The Worst Football Jargon

[MisterMarcus]

"Coswejustlovethafooty"

 

[Air Conveyance]

Disappointing is chronically overused.

It certainly was a disappointing effort from myself and the boys and i'm sure they're all disappointed as well. I'm disappointed, Bucks is disappointed, Harry O and Pendles are disappointed. Swanny looked disappointed, and Dids was certainly very disappointed. Its very disappointing for Keefey to miss out on the rest of the season as well. But theres still plenty of games to go and we've got the bye before the next one so hopefully everyone can get away for a bit and think about whats gone wrong but concentrate on the positives, we aren't out of finals contention yet and theres still time. If we can channel that disappointment we all feel at the moment into some positive footy then we can come back no question. We don't want to feel this disappointment again for a long time and i'm sure I speak for the rest of the players when I say they'd be disappointed to be this disappointed again any time soon. I would say that the fans should also be disappointed, and i'll be disappointed for the fans if we don't perform much better in Perth.

 

[Honeyboy Wilson]

You lot are easily upset by words.

Too easily, imo.

I blame our increasingly comfortable lifestyles giving us fewer and fewer legitimate things to complain about.

So, instead, we turn to minor things like the use of americanisms and new phrases in our sporting parlance to vent our frustrations at life.

Words are simply meant to convey a concept. When Russell says, 'Thomas shorts it to Beams', we all know what he means: Thomas kicked a short pass to Beams. When McAvaney says, 'Oh, he's delicious, isn't he?', he simply means that Rioli is (in his opinion) a pleasant footballer to watch ply his trade. When Brereton says, 'They are missing somebody to play that quarterback role', he simply means that with Hodge out, Hawthorn lack that extra defender with enough football smarts and disposal efficiency to find the ball and then hit targets to set up offensive plays from the back half.

I could go on, but the point is that we all know what these guys mean when they use these terms. That's all words are meant to do: convey to us, the listener, the thoughts going through the head of the commentator saying those words. So long as commentators aren't saying stuff like, 'Cotchin squarbles the ticketmachine to Vickery, who extends his arms but roasts another turkey, King gathers it, looks around for a golddigger, ices the muffintop, who plays on to Martin who has a gloopenheigen from 50... and strays it for another behind', then I really don't see the need for the fuss.*

Words are just words. Your life would be much more enjoyable if you simply accepted their use for what it is and relaxed. There are much better things to worry about, and even most of those things aren't worth worrying about.



*Even in this example, I reckon most football followers could work out exactly what happened in that play

I'm with this guy.

I wonder how many people complaining have ever attempted to watch the footy without commentary? Just put on music, or have no sound at all? Sure, some things can be a little annoying, but in reality, it's better than other options.

And this is coming from someone who had to put up with the Gold Coast Cheer Squad, I mean commentators, groaning every time Port kicked a goal on the weekend.

 

[mdenn69]

haven't read through the whole thread so dunno if it's been brought up but my pet hate is "Gee they were brave today" what does that even mean!? the bad team just got a little closer than everyone was expecting, they weren't any braver, unless they actually sacrificed themselves more in contests etc. but just coz gws loses by less then 50 points one week they're not brave.

 

[romeoh]

'They've come to play" I understand sometimes the team is in better form than at other times, but seriously.

 

[purpleblood29]

When teams start winning and a commentator goes "You can really see they're believing in themselves now" "the belief is building" that kinda crap. Usually from Brian Taylor.
Also hating the way they pronounce Ree-volt for Riewoldt and Broost for Bruest.

That's because Riewoldt IS actually pronounced Ree-volt...

 

[Pie eyed]

Keep an eye on this new one to gain some momentum in footy circles...

Jack Riewoldt said in an interview the other day when talking about things that continued to be worked on, "our compliance".

Expect it to quickly become trendy in sentences regarding structures and systems etc...

Mistress Watters says "you must comply......"

Looks like he took hiss S&M gear vith him from Collingvood.

 

[Blue since 72]

For me the commentary is a bit like background noise; you know it's there but you're not really listening to it. However in the spirit of the thread:

'He played for touch' or 'kicked for touch';

and gaining popularity;

'cracking in"

 

[Chops_a_must]

[YOUTUBE]XRCOdCsrcTI[/YOUTUBE]


I'm certainly of the opinion the commentary could become much more interesting if it included an art critic or a philosopher, or some such - to commentate the commentary.

 

[Chops_a_must]

Incomplete sentences are also my pet peeve.

[YOUTUBE]mCtHOHkXlNQ[/YOUTUBE]

 

[IvanTudorCMcHock]

Yeah nah obviously hopefully at the end of the day we're lookin forward to it.

 

[Chops_a_must]

One for the fans of the word, "literally".

