Autopsy The famous 2024 Whipping Boy Thread

[Vicky Park]

When did IQ quit footy and take up body building?

Around the same time he started promoting perfume for men, and trying to improve the olfactory experience for AFL footballers.

He’s been trialling different scents when he plays. You can see his opponents sniffing and looking confused (although not the same sniffing and confusion that’s going on at Melbourne).

Meanwhile, Q jumps them and all they can see are cornrows running away in the distance.

 

[noideaatall]

I have been waiting in vain for the accolades, you are a hard mob to please. I nailed it with Schultz. Before the season even started I named the next JB Memorial Award winner and, likely, a player that will redefine what this award means to us all. At this time punters were still calling Schultz the next messiah, a trade on a level of Ball or Titch. I saw through that hubris of victory.

Of course Schultz has failed. Right up there with the other 25 or so. But Schultz fails better than any. Cost us a first pick and fails. Caused us to trade a future Brownlow medallist and failed. Turned out to be shorter than the cut on my lawn mower and failed. I could go on ... His failures would sink the Titanic, before it hit the iceberg.

All this pails into insignificance, just chalk it up as another poor trade. What distinguishes Schultz, beyond all previous JB Memorial aspirants, is that his whipping brought the club on notice. They pies released footage specifically designed to pretend there isn't a problem. That, folks, is what a whipping boy is all about. The club was so ashamed at the whipping of Schultz they acted, the players acted, hence the win.

So, you can thank me for last weeks win. You can thank me for pointing out, ad nauseum I might add, that a whipping boy is all about picking a boy to whip so the rest of the mob feel embarrassed and pull their finger out. You can be in awe of my ability to pick a JB Memorial winner from the sniff of a window wipe rag. And yet, you mob are on about a player that isn't going to figure in the JB Memorial because they will be playing the twos most of the year.

Read and learn you mob, read and learn.

 

[sr36]

I have been waiting in vain for the accolades, you are a hard mob to please. I nailed it with Schultz. Before the season even started I named the next JB Memorial Award winner and, likely, a player that will redefine what this award means to us all. At this time punters were still calling Schultz the next messiah, a trade on a level of Ball or Titch. I saw through that hubris of victory.

Of course Schultz has failed. Right up there with the other 25 or so. But Schultz fails better than any. Cost us a first pick and fails. Caused us to trade a future Brownlow medallist and failed. Turned out to be shorter than the cut on my lawn mower and failed. I could go on ... His failures would sink the Titanic, before it hit the iceberg.

All this pails into insignificance, just chalk it up as another poor trade. What distinguishes Schultz, beyond all previous JB Memorial aspirants, is that his whipping brought the club on notice. They pies released footage specifically designed to pretend there isn't a problem. That, folks, is what a whipping boy is all about. The club was so ashamed at the whipping of Schultz they acted, the players acted, hence the win.

So, you can thank me for last weeks win. You can thank me for pointing out, ad nauseum I might add, that a whipping boy is all about picking a boy to whip so the rest of the mob feel embarrassed and pull their finger out. You can be in awe of my ability to pick a JB Memorial winner from the sniff of a window wipe rag. And yet, you mob are on about a player that isn't going to figure in the JB Memorial because they will be playing the twos most of the year.

Read and learn you mob, read and learn.

I'm still not seeing it. He doesn't get the ball enough to **** up that often. He hasn't been around ****ing up for long enough to have developed the hatred. Frankly, if I was to try to spit on him in disgust after a loss, I wouldn't even know who he was and would probably spit on the runner (who is shit and would deserve it). You've got to be able to picture them to generate JB worthy hate.

 

[Sea fog]

I've regained my words after that apoplectic embarassing disaster and all I've got to say is 3 votes to Frampton for handballing into Moore's head. If there's even been a bloke more deserving of being whacked in the head ...

What a useless grass guarding woke disgrace and he's our ******* captain.

Think he has been more than guarding this grass judging by some of the silly things he had done on field this year.

 

[Vicky Park]

A new candidate for this thread is the first-round bust of Fin Macrae who has no AFL-level skills and excels only in the VFL and during the sub-standard pre-season.

We are circling Fin. Biding our time.

He’s like the juiciest morsel on the plate - do you eat it first or leave it to last, to really savour it?

Focus on one and focus hard.

I think that’s what noideaatall wants us to do, but I’ve got no idea what he’s on about.

 

[manicpie]

We are circling Fin. Biding our time.

He’s like the juiciest morsel on the plate - do you eat it first or leave it to last, to really savour it?

Focus on one and focus hard.

I think that’s what noideaatall wants us to do, but I’ve got no idea what he’s on about.

Not me, I'm gunning for Lipinski. He is bigger, faster, stronger and much better looking than me.

 

[Vicky Park]

Not me, I'm gunning for Lipinski. He is bigger, faster, stronger and much better looking than me.

Seems reasonable to go after him for that.

We’ve mounted attacks on here with far less justification.

 

[sr36]

Not me, I'm gunning for Lipinski. He is bigger, faster, stronger and much better looking than me.

That's why I whip them all.

 

[manicpie]

That's why I whip them all.

