Mofra's Bottom 50 for 2021

[MAXIMUM GRUNDAGE]

Bloody Melbourne supporters !
Win one premiership and next thing you know they’re swinging off the rafters and shoving champagne bottles up their coight.

Its coming home!

 

[AlecDuncan]

Yeh bring on De Goey
All this “bottle in the bum hole” talk is getting weird.

Yes, bring back the monkey. I found some bananas.

 

[Sky]

#1 is Bombers 2003

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Yeh bring on De Goey
All this “bottle in the bum hole” talk is getting weird .

We should stop discussing unsubstantiated celebrity rumours...especially we should not go near the Jackie McDonald rumour.

 

[WillHayward]

We should stop discussing unsubstantiated celebrity rumours...especially we should not go near the Jackie McDonald rumour.

Ok
What is it?

 

[Dinsdale]

Heard this on the radio today and started singing "Put the tip up Jenny Keyte's bum"

Mate of mine is married to his sister, she's normal.

 

[SaintsSeptember]

Mate of mine is married to his sister, she's normal.

Its just wrong for him to marry his sister, just saying.

 

[Bernie L]

 

[Dinsdale]

Its just wrong for him to marry his sister, just saying.

let me refwaze that... a mate of mine is married to Johnny Diesels sister, she is normal.

 

[Mofra]

Player #1 - Tayla Harris

Pictured: Smile strong

Well done to those who guessed it - yes, Tayla "Taylah" Harris takes out the gong this year in the Bottom 50.
For those of you who are wondering whether an AFLW player is eligible, don't be so mysoigyniust, missog, misso,…. um, sexist. Yes, Tayla has played 20 games so is absolutely eligible.

Tayla Harris is a Queensland native and has shown a lot of athletic potential since her younger days.
At 177cm she has played KPF and ruck at AFLW level, and is also a middleweight boxer boasting a 7 win, 1 draw career (yes I purposely avoided the obvious crude joke here).
No, wikipedia don't list weights of female athletes, a courtesy that the McGovern brothers hope will extend to the men sometime soon.

Playing for both Brisbane and Carlton, Tayla is basically Brendan Fevola in reverse. She was named in the All-Australian team in 2017 & 2018, and was Carlton's leading goalkicker in 2018 & 2019. Carlton have had an AFLW team since 2017, and this is their fifth season which marks the first time in Carlton history that they have stuck to a five year plan.

After a down year in 2020, Tayla entered the 2021 season as one of the competition's marquee players - behind Daisy Pearce who withdrew due to a forehead injury, and Erin Phillips who accidentally drank some Adelaide tap water and had to be managed through the season. Her star was rising, Colgate signed her up on an endorsement deal (none of the Collingwood players were deemed suitable) and AFLW was gathering steam as a competition.

Harris basically spent the 2021 season performing an Engadine Maccas tribute, kicking 4 goals from 9 games as she progressively went from marquee star to large tent owner to borrowing a beach shelter that was on special from Aldi.
Down in every statistical category, her reputation vs output was so inflated that the ACT Government offered her an Arts grant:

Pictured: "I was inspired by Gary Rohan

23

Gary Rohan

Age

33

Ht

189cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

9.6

2star

K

6.6

3star

HB

3.0

3star

M

3.3

3star

T

2.5

4star

G

1.0

4star

D

8.8

2star

K

6.0

2star

HB

2.8

2star

M

3.4

3star

T

2.3

3star

G

1.0

4star

D

9.8

3star

K

6.8

3star

HB

3.0

3star

M

2.2

3star

T

4.2

5star

G

1.2

4star

's finals performances"

This may have been, in part, to a decision to skip training...

But six weeks ago, she may have skewed her priorities marginally too far away from football. Man on the Mark understands Harris walked off the training track at 7.55pm, surprising teammates who didn’t know why she’d vanished without explanation.

It turns out she left unannounced to post a picture to Instagram at 8pm on the dot, promoting the upcoming Amazon documentary Kick Like Tayla.

All of this would be normally be enough to get yourself on the Bottom 50 list...


Tayla then backed up a sub-par, mediocre year with a salary demand so divorced from reality that I'm pretty sure I saw it dancing at the last music festival I attended.


After failing to make the top 15 in Carlton's B&F count, Tayla asked for a pay increase from around $80,000 to $150,000.
For a three month season.
In the middle of a pandemic.
After skipping training to post pics on Insagram without explaining why to her teammates.
I remind everyone at this point that every AFLW club gets to pay two tier 1 players $36k, with everyone else earning substantially less.

In the end even Carlton's accountants couldn't make such a contract demand work and Tayla was put 'on the market' to the highest sucker bidder.
Melbourne, ensuring their 2021 wasn't perfect, signed her up.

Fun fact: Tayla has a life-size bronze statue of her in Fed square which is the worst thing to happen to casting since Harvey Weinstein. She also has three dogs who have better names than most AFL players and their kids (Nathan Jones, what were you thinking?)
Elephant in the room: Harris' profile was raised when Channel 7 put a photo of her online that was trolled by some of their subscribers, proving again that people who comment on news sites online are horrible human beings. Like player agents, anti-vaxxers, or anyone who bought 'Stand by Hird' merchandise.

Tayla, goodluck next year. If you really want to go loopy, make sure to change your surname to 'Lake'.
Congratulations again on further building your profile by taking out top spot in the 2021 Bottom 50. We salute you.

 

[Marklar_33]

Mate of mine is married to his sister, she's normal.

For your mates sake, I’m sorry to hear that

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

Last little shot at Brian Harris/Lake was a chef's kiss on top of the perfect cupcake.

