'm still hooking up with other girls, but tbh this girl is actually (believe it or not) a quality girl and I do want her atm to be a part of my life.

The bold part is your answer

 

[Mancey]

Not sure if you have any friends or they are just all f'wits but what a load of shit.

Your advice is shithouse as well. I advice anyone reading this thread to not listen to this person if unless you want to turn into a wussy little girl!

100%

Seriously, when i ever broke up with a mrs, the number 1 thing that would always make me feel better was to get the hell away with a couple of close mates and go fishing/surfing etc.

Can't think of any time my mates have acted like tossers in that situation, would be pretty shit mates if they did

Sometimes a good idea to leave the phone at home on trips like these. Stops the chick trying to call you and removes the temptation to try and contact them (always, 100% the worst thing you can do and will almost always result in you further emasculating yourself)

 

[King Elvis]

Mikey is back?

 

[Mancey]

Hail the great man

 

[Ricketts]

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment
Would you capture it? Or just let it slip?

 

[breeno]

Yo, his palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already
Mom's spaghetti

 

[davoss]

She's either with you or she's not, otherwise she is just hedging her bets. She's keeping you in the loop just in case loneliness sets in, but otherwise she is exploring her options.

Shes seriously doing my head in. Tells me today that she still loves me and cant keep away from me, always in contact etc. Then i ignore messages for a solid hour and get hit up with are you already talking to other girls and all that shit. Keeps saying she wishes to be with me, ahhhh im confused

 

[Caesar]

Yo, his palms are sweaty
Knees weak arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already
Mom's spaghetti

There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

 

[nicky]

Shes seriously doing my head in. Tells me today that she still loves me and cant keep away from me, always in contact etc. Then i ignore messages for a solid hour and get hit up with are you already talking to other girls and all that shit. Keeps saying she wishes to be with me, ahhhh im confused

Dis-engage.

 

[woopedazz]

A medium-sized ladder.

 

[shibz_1989]

Yeah basically. Its really more of a break then a breakup. Still have no drive to do anything eventhough my life is busy as all hell. That first reply looks fun though hahaha

Oh wow! Same shit happened to me. Except with a guy (because I'm a girl). Anyway, it was ok for a few months but it just turned to shit. So basically, the best way to "move on" is to just give it time. It's been almost 6 months since I last spoke to my ex, and there have been a few times where I've thought about him etc but I'm feeling heaps better for it

 

[dales.girl38]

Dis-engage.

This.

She sounds a bit crazy.

 

[swiftdog]

The bold part is your answer

Well she ended up messaging me today. She's only 19 (I'm 21) but things started to go south between us (not in the good way) a while ago. Nevertheless I thought that the whole wait a while to message mindgame was sort of done between us, the whole "don't show too much interest" thing. We've already started throwing our cards out on the table and if there wasn't any interest on her part she's had plenty of chances to tell me that (I do suspect a bit of interest on her part).

Tempted to wait a couple of days to message or call her back but I don't know, it just seems petty to wait after the crap we've already been through. I wait a couple of days, she'll wait a couple of days again and the cycle continues.

What does GD think? Wait till Thursday (drunk texting on wednesday maybe not such a good idea) or just shoot her one tomorrow? I usually do, at the very least, reply the next day but maybe I just need to give her something she's not used to and "play the game" a bit again.

 

[King Elvis]

Shes seriously doing my head in. Tells me today that she still loves me and cant keep away from me, always in contact etc. Then i ignore messages for a solid hour and get hit up with are you already talking to other girls and all that shit. Keeps saying she wishes to be with me, ahhhh im confused

Mate, tell her flat out - either we're together, or we aren't.

If you can't have her, she can't have you - simple as that.

Not easy, but you have to do it, because the alternative is your current situation, which is more ****ed up than Mitch's Sunshine Square proposal.


Swift - Don't play her games mate; either text her, or better, ring her, now. That's if you want to actually contact her.

 

[ClarkeM]

It's called Big Day Out