Analysis Whipping Boys - 2023 edition

[Horaceg]

He's got a built in whip protector - because he's so useless, if Bianco gets games, I'll be whipping the coaches rather than Bianco.

As long as someone is getting whipped, can’t just have it, a whip on the coaches back is worth two on Bianca’s

 

[Vicky Park]

Thanks to Jmac for getting off the IPAs and starting this thread.

Firstly, as I have it, WHE won the Blair Memorial Trophy in 2022 by one vote. I am not sure whether congratulations are in order but he certainly had some competition.

Glad we started early this year as there are some serious concerns to identify. As many of you would be aware a prominent poster in another thread claimed at best there are only a couple of whipping boy contributors that take their role seriously. Further, an esteemed mod replied ‘everyone knows the thread is a joke.’ This thread has become the laughing stock of the Collingwood site. It is a disgrace. You all need to have a good hard look in the mirror. Some of you don’t belong here, some of you won’t be here at the end of the year.

I won’t say I warned you, which I did numerous times last year. You mob have become complacent and its very likely that cost us another lost grand final, given how close we were in 2022. There was a clear loss of inspiration and a need to go back to basics. No more what do they put in their coffee or what side they part their hair. Can a player catch the ball? Pendlebury has got off scot free for years but proved he can catch in 2022 – your failure to whip him likely cost us a heap of Brownlows. Can a player kick over a jam jar: get specific, 375g or 500g. You need to put some time into players partners: this trend towards hot princesses is not on. As if they are going to wash a jockstrap, as if a player is going to rush to training early and miss some action at home.

A post from last year:


Welcome …. This bloke embarrassed you all. Created an opportunity to focus on WHE and took a sideswipe at the bottom simultaneously. It’s a good point. Sidey was all too willing to get his gear off at Howie’s but does he post pictures? If the Dacoi can do it so can he. Definitely hiding something.

I've had a look at the first two days of preseason and some positives signs are there. That said, some new blood would help. We need some support on the ground, not posters banished to some god forsaken place like Freemantle in Markfs's case. We need photos of hair cuts, coffee cups and jam jars. Someone go out and recruit Jen.

Pull your socks up folks. The target is three good nominations for the Blair Memorial Trophy by season start or go back to the 'who we are going to draft in 2029 thread. '

I got a little upset when I read this post. I think whipping can take many forms, and follow many paths. Especially when the whipper is actually clueless about football. This is why I prefer to focus on coffee, or hair, or puffer jackets. I think all these things tell us a lot about our players.

 

[jmac70]

I’m a little concerned there has not been a mention of Bianco, might be slipping under the whip a little, if he’s getting games, he’s getting whipped……so, so whippable

Blair, Brown(s), Brodie, Bianco, Buckley

There is a pattern emerging.

 

[neilk]

I got a little upset when I read this post. I think whipping can take many forms, and follow many paths. Especially when the whipper is actually clueless about football. This is why I prefer to focus on coffee, or hair, or puffer jackets. I think all these things tell us a lot about our players.

Give up. Resistance is useless.

 

[GCMagpie]

McStay for me. I’ve been watching Lions games trying to get into him, but he’s a potato.

 

[GCMagpie]

Thanks for this. I already dislike him intensely - for no particular reason - so this post is an especially sweet treat.

I feel the same re: Frampton and have no idea why. Is it the name?

He has a bit of a smarmy look about him.

 

[Juan Ide]

I feel the same re: Frampton and have no idea why. Is it the name?

He has a bit of a smarmy look about him.

He looks like one of those clueless Non-Commissioned Officers in a World War I reenactment Blackadder episode. Even his wispy, blond-ish regimental mustache (if he hasn't shaved it off yet) fits the bill. The sort of slovenly coward who would order his men over the top and sit back smirking in his cosy trench, sipping tea while they were cut to pieces by the Hun. Needs a good flogging just for his appearance. the self-satisfied, bland-faced, ogreish scumbag!

 

[Markfs]

The problem with pete frampton is that looks can be deceiving....or maybe they're not deceiving enough.....whichever.

