Event S30 Rookie “Torch of the Year” Award [Rising Star]

[GWS Goose]

Where did Bastyy finish last season?

He didn't Jag a nomination in the Rising star or a vote in the EKA it's a low bar you can probably emulate

 

[GremioPower]

He didn't Jag a nomination in the Rising star or a vote in the EKA it's a low bar you can probably emulate

Bastyy did ok, mate. He tied with me in the EKA and finished one position behind me in the RS.

 

[Bastyy]

He didn't Jag a nomination in the Rising star or a vote in the EKA it's a low bar you can probably emulate

It's a talent

 

[GremioPower]

"WHY SHOULD THIS ROOKIE BE THE TORCH?!"
​

Each week, Committee members must justify their choices of match thread winners. This not only helps us choosing who wins the Torch, but it also works as reference for all the rookies on what it is expected from them in the match threads.

This is what it was said about each one of the nominees this round:


Elmer_Judd

Spoiler: Elmer_Judd (WON)

Spoiler: Technical Difficulties

serial_thrilla graded the match, but didn't justify the winner. Nobody has come to help him yet.

MITS

Spoiler: MITS (BOM)

MITS was strong this week. Hitting what the Dragons like to refer as, 'The Scoreboard', 170 times. He took philreich by the hand and both of them supplied the thread with more than enough puns for the week ...

MITS said:


View attachment 953257

He was more than happy to offer advice to the Swampies on their new line of work ...

MITS said:


Stick with it mate. You’ll get the hang of it eventually. Just remember to stick the red side of your sign to the cars when you want them to stop. Same as a traffic light.

And blew the minds of the thread with his stunning insights into a world we never knew ...

MITS said:


Did you know that magpie beaks, if looked at from the front, have seagull heads on them
View attachment 953173

Before showing off his softer side on Sunday ...

MITS said:


Happy toblerone, boxer shorts and sock day to all the men out there who’s partners baked them a cream pie that now calls them dad.

MITS is a man that knows his way to a woman's heart ...

MITS said:


View attachment 954339

Isn't through her mouth. It's through somewhere else ...

MITS said:


I never had till not long ago. Was watching a step mother and daughter go the pizza boy type episode. And yep, was my mother, sister and brother. fu**in heartbreaking. What the fu** do I have to do to get a gig. Blood is thicker than water my arse

Well done on a ripper week MITS.

Muddiemoose

Spoiler: Muddiemoose (LVB)

Welcome to "Moose's Mind"​

We all know him as the largest of all the deer. But what goes on in the mind of this Torch nom? Let's analyse the evidence:

1) The judges are corrupt:

I just think it’s interesting that most of the rookies who have won awards have been from clubs with committee members. You guys are branch stacking worse than the major parties in vic politics.

2) Lazy jokes when referring to The Jesus:

Your gonna nail him

3) Going too far with the opposition rookie PMBangers :

Muddiemoose tony you're officially uninvited from my birthday party, we were going to do the 2x laser tag games and 1 x bowling game at AMF as well!

4) Updates on the Bachelor and food opinions:

Also Kit Kat chunky isn’t a Kit Kat.

That’s like saying a Vanilla Coke is a Coke
It is it’s own separate product so all your arguments are void

5) and of course, what we all know him for:

Are we ever not talking about penises?

Congratulations to this elk on this Torch nom, it's been an eventful week with the Tittybong Brawl happening just outside Moose's Kebabs. We look forward to another edition of "Moose's Mind" soon.

T2B_

Spoiler: T2B_ (DRA)

With yet another nomination is Dragons avocado-loving rookie, T2B_, who clocked in exactly 100 match thread posts in the Demons vs. Dragons encounter.

T2B_ has picked up on the more intricate aspects of Sweet already, with enough interactions with Headless and Knifey Spoony to appreciate the interchange bench:
Yep the Super Sub contest looks to be enthralling.
It's one of the aspects of this comp I've come to really appreciate, which is probably also unique to SFA.

And to ask the perpetual question that everyone in the SFA asks:
Who is Tarkyn_24 ?

