In fact it's the opposite. If someone has to develop themselves in order to meet expectations, at middle age it's a slim chance as the personality is fully formed and stuck on its tracks. If it's a matter of task equality then that can be learned, but if a person doesn't get it then they're unlikely ever to.Please don't commit the sin of low expectations......
Look her right in the eye and be honest with her.......
"honey, you need to lift your game or I'm going to have to let you go..."