He might turn into something when he dons the black and white... I look at his face and it's hard to work out whether he's a dope addict or his IQ is below 60 or both.

He's from south fremantle and that is drey ruscow territory....and I've moved around the natives here for a number of years and there is a long history of mung-beaning and people in orange costumes...but there's also a lot of wanton destruction of property and sheer stupidity. I have a feeling we'll know the answer in the first month

 

[Markfs]

Blair, Brown(s), Brodie, Bianco, Buckley

There is a pattern emerging.

there are definite trends. I would stay clear of anyone who is from adelaide......grundee, tim crackhead, that kennedy jerk, anyone recommended by matt rendell. I go back to scott russell who was pretty good but tony francis probably demonstrated the double-edged sword of picking someone of low IQ from south australia. Caleb Putrid could have won the whipping boy title multiple times but even the Pies were embarassed by their pick and wanted to clear him off the books. Bucks of course who has done untold harm over a 20 year period. Mark Williams who somehow managed to convince someone that he was leadership material. Greg Phillips who played in 8 premierships with Port and couldnt be bothered when he was with us. They are all disasters. Alan Didak showed promise in his nighttime recreational exploits but I always thought of him as a bit a froth on the latte. I'd stay clear of them.

 

[noideaatall]

I got a little upset when I read this post. I think whipping can take many forms, and follow many paths. Especially when the whipper is actually clueless about football. This is why I prefer to focus on coffee, or hair, or puffer jackets. I think all these things tell us a lot about our players.

I am very concerned to read your reply. I have only posted with my tongue firmly in my cheek and never intended to direct any valid criticism at someone or offend in any way. I humbly apologize. You continue doing what you have been, its great.

 

[MC42]

The problem with pete frampton is that looks can be deceiving....or maybe they're not deceiving enough.....whichever.

He might turn into something when he dons the black and white... I look at his face and it's hard to work out whether he's a dope addict or his IQ is below 60 or both.

He's from south fremantle and that is drey ruscow territory....and I've moved around the natives here for a number of years and there is a long history of mung-beaning and people in orange costumes...but there's also a lot of wanton destruction of property and sheer stupidity. I have a feeling we'll know the answer in the first month

View attachment 1581221

I like his earlier stuff better

 

[Markfs]

I am very concerned to read your reply. I have only posted with my tongue firmly in my cheek and never intended to direct any valid criticism at someone or offend in any way. I humbly apologize. You continue doing what you have been, its great.

Wimp.... and i'm not sure you should be putting your tongue in various cheeks on a family site like this

 

[Horaceg]

Has anyone had a second thought for our jockeys, they use whips everyday, how are they going to cope when they cant get supply because they’ve been all used up whipping the cr@p out of Frampton.

 

[Markfs]

Has anyone had a second thought for our jockeys, they use whips everyday, how are they going to cope when they cant get supply because they’ve been all used up whipping the cr@p out of Frampton.

I dont think anyone associated with this thread wants to see innocent horses whipped. It's a thing of a bygone era. Obviously, this isnt the case with footballers who are well known to lack motivation or to go off the rails easily. Also players are paid outrageous money that's comparable to what someone like elon musk gets. Horses arent that lucky.

 

[Juan Ide]

I dont think anyone associated with this thread wants to see innocent horses whipped. It's a thing of a bygone era. Obviously, this isnt the case with footballers who are well known to lack motivation or to go off the rails easily. Also players are paid outrageous money that's comparable to what someone like elon musk gets. Horses arent that lucky.

I had a friend who used to be into sad*sm, bestial*ty and necroph*lia. But she eventually gave it up when she realised she was just flogging a dead horse

 

[Markfs]

I had a friend who used to be into sad*sm, bestial*ty and necroph*lia. But she eventually gave it up when she realised she was just whipping a dead horse

There's a fine line between being a mongrel hero and a sicko....We're a family club extolling all the positive values of the promotion of targetted violence within a gameplan

 

[Markfs]

I like his earlier stuff better

I have the feeling that Pete is probably a better guitarist than footballer and we'll be finding that out as the season proceeds...