He sat down with skipper AceAndy to discuss an element of contention within the Dragons (although he may want to work on his attempts to keep his sources anonymous):
I hate to tell you this cap, and you might wanna sit down for this but....
Some people, a few at least, don't think much about that Rebecca Black song you post.
I'm no snitch so let's just say the biggest one is an s. thrilla.
No wait, that's way, way too obvious. Let's call them serial. t

Later on there was a moment of clarity for the rest of us when his observation regarding a couple of opponents was strangely apt:
Little rookie confession... until we went up against the Roys, I thought the Roys and the Bears were one and the same!

Before returning to another perpetual question:
How is Tarkyn_24 ?

And then realisation hit like a roaring steam train:
For a moment I read that as Thomas The Tark Engine and now I know Tarkyn_24 has moved in to my head like some squatting bum.

The end result?
Farks

Keep up the good work, T2B_. But eventually like the rest of of us you'll learn to just embrace the entity that is known in the SFA as Tarkyn_24. or just ignore him. Whatever works for you.

omgfridge

Spoiler: omgfridge (GUM)

OMG was very active this week and was entertaining throughout. Comfortably his best work yet.

OMG self depricating humour is well supported by both his and his clubs poor form. Let's face it, they both suck at Qootball but are good fun in threads.

Everyone's favourite fridge shared some philosophical thoughts on getting older.

"Always been a milf man but also I'm getting older and its harder to relate to being the best friend friend banging the mom. Like I wonder do i turn 30 next year and all of a sudden I'm into pr0n about smashing your sons girlfriend. Like when does that switch happen?"

He also shared some insights into his family, lucky for him, unlike Guerro's brother (Dr Smarty pants, what a dreamboat), the fridge's brother is taking the pressure off his own poor life choices by making worse ones.
"Brings back fond memories of my brothers girlfriend who he was punching well above for breaking up with him. 2 weeks later my brother was engaged to a Mexican lady he met online. Grand times. Curveball, it didn't work out!"

We're not sure if this is a cry for help or just the fridge's uncanny self awareness on show again.

What I've found being from WA is it gets pretty lonely in these match threads right about now. Just like my existence I guess. Would be quality banter time otherwise. Guess thats why I beep when my door gets left open. Hello?

The fridge is nothing if not consistent,
As usual I've been a missing person this weekend. Very dusty fridge today. But least nothings changed we're still garbage. Thanks Mister M for spending half the game on the bench, only way for me to barely scrape a match up win. Very enjoyable week though Furies, probably my favourite so far...

BLUEALLTHRU

Spoiler: BLUEALLTHRU (ROY)

In a season where a couple of clubs have invested heavily in gangs of rookies, the one that's flying under the radar a bit is the Roys' group. Supersuns has been leading the way so far, RobR has also been active, but the candidate from their win over the Warriors is BLUEALLTHRU - The Barman of BJO.

He was quick to state his purpose:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Hi Warriors I am the barman at the BJO and due to my Qooty being completely shithouse @Mobbs will only allow me to serve pots until my DT improves. He hopes this will give me the kick in the arse I need but fu** him I'll just have to drink quicker.

And kept to his task throughout the week:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


You failed to notice that this is a directive from @Mobbs ! I'm gonna drink so many more pots than you on Sunday, you will feel like your surrounded.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Serving Roast Pork, salad, coriander and hot chilli Rolls tomorrow with crackle. Come in for a beer and a roll after the big dance.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


The Rolls are ready and so is the beer. Let's dig in! To the Wazza's great week and so close, poor kicking is poor football ask Harry McKay! To the Roys well done and on to next week, lets go and get smashed. @TedDougChris brilliant move getting me off I was gassed and at least I didn't over cook the Pork. Cheers all!

I forgot to say thanks @philreich and I love the sim...It's fair!!!!!!

He's motivated:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Come on Roys kick on! @TedDougChris crashed in the toilet, @Mobbs is doing an audit? fu** knows why??? There's only me @Dingster and @Mooch left. Can't for the life of me get @Mooch to give up signing autographs and get on the Jacks Chudshakes.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Look at your mum go Ding she's great value and always helps me wash up the glasses Can handle her piss too!

He's generous:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


That's ok I am no good at Qooty but would be happy to shout you a pot.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


I always shout the 1st round at our home games, it's just a nice gesture of good will and yes you will be provided a jug and an empty pot. If you lose you will buy all remaining drinks. If you win(unlikely)I shall shout..Ok

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Nice to meet you @ClarkeM join me at the BJO for an ale sometime.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Are you joining us for a beer Bob? My buy!

