Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[sr36]

I’m Gen X thanks!

I know. That's what makes it more shameful. You can kind of forgive these younguns who were born woke and have never been asleep. But those who actually woke to become woke...

 

[Vicky Park]

No Wokey. You had the Gen Z woke idea to try to lampoon posters for rightly whipping our spuds, but the passionate wokeless fans have run with the thread to point out the shitness of so many players that pull on our beloved jumper for the betterment of the club.

We've flayed wokes on the beaches. We've flayed squibs and spuds on the footy grounds. We've delisted Browns. We didn't surrender. We triumphed!

This is so inspiring. Gonna have a big off-season now, practicing my whipping.

 

[Sea fog]

i was going to start a new thread but I cant be stuffed...so I'll ask the question here...

what happened to the woke king in the last month, expecially the grand final. He was putrid. He couldnt even keep country joe danniher under wraps.

Was he carrying an injury or was the pressure of leadership too much for the poor boy?

Well they reckon he was carrying a wrist and ankle injury but Fly thought he was good in the 1st 2 finals. Anyway a 9th finish is pretty poor from skip, his worst season in many. Last year he finished 3rd, reckon captaincy does not fit well. How about Maynard? He finished 2nd, maybe Mark you need to start campaign to make him leader. He was promoted to the leadership group and had his best ever finish in the B and F. He handles this pressure better than Captain Woke. Demote him to just a mere player again and he might recapture his form of past seasons.

 

[Markfs]

Well they reckon he was carrying a wrist and ankle injury but Fly thought he was good in the 1st 2 finals. Anyway a 9th finish is pretty poor from skip, his worst season in many. Last year he finished 3rd, reckon captaincy does not fit well. How about Maynard? He finished 2nd, maybe Mark you need to start campaign to make him leader. He was promoted to the leadership group and had his best ever finish in the B and F. He handles this pressure better than Captain Woke. Demote him to just a mere player again and he might recapture his form of past seasons.

fogmeister, i had access to the highest levels of the club but they turned against me and blacklisted me....that explains how knowledgable I am and how smart I am. If I started a compaigne, they would snuff it out in an instant and the bruzzywuzzy's life would be in danger. I couldnt do that to him. It is my life to forever stay in the shadows, a once great force for the collingwood football club. I trust you not to spread this story any further. The woke forces at the Pies are seeking me out, as we speak.

 

[sideswipe]

Well they reckon he was carrying a wrist and ankle injury but Fly thought he was good in the 1st 2 finals. Anyway a 9th finish is pretty poor from skip, his worst season in many. Last year he finished 3rd, reckon captaincy does not fit well. How about Maynard? He finished 2nd, maybe Mark you need to start campaign to make him leader. He was promoted to the leadership group and had his best ever finish in the B and F. He handles this pressure better than Captain Woke. Demote him to just a mere player again and he might recapture his form of past seasons.

Bruz gives better speeches. Every time I hear Darcy I am reminded that I am an evil conservative. I’d rather hear Bruz talk about mateship. And fast cars and chicks if he wants to go broader.


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Markfs]

Bruz gives better speeches. Every time I hear Darcy I am reminded that I am an evil conservative. I’d rather hear Bruz talk about mateship. And fast cars and chicks if he wants to go broader.


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app

I couldnt agree more, wipey. This is the thread for you, no doubt. We love evil conservatives in here.

I honestly turn Captain Woke off these days. It's not an easy thing to do to turn off the captain of the collingwood footy club, but I skipped the Darcy speech at the beginning of the Copeland. He's just too much these days. He spoke well after the Anzac game but the pats on the back seem to have gone to his head.

In fact, I skipped most of the front end of the Copeland. That guy with the animal on his shoulders has been a constant visitor to my TV recently. I'm not sure how many times I need to be welcomed.

 

[sr36]

I couldnt agree more, wipey. This is the thread for you, no doubt. We love evil conservatives in here.

