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Round 3 Review
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This is a dramatisation of the past week.

After spending a delightful week with the Bombers in the match thread, we headed to Baghdad to take on the Bombers. Chipmunk had been itching to drive the bus for a while, so we thought, why not? How much damage could he possibly cause in the middle of the desert? As it turns out, quite a bit, judging by the look of it.

Chipmunk traffic accident.png

It was also Joshwoodenspoon’s 250th game, so his family had stowed away on the bus because they were too tight to pay for their own way to the game.

Chipmunk got us to the ground in one piece, but that’s more than I can say for the bus. We won’t be getting our deposit back, that’s for sure. We headed to the change rooms where Test Tickle was ensuring everyone got some fluids into them before the game.

testy mad monday.png

We took to the field running through a special Spoon Guard of Honour for the milestone man.

Spoon Guard of Honour.png

We couldn’t have asked for a worse start, giving up a goal within the first minute. But it didn’t take us long to respond. After a point from Milky, MWPP kicked our first for the day and put us in front. That lasted all of 60 seconds before we conceded another goal, and things only got worse as our accuracy was so poor we couldn’t find the goals even with a map and compass. On the other hand, the Bombers were kicking brilliantly and had 5 goals to their names. Our pot smoking coach could see things were going bad and brought on CountryLad to replace the milestone man after just 7 minutes. In his pot riddled mind, he thought a Country Lad had a better chance of rounding up the Goat Lovers than a spoon.

After a run of behinds, it took Bears rookie SSSSSS to show the team how to kick straight, putting one right through the middle to bring the margin back to 15 points. This inspired his older teammates, and just before quarter time, Matera thought he had taken a mark before realising it was a handpass. He played on and kicked truly to bring us back within 8 points at the break.

After the break, we continued our poor kicking until ruckman Cap finally got one through the middle to level the game. As usual, that lasted 60 seconds before the Bombers got back in front, and they continued to kick straight, slotting 7 goals from their 9 shots, while we managed 4 from 13. I Dont Care who had wandered onto the field, somehow found himself with the ball in hand, snapped a miraculous goal to bring us within 3 points. We were now peppering the goals but still missing. Art Vandelay, who until now was staring down the barrel of a donuts game, found himself in a fortunate position when the Bombers’ full back dropped the ball. Art picked it up, took a bounce, and kicked truly to put us in front. The pot smoker finally realised that Josh was gathering splinters in his backside and sent him onto the field for JoseMourinho. It worked immediately, with Josh intercepting the ball off a drunken Bomber and kicking a goal just 50 seconds after coming on. It was a huge momentum lifter for the Bears right before half time. The Bears took a 9 point lead into the break.

The Bombers kicked the first goal after half time, but still riding the momentum from the JWS goal, the Bears started kicking accurately, with Shadow Man, Cap, and SSSSSS all adding goals to the score. The Bombers managed the next goal before Art kicked his second of the game, giving us the biggest margin of the match at 22 points. The Bombers responded with the next 2 goals, closing the gap to under 2 goals. They had all the momentum going into the 3 quarter time break. But Kane249, determined to win for his old mate Josh, stepped up. He crunched a Bomber, picked up the ball, and snapped truly on the 3 quarter time siren to give the Bears a 16 point lead going into the last quarter.