He has a colourful family history:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


True story. I grew up in Edithvale and back then probably around 45-50 years ago my brothers would get a pizza, slab of beer, cigarettes and marijuana delivered from the local pizza shop

Can fling sh*t well:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


I just feel sad for all the other residents.Trapped with an angry,incoherent imbecile.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Get a dog, go on walks and ffs stop spamming up this great game day thread.

Knows the tropes, but doesn't overuse them:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Are all Warriors threads this pace? I will get so much done at home.

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Finally some more Phonies show up. hi

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Some of my lads are lazy this is why I mentioned they might be a good pickup for you tif. Just trying to help what I perceive to be a struggling franchise.

His word play is ingenious enginious:

BLUEALLTHRU said:


Points for enginuity.

It was a good innings from the rookie Roy. Will it be enough to sway the Committee?

 

[GWS Goose]

"WHY SHOULD THIS ROOKIE BE THE TORCH?!"
​

Each week, Committee members must justify their choices of match thread winners. This not only helps us choosing who wins the Torch, but it also works as reference for all the rookies on what it is expected from them in the match threads.

This is what it was said about each one of the nominees this round:


Elmer_Judd

Spoiler: Elmer_Judd (WON)

Spoiler: Technical Difficulties

serial_thrilla graded the match, but didn't justify the winner. Nobody has come to help him yet.

MITS

Spoiler: MITS (BOM)

MITS was strong this week. Hitting what the Dragons like to refer as, 'The Scoreboard', 170 times. He took philreich by the hand and both of them supplied the thread with more than enough puns for the week ...


He was more than happy to offer advice to the Swampies on their new line of work ...


And blew the minds of the thread with his stunning insights into a world we never knew ...


Before showing off his softer side on Sunday ...


MITS is a man that knows his way to a woman's heart ...


Isn't through her mouth. It's through somewhere else ...


Well done on a ripper week MITS.

Muddiemoose

Spoiler: Muddiemoose (LVB)

View attachment 958193

Welcome to "Moose's Mind"​

We all know him as the largest of all the deer. But what goes on in the mind of this Torch nom? Let's analyse the evidence:

1) The judges are corrupt:

I just think it’s interesting that most of the rookies who have won awards have been from clubs with committee members. You guys are branch stacking worse than the major parties in vic politics.

2) Lazy jokes when referring to The Jesus:

Your gonna nail him

3) Going too far with the opposition rookie PMBangers :

Muddiemoose tony you're officially uninvited from my birthday party, we were going to do the 2x laser tag games and 1 x bowling game at AMF as well!

4) Updates on the Bachelor and food opinions:

Also Kit Kat chunky isn’t a Kit Kat.

That’s like saying a Vanilla Coke is a Coke
It is it’s own separate product so all your arguments are void

5) and of course, what we all know him for:

Are we ever not talking about penises?

Congratulations to this elk on this Torch nom, it's been an eventful week with the Tittybong Brawl happening just outside Moose's Kebabs. We look forward to another edition of "Moose's Mind" soon.

T2B_

Spoiler: T2B_ (DRA)

With yet another nomination is Dragons avocado-loving rookie, T2B_, who clocked in exactly 100 match thread posts in the Demons vs. Dragons encounter.

T2B_ has picked up on the more intricate aspects of Sweet already, with enough interactions with Headless and Knifey Spoony to appreciate the interchange bench:
Yep the Super Sub contest looks to be enthralling.
It's one of the aspects of this comp I've come to really appreciate, which is probably also unique to SFA.

And to ask the perpetual question that everyone in the SFA asks:
Who is Tarkyn_24 ?

He sat down with skipper AceAndy to discuss an element of contention within the Dragons (although he may want to work on his attempts to keep his sources anonymous):
I hate to tell you this cap, and you might wanna sit down for this but....
Some people, a few at least, don't think much about that Rebecca Black song you post.
I'm no snitch so let's just say the biggest one is an s. thrilla.
No wait, that's way, way too obvious. Let's call them serial. t

Later on there was a moment of clarity for the rest of us when his observation regarding a couple of opponents was strangely apt:
Little rookie confession... until we went up against the Roys, I thought the Roys and the Bears were one and the same!

Before returning to another perpetual question:
How is Tarkyn_24 ?

And then realisation hit like a roaring steam train:
For a moment I read that as Thomas The Tark Engine and now I know Tarkyn_24 has moved in to my head like some squatting bum.

