Little things you do just to be a dick

[Varcoe2Chapman]

When people offer me finger food at parties i respond with
"No thanks, i'm driving"
I get some bewildered looks. My mates hate it because they've heard it over a thousand times, but the important thing is that i get a cheap laugh out of it.

 

[Piss Poor]

This is not really a good one but when I see a cop pull someone over on the side, I yell out in my car as loud as I can- That's what you get you barstard and laugh really loud regardless of if I'm alone or someone's in my car with me.

 

[Impunity!]

This is not really a good one but when I see a cop pull someone over on the side, I yell out in my car as loud as I can- That's what you get you barstard and laugh really loud regardless of if I'm alone or someone's in my car with me.

Well at least we were warned.

 

[Clint Beastwood]

This is not really a good one but when I see a cop pull someone over on the side, I yell out in my car as loud as I can- That's what you get you barstard and laugh really loud regardless of if I'm alone or someone's in my car with me.

The quality of this one really reflects your username. You must be a really good person.

 

[quickstraw]

When I'm at an airport and the hot looking check in girl asks me if I have anything sharp in my luggage or on myself I say "just my prick". Only been arrested twice for this.

 

[quickstraw]

Went into Subway and ordered an 11" sub. Guy lost his shit at me. Don't think I was the first to use that joke.

 

[quickstraw]

I go to the deli section of Woolworths, take a ticket and go do some other shopping. When I come back I go get another ticket so people think I have just arrived. Then they call my first ticket and I put my hand up and order my food.

 

[quickstraw]

Whenever they have a remembrance day parade I walk up to a cop and say "what's the parade for?" and they go "remembrance day for all the fallen officers on duty". I say "shame you couldn't remember anything at the Royal commission".

 

[quickstraw]

When people offer me finger food at parties i respond with
"No thanks, i'm driving"
I get some bewildered looks. My mates hate it because they've heard it over a thousand times, but the important thing is that i get a cheap laugh out of it.

I knew a guy who every time someone would ask him the time when he was out drinking he's get his dick out and strap it across his arm like a watch. Got some funny reactions from random blokes and chicks.

 

[Piss Poor]

The quality of this one really reflects your username. You must be a really good person.

Thank you, and have a nice day to you too.

 

[Freofalcon]

On site, our Leading Hand is really anal about the cleanliness of our storage container/office. So everytime he cleans it out and sweeps the floors, I put a shovel load of gravel in there.

 

[Clint Beastwood]

Thank you, and have a nice day to you too.

You're very welcome, thank you

 

[DrKrieger]

Me and about 5 or 6 mates did this when we were tanked one night coming home as 18/19 year olds.

We saw about 5 of those orange pole things, we put them across one half of Melrose Drive blocking the entire the road for one way, we thought it was ******* hilarious. The bloke that moved them probably didn't think so though.

----

I did the crossing thing today because I was pissed off.

Not mine but involves use of a traffic cone

 

[Quivorir]

I post 5 times in a row within 8 minutes when I could have put it in one post.

 

[Deliverance]

I post 5 times in a row within 8 minutes when I could have put it in one post.

That

 

[Deliverance]

is probably

 

[Deliverance]

really annoying

 

[Deliverance]

to some people.

 

[Quivorir]

When using the toilet, if I'm about to use the last bit of toilet roll I will leave 1 or 2 sheets in so I don't have to change it.

 

[bkozican]

My sister hates me doing this, I sometimes have to drop her off at work....On the way we pass the local footy club. Now on a Monday or Wednesday there is usually young kids "Auskick, U13" training, (keep in mind once upon a time, these were the stomping grounds back in my day) I will hang out the window with my fist pumped, yelling "Come on boys, Premiership this year". The looks that I get from parents on the ground and my sister are priceless. I used to do as my own little way of hyping the boys up.....Now I do it to just shame the sister.

On a few occasions I have had one of the auskick kids yell back with his fist pumped......

 

[ep2018]

When I was a kid I used to rent N64 games from Blockbuster then before I returned them I wiped all the game saves.

 

[ep2018]

I post 5 times in a row within 8 minutes when I could have put it in one post.

I do that too.

 

[bkozican]

When I was a kid I used to rent N64 games from Blockbuster then before I returned them I wiped all the game saves.

 

[Gough]

When using the toilet, if I'm about to use the last bit of toilet roll I will leave 1 or 2 sheets in so I don't have to change it.

You're worse than Hitler and Lance Armstrong combined.

 

[Kram]

When someone is using one of those portable metal site toilets throw a brick at the side of it.