I honestly turn Captain Woke off these days. It's not an easy thing to do to turn off the captain of the collingwood footy club, but I skipped the Darcy speech at the beginning of the Copeland. He's just too much these days. He spoke well after the Anzac game but the pats on the back seem to have gone to his head.

In fact, I skipped most of the front end of the Copeland. That guy with the animal on his shoulders has been a constant visitor to my TV recently. I'm not sure how many times I need to be welcomed.

I like that the wokes are celebrating that bloke for wearing fur. It won't be long before shooting things is back in vogue and we get our semi automatic weapons back. It's onward and upward from there.

 

[sr36]

We've been remiss in not celebrating the delistings yet. Sure it's been pitifully few but hopefully it's just began. Plus we've finally gotten rid of Turnover Tay. Good times!

I'm looking forward to whipping Wright for bending over - without lube I hear.

 

[Vicky Park]

I like that the wokes are celebrating that bloke for wearing fur. It won't be long before shooting things is back in vogue and we get our semi automatic weapons back. It's onward and upward from there.

Big weekend of celebrations coming up for the anti-wokes. Something about a referendum thingy where they get to vote 'No' just because they can and because something something someone said its a good idea.

Re your semi-automatics, have you had them in storage waiting for Freedom Day? I saw some blokes on the steps of the Victorian Parliament last week, all dressed in Aussie flags, and protesting about their rights being infringed and their freedoms curtailed. I looked for you, but must have missed you.

 

[Markfs]

Big weekend of celebrations coming up for the anti-wokes. Something about a referendum thingy where they get to vote 'No' just because they can and because something something someone said its a good idea.

Re your semi-automatics, have you had them in storage waiting for Freedom Day? I saw some blokes on the steps of the Victorian Parliament last week, all dressed in Aussie flags, and protesting about their rights being infringed and their freedoms curtailed. I looked for you, but must have missed you.

Actually I was thinking aboutchanging my name to "Mark No" and running for parliament. To me it's almost the perfect scenario. I'd appeal to people who dont know anything except for stuff about barbies and beer and how to whinge about morgages, so I wouldnt have to bother about boring stuff like policies.

so....DONT KNOW? VOTE MARK NO....

 

[Markfs]

We've been remiss in not celebrating the delistings yet. Sure it's been pitifully few but hopefully it's just began. Plus we've finally gotten rid of Turnover Tay. Good times!

I'm looking forward to whipping Wright for bending over - without lube I hear.

Like most on the board, I hate Tay Tay....never forgiven him for taking the Heater's place. A sad day....

No news about Limpdickski getting the flick....or the hyphen. Wright cant even get rid of that useless bag of bones, Ned Kelly Jnr. I heard a rumour that he thinks young Ned might be another Nat Fyfe....if i had a dollar

 

[sr36]

Big weekend of celebrations coming up for the anti-wokes. Something about a referendum thingy where they get to vote 'No' just because they can and because something something someone said its a good idea.

Re your semi-automatics, have you had them in storage waiting for Freedom Day? I saw some blokes on the steps of the Victorian Parliament last week, all dressed in Aussie flags, and protesting about their rights being infringed and their freedoms curtailed. I looked for you, but must have missed you.

The guns are buried in the backyard, alongside 50kg of Coon cheese - just waiting for this woke shit to pass.

I only attend the rallies in spirit. If you go in person the wokes track you and spike your water with herbal tea and tofu and terrifying shit like that.

 

[Markfs]

I only attend the rallies in spirit. If you go in person the wokes track you and spike your water with herbal tea and tofu and terrifying s**t like that.

That must be what happened to steven may....if the wokes responsible are reading this, thank you...

 

[Vicky Park]

The guns are buried in the backyard, alongside 50kg of Coon cheese - just waiting for this woke s**t to pass.

I only attend the rallies in spirit. If you go in person the wokes track you and spike your water with herbal tea and tofu and terrifying s**t like that.

I admire your preparations for the day when you’ll have to defend - with guns - everything that’s right about this country. Your family must really appreciate your efforts to keep them locked into your compound, and safe from the marauding wokes.