SSSSSS had the perfect chance to give us a great start to the final term but managed to hit the post. From this point on, the Bombers took control of the game, having the next 7 shots. Thankfully for us, they had picked up our yips and could only managed 2 goals 5 from those 7 shots. The game was now tied, and the Bombers had all the momentum. But from the kick in, the Bears went end to end, with CountryLad kicking it to Fat Tony, who found Chipmunk. Chipmunk then handed it off to Matera92, who hogged the limelight and kicked the goal from the wing. The Bears were back in front with 11 minutes to play. The Bombers, now with the yips, were missing shots, but we couldn’t get the ball away from them. SSSSSS had left the field and was in the timekeepers' box, urging them to blow the siren. With 4:45 left on the clock, the Bombers found the goals and were back in front. SSSSSS quickly told them to keep their hands off the button as he ran back onto the field. With just over 2 minutes left, the ball fell to Joshwoodenspoon, who could be the hero in his milestone game, launched a bomb from outside 50 but missed. With a point the difference and only 2:18 left on the clock, the Bombers tried to ice the game but missed a pass, giving us another chance. Josh picked up the ball and kicked it to MWPP, who was called to play on because the pass wasn’t 15 metres. MWPP quickly took a flying shot on goal but, like everyone else today, missed. The scores were tied with 54 seconds left to play. The Bombers, needing a score to win, kicked long down the middle, but they were somehow outmarked by the smallest player on the field. Chipmunk, knowing there was no time left to waste, played on and kicked as hard as he could, spilling all his nuts he had saved for after the game. The ball sailed a whopping 80 metres straight through the middle as the siren sounded. Josh got his milestone win, and Chipmunk was the hero. The Bears fans raced onto the field to join in the celebration, with Chipmunk triumphantly being raised into the sky.

Chipmunk the Hero.png

The crowd began to part, and everyone was waiting to see who was coming. To everyone’s surprise, it was David Hasselhoff strolling through, belting out one of his greatest hits.



The Bears partied the night away and headed home with the 4 points and 4th place on the ladder.

Match Stats
 

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View attachment 2077785

This is a dramatisation of the past week.

After spending a delightful week with the Bombers in the match thread, we headed to Baghdad to take on the Bombers. Chipmunk had been itching to drive the bus for a while, so we thought, why not? How much damage could he possibly cause in the middle of the desert? As it turns out, quite a bit, judging by the look of it.

View attachment 2077786

It was also Joshwoodenspoon’s 250th game, so his family had stowed away on the bus because they were too tight to pay for their own way to the game.

Chipmunk got us to the ground in one piece, but that’s more than I can say for the bus. We won’t be getting our deposit back, that’s for sure. We headed to the change rooms where Test Tickle was ensuring everyone got some fluids into them before the game.

View attachment 2077787

We took to the field running through a special Spoon Guard of Honour for the milestone man.

View attachment 2077789

We couldn’t have asked for a worse start, giving up a goal within the first minute. But it didn’t take us long to respond. After a point from Milky, MWPP kicked our first for the day and put us in front. That lasted all of 60 seconds before we conceded another goal, and things only got worse as our accuracy was so poor we couldn’t find the goals even with a map and compass. On the other hand, the Bombers were kicking brilliantly and had 5 goals to their names. Our pot smoking coach could see things were going bad and brought on CountryLad to replace the milestone man after just 7 minutes. In his pot riddled mind, he thought a Country Lad had a better chance of rounding up the Goat Lovers than a spoon.

After a run of behinds, it took Bears rookie SSSSSS to show the team how to kick straight, putting one right through the middle to bring the margin back to 15 points. This inspired his older teammates, and just before quarter time, Matera thought he had taken a mark before realising it was a handpass. He played on and kicked truly to bring us back within 8 points at the break.

After the break, we continued our poor kicking until ruckman Cap finally got one through the middle to level the game. As usual, that lasted 60 seconds before the Bombers got back in front, and they continued to kick straight, slotting 7 goals from their 9 shots, while we managed 4 from 13. I Dont Care who had wandered onto the field, somehow found himself with the ball in hand, snapped a miraculous goal to bring us within 3 points. We were now peppering the goals but still missing. Art Vandelay, who until now was staring down the barrel of a donuts game, found himself in a fortunate position when the Bombers’ full back dropped the ball. Art picked it up, took a bounce, and kicked truly to put us in front. The pot smoker finally realised that Josh was gathering splinters in his backside and sent him onto the field for JoseMourinho. It worked immediately, with Josh intercepting the ball off a drunken Bomber and kicking a goal just 50 seconds after coming on. It was a huge momentum lifter for the Bears right before half time. The Bears took a 9 point lead into the break.

The Bombers kicked the first goal after half time, but still riding the momentum from the JWS goal, the Bears started kicking accurately, with Shadow Man, Cap, and SSSSSS all adding goals to the score. The Bombers managed the next goal before Art kicked his second of the game, giving us the biggest margin of the match at 22 points. The Bombers responded with the next 2 goals, closing the gap to under 2 goals. They had all the momentum going into the 3 quarter time break. But Kane249, determined to win for his old mate Josh, stepped up. He crunched a Bomber, picked up the ball, and snapped truly on the 3 quarter time siren to give the Bears a 16 point lead going into the last quarter.