 

[Markfs]

Dane Swan has demonstrated the type of attitude in his tweets that won us a premiership..... I think Pete Frampton could be like this but it's a fine line. He just might be plain stupid...

 

[Markfs]

In a move by the club to protect Tom Wilson from whipping this year, they have gone out and got another Tom Wilson to confuse everyone and to probably bump up the stats of the one on the list.

So when we're talking about tom wilson, we might have to refer to that useless ex-basketballer tom wilson....

One can only wonder how they're going to protext Will Kelly from a regular hiding each week. I suppose issues like these keep the coaches busy during the pre-season

 

[jmac70]

I like his earlier stuff better

Cut the hair off and it could be Frampton jnr.

 

[noideaatall]

OFFS. You mob have nothing to whip. You are trying to conjure up shite from an empty shovel.
Its not a feckin camel race ... or is it? Maybe each player should have a remote-control connoting to the whipping thread. Well, that would change the whole blame game,,,

 

[Vicky Park]

OFFS. You mob have nothing to whip. You are trying to conjure up shite from an empty shovel.
Its not a feckin camel race ... or is it? Maybe each player should have a remote-control connoting to the whipping thread. Well, that would change the whole blame game,,,

Having nothing to whip is the whole point. But it’s still the players’ fault. Why aren’t they playing? If they were playing we’d have something more specific to whip them about. But they’re not, and they’re not even training ATM.

I give up.

 

[Markfs]

OFFS. You mob have nothing to whip. You are trying to conjure up shite from an empty shovel.
Its not a feckin camel race ... or is it? Maybe each player should have a remote-control connoting to the whipping thread. Well, that would change the whole blame game,,,

This isnt a game for an impatient sort of person. We took 5 or 6 years to convince the club to get rid of the sheep dog. It's a plain as the yellow streak down that hendry guy's back, that Ned jnr is not even capable of holding a football, let alone catch it... but he's got his dad working 24/7 to keep him on the list...

And as far as remote devices are concerned, I was in discussions with a recent candidate for a board position about the possibility of remotely connecting 240volts to the players and have it activated by the whipping thread, as a motivational tool. Unfortunately, he wasn't elected in. For some strange reason, he didnt put it on his candidate manifesto......i know, it's baffling

 

[Juan Ide]

OFFS. You mob have nothing to whip. You are trying to conjure up shite from an empty shovel.
Its not a feckin camel race ... or is it? Maybe each player should have a remote-control connoting to the whipping thread. Well, that would change the whole blame game,,,

I'd have thought that pre-whipping is a much more effective mode of operation than post-whipping. Operating on the "prevention is better than cure" principle, this is exactly the time at which we should be whipping most merrily away. It is surely our God-given duty to condition our players out of unhealthy habits that they might otherwise fall into, based on critical evidence such as our gut-feel, insecurities or an individual's appearance. To do otherwise is to invite disaster, as players may feel that they have complete latitude to make exactly those sorts of inexcusable errors as our collective imaginations might implausibly conjure! Premierships are surely most often won or lost based upon the effectiveness of pre-whipping campaigns!

 

[Markfs]

I'd have thought that pre-whipping is a much more effective mode of operation than post-whipping. Operating on the "prevention is better than cure" principle, this is exactly the time at which we should be whipping most merrily away. It is surely our God-given duty to condition our players out of unhealthy habits that they might otherwise fall into, based on critical evidence such as our gut-feel, insecurities or an individual's appearance. To do otherwise is to invite disaster, as players may feel that they have complete latitude to make exactly those sorts of inexcusable errors as our collective imaginations might implausibly conjure! Premierships are surely most often won or lost based upon the effectiveness of pre-whipping campaigns!

Interesting thought and I would have thought that a contingency management approach would be effective - putting monetary rewards on desired behaviour. We're doing that a little with Jordan but of course, the behaviours that we're wishing to control are irrelevant or catering to the woke. I'd like to see a far wider use on the players and put mongrels clauses in, for example.