Vintage Bay Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2019 - Now featuring the bottom 5 Arnott's biscuits

[Haduken]

Jack Riewoldt must be a lock after tonight

nah my guess is that Mofra's rabid anti_essendon obsession is now wedged so firmly up his ass that he will be unable to resist putting Stringer or Shiel at the No 1 spot

 

[Laphroaig]

nah my guess is that Mofra's rabid anti_essendon obsession is now wedged so firmly up his ass that he will be unable to resist putting Stringer or Shiel at the No 1 spot

Both deserving nominees.

• Looks like Tarzan plays like Jane
• Looks like a dumb campaigner, plays like a dumb campaigner

 

[Maxabillions]

Players #31 - Aaron Sandilands

View attachment 749313
Pictured: Aaron Sandilands chases West Coast champion and anti-drug campaigner Sam Mitchell

This is accurate

 

[Mofra]

Player #30 - Billy Stretch


Pictured: Billy freezes in his tracks as the clown from IT appears at Melbourne training, sans make-up

Billy Stretch is a real name and not a misguided player instruction or B grade action hero. He plays football for Melbourne.

Billy was a father/son draftee in 2014 as his dad Steven played for Melbourne. Like his dad, Billy is a wingman. He plays outside, very very outside. Over 70% of his disposals are uncontested so he clearly likes body contact about as much as Clementine Ford.

This year he managed 9 games to bring his career tally to 47. He is, effectively, a fringe player for the 17th team in the competition and at 180cm and 77kgs isn't exactly striking fear into the opposition either. In fairness to Billy, he did actually show a lot of promise in 2016 when he played 16 games. As we all know, football peaked that year and just hasn't been as good since.

According to the Melbourne Football Club his strength is his 'running and ability to get from contest to contest' but when you're 15kgs lighter than everyone else (something WCE fans have never experienced) his impact at said contest is likely to be minimal. Sure it's nice to make an appearance at the ball but you actually have to do something - he's basically the nervous 14 year old WoW teenager at a Blue Light Disco of the AFL. He relies on your Oliver/Brayshaw one-way running ball-winning types to feed the ball out to him but based on this year it just didn't work for him.

It's a shame really as he is apparently quite the professional off-field. By that I mean he is disciplined and trains hard, and not in the 'working girls near Clifton Hill Macca's that are visited by Robbo quite a lot' kind of way. He has dash but not a lot of hurt factor by foot. As a winger, he has ok disposal for an inside mid. As an inside mid, he'd touch less ball than Ruby Rose. That's Billy in a nutshell - more catch 22 than best 22.

Anyway Billy good luck next year, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.

 

[Bastyy]

You can't pretend that's not a picture of Clayton Oliver I see right through you Mofra

 

[Kangaroos4eva]

Still waiting for Shaun Atley’s entry, Mofra.

 

[LC_15]

so he clearly likes body contact about as much as Clementine Ford

Gold Jerry, Gold.

 

[Back One Out]

Yes [Greene] has earlier problems - pure scumbag. Amazing that anyone would be so morally bankrupt to defend him.

Play Nice - Toby Greene

I wasn't aware that clubs are allowed to launch into the MRO without any risk of being fined like Connors and Bartel have been doing this week

www.bigfooty.com

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Player #30 - Billy Stretch

View attachment 751514
Pictured: Billy freezes in his tracks as the clown from IT appears at Melbourne training, sans make-up

Billy Stretch is a real name and not a misguided player instruction or B grade action hero. He plays football for Melbourne.

Billy was a father/son draftee in 2014 as his dad Steven played for Melbourne. Like his dad, Billy is a wingman. He plays outside, very very outside. Over 70% of his disposals are uncontested so he clearly likes body contact about as much as Clementine Ford.

This year he managed 9 games to bring his career tally to 47. He is, effectively, a fringe player for the 17th team in the competition and at 180cm and 77kgs isn't exactly striking fear into the opposition either. In fairness to Billy, he did actually show a lot of promise in 2016 when he played 16 games. As we all know, football peaked that year and just hasn't been as good since.

According to the Melbourne Football Club his strength is his 'running and ability to get from contest to contest' but when you're 15kgs lighter than everyone else (something WCE fans have never experienced) his impact at said contest is likely to be minimal. Sure it's nice to make an appearance at the ball but you actually have to do something - he's basically the nervous 14 year old WoW teenager at a Blue Light Disco of the AFL. He relies on your Oliver/Brayshaw one-way running ball-winning types to feed the ball out to him but based on this year it just didn't work for him.