 

[76woodenspooners]

fu** me - we can't even win THIS????

You spoke too soon.

Congratulations

 

[Sellout Scully]

She also has three dogs who have better names than most AFL players and their kids (Nathan Jones, what were you thinking?)

Get ready for 18 years of hyping up Odie Reign Jones as a future Father/Son selection...

 

[AlecDuncan]

Well done Mof on another stellar effort.

 

[Crabapplepittard]

Get ready for 18 years of hyping up Odie Reign Jones as a future Father/Son selection...

I thought odie was a girl.

 

[Dinsdale]

Tayla, goodluck next year. If you really want to go loopy, make sure to change your surname to 'Lake'.

sure way to win a normie...

 

[Dr Tigris]

Where is De Goey???

Seriously Mofra this is a serious miss for 2021. Although excellent effort all round.

 

[3rd Grade Maggy]

You spoke too soon.

Congratulations

There's a joke in here about MarC being beaten by a girl but I can't be bothered trying to figure it out.

 

[LightTower4]

Player #1 - Tayla Harris
View attachment 1295064
Pictured: Smile strong

Well done to those who guessed it - yes, Tayla "Taylah" Harris takes out the gong this year in the Bottom 50.
For those of you who are wondering whether an AFLW player is eligible, don't be so mysoigyniust, missog, misso,…. um, sexist. Yes, Tayla has played 20 games so is absolutely eligible.

Tayla Harris is a Queensland native and has shown a lot of athletic potential since her younger days.
At 177cm she has played KPF and ruck at AFLW level, and is also a middleweight boxer boasting a 7 win, 1 draw career (yes I purposely avoided the obvious crude joke here).
No, wikipedia don't list weights of female athletes, a courtesy that the McGovern brothers hope will extend to the men sometime soon.

Playing for both Brisbane and Carlton, Tayla is basically Brendan Fevola in reverse. She was named in the All-Australian team in 2017 & 2018, and was Carlton's leading goalkicker in 2018 & 2019. Carlton have had an AFLW team since 2017, and this is their fifth season which marks the first time in Carlton history that they have stuck to a five year plan.

After a down year in 2020, Tayla entered the 2021 season as one of the competition's marquee players - behind Daisy Pearce who withdrew due to a forehead injury, and Erin Phillips who accidentally drank some Adelaide tap water and had to be managed through the season. Her star was rising, Colgate signed her up on an endorsement deal (none of the Collingwood players were deemed suitable) and AFLW was gathering steam as a competition.

Harris basically spent the 2021 season performing an Engadine Maccas tribute, kicking 4 goals from 9 games as she progressively went from marquee star to large tent owner to borrowing a beach shelter that was on special from Aldi.
Down in every statistical category, her reputation vs output was so inflated that the ACT Government offered her an Arts grant:
View attachment 1295075
Pictured: "I was inspired by Gary Rohan's finals performances"

This may have been, in part, to a decision to skip training...



All of this would be normally be enough to get yourself on the Bottom 50 list...
View attachment 1295078

Tayla then backed up a sub-par, mediocre year with a salary demand so divorced from reality that I'm pretty sure I saw it dancing at the last music festival I attended.


After failing to make the top 15 in Carlton's B&F count, Tayla asked for a pay increase from around $80,000 to $150,000.
For a three month season.
In the middle of a pandemic.
After skipping training to post pics on Insagram without explaining why to her teammates.
I remind everyone at this point that every AFLW club gets to pay two tier 1 players $36k, with everyone else earning substantially less.

In the end even Carlton's accountants couldn't make such a contract demand work and Tayla was put 'on the market' to the highest sucker bidder.
Melbourne, ensuring their 2021 wasn't perfect, signed her up.

Fun fact: Tayla has a life-size bronze statue of her in Fed square which is the worst thing to happen to casting since Harvey Weinstein. She also has three dogs who have better names than most AFL players and their kids (Nathan Jones, what were you thinking?)
Elephant in the room: Harris' profile was raised when Channel 7 put a photo of her online that was trolled by some of their subscribers, proving again that people who comment on news sites online are horrible human beings. Like player agents, anti-vaxxers, or anyone who bought 'Stand by Hird' merchandise.

Tayla, goodluck next year. If you really want to go loopy, make sure to change your surname to 'Lake'.
Congratulations again on further building your profile by taking out top spot in the 2021 Bottom 50. We salute you.

 

[LightTower4]

Player leaves Freo for St Kilda.

You know he’s for “Show me the money”, not premierships.

 

[Teen Wolf]

After a down year in 2020, Tayla entered the 2021 season as one of the competition's marquee players

Made the All-Australian team for the third time in 2020.

If you just went with the similarly remunerated Kellie Gibson, there'd be no need for such brazen fabrication! But to know who Kellie Gibson is, I suppose you'd have to start following the league (which I can't recommend highly enough).

 

[weltschmerz]

JJ, Mitch Hannan, and Zaine Cordy

21

Zaine Cordy

Age

28

Ht

195cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

D/F

Career

Season

Last 5

D

10.6

3star

K

6.6

3star

HB

4.0

3star

M

3.5

4star

T

2.1

4star

MG

180.4

3star

D

8.1

2star

K

6.4

3star

HB

1.7

1star

M

2.9

3star

T

1.9

3star

MG

180.4

3star

D

6.8

2star

K

3.8

2star

HB

3.0

3star

M

2.4

3star

T

1.8

4star

all surprised to have not featured.

 

[TedDougChris]

I thought odie was a girl.

 

[Mofra]

I thought odie was a girl.

I just hope it's pronounced 'Odie' like the Garfield comic and not 'O.D.' like growing up in Footscray