The end result?
Farks

Keep up the good work, T2B_. But eventually like the rest of of us you'll learn to just embrace the entity that is known in the SFA as Tarkyn_24. or just ignore him. Whatever works for you.

omgfridge

Spoiler: omgfridge (GUM)

OMG was very active this week and was entertaining throughout. Comfortably his best work yet.

OMG self depricating humour is well supported by both his and his clubs poor form. Let's face it, they both suck at Qootball but are good fun in threads.

Everyone's favourite fridge shared some philosophical thoughts on getting older.

"Always been a milf man but also I'm getting older and its harder to relate to being the best friend friend banging the mom. Like I wonder do i turn 30 next year and all of a sudden I'm into pr0n about smashing your sons girlfriend. Like when does that switch happen?"

He also shared some insights into his family, lucky for him, unlike Guerro's brother (Dr Smarty pants, what a dreamboat), the fridge's brother is taking the pressure off his own poor life choices by making worse ones.
"Brings back fond memories of my brothers girlfriend who he was punching well above for breaking up with him. 2 weeks later my brother was engaged to a Mexican lady he met online. Grand times. Curveball, it didn't work out!"

We're not sure if this is a cry for help or just the fridge's uncanny self awareness on show again.

What I've found being from WA is it gets pretty lonely in these match threads right about now. Just like my existence I guess. Would be quality banter time otherwise. Guess thats why I beep when my door gets left open. Hello?

The fridge is nothing if not consistent,
As usual I've been a missing person this weekend. Very dusty fridge today. But least nothings changed we're still garbage. Thanks Mister M for spending half the game on the bench, only way for me to barely scrape a match up win. Very enjoyable week though Furies, probably my favourite so far...

BLUEALLTHRU

Spoiler: BLUEALLTHRU (ROY)

In a season where a couple of clubs have invested heavily in gangs of rookies, the one that's flying under the radar a bit is the Roys' group. Supersuns has been leading the way so far, RobR has also been active, but the candidate from their win over the Warriors is BLUEALLTHRU - The Barman of BJO.

He was quick to state his purpose:


And kept to his task throughout the week:




He's motivated:



He's generous:





He has a colourful family history:


Can fling sh*t well:



Knows the tropes, but doesn't overuse them:




His word play is ingenious enginious:


It was a good innings from the rookie Roy. Will it be enough to sway the Committee?

If my man omgfridge doesn't win this week, the whole committee should be hauled in front of some sort of something, you know what I mean, he has to win!

 

[GremioPower]

If my man omgfridge doesn't win this week, the whole committee should be hauled in front of some sort of something, you know what I mean, he has to win!

Closest race since R1. We are waiting for other members to vote. Too close to call!

 

[serial_thrilla]

Unfortunately it has been decided to award no Torch winner this week due to nobody reaching the minimum standard required. Please try again next week.​

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Good call.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Haha, had you fooled there for a minute. Of course we were gonna have a nominee this week *starts sweating nervously*



The Committee had another week of rookie postings to go through, and found that a few kids did better than the rest. Apparently Wunderkind Elmer_Judd was one of them but has since found himself in trouble - not only with the authorities but with the Committee's priorities. Good try though. Speaking of trouble with the authorities, young Bomber MITS is no stranger to Banhammer so it was good to see him out and about this week. Muddiemoose was the pick of the Bear cubs this time around, thanks to a combination of laser tag, conspiracy theroies, food choices, religious puns and dick jokes. Dragon kid T2B_ was another to rise above an active group to come under consideration as he continues his SFA eduqation, I'm sure that Thomas the Tarkyn_24 Engine would agree. Gumbette omgfridge keeps knocking on the door with his unique whitegoods-based takes, and apprentice barman at the Roys BLUEALLTHRU had an engenious week. I for one am getting dinner this weekend from Edithvale Pizza!

So despite the wailing and gnashing of teeth from my fellow Committee members we had enough material to pluck a nominee from the relative obscurity of SFA rookiedom, so without any further ado please join me in congratulating MITS as this week's nominee!



I sat down with MITS and newly-appointed Bombers captain Antonio BlueVein to discuss the nomination. First up was the Babylonian captain:

Bob: Morning Tony. Well done to you & the team on... well, being yourselves. It's been a an up and down season both on and off the field, but as a posting unit you're right on brand. To top it off, you have a decent batch of rookies brewing. How does it feel to have one of them nominated for the Torch of the Week?