SSSSSS had the perfect chance to give us a great start to the final term but managed to hit the post. From this point on, the Bombers took control of the game, having the next 7 shots. Thankfully for us, they had picked up our yips and could only managed 2 goals 5 from those 7 shots. The game was now tied, and the Bombers had all the momentum. But from the kick in, the Bears went end to end, with CountryLad kicking it to Fat Tony, who found Chipmunk. Chipmunk then handed it off to Matera92, who hogged the limelight and kicked the goal from the wing. The Bears were back in front with 11 minutes to play. The Bombers, now with the yips, were missing shots, but we couldn’t get the ball away from them. SSSSSS had left the field and was in the timekeepers' box, urging them to blow the siren. With 4:45 left on the clock, the Bombers found the goals and were back in front. SSSSSS quickly told them to keep their hands off the button as he ran back onto the field. With just over 2 minutes left, the ball fell to Joshwoodenspoon, who could be the hero in his milestone game, launched a bomb from outside 50 but missed. With a point the difference and only 2:18 left on the clock, the Bombers tried to ice the game but missed a pass, giving us another chance. Josh picked up the ball and kicked it to MWPP, who was called to play on because the pass wasn’t 15 metres. MWPP quickly took a flying shot on goal but, like everyone else today, missed. The scores were tied with 54 seconds left to play. The Bombers, needing a score to win, kicked long down the middle, but they were somehow outmarked by the smallest player on the field. Chipmunk, knowing there was no time left to waste, played on and kicked as hard as he could, spilling all his nuts he had saved for after the game. The ball sailed a whopping 80 metres straight through the middle as the siren sounded. Josh got his milestone win, and Chipmunk was the hero. The Bears fans raced onto the field to join in the celebration, with Chipmunk triumphantly being raised into the sky.

View attachment 2077804

The crowd began to part, and everyone was waiting to see who was coming. To everyone’s surprise, it was David Hasselhoff strolling through, belting out one of his greatest hits.



The Bears partied the night away and headed home with the 4 points and 4th place on the ladder.

Match Stats



Unbelievable stuff! What a season we have in store.
 
Welcome back to le club MKMatty! Place is pretty similar, 50/50 record, Matera92 strutting round like he owns the place. Only tony is in charge now (do not cross him), and we fired our whole HR department to buy more feather boas umm gym equipment.
 
Welcome Recruits.png

I would like to officially welcome MKMatty back to Las Vegas. Matty joined the club back in Season 18 when the Bears rejoined the league. He played 60 games for the club between Seasons 18-20 and S28-29.

We look forward to seeing him dance his way through opposition teams and bring his unique flair to our matches.

Welcome home!



mkmatty.gif

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Hopefully this welcome home turns out better than traitor turncoat Dingster who has ****ed off once more.

No better than Ted Lasso that bloke
 
Round 4 Review
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ROYALS RAVAGE NAPPING BEARS

After back to back thrilling wins , the mighty Las Vegas Bears travelled to the Golden Throne for a grudge match against the Royals, the team who knocked us out of the finals in S37. It was a fun build-up which included celebrating the homecoming of MKMatty as we trained the house down by day and gambled 'responsibly' with Chipmunk 's Chippybet by night. On match day, five loyal Gold-City based Bears fans joined us on the team bus as our driver Senor M made hook turns look easy.

On a beautiful day with warm conditions that should have favoured us on paper thanks to our prematch/pretraining 'cold beverage' routine, it was the Royals who drew first blood. Returning star MKMatty got us on the board with a behind before favourite son Matera92's own behind then major levelled the scores. A team foray forward was converted into a rushed behind, resulting in a surprise 1 point lead at the 14 minute mark. It had all the makings of a thriller. However, we conceded two goals later in the term to slip to being 11 points down at the first change.

