Resource Hinkleyball - A Short History

[tribey]

What’s annoying is that you can’t even argue the point of all those games over all those years with the happyclappers, because they don’t even remember them. Those games were what? 5, 6, 7 etc. years ago.

All the ones I encounter on a more regular basis would struggle to tell you one thing they remember happening in as recently as 2022.

This is a good point. They literally don’t.

I mentioned the Ben Brown 10-goal game where North ended our finals hopes with an 86pt upset (featuring Dougal and Lycett in the reserves) to a guy who was completely absolving last year’s straight sets exit due to injury and a lack of tall timber, and it was like I was blaming the demise of Kodak on an esoteric happenstance in the Feudal Japan-era.

Koch has repeatedly shown he’s the same with his inaccurate comments (“we went out in straight sets in 02/03”) and lies by omission (“I look at the data, Ken is our most successful AFL coach”).

What hope do we have when we’re dealing with diametrically-opposed realities?

 

[johnnysix]

The MOST Hinkleyball characteristics to me, are:

Slow start to a big game
Absolutely burning midfield ascendance for little result
Coming back to within a couple of goals when the other team has taken the foot off.
Opponents scoring junk time goals that eat away at any hard earned lead / put it just out of arms length again.
And all in all... A complete aversion to responsibility, and inability to deal with expectation.

These things have been the same for over a decade now and whilst the players we throw into this broken system might get better or worse, the system itself has never really changed.

 

[Alberton Proud]

I thought Hinkleyball was the never ending quest for finding the most convoluted way of effecting a score

 

[sobrave]

To celebrate the 11th anniversary of Ken Hinkley's first game as senior coach of the Port Adelaide Football Club, I thought I'd compose a short history of what has come to be known as 'Hinkleyball'.

We all know Hinkleyball. A slippery night at the Oval. A close game. That feeling of dread. The fumbling from our players. The shanked set shots. By contrast, the apparent sky high confidence and silky skills of the opposition players, seemingly unable to miss a target or a shot at goal. The small but vocal opposition fans behind the northern goals. It's another night of Hinkleyball.

Hinkleyball must feature the following elements:

• Twilight or night game
• Played at Adelaide Oval
• Defeat by a few goals or less

It may or may not feature the following elements:

• Defeat despite a significant advantage in inside 50s and/or shots on goal
• Jumped early before mounting a faux final quarter comeback where it 'looks' like we might win but we don't
• An opposition player kicking a goal after the siren to win the match, possibly from a free kick
• The opposition later win the premiership and credit this game as the one that made them believe

2014:

R16 v Essendon - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2014/051320140705.html

The game that started it all. We lose 7.18 (60) to 8.14 (62). Trailed by 16 points at 3/4 time but mounted a faux comeback that fell short. Inside 50s 54-50 our way. Our first ever home defeat at the Oval and a sign of things to come.

2016:

R9 v West Coast - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2016/131820160521.html

Wasn't sure whether to include this or not but decided to include it because I feel like it sets the tone for what we all know comes later against the same opposition. No notable discrepancy in inside 50s or shots on goal but a classic case of getting jumped early before mounting a faux comeback that never looks likely and falls 8 points short.

2017:

R7 v West Coast - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2017/131820170506.html

Hinkleyball at its finest. Jumped again by West Coast. Faux last quarter comeback again. This time though the scoreboard reads an ugly 12.15 (87) to 15.7 (97) with a staggering inside 50 advantage of 68-39. Yes, you read that right. A disgrace that would be repeated against the same opposition in dramatic fashion months later.

R15 v Richmond - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2017/131420170701.html

Where in prior years we had only seen glimpses of it, this is by now starting to become a theme. We lose 8.15 (63) to 11.10 (76) with an inside 50 advantage of 67-52. Richmond players later credit this game as when they knew they could win the flag.

EF v West Coast - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2017/131820170909.html

The big daddy of all Hinkleyball games. Jumped early, spend the whole night trying to get back into it. Dixon kicks 3.6. We lose in extra time after the siren with Luke Shuey getting a free kick for a high tackle. Of course he doesn't miss and ends our season. Final score 10.16 (76) to 12.6 (78). Inside 50 advantage of 63-46.

2018:

R21 v West Coast - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2018/131820180811.html

Just to prove the previous year's final wasn't a fluke, we put on an encore performance. This game was slightly different because we were actually in front all game, had less inside 50s and kicked more accurately than the opposition. But the obvious similarity is too good to ignore. West Coast mount a last quarter surge to win with a kick after the siren from Jeremy McGovern. To confirm the club's status as a meme, the kick was from the exact same spot as Luke Shuey in the previous year's elimination final. This was the first time West Coast had led all game.