 

[Markfs]

On other matters, I read where Lachie Schultz is holding the "whip hand" in negotiations with his current club. It pricked my interest for as we know, Schultz is a german name and we all know that most germans are into bondage and such. In some ways, Lachie might provide an opportunity to make our attacks more sophisticated, but on the other hand, he might teach the rest of the group the pleasures involved in whipping..... and then the game-day thread and this one, would appear a little......toothless

 

[jmac70]

Black arm bands tonight. A whipping boy legend has departed the club.
May you long butcher forward 50 entries at the Swans.

Love you Tay.

 

[sr36]

I admire your preparations for the day when you’ll have to defend - with guns - everything that’s right about this country. Your family must really appreciate your efforts to keep them locked into your compound, and safe from the marauding wokes.

You'd think they'd be happy, but my wife left me and took the kids not long after I banned vegetables from the house due to their woke tendencies. She might get the house, but the sucker doesn't know about the hidden guns and coon cheese. I won't have to split that payload at all.

 

[Sea fog]

I couldnt agree more, wipey. This is the thread for you, no doubt. We love evil conservatives in here.

I honestly turn Captain Woke off these days. It's not an easy thing to do to turn off the captain of the collingwood footy club, but I skipped the Darcy speech at the beginning of the Copeland. He's just too much these days. He spoke well after the Anzac game but the pats on the back seem to have gone to his head.

In fact, I skipped most of the front end of the Copeland. That guy with the animal on his shoulders has been a constant visitor to my TV recently. I'm not sure how many times I need to be welcomed.

The guy with the animal on his shoulders went on for longer than usual at the Copeland but it cannot have escaped Mark's attention that Captain Woke has made a speech about the Voice and he justifies why he is voting Yes. He will be happy that Brodie and Tay Tay are reunited to carry on the disconnect at the centre square they had at Pieland.

 

[Markfs]

The guy with the animal on his shoulders went on for longer than usual at the Copeland but it cannot have escaped Mark's attention that Captain Woke has made a speech about the Voice and he justifies why he is voting Yes. He will be happy that Brodie and Tay Tay are reunited to carry on the disconnect at the centre square they had at Pieland.

at this stage in proceedings, I'm attempting to escape everything that captain woke is doing. Nice that brodee has found a new club. Maybe stay in sydney the following year and join GWS. Hopefully he would have retired in 17 years before he starts a second round of the clubs....

Tay tay was obviously thrown out because he was too manly. Saw the writing on the wall when he lost the captaincy to the Woke king....

 

[Markfs]

captain woke in two successive commercials on kayo....will he have time to play for the pies next year?

 

[sr36]

Wrights going great.

Another couple of wins. The butcher and the lairy flog gone. With Spud set to retire. Only real disappointment is that we didn't dump Lippa and the Ranga didn't take the hint after we trolled him and patronised him by playing all year in order to ridicule him and drop him for the finals.

 

[Timmy from Thomastown]

Wrights going great.

Another couple of wins. The butcher and the lairy flog gone. With Spud set to retire. Only real disappointment is that we didn't dump Lippa and the Ranga didn't take the hint after we trolled him and patronised him by playing all year in order to ridicule him and drop him for the finals.

But how are we left? Sad days

Our success on this thread is leading to our redundancy.

 

[Markfs]

But how are we left? Sad days

Our success on this thread is leading to our redundancy.

I doubt that we'll ever rid ourselves of all the garbage. Derek Hine has a natural inclination to draft useless peculiar footballers. That kid Ryan looks a winner. Maybe that clout he got might have hit some sense into him, but as he's from adelaide, I doubt it.

We still have the male model, who outdid himself in the finals. I've never seen a collingwood footballer squib at so many consecutive contests.

And then there's ned kelly jnr who cant really be categorised as a professional footballer, other than the fact that he's getting paid.

The game-day thread will set the standard and some might think that a premiership is going to soften them.....so we'll have to see

 

[jmac70]

This thread is becoming as worthless as me.

 

[Markfs]

This thread is becoming as worthless as me.

you're not worthless jmac....your presence allows us to feel good about ourselves