Unfortunately the Royals continued their momentum in the second quarter, kicking 3 further goals (making it 5 unanswered goals either side of the first break) before yours truly kicked one against the run of play to bring us back to within 23 points. Art Vandelay managed 2 goals later in that term off limited supply but ultimately it was a disappointing 3 goal to 8 quarter that left us 45 points down at the main change.

After a half time spray , we stemmed the flow slightly in the third quarter, partly thanks to the Royals' inaccuracy. We conceded 3.6 whilst adding 2.3 of our own thanks to back to back majors from Art Vandelay_ and JoseMourinho. If anything the 54 points deficit at the final change flattered us as we were way off the pace. All we had left to play for in the final term was pride whilst limiting further damage to our %, but the less said about this quarter, the better. We were simply no match for the faster, fitter and stronger Royals. Back to back goals to Matera92 and Cap midway through the term gave the fans rare highlights to cheer but we still slumped to a horrible 78 point loss.

On a dark day, Fred Vandelay aka Art Vandelay_ not only beat his opponent (the highly rated /multiple all-SFA winning CakeEater) but kicked 3.1 from limited supply. Opportunistic frenemy in crime Matera92 managed 2.3 from FP, also from limited supply. Chipmunk (90 DT, 23 disposals, 11 marks) was our most influential player, finding space through the centre square after first use from multiple-Mateflon winner Cap (75 DT, 13 hitouts, 1 goal) . Shadow Man (72 DT, 6 tackles) relished his time in the engine room and combined well with Wingman RonnieRaven (81 DT, 20 disposals, 5 marks). RookiePick did very well off HBF (beating his opponent and collecting 62 DT) and was the standout amongst a defence under siege on a day when our opponents had all the answers to our trusty Platypus Formation. Tellingly, HBF counterpart and skipper tony wisely decided to take his private jet home to escape the scrutiny from the Sweet Media as the rest of us did some soul searching on the bus, determined to put this game behind us as quickly as possible.

The main positive is that there is plenty of upside /sources of improvement for our S36 GF rematch against the Gumbies this week. Miraculously, we also remain in the 8 despite the 2nd worst % in the league and the only way from here is up as we #beartodream.
 
In the 8 and we're not even out of first gear!!!

No, the wheels did NOT fall off last week.
They can’t have fallen off if they weren’t even on in the first place ;)

As before, plenty of upside

IMG_4435.jpeg
 

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Electronic_Renaissance 100 Game Milestone
Milestone 2.png

Electronic_Renaissance, I’ve hit a creative wall. After writing so many of these milestone posts, I needed a little help. So, I turned to ChatGPT for a little inspiration.

First up on the AI’s list of brilliant ideas was to write you a song, seeing as your username shares a name with a song. I thought, ‘Sure, why not?’ But as it turns out, my musical talents are... well, nonexistent. So, I asked the AI to do the heavy lifting. And what did it produce? A melody that sounded less like a celebration and more like a ritual to summon a demon. But hey, here’s the AI’s attempt:


With the song flopping harder than my attempts to use chopsticks, I moved on to the next suggestion: writing a poem. I’m no poet, but I figured, why not give it a shot? Sadly, AI let me down again, delivering something that would make a Hallmark card writer weep with embarrassment. Still, here’s what it spat out:


When the pizza’s on the plate, you’re the first to take a bite,
But not with hands, no, you do it just right.
With fork in one hand and knife in the other,
You eat like royalty, unlike any other.

The team’s on the field, ready for a fight,
But you're in the locker room, cutting each slice just right.
“Pass the pepperoni,” you call with flair,
As your teammates look on, wondering if you’ll share.

When it’s time to play, you bring your A-game,
But everyone knows, it’s the pizza you’ll tame.
With a twirl of your fork and a slice in your sight,
You prove once again, you’ve got the dining right.

So here’s to you, with your culinary grace,
In the middle of a match, or a pizza race.
A hundred games, and still in the fight,
But not with hands, no, you do it just right.