2019:

R4 v Richmond - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2019/131420190413.html

The famous 'we've got a long way to go to be anywhere near as good as the Richmond Football Club' game. We lose a close game by 7 points with Richmond missing a host of key players including Martin, Riewoldt and Cotchin.

R19 v GWS - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2019/132120190727.html

I know this one is a personal favourite of tribey's. We lose 7.13 (55) to 8.8 (56). Inside 50 advantage 53-45. Haynes and Davis take 23 marks between them.

2020:

PF v Richmond - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2020/131420201016.html

The most consequential of all games in this series. A home preliminary final. Game goes backwards and forwards all night. Dixon puts us in front in the last quarter and we look like we could do the unthinkable. Lambert kicks two goals, including one from a free kick, to sink us. We lose by a goal despite an inside 50 advantage of 58-44.

2022:

R3 v Adelaide - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2022/011320220401.html

Not technically a home game but it was still at the Oval and too good not to include. We lead from early in the opening quarter before getting beaten after the siren once again from the boot of Jordan Dawson after a clumsy free kick is given away by Sam Mayes. Final score 15.6 (96) to 13.14 (92).

2023:

R19 v Collingwood - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2023/041320230722.html

A while between drinks but this one was a beauty. We lose 12.11 (83) to 13.7 (85). Inisde 50 advantage of 57-44. Collingwood can't miss from anywhere whilst we spray easy shots from everywhere.

2024:

R3 v Melbourne - (match stats to be uploaded)

A carbon copy of the aforementioned Collingwood game. We lose 13.11 (89) to 15.6 (96). Inside 50 advantage of 66-45. Melbourne can't miss from anywhere whilst we spray easy shots from everywhere.

https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/the-anti-hinkleyball.1362384/

Remember when Josh Carr took over for a while after stinkers first got kicked out of the box ("untenable") and we played anti-hinkleyball?

Have a look at the stats in that post. We played a completely different brand of footy focused on efficiency. Now we're back to the over possession, lock it inside repeat 50 entries garbage pus that Hinkley has tried for about 6 years unsuccessfully.

Remember when we had Dylan Williams and Bergman roaming the backlines and pinpointing passes instead of fumbler Jones dropping 85 chest marks? Bergman was killing it at half back, the move to the wing has made him a plodder.

 

[Marmozet]

Hinkley’s alright if you don’t want to win a premiership.

 

[edgie]

Another important part of the faux comebacks, is we actually get to within striking distance with plenty of time left before hitting a wall or getting the chokes. It isn't like we wait until the last five minutes. Usually we go hell for leather and get to within a goal with still 10 to 15 minutes left before being unable to do anything meaningful from that point.

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[JimmyBC]

What a ride it's been, thanks Kenny

 

[Peninsula Boy]

I'll chuck a couple in before the ball is bounced.

The Press Conference where Kenny praises the other team and talks about the game in terms of fear and anxiety.
Poor selection at the table.
Bad matchups.
Keeping a losing matchup for most or the entire game.

I don't want to think about it too much anymore to be truthful.

 

[edgie]

Also as a bonus to the above, sometimes a team will kick a late goal to take the lead back to more than a goal, and we somehow find the ability to find a quick reply, after ten minutes of piss farting about with it, with about 4 seconds left.

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[Sheeds]

What’s annoying is that you can’t even argue the point of all those games over all those years with the happyclappers, because they don’t even remember them. Those games were what? 5, 6, 7 etc. years ago.

All the ones I encounter on a more regular basis would struggle to tell you one thing they remember happening in as recently as 2022.

They don’t remember any of those games in the last decade but somehow remember we were a poor side in 2012 and Kenny saved us.

 

[Launchpad McQuack]

This is a good point. They literally don’t.

I mentioned the Ben Brown 10-goal game where North ended our finals hopes with an 86pt upset (featuring Dougal and Lycett in the reserves) to a guy who was completely absolving last year’s straight sets exit due to injury and a lack of tall timber, and it was like I was blaming the demise of Kodak on an esoteric happenstance in the Feudal Japan-era.

Koch has repeatedly shown he’s the same with his inaccurate comments (“we went out in straight sets in 02/03”) and lies by omission (“I look at the data, Ken is our most successful AFL coach”).

What hope do we have when we’re dealing with diametrically-opposed realities?

The club didn't even remember the Ben "Showbiz" Brown game the following season after they shafted stand-in captain Howard. They tried gaslighting the BF roundtable that Doogs was playing on Brown that game when he didn't even play.

 

[Launchpad McQuack]

https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/the-anti-hinkleyball.1362384/

Remember when Josh Carr took over for a while after stinkers first got kicked out of the box ("untenable") and we played anti-hinkleyball?

Have a look at the stats in that post. We played a completely different brand of footy focused on efficiency. Now we're back to the over possession, lock it inside repeat 50 entries garbage pus that Hinkley has tried for about 6 years unsuccessfully.

Remember when we had Dylan Williams and Bergman roaming the backlines and pinpointing passes instead of fumbler Jones dropping 85 chest marks? Bergman was killing it at half back, the move to the wing has made him a plodder.

Just as a mild aside, Duurs looked pretty good on the wing for Essendon this week

 

[Peninsula Boy]

Oh yes, I forgot but this is a systemic one but predictability of the gameplan.

 

[JimmyBC]

I thought Hinkleyball was the never ending quest for finding the most convoluted way of effecting a score

That's Total Football

 

[Rowd072]

https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/the-anti-hinkleyball.1362384/

Remember when Josh Carr took over for a while after stinkers first got kicked out of the box ("untenable") and we played anti-hinkleyball?

Have a look at the stats in that post. We played a completely different brand of footy focused on efficiency. Now we're back to the over possession, lock it inside repeat 50 entries garbage pus that Hinkley has tried for about 6 years unsuccessfully.

Remember when we had Dylan Williams and Bergman roaming the backlines and pinpointing passes instead of fumbler Jones dropping 85 chest marks? Bergman was killing it at half back, the move to the wing has made him a plodder.

This. Such a great post!

 

[NoddyHolder]

What a ride it's been, thanks Kenny

It's been like a drive across the Hay Plains in a 1968 Toyota Crown

 

[longdonkey]

Hinkleyball's natural habitat is definitely AO but it also is known to make appearances at other stadia

Yes one at Cardigan Park is memorable for all the wrong reasons

 

[Pt Augusta Power]

Hinkley ball has to be a night or twilight game against a quality team.

Some fight, huge inside 50 advantage, loose free kick count, skill errors from our players coughing up any chance of a win.

 

[Duckimus Prime]

2018:

R21 v West Coast - https://afltables.com/afl/stats/games/2018/131820180811.html

Just to prove the previous year's final wasn't a fluke, we put on an encore performance. This game was slightly different because we were actually in front all game, had less inside 50s and kicked more accurately than the opposition. But the obvious similarity is too good to ignore. West Coast mount a last quarter surge to win with a kick after the siren from Jeremy McGovern . To confirm the club's status as a meme, the kick was from the exact same spot as Luke Shuey in the previous year's elimination final. This was the first time West Coast had led all game.

This game really shouldn't be listed in the Hinkley stuff ups. We lost Ryder, Houston and Dixon to injuries during this match. And were overrun by a team that just had more fit players.

 

[edgie]

That's Total Football

No that's Jeet Ken Do

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[edgie]

This game really shouldn't be listed in the Hinkley stuff ups. We lost Ryder, Houston and Dixon to injuries during this match. And were overrun by a team that just had more fit players.

We all know we would have found a way to lose regardless

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[Capital Power]

Can we expand the definition of Hinkleyball to include those games we lose because an opposition player has a career-best game against us, never to be seen again? We do have a habit of making street buskers look like Taylor Swift.

 

[JohnHinckleyJr]

That's ****ing terrible..

And we would of had more if not for individual heroics of Robbie gray

9

Robbie Gray

Age

36

Ht

183cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

19.9

5star

K

9.8

4star

HB

10.1

5star

M

3.5

4star

T

3.2

5star

G

1.4

5star

D

13.3

3star

K

6.0

2star

HB

7.3

4star

M

2.4

3star

T

2.6

4star

G

0.6

4star

D

10.4

3star

K

6.6

3star

HB

3.8

3star

M

3.6

4star

T

1.4

4star

G

1.4

5star

 

[JohnHinckleyJr]

Can we expand the definition of Hinkleyball to include those games we lose because an opposition player has a career-best game against us, never to be seen again? We do have a habit of making street buskers look like Taylor Swift.

Gallant still ****ing haunts me

 

[edgie]

Can we expand the definition of Hinkleyball to include those games we lose because an opposition player has a career-best game against us, never to be seen again? We do have a habit of making street buskers look like Taylor Swift.

That's more late era choco/Primus era

Spuds who tear us apart

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