It's a shame really as he is apparently quite the professional off-field. By that I mean he is disciplined and trains hard, and not in the 'working girls near Clifton Hill Macca's that are visited by Robbo quite a lot' kind of way. He has dash but not a lot of hurt factor by foot. As a winger, he has ok disposal for an inside mid. As an inside mid, he'd touch less ball than Ruby Rose. That's Billy in a nutshell - more catch 22 than best 22.

Anyway Billy good luck next year, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.

Great write up!
And he's at about the same level as the Wagner's. Maybe slightly above.

Also his old man was the one who gave away the free kick to Gary Buckenara in the 87 PF

 

[____]

Never heard of Billy Stretch until now

 

[Sellout Scully]

Speaks volumes that in a team crying for outside run he still couldn't get a game. Worthy entry.

 

[The Falcon Strike]

I see Mofra has gone with the same strategy as last year and has started throwing random names in hoping no one notices.

What's a fletcher roberts? or a billy stretch?

You aren't fooling anyone.

 

[The Joker]

If Cam McCarthy isn't #1 this campaigner needs to throw in the towel.

Ballas is top 5 material.

 

[WillHayward]

He didn't get much of the ball around the ground either, demonstrating all the mobility of his brother Kyle.

 

[WillHayward]

Great write up!
And he's at about the same level as the Wagner's. Maybe slightly above.

Also his old man was the one who gave away the free kick to Gary Buckenara in the 87 PF

I always thought that was Jimmy Stynes

 

[WillHayward]

He plays outside, very very outside. Over 70% of his disposals are uncontested so he clearly likes body contact about as much as Clementine Ford.

 

[CJApples87]

I always thought that was Jimmy Stynes

Stynes gave away the 15m penalty as it was in those days but not the original free kick.

 

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

I always thought that was Jimmy Stynes

No, he only gave away the 15m penalty. Ran over the mark to man up Dipper.

 

[Mofra]

Player #29 - Paul Puopolo


Pictured: Paul Puopolo proudly wears the 'brown chevron' which means something very different in the navy

Paul Puopolo is a Hawthorn player. At 31 years and 9 months of age, he's part of their new and emerging 'quality youth' like Ryan Burton and that other guy.

Poppy (as he is known) is a good story. He is from Hope Valley in the City of Tea Tree Gully which is not an Enid Blyton invention, but a somewhere in South Australia.
After plying his trade in the SANFL (the state league with 'National' inexplicably in the name) the Hawks picked him up in the draft as a mature-ager. He would play a lot of football for the Hawks. He played in three Grand Finals from 2013-2015 and unlike Nick Riewoldt, won three. He would rather we not mention 2012.

Overall he's been a fine contributor to a strong team for a long time. Then 2019 happened.
As the wheels started to come off the Hawk bandwagon and 'Clarko's cluster' gave way to 'Clarko's lustre (is wearing off)', Poppy started to show his age. He halved his goal tally to just 10 from 22 games. For those of you who are bad at maths, that's 0.45 goals per game making him the 14th best at Hawthorn. This from a specialist small forward. He was 3rd in 2017 and 5th best in 2018, so clearly the trend is downward, much like Hawthorn's finals hopes this year. Based on this trend, the Hawks should finish 22nd next year.

The main issue is leg-speed, the poor guy just looked slow for his 173cm height. Once a player who relies on speed starts to lose it, the decline can happen quickly.
It didn't get much better off field either, with Paul's cousin Dominic being arrested in the US:

Miami Beach PD arrested Dominic Puopolo Tuesday at a Subway restaurant. He had recorded and tweeted a video on Monday ... saying he intended to go to Washington D.C. on Friday and kill Trump. He said he was "following orders" and challenged the Secret Service to stop him.

Puopolo also referred to himself as Lord Jesus Christ.

^ Still less delusional than most posters on the Drafts, Trading and Free Agency Board.

Anyway Poppy good luck next year if the Hawks give you another contract to get you to 200 games. Welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2019.

 

[Dinsdale]

Poor Poppy, only 3 premierships

 

[76woodenspooners]

Poor Poppy, only 3 premierships

Must be really tough being a Hawthorn supporter ...

... having to keep track of which players have won 0,1,2,3 or 4 Premierships.

 

[Dinsdale]

Must be really tough being a Hawthorn supporter ...

... having to keep track of which players have won 0,1,2,3 or 4 Premierships.

true, its easy to keep track of that guy that won 7.

 

[76woodenspooners]

true, its easy to keep track of that guy that won 7.

True. And that Collingwood bloke who won 9.

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

Must be really tough being a Hawthorn supporter ...

... having to keep track of which players have won 0,1,2,3 or 4 Premierships.

Must be easy being Paddy Dangerfield then.

 

[hawkman]

Sadly well deserved entry for Puopolo. Amazing that he went through a period of 13 weeks kicking only 2 goals and still not get dropped