After two failed attempts and what felt like an eternity of lost time, I decided to give it one last try. The AI suggested making a graphic, and I thought, ‘Surely, this can’t go wrong.’ If the Old Boys can whip up AI generated graphics, then so can I, right? Wrong. Very wrong. The result? Let’s just say it was Picasso level abstract, but not in a good way. Behold:

ai 100 games.png

So, here we are, ER. I’ve got nothing to show for all this effort except a series of catastrophes. But despite the AI's epic failures, there’s one thing I can do without its help, express how much we all appreciate you. Everyone at the Bears loves you and your refined cutlery expertise. In fact, just for you tonight, I’ll be eating my pizza with a knife and fork.

By the way, I think I’m getting better at setting the table. What do you reckon?

100 Games.png
 
Kane249 350th Game Milestone
Milestone 4.png

On May 1, 2014, a young and ambitious Kane249 made his first post in the Sweet FA, boldly declaring his intention to join the returning expansion team, the Las Vegas Bears. He wasn’t just here to make up the numbers, Kane was here to build a legacy. In his very first post, he made it clear:

kane249 said:
Pants made me an offer too good to refuse, so count me in.

In his second post, he didn’t hesitate to share exactly why he was choosing the Bears:

kane249 said:
In this fall...this is very tough...in this fall I'm going to take my talents to Nevada and join the Las Vegas Bears. I feel like it's going to give me the best opportunity to win and to win for multiple years, and not only just to win in the regular season or just to win five games in a row or three games in a row, I want to be able to win championships. And I feel like I can compete down there

Fast forward 21 seasons and 10 years later, and Kane249 is about to run out for his 350th game, yes, 350! That’s 350 times Kane has pulled on the Bears jumper, 350 times he’s led by example, and 350 times he’s given everything for the club. Over those years, Kane has set an incredible list of Bears records: most games played, most finals played, most consecutive games played, most marks in a game, and probably plenty more that only the most dedicated stat nerds could uncover.

But these aren’t just numbers, each record is a testament to Kane’s loyalty, endurance, and unwavering commitment to the Bears. He’s not just a club stalwart; he’s the only player in Bears history to win a Best and Fairest award in a premiership season, a season where he didn’t just contribute, he was instrumental. Kane kicked the second-last goal of the grand final and set up the match-winner, cementing his place in Bears folklore.

Kane has always been a one-club player, and his impact on the Bears both on and off the field is immeasurable. I even tried to dig up his first ever match thread post, only to discover that it was a YouTube video that’s now lost to the digital abyss. What wisdom or hilarity that video contained, we’ll never know, but what we do know is that Kane has given us 350 games of unforgettable moments, dedication, and leadership.

Kane249 is more than just a player, he’s a pillar of the Las Vegas Bears, a legend in the Sweet FA, and a gem we’re incredibly fortunate to have. Congratulations on reaching this monumental milestone, Kane. Here’s to many more games in the Bears colors!


----

Kane has had some very memorable posts over the years so lets take a look at a few.

Wait i'm playing on a guy named Janus? No fair as I keep giggling when they call his name


The Bears were in last place at the time with zero wins from their first 6 games of the season
Fiiiiiine, how about this

We are yet to lose to a team below us on the ladder :cool:

Let us know what it's like when we get over the line against your mob on Sunday
This quote inspired the team to Victory, it was the Bears first win for the season and the Bears first win since returning back to the league.


Other memorable quotes from throughout the years

Stop delisting yourselves, you will go blind.

No I make it a point not to hit on women with better facial hair than me.

Breaking Hearts and Breaking Hips, once you go grey, there is no other way :p

So apart from the blindfold, a standard night out with you Matera?

On the release of Cocaine Bear at the Movies, Kane dished up the goss on his Bash Brother Matera
That was the @Matera92 biopic, except they didn't have the budget for the real amount of cocaine use he went through

kane.png
 
View attachment 2090484

Electronic_Renaissance, I’ve hit a creative wall. After writing so many of these milestone posts, I needed a little help. So, I turned to ChatGPT for a little inspiration.