[YOUTUBE]Wr3xikdhWIo[/YOUTUBE]

 

[muttley45]

Disappointing is chronically overused.

i am bitterly disappointed

 

[TheNextBigThing]

The start of every Ross Lyin sentence when he's being interviewed....

"The reality is....."

Geez its irritating!

Brad Scott always says "we're under no illusions"

 

[SCHUMACHER]

For me it's definitely 'work-rate', I'd like to ask these commentators exactly what a certain players work-rate is and what work-rate he should be aiming for.

 

[wce4premiership]

Half volley.



So he is just faster.

No ... speed can be measured in lots of different ways. Starting speed, closing speed, maintained speed, sideways movement etc.

It's not black and white

 

[MC Extra Dollop]

Dwayne Russell drops this comment every now & then

Player X kicks a splits the middle with a set shot & Dwayne proclaims "IT'S A SPEAR"....

The thing that gets me about these kicks is they're usually flat hard drop punts to hit a teammate between 20-45m away. How many spears do you see that are just thrown flat in basically a straight line? If you have to go with something, surely 'a bullet' would make more sense.

JB is a funny one. Every time he interviews a player he sounds like someone’s dad who just got home to find his son sitting round with a few of his mates, and is trying to join in the conversation... but just sounds awkward.


Probably my favourite is Tim Lane, I like the way he goes about it in a no-nonsense kind of way. Reminds me of English commentators, they just describe the game.

Like your work Bunk, especially the description of JB, but just had to bold for irony.

One I haven't seen mentioned yet is 'jet'. When/why did this come in? And 'falcon'. Why does it seem like AFL commentators have just cottoned on to the term this year, when their NRL counterparts have probably been using it for close to two decades?

I will say that I've been in the position of having to give a few interviews on a footy show on the radio (certainly not a big station, before you ask). I like to think of myself as a reasonably intelligent person, with a decent vocabulary, but it's amazing what happens when you're being broadcast live, especially when you have to respond to other people's questions. You can actually feel the cliches and overuse of certain words as they come out of your mouth, but you're almost powerless to stop it.

 

[Shemp 54]

One commentator recently referring to a trend in footy tactics said it is 'trending'

 

[DarkPhoenix]

While I agree with a lot of terms brought up in this thread, its also pretty obvious that some suggestions are a bit precious.

Could you imagine how boring and monotonous commentary would if you cut out every single suggestion in this thread? (Moreso than it already is I mean).

 

[wilsonmatic]

commetti saying 'so and so ghosts past the pack'

and luke darcy talking.

 

[wilsonmatic]

also, terrace wallace couldnt stop using the word 'jet' about good players last year. this year his big catch cry seems to be 'locked and loaded'.

 

[Sub_Zero]

"the pill"
its a football for gods sake so call it that!

 

[BurnleyBomber]

Not used in commentary in games but in SEN. KB is the culprit. The term he uses often and the one I hate the most...''hot to trot''. I figure it's a horse racing term but I just don't like it.

Also the ad where KB say ...''and tuck into a $15 pot and parma meal''. Tuck!?!?!?!? Michael Tuck into a Parma!?!??

GTFO out with that rubbish.

 

[Axle17]

anything that comes out of Robbo's mouth, i tend to shiver at

 

[WeetBixKid]

You lot are easily upset by words.

Too easily, imo.

I blame our increasingly comfortable lifestyles giving us fewer and fewer legitimate things to complain about.

So, instead, we turn to minor things like the use of americanisms and new phrases in our sporting parlance to vent our frustrations at life.

Words are simply meant to convey a concept. When Russell says, 'Thomas shorts it to Beams', we all know what he means: Thomas kicked a short pass to Beams. When McAvaney says, 'Oh, he's delicious, isn't he?', he simply means that Rioli is (in his opinion) a pleasant footballer to watch ply his trade. When Brereton says, 'They are missing somebody to play that quarterback role', he simply means that with Hodge out, Hawthorn lack that extra defender with enough football smarts and disposal efficiency to find the ball and then hit targets to set up offensive plays from the back half.

I could go on, but the point is that we all know what these guys mean when they use these terms. That's all words are meant to do: convey to us, the listener, the thoughts going through the head of the commentator saying those words. So long as commentators aren't saying stuff like, 'Cotchin squarbles the ticketmachine to Vickery, who extends his arms but roasts another turkey, King gathers it, looks around for a golddigger, ices the muffintop, who plays on to Martin who has a gloopenheigen from 50... and strays it for another behind', then I really don't see the need for the fuss.*

Words are just words. Your life would be much more enjoyable if you simply accepted their use for what it is and relaxed. There are much better things to worry about, and even most of those things aren't worth worrying about.



*Even in this example, I reckon most football followers could work out exactly what happened in that play

this, people seem to just be posting whatever jargon they can think of rather than what sucks.