Grand Uncle Horace
Shake down the thunder
News from the Ghost of Jack Little - the return of the Horrorhead
Jack - Greetings rassling fans. I have some sensational news. I recently ran into the Spirit of Rassling aka Grand Uncle Horace aka Horrorhead. He was in a Chinese Yum Cha Clip Joint working his way through two trolleys of other wrestlers feet and tripe in chilli and back bean.
I approached the Legend and asked for an interview. He agreed and the interview went something like this.
Jack: Hello Mr Horrorhead. I haven't seen you since you hospitalized me - by accident, I'm sure - with the Your Chariot's on Fire move in 1968. Great to see you in peak condition. Watcha up to.
GUH: hmmn Hi Jack. Pleased to see your scars have healed. Yes it is true. I am contemplating a return to wrestling.
As you know along with the Golden Greek, Spiros Arion, I invented the forerunner of modern wrestling. I am disturbed at the depths MY sport has sunk to. I feel obligated to restore some credibility to the squared circle.
Jack: What!! This is stunning news. You haven't fought for 50 years following bans from 17 World Federations and a strike by the surviving 621 pro wrestlers.
GUH: Of course, but I have not lost my skills or self belief. I possess a 100% win record over 2,200 years since my career commenced. I remain an inspiration to all who enter the squared circle.
Various Federations over two millennia have imposed completely unjustified lifetime bans on me for the odd incidental fatality on my opponents. That moron Attila the Hun still has a reward out for me.
I have watched the failing efforts of PhenomenalV1 in promoting a cast of spindly nincompoop wrestlers. Most struggle to stumble to the ring. None would survive any of my signature moves:
Jack: That's stunning news. Next steps?
GUH: That's up to the promoter. He knows the right tune has to be played on the keys of the cash register.
--- interview concludes --
Jack - Greetings rassling fans. I have some sensational news. I recently ran into the Spirit of Rassling aka Grand Uncle Horace aka Horrorhead. He was in a Chinese Yum Cha Clip Joint working his way through two trolleys of other wrestlers feet and tripe in chilli and back bean.
I approached the Legend and asked for an interview. He agreed and the interview went something like this.
Jack: Hello Mr Horrorhead. I haven't seen you since you hospitalized me - by accident, I'm sure - with the Your Chariot's on Fire move in 1968. Great to see you in peak condition. Watcha up to.
GUH: hmmn Hi Jack. Pleased to see your scars have healed. Yes it is true. I am contemplating a return to wrestling.
As you know along with the Golden Greek, Spiros Arion, I invented the forerunner of modern wrestling. I am disturbed at the depths MY sport has sunk to. I feel obligated to restore some credibility to the squared circle.
Jack: What!! This is stunning news. You haven't fought for 50 years following bans from 17 World Federations and a strike by the surviving 621 pro wrestlers.
GUH: Of course, but I have not lost my skills or self belief. I possess a 100% win record over 2,200 years since my career commenced. I remain an inspiration to all who enter the squared circle.
Various Federations over two millennia have imposed completely unjustified lifetime bans on me for the odd incidental fatality on my opponents. That moron Attila the Hun still has a reward out for me.
I have watched the failing efforts of PhenomenalV1 in promoting a cast of spindly nincompoop wrestlers. Most struggle to stumble to the ring. None would survive any of my signature moves:
- Poetry in Motion - a hybrid suplex/pea-brainbuster
- Knee cap Cauldron - explodes the knee cap and eviscerates the ACL
- Caesar's Claw - rearranges the vital internal organs
- Horrorhead - removing my mask turns opponents to jelly
Jack: That's stunning news. Next steps?
GUH: That's up to the promoter. He knows the right tune has to be played on the keys of the cash register.
--- interview concludes --