First up on the AI’s list of brilliant ideas was to write you a song, seeing as your username shares a name with a song. I thought, ‘Sure, why not?’ But as it turns out, my musical talents are... well, nonexistent. So, I asked the AI to do the heavy lifting. And what did it produce? A melody that sounded less like a celebration and more like a ritual to summon a demon. But hey, here’s the AI’s attempt:


With the song flopping harder than my attempts to use chopsticks, I moved on to the next suggestion: writing a poem. I’m no poet, but I figured, why not give it a shot? Sadly, AI let me down again, delivering something that would make a Hallmark card writer weep with embarrassment. Still, here’s what it spat out:


When the pizza’s on the plate, you’re the first to take a bite,
But not with hands, no, you do it just right.
With fork in one hand and knife in the other,
You eat like royalty, unlike any other.

The team’s on the field, ready for a fight,
But you're in the locker room, cutting each slice just right.
“Pass the pepperoni,” you call with flair,
As your teammates look on, wondering if you’ll share.

When it’s time to play, you bring your A-game,
But everyone knows, it’s the pizza you’ll tame.
With a twirl of your fork and a slice in your sight,
You prove once again, you’ve got the dining right.

So here’s to you, with your culinary grace,
In the middle of a match, or a pizza race.
A hundred games, and still in the fight,
But not with hands, no, you do it just right.

After two failed attempts and what felt like an eternity of lost time, I decided to give it one last try. The AI suggested making a graphic, and I thought, ‘Surely, this can’t go wrong.’ If the Old Boys can whip up AI generated graphics, then so can I, right? Wrong. Very wrong. The result? Let’s just say it was Picasso level abstract, but not in a good way. Behold:

View attachment 2090487

So, here we are, ER. I’ve got nothing to show for all this effort except a series of catastrophes. But despite the AI's epic failures, there’s one thing I can do without its help, express how much we all appreciate you. Everyone at the Bears loves you and your refined cutlery expertise. In fact, just for you tonight, I’ll be eating my pizza with a knife and fork.

By the way, I think I’m getting better at setting the table. What do you reckon?

View attachment 2090488
What are you talking about? The poem is brilliant, brought a tear to my eye.

Table set up is pretty decent too.
 
Hello Bears!

The Sweet Cricket Association (Sweet CA) has been announced!

The cricket sim league will commence Season 01 in the Sweet FA Off-Season, and will incorporate teams and grounds set within the existing Municipality of Sweet and will serve as a feeder to the Sweet FA within a new designated Sweet CA sub-forum. The Sweet CA is to be a pathway to the wider world of Qooty for new posters, a place for budding leaders to showcase potential, an off-season activity for those needing a sim fix, or simply for those of us who just love or miss a little qricket.

Please do feel free to read more or sign up for the first draft (or prepare your own foundation club bid!)

Sweet CA - Sweet Cricket Association
🏏
 
Hello Bears!

The Sweet Cricket Association (Sweet CA) has been announced!

The cricket sim league will commence Season 01 in the Sweet FA Off-Season, and will incorporate teams and grounds set within the existing Municipality of Sweet and will serve as a feeder to the Sweet FA within a new designated Sweet CA sub-forum. The Sweet CA is to be a pathway to the wider world of Qooty for new posters, a place for budding leaders to showcase potential, an off-season activity for those needing a sim fix, or simply for those of us who just love or miss a little qricket.

Please do feel free to read more or sign up for the first draft (or prepare your own foundation club bid!)

Sweet CA - Sweet Cricket Association
🏏
OK you've made your point, now get out.
 
Hello Bears!

The Sweet Cricket Association (Sweet CA) has been announced!

The cricket sim league will commence Season 01 in the Sweet FA Off-Season, and will incorporate teams and grounds set within the existing Municipality of Sweet and will serve as a feeder to the Sweet FA within a new designated Sweet CA sub-forum. The Sweet CA is to be a pathway to the wider world of Qooty for new posters, a place for budding leaders to showcase potential, an off-season activity for those needing a sim fix, or simply for those of us who just love or miss a little qricket.

Please do feel free to read more or sign up for the first draft (or prepare your own foundation club bid!)

Sweet CA - Sweet Cricket Association
🏏
Will there be proper wins or just moral ones?
 
Moral wins it is.
Unless.... we team up!

Shining Schitts Creek GIF by CBC
 
We are English at heart
Especially since this young chap arrived at the club. I do wish, though, that he would stop trying to push his spotted dick on us, I really don't want to see it.

English Chipmunk.png
 

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