It's been hard to find one since Blair retired

 

[sr36]

It was great to see Pendlebury finally realise that he's too old and slow and can only contribute to the team by punching people.

 

[Vicky Park]

It was great to see Pendlebury finally realise that he's too old and slow and can only contribute to the team by punching people.

Agree. It took a while, but he’s finally made it to the ‘meathead’ stage of his career.

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

We are circling Fin. Biding our time.

He’s like the juiciest morsel on the plate - do you eat it first or leave it to last, to really savour it?

Focus on one and focus hard.

I think that’s what noideaatall wants us to do, but I’ve got no idea what he’s on about.

Circling fin like sharks.

 

[sr36]

Agree. It took a while, but he’s finally made it to the ‘meathead’ stage of his career.

He really needs to break some jaws to round off his career.

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

He really needs to break some jaws to round off his career.

Chicken wings
Eye gouging
Etc etc

Pendles still has a lot of things he hasn’t achieved in his career yet and he’s running out of time. Might need a career extension to allow him the courtesy of ticking these off his must do list.

 

[sr36]

Chicken wings
Eye gouging
Etc etc

Pendles still has a lot of things he hasn’t achieved in his career yet and he’s running out of time. Might need a career extension to allow him the courtesy of ticking these off his must do list.

Yep - 1 year extension. With suspensions, it should take him 2 years to tick off the bucket list and play the 13 games needed to get to 400.

 

[noideaatall]

I'm still not seeing it. He doesn't get the ball enough to * up that often. He hasn't been around ******* up for long enough to have developed the hatred. Frankly, if I was to try to spit on him in disgust after a loss, I wouldn't even know who he was and would probably spit on the runner (who is s**t and would deserve it). You've got to be able to picture them to generate JB worthy hate.

I assume by "it" you mean my glorious vision, not Schultz. Not surprised you can't see. Its a type of intelligence thing. Some people can't see anything unless its right in front of their face. With Schultz, unless you are using binoculars its unlikely you will see him anyway or, at best, likely mistake him for one of those pop up sprinklers. First time I saw Schultz I thought there was something wrong with the TV. Those weird little short arms can never be unseen. I knew then he was the future of the JB Memorial.

Possessions are not that relevant to the JB Memorial. JB himself used to lead for the ball but did you ever see him mark it? Wilbur's trademark is running from one end of the ground to the other repeatedly, alongside the ball but yet never touching. Neither of those two ever had the club specially put out footage to demonstrate the value of non-possession.

You need to wander over to the Schultz thread sr36. They really know their footy and will set you straight on all Schultz's * ups.

 

[ellesbells]

Former Collingwood midfielder Callum Brown won the Frank Johnson Medal as the VFL’s best player, after amassing a game-high 28 disposals, six inside 50s and six rebound 50s in the Big V jumper.

 

[sr36]

Former Collingwood midfielder Callum Brown won the Frank Johnson Medal as the VFL’s best player, after amassing a game-high 28 disposals, six inside 50s and six rebound 50s in the Big V jumper.


View attachment 1951798

Good point. Shows that all the spuds who play VFL for us are shitter than Callum Brown.

 

[Markfs]

That's the wrong photo....callum brown is a black guy from ireland. This isnt even the guy who used to play for us. I think our guy ended up as an uber driver in alice springs...

Former Collingwood midfielder Callum Brown won the Frank Johnson Medal as the VFL’s best player, after amassing a game-high 28 disposals, six inside 50s and six rebound 50s in the Big V jumper.


View attachment 1951798

 

[Markfs]

We got sold a dud with that shultz guy. I was reliably informed by people down the road from me that shultz was an uncomplicated bloke who just loved his footy.... and now we find out that he is suffering from brain damage. Did anyone at the club think to take him through some basic IQ tests to work out whether he could understand simple instructions? No wonder Wright has left the country...

I assume by "it" you mean my glorious vision, not Schultz. Not surprised you can't see. Its a type of intelligence thing. Some people can't see anything unless its right in front of their face. With Schultz, unless you are using binoculars its unlikely you will see him anyway or, at best, likely mistake him for one of those pop up sprinklers. First time I saw Schultz I thought there was something wrong with the TV. Those weird little short arms can never be unseen. I knew then he was the future of the JB Memorial.

Possessions are not that relevant to the JB Memorial. JB himself used to lead for the ball but did you ever see him mark it? Wilbur's trademark is running from one end of the ground to the other repeatedly, alongside the ball but yet never touching. Neither of those two ever had the club specially put out footage to demonstrate the value of non-possession.

You need to wander over to the Schultz thread sr36. They really know their footy and will set you straight on all Schultz's * ups.

 

[Markfs]

i think its time for the bruzzie wuzzie bruzmaster bruzz to take over the captaincy. Captain woke is shot. We should onsell him to sydney for a third rounder while he's worth something. Even the woke journos arent gushing anymore about him. I've been told that he has downed tools in support of various causes around the world. I think we should get the israelis to take his family hostage, to try to "encourage" him to get a kick. At least the bruz has the respect of this thread.....

Tom mitchell continues to do his moondance impersonation, and i've never seen a footballer move so slowly. I watch his feet and they look like they're set in concrete.