ABV: That’s a great looking question, Bob, and thanks for accomodating me. As a posting unit, we tend to just go with the flow, we are happy if the opposition are not.

The S30 rookie intake at the Bombers is shaping up to be one of the best in recent history. A couple of them have not come on as expected, but that is part and parcel of the recruiting game. Bearing in mind the current state of affairs being unprecedented, and it’s obviously affected some posters interactions this year.

How does it feel to have MITS nominated? Well, Bob, like I told you I feel like a proud father, given he is my son, I think

Bob: A late Father's Day gift you could say! It's also been a big season for you personally. How are things going for you now that you've been thrown the keys to Abdu Prison?

ABV: It’s a privilege and an honour to lead these men into battle every week, I love them like they’re my brothers. Some of them might even be, as we are a pretty raucous bunch in Baghdad. We are pretty lucky at the Bombers, given the fact we have so many great leaders at our disposal makes my job much easier.

Bob: Congrats on getting MITS to the Bombers. Where did you find him, and how are they settling in?

ABV: I met his mum at a Kittens car wash on the corner of Warrigal and North road. 9 months later, I had a little baby in my MITS.

Bob: I've driven past that place many times. I'll honk and wave next time. What has his posting style been like?

ABV: Uncompromising. MITS has a take no prisoners posting style, a real combatant, and I really enjoy his content. The quintessential Bomber.
He’s also quite funny and good looking, I believe he gets that from his father.

Bob: Do you have any strategies on keeping young MITS out of Banhammer? Or is having him locked up the strategy?

ABV: Honestly, as long as he keeps having fun I am happy. He’ll find the happy medium and I’m certain he will be a valuable contributor for many seasons to come. He’s also a magnificent exponent of the multi-quote, a skill which I feel will take him far in the league, and I believe he has future captain written all over him.

Bob: Big call Tony! Are you worried for the safety of any stray cats in Baghdad?

ABV: We managed to sneak Riviat out the back door and into the safety of Barrybran ’s plasticine arms before MITS could choke him out with an inordinate amount of cling wrap.

Bob: MITS is the fourth Babylonian rookie to receive either a Torch or a Gun nomination. How are they progressing, are there any other young’uns that you've brought to the club, and are there any rookies from other teams that you wish you had gotten your hands on whose posting you enjoy?

ABV: The 4th?! fu**. I had no idea. Looks like we’ve been recruiting well.

Honestly, the 3 Roys rookies have been magnificent this week, and I’m a big fan of the Bears rookies as well.

Both clubs seem to be tracking well for the future.

But yes, I’m mightily impressed with kickthething , SammaGilberto and much like MITS, Kilroy is most certainly going to lead this great club one day.

Our other rookies are big blokes, and as you all know, big bastards take longer to hit their peak

As I was about to turn to MITS, he and his captain were busy in conversation with each other:

ABV: I really feel like a proud dad today, love you, son.

MITS: fu** off. You’re not my real dad.

ABV: Did your mother tell you to say that?! This was because of the hamster thing wasn’t it? fu**. My bad. Sorry, son.

MITS: It was my pet. Not something for you and your mates to use as a pleasure toy. Still not forgiven. Get f’ed.

ABV: Mates?! It was your mother’s idea ffs!!

Bob: [to cameraman] Are- are we still rolling? We are? Beautiful!

[turns to MITS] Hello MITS. Congratulations on receiving a Torch of the Week nomination. You've certainly made an impression over the past six weeks. What path did you take to get to the SFA, and where did you first hear about it?

MITS: It was just a stock standard Tuesday. In VD clinic awaiting my results from a big weekend, I had a crook guts so went to dump a load in the public dunnies. I was sitting there pissing out my arse, reading the walls, when I saw a new “for a good time call” number. I thought I haven’t tried that one, so I gave it a ring and some pimp answered. We couldn’t agree on a price. He told me to get f’ed. I told him to get f’ed and we hung up. The next day, my phone rang and it was that same campaigner again. Said his name was blue vein and I could have a go of his sister if I joined the Bombers in SFA, and now here we are.

Bob: What are your first impressions of the place? Are Antonio BlueVein & the Bombers looking after you?