Fin is finally finished....thank god for that little experiment ending. Evidently, he's got a job posing nude with will kelly

20

Will Kelly

Age

24

Ht

194cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

5.0

1star

K

4.0

2star

HB

1.0

1star

M

2.0

2star

T

0.0

1star

MG

108.0

2star

D

5.0

1star

K

4.0

1star

HB

1.0

1star

M

2.0

2star

T

0.0

1star

MG

108.0

2star

D

5.0

1star

K

4.0

2star

HB

1.0

2star

M

2.0

3star

T

0.0

1star

MG

108.0

2star

....so at least he is going to something that will suit him more.

i'd probably call out a few on the list like beau and just tell the others to clean out their lockers....

 

[sr36]

i think its time for the bruzzie wuzzie bruzmaster bruzz to take over the captaincy. Captain woke is shot. We should onsell him to sydney for a third rounder while he's worth something. Even the woke journos arent gushing anymore about him. I've been told that he has downed tools in support of various causes around the world. I think we should get the israelis to take his family hostage, to try to "encourage" him to get a kick. At least the bruz has the respect of this thread.....

Tom mitchell continues to do his moondance impersonation, and i've never seen a footballer move so slowly. I watch his feet and they look like they're set in concrete.

Fin is finally finished....thank god for that little experiment ending. Evidently, he's got a job posing nude with will kelly....so at least he is going to something that will suit him more.

i'd probably call out a few on the list like beau and just tell the others to clean out their lockers....

I've become completely demoralised this year.

I think of all the incredible work we've done to drive out spuds like Cal, the Madge, Trey and his mum (we should have kept her). It's all been for nought. Dekkas just replaced them with bigger spuds who get outplayed by Cal in the VFL rep game.

Don't worry. I'm still going to flay the spuds to drive them out of the club - but is their any point when Dekka just loves spuds. He must be Irish. No more Irish recruiters. FFS.

 

[Markfs]

I've become completely demoralised this year.

I think of all the incredible work we've done to drive out spuds like Cal, the Madge, Trey and his mum (we should have kept her). It's all been for nought. Dekkas just replaced them with bigger spuds who get outplayed by Cal in the VFL rep game.

Don't worry. I'm still going to flay the spuds to drive them out of the club - but is their any point when Dekka just loves spuds. He must be Irish. No more Irish recruiters. FFS.

well you can tell the "i love derek" brigade that he has produced another round of shockas.....Fin is finished.....edward allen gave the game away with that name. I knew it. He could have been Ed....or even a Ted might have done...but no....edward. I prefer to just call him useless.

As for harris harrison....he's another.... mcinnness....useless... and a lot of these guys are top 20 draft picks too. And the derek lovers come out of the cracks in the walls and tell us that you cant pick a forward unless they are top 5 in the draft. You might get a half-back flanker from a top ten.....

i'm sick of the excuses. I'm sick of the constant undermining of the team by derek who is not going to rest until every single player is a useless spud... why the hell doesnt he leave and join melbourne? I read this morning that ginnivan read the room....well forgodsake teach derek to read!!....teach him so he knows that he needs to leave now...

Talking about nepo babies, I read that article about ginnivan by that kid gabo on the AFL site. I assume that this kid has some relationship to the great gabo.....i have a message....piss off nepo!

 

[sr36]

well you can tell the "i love derek" brigade that he has produced another round of shockas.....Fin is finished.....edward allen gave the game away with that name. I knew it. He could have been Ed....or even a Ted might have done...but no....edward. I prefer to just call him useless.

As for harris harrison....he's another.... mcinnness....useless... and a lot of these guys are top 20 draft picks too. And the derek lovers come out of the cracks in the walls and tell us that you cant pick a forward unless they are top 5 in the draft. You might get a half-back flanker from a top ten.....

i'm sick of the excuses. I'm sick of the constant undermining of the team by derek who is not going to rest until every single player is a useless spud... why the hell doesnt he leave and join melbourne? I read this morning that ginnivan read the room....well forgodsake teach derek to read!!....teach him so he knows that he needs to leave now...

Talking about nepo babies, I read that article about ginnivan by that kid gabo on the AFL site. I assume that this kid has some relationship to the great gabo.....i have a message....piss off nepo!

I reckon Dekka is about to leave and open up a fish and chip shop. Why else would you order in so many spuds?

 

[Greenaicos]

I've become completely demoralised this year.

I think of all the incredible work we've done to drive out spuds like Cal, the Madge, Trey and his mum (we should have kept her). It's all been for nought. Dekkas just replaced them with bigger spuds who get outplayed by Cal in the VFL rep game.

Don't worry. I'm still going to flay the spuds to drive them out of the club - but is their any point when Dekka just loves spuds. He must be Irish. No more Irish recruiters. FFS.

It’s about expectation and on that point it has to be Nicky D. He’s made more errors in the first four rounds than all of the last two years. All the commentators are drooling over Rosee, the Bont, Petracca with no mention of ND. He was supposedly robbed of the Brownlow last year yet is nowhere to be seen on any of the current media awards. He’s let us down big time.