MITS: They’re nothing but a bunch of campaigners, but we seem to get along well.

Bob: Nice one. What's the story behind the avatar influence?

MITS: It’s a classic bit of Aussie cinematography, that and we both fu** mums for fun.

Bob: Is it true that you wrapped WaynesWorld19 in plastic and told him to be still?

MITS: It’s be still you little campaigner. Get it right.

Bob: Wow, righto! How do you prepare for a match thread?

MITS: Same as everyone else at the Bombers. A bit of stress relief with one of blue veins' ladies.

Bob: What's the deal with you being sent to Banhammer so much? Are you really an awful poster or are you misunderstood?

MITS: My mouthpiece said not to comment on this but fu** it. I think basically the mods are just a bunch of campaigners.

Bob: What would you like to achieve off field during your SFA career? Have you ventured into the world of media yet?

MITS: Nope.

Bob: k. Have there been any other teams that have stood out for you in the match threads or posters that you like the look of?

MITS: Most of them stand out as pretty second rate to the Bombers.

Bob: Fair enough mate. Have you clashed with teams, or have found a nemesis yet?

MITS: Not yet but give it time. Part of the territory being a Bomber.



Looks like you've settled into life at Baghdad well. Congrats again MITS, here's your miniature novelty trophy. Just don't smuggle it into Banhammer next time you're in.

Thanks for reading everyone, stick around to see what nonsense we come up with next week.

 

[GWS Goose]

View attachment 958544
Haha, had you fooled there for a minute. Of course we were gonna have a nominee this week *starts sweating nervously*

View attachment 958550

The Committee had another week of rookie postings to go through, and found that a few kids did better than the rest. Apparently Wunderkind Elmer_Judd was one of them but has since found himself in trouble - not only with the authorities but with the Committee's priorities. Good try though. Speaking of trouble with the authorities, young Bomber MITS is no stranger to Banhammer so it was good to see him out and about this week. Muddiemoose was the pick of the Bear cubs this time around, thanks to a combination of laser tag, conspiracy theroies, food choices, religious puns and dick jokes. Dragon kid T2B_ was another to rise above an active group to come under consideration as he continues his SFA eduqation, I'm sure that Thomas the Tarkyn_24 Engine would agree. Gumbette omgfridge keeps knocking on the door with his unique whitegoods-based takes, and apprentice barman at the Roys BLUEALLTHRU had an engenious week. I for one am getting dinner this weekend from Edithvale Pizza!

So despite the wailing and gnashing of teeth from my fellow Committee members we had enough material to pluck a nominee from the relative obscurity of SFA rookiedom, so without any further ado please join me in congratulating MITS as this week's nominee!

View attachment 958586

I sat down with MITS and newly-appointed Bombers captain Antonio BlueVein to discuss the nomination. First up was the Babylonian captain:

Bob: Morning Tony. Well done to you & the team on... well, being yourselves. It's been a an up and down season both on and off the field, but as a posting unit you're right on brand. To top it off, you have a decent batch of rookies brewing. How does it feel to have one of them nominated for the Torch of the Week?

ABV: That’s a great looking question, Bob, and thanks for accomodating me. As a posting unit, we tend to just go with the flow, we are happy if the opposition are not.

The S30 rookie intake at the Bombers is shaping up to be one of the best in recent history. A couple of them have not come on as expected, but that is part and parcel of the recruiting game. Bearing in mind the current state of affairs being unprecedented, and it’s obviously affected some posters interactions this year.

How does it feel to have MITS nominated? Well, Bob, like I told you I feel like a proud father, given he is my son, I think

Bob: A late Father's Day gift you could say! It's also been a big season for you personally. How are things going for you now that you've been thrown the keys to Abdu Prison?

ABV: It’s a privilege and an honour to lead these men into battle every week, I love them like they’re my brothers. Some of them might even be, as we are a pretty raucous bunch in Baghdad. We are pretty lucky at the Bombers, given the fact we have so many great leaders at our disposal makes my job much easier.

Bob: Congrats on getting MITS to the Bombers. Where did you find him, and how are they settling in?

ABV: I met his mum at a Kittens car wash on the corner of Warrigal and North road. 9 months later, I had a little baby in my MITS.

Bob: I've driven past that place many times. I'll honk and wave next time. What has his posting style been like?

ABV: Uncompromising. MITS has a take no prisoners posting style, a real combatant, and I really enjoy his content. The quintessential Bomber.
He’s also quite funny and good looking, I believe he gets that from his father.

Bob: Do you have any strategies on keeping young MITS out of Banhammer? Or is having him locked up the strategy?

ABV: Honestly, as long as he keeps having fun I am happy. He’ll find the happy medium and I’m certain he will be a valuable contributor for many seasons to come. He’s also a magnificent exponent of the multi-quote, a skill which I feel will take him far in the league, and I believe he has future captain written all over him.

Bob: Big call Tony! Are you worried for the safety of any stray cats in Baghdad?

ABV: We managed to sneak Riviat out the back door and into the safety of Barrybran ’s plasticine arms before MITS could choke him out with an inordinate amount of cling wrap.

Bob: MITS is the fourth Babylonian rookie to receive either a Torch or a Gun nomination. How are they progressing, are there any other young’uns that you've brought to the club, and are there any rookies from other teams that you wish you had gotten your hands on whose posting you enjoy?

ABV: The 4th?! fu**. I had no idea. Looks like we’ve been recruiting well.

Honestly, the 3 Roys rookies have been magnificent this week, and I’m a big fan of the Bears rookies as well.

Both clubs seem to be tracking well for the future.

But yes, I’m mightily impressed with kickthething , SammaGilberto and much like MITS, Kilroy is most certainly going to lead this great club one day.

Our other rookies are big blokes, and as you all know, big bastards take longer to hit their peak

As I was about to turn to MITS, he and his captain were busy in conversation with each other:

ABV: I really feel like a proud dad today, love you, son.

MITS: fu** off. You’re not my real dad.

ABV: Did your mother tell you to say that?! This was because of the hamster thing wasn’t it? fu**. My bad. Sorry, son.

MITS: It was my pet. Not something for you and your mates to use as a pleasure toy. Still not forgiven. Get f’ed.

ABV: Mates?! It was your mother’s idea ffs!!

Bob: [to cameraman] Are- are we still rolling? We are? Beautiful!

[turns to MITS] Hello MITS. Congratulations on receiving a Torch of the Week nomination. You've certainly made an impression over the past six weeks. What path did you take to get to the SFA, and where did you first hear about it?

MITS: It was just a stock standard Tuesday. In VD clinic awaiting my results from a big weekend, I had a crook guts so went to dump a load in the public dunnies. I was sitting there pissing out my arse, reading the walls, when I saw a new “for a good time call” number. I thought I haven’t tried that one, so I gave it a ring and some pimp answered. We couldn’t agree on a price. He told me to get f’ed. I told him to get f’ed and we hung up. The next day, my phone rang and it was that same campaigner again. Said his name was blue vein and I could have a go of his sister if I joined the Bombers in SFA, and now here we are.

Bob: What are your first impressions of the place? Are Antonio BlueVein & the Bombers looking after you?

MITS: They’re nothing but a bunch of campaigners, but we seem to get along well.

Bob: Nice one. What's the story behind the avatar influence?

MITS: It’s a classic bit of Aussie cinematography, that and we both fu** mums for fun.

Bob: Is it true that you wrapped WaynesWorld19 in plastic and told him to be still?

MITS: It’s be still you little campaigner. Get it right.

Bob: Wow, righto! How do you prepare for a match thread?

MITS: Same as everyone else at the Bombers. A bit of stress relief with one of blue veins' ladies.

Bob: What's the deal with you being sent to Banhammer so much? Are you really an awful poster or are you misunderstood?

MITS: My mouthpiece said not to comment on this but fu** it. I think basically the mods are just a bunch of campaigners.

Bob: What would you like to achieve off field during your SFA career? Have you ventured into the world of media yet?

MITS: Nope.

Bob: k. Have there been any other teams that have stood out for you in the match threads or posters that you like the look of?

MITS: Most of them stand out as pretty second rate to the Bombers.

Bob: Fair enough mate. Have you clashed with teams, or have found a nemesis yet?

MITS: Not yet but give it time. Part of the territory being a Bomber.

View attachment 958604

Looks like you've settled into life at Baghdad well. Congrats again MITS, here's your miniature novelty trophy. Just don't smuggle it into Banhammer next time you're in.

Thanks for reading everyone, stick around to see what nonsense we come up with next week.

View attachment 958605

Hey!
I only changed my vote that we had a worthy winner because I thought we were giving it to omgfridge !

I've been deceived, is it too late to change my vote back to serial_thrilla side and go with no worthy winner?

 

[Tonga Bob]

Hey!
I only changed my vote that we had a worthy winner because I thought we were giving it to omgfridge !

I've been deceived, is it too late to change my vote back to serial_thrilla side and go with no worthy winner?

No.

No it is not.

 

[GWS Goose]

No.

No it is not.

I vote no winner, that makes it 4-3, rescind his nomination.

 

[Tonga Bob]

I vote no winner, that makes it 4-3, rescind his nomination.

 

[Kilroy]

MITS

Mate. I told ya.

Didn't I tell ya?

I said "MITS, mate, this is your week. "

Didn't I? Straight up. First thing.

To ya face. No sh*t! Didn't I?

Hahahaha. Hahahahaha.

I told ya. Ya silly c*nt! I'm proud of ya.

Still gonna punch ya when ya get home tho'.

 

[GremioPower]

I vote no winner, that makes it 4-3, rescind his nomination.

P.S.: The album cover screams 70’s. Geez. It feels like my parents’ old photo albums. So familiar. I can’t stop staring at it.

 

[GremioPower]

Mate
I
Talk
Sh*t

Great winner. Fabulous winner. Best Winner. Everybody loves a winner. You all gonna love him. YUGE poster.

 

[Tonga Bob]

Mate
I
Talk
Sh*t

Great winner. Fabulous winner. Best Winner. Everybody loves a winner. You all gonna love him. YUGE poster.

Are you The Donald's alt?

 

[omgfridge]

Wow what a week, I've been absolutely robbed here, delisted by the Gumbies and only to be retained and made captain. Eventful.

 

[GremioPower]

Are you The Donald's alt?

Make Sweet
Great Again
Covfefe​

 

[GWS Goose]

Wow what a week, I've been absolutely robbed here, delisted by the Gumbies and only to be retained and made captain. Eventful.

You were absolutely robbed, I won't leak party room discussions, but I pushed hard for you.

Santoz was having a down week, life post WW19 and all , GremioPower is the empathetic type and gave Mits a nomination to make Santoz feel better.

The nominations are losing credibility, everyone knows that undeserved nominations should be bought, not handed out due to pity.

next week I hope we return to business as usual and just take the cash.

 

[VainGlorious]

You were absolutely robbed, I won't leak party room discussions, but I pushed hard for you.

Santoz was having a down week, life post WW19 and all , GremioPower is the empathetic type and gave Mits a nomination to make Santoz feel better.

The nominations are losing credibility, everyone knows that undeserved nominations should be bought, not handed out due to pity.

next week I hope we return to business as usual and just take the cash.

If you hadn’t have sent Riviat and I nudes last season you would’ve struggled to get a nom.

You’re lucky pasty, middle-aged men were all the rage in S29.

This season, it’s all about the hairy, juiced-up, half Italian/half African-American offspring



You're welcome, btw.

 

[Tonga Bob]

If you hadn’t have sent Riviat and I nudes last season you would’ve struggled to get a nom.

You’re lucky pasty, middle-aged men were all the rage in S29.

This season, it’s all about the hairy, juiced-up, half Italian/half African-American offspring

View attachment 958671

You're welcome, btw.

Rising Star Committee pass

 

[GremioPower]

ROUND 7
THE NOMINEES

​

BOM-ROY, BLUEALLTHRU (ROY)

"The Roys won right off the BAT..."

GUM-HAW, omgfridge (GUM)

"Not as good as PMBangers, but worthy of a nomination."

CIW-DEM, FootyGuy13 (CIW)

"A proof of the value of a few quality posts."

DRA-LVB, MC Bad Genius (DRA)

"Very tough choice here. Plenty of 5-graders, but MCBG was best."

---

WHO IS GOING TO BE THIS WEEK'S “TORCH”?​

 

[omgfridge]

ROUND 7
THE NOMINEES ​

GUM-HAW, omgfridge (GUM)

"Not as good as PMBangers, but worthy of a nomination."

I became club captain this week, think I'm going alright.

Think I'm forever going to be the bridesmaid.

 

[GremioPower]

I became club captain this week, think I'm going alright.

Think I'm forever going to be the bridesmaid.

You have misspelled